Men (and shameless women) - Best Things To Do While Doing a Number 2?

speedboatchase

Yes AH is getting pretty scatalogical - apologies. But the shower peeing thread had me wondering, what are the most heroic things you've done while dropping the kids off at the pool? Me personally I've:

- Read a magazine (obv)
- Brushed my teeth (efficient)
- Drank coffee (super relaxing)

Pretty tame I guess, where am I going wrong here?

Gordon

Took a shower while on it once and play guitar sometimes. I think I even filled out part of my mortgage application on the bog.

Renn

nvm

minidazzler

Read the shampoo bottle.

Renn

I presume this is common enough but I've often used my laptop too.

Fago!

minidazzler wrote: »

Read the shampoo bottle.

heh heh

minidazzler

Renn wrote: »

I presume this is common enough but I've often used my laptop too.

That explains your sh1tty posts.....:D

Renn

Zing!

mailforkev

The iPod Touch is nicknamed the iPoo in our house as it's toilet time internet a lot of the time.

Back in first or second year in school one of my friends told us all how he used to do a shite whilst eating his corn flakes to save time in the mornings. The worst thing is that he was genuinely proud that he could get up 2 or 3 minutes later.

abouttobebanned

iphone.

Fallen Buckshot

Light some incense light up a Doob and read High Times :P in preperation for shower and shave of course .. ahh the 3 S's ****e shave and shower

marcjacobs

My boyfriend is really weird when it comes to that...
He likes to stay in the bathroom for hours.
In the dark, apparently it's more "relaxing"
Watching videos or listening to music on his iphone.
Whenever he goes at work, he talks to me on facebook chat (groooossss aha)
Playing guitar AND singing.
Brings the laptop and watch the football game when it's on.

He used to eat fudge/popsicles in the shower and leave the sticks around.. but that's another topic.
:rolleyes:

Silverfish

iPhone. It's changed the way I poop.

SugarHigh

Some amazing stories being shared in this thread.

Gi joe!

When inter-railing my friend sometimes ate his dinner while taking a dump.


Must give it a try some time.

speedboatchase

marcjacobs wrote: »

My boyfriend is really weird when it comes to that...
He likes to stay in the bathroom for hours.
In the dark, apparently it's more "relaxing"
Watching videos or listening to music on his iphone.
Whenever he goes at work, he talks to me on facebook chat (groooossss aha)
Playing guitar AND singing.
Brings the laptop and watch the football game when it's on.

He used to eat fudge/popsicles in the shower and leave the sticks around.. but that's another topic.
:rolleyes:

Ehh?

Fago!

Silverfish wrote: »

iPhone. It's changed the way I poop.

Yeap! The good oul I-Pood!

Cool_CM

A thread about taking a sh1t that wasn't started by FlutteringBantam?

:eek:

no1beemerfan

Jeebus....some of ye must have problems if it takes that long! I'm usually in and out in a min or two not much time to do anything else!

marcjacobs

Hahahahaha,
not really for HOURS, I might have exaggerated a little.
and he likes to turn the light off, because apparently it's more relaxing.
He showers in the dark as well ahahaha.
Oh god, he's gonna kill me when he reads this thread!

speedboatchase

Oh dear... just remembered this - dont judge:

I actually ate a full plate of pasta last week on the toilet

:cool:

Mars Bar

I delete old messages in the inbox on my phone...

Sergeant

If I feel there is the potential to be a substantial bolus, then I will use the opportunity to catch up on some reading, my current porcelain throne book of choice is The Prince by Machiavelli.

Sea Sharp

brush teeth and or shave.

dermothickey

The best thing to do IMO when having a dump is just relax

Alkers

Sit backwards AC Slater style. Involves talking off your trousers and jocks completely but it's worth it.

mp3kid

abouttobebanned wrote: »

iphone.

There's an (cr)App for that.

Scarydoll

Eating and pooing at the same time is disgusting!!!!!!!

karlog

Flumpy....................

FlutterinBantam

Cool_CM wrote: »

A thread about taking a sh1t that wasn't started by FlutteringBantam?

:eek:

Hi! :rolleyes:

I like to get down to business without too much distraction.

Usually I eat plenty of Stafford's wholemeal brown and thus,there is no 'ignition time' as it were.

Usually when I visit the cludgie, and cover the claypit, there is a round in the breech and ready to fire.

No time for shilly shally,Ipods,lappies, newspapers,crosswords,Spangle mags,no, it's spool up the badge and unload!

Baton round usually exits the muzzle and lodges in the pan, further pressure on the firing mechanism clears the magazine of any buckshot remaining.

Remove any clag or spent round from the muzzle, and dispose of the live spoil.

That's it, no fcuking around, no jiggy jiggy, no messing, fire and forget!!

Giselle

speedboatchase wrote: »

Oh dear... just remembered this - dont judge:

I actually ate a full plate of pasta last week on the toilet

:cool:

And an unhealthy amount of e-coli spores were ingested along with the pasta.

Yeeuuuccch.:(

Marty McFly

Got sick in the sink at the same time as dropping the kids off.

Ah the wonders of a hangover.

degausserxo

Simona1986 wrote: »

Sit backwards AC Slater style. Involves talking off your trousers and jocks completely but it's worth it.

I'm actually impressed.

Frick.

PaddyBomb

Snake on my 3210!

Oh wait this isn't 2001 anymore

Overature

was just about to say that, tis a genius idea

Simona1986 wrote: »

Sit backwards AC Slater style. Involves talking off your trousers and jocks completely but it's worth it.

speedboatchase

Giselle wrote: »

And an unhealthy amount of e-coli spores were ingested along with the pasta.

Yeeuuuccch.:(

Germs are a myth

yoshytoshy

When I send a friend to sea ,I have three books that are always at hand.

Elephants on acid ,F in exams and overheard in Dublin.

I find exerts from these books ease the passage.

SoulTrader

If I'm not reading my laptop, I'm cutting my fingernails or toenails. Could never manage a shave when I'm on the throne, sounds like an accident waiting to happen :eek:

quicklickpaddy

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

That's it, no fcuking around, no jiggy jiggy, no messing, fire and forget!!

Lies. I'm pretty sure you remember everyone of them just in case it could be relevant to a conversation or thread.

I read Clarkson articles. Got a book of them. I'd usually read. Got in a bit of trouble once when I called my ex when I was on for the long haul.

allthedoyles

play games on my mobile

TPD

Flick through the guinness world records book. Some cnut moved it though, been at a loss my last few shíts.

gamgsam

I'm taking a dump at the moment! Usually study, but I took 2 minutes of to read boards

Think of me pooing while ye read this

Saadyst

I just do what needs to be done and get on my way. I must be old fashioned that way

quicklickpaddy

Fart.

Hazys

Frap














*not really what would be the most disgusting thing of all time

Ann22

luvbulmers01 wrote: »

Got sick in the sink at the same time as dropping the kids off.

Ah the wonders of a hangover.

I did that once with a serious hangover once...think I was poisoned:(..my body was ejecting matter from every orifface. The awkward angle my head was at meant I couldn't wretch without making a repetitive loud quare noise. I was like something out of Jurassic park....My frightened family stood outside the door on the landing staring at each other in silent unspoken fear.

McChubbin

Gi joe! wrote: »

When inter-railing my friend sometimes ate his dinner while taking a dump.


Must give it a try some time.

In one end and out the other! :pac:

I tend to alternate between reading the paper or become lost in thought.

roryc1

I poogle stuff on my laptop.

FruitLover

I don't understand anyone who takes longer than 4 minutes to take a dump. Eat more weetabix!

spender.j

I used to read entire books, (I'm a fast reader):D

elchupanebrey

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Hi! :rolleyes:

I like to get down to business without too much distraction.

Usually I eat plenty of Stafford's wholemeal brown and thus,there is no 'ignition time' as it were.

Usually when I visit the cludgie, and cover the claypit, there is a round in the breech and ready to fire.

No time for shilly shally,Ipods,lappies, newspapers,crosswords,Spangle mags,no, it's spool up the badge and unload!

Baton round usually exits the muzzle and lodges in the pan, further pressure on the firing mechanism clears the magazine of any buckshot remaining.

Remove any clag or spent round from the muzzle, and dispose of the live spoil.

That's it, no fcuking around, no jiggy jiggy, no messing, fire and forget!!

Nice