RIP when someone dies...

Little My · 30-04-2010 04:33PM #1

Why do people post RIP?

If you don't post RIP... is it assumed you hope the person does not "rest in peace" and instead ends up tormented for all eternity in hell?

Why do people say 'Condolences to the family'?

Surely, if they wanted to send condolences to the family, they would. Do you think the family is going to come on boards to see how many people have offered their condolences?

When people say 'my thoughts and prayers with the family'?

Do people actually pray for the dead person, or the family, or do they just think that if they say 'in my thoughts and prayers' that it means something?

If you are going to pray for someone or a family, why do you need to notify everyone on boards? Or if you want someone to Rest in Peace, again does it make it more likely if you post it on a public forum? And if you want to send condolences to the family - why on earth would boards.ie be a suitable conduit?

Hank Scorpio · 30-04-2010 04:34PM

Well,

Its better than insulting them.

Dudess · 30-04-2010 04:35PM

I love "little ****ing drug-taking scumbag - deserved everything he got, I've no sympathy for him... oh but my heart goes out to his poor family.

"

deelite · 30-04-2010 04:36PM

I was always amazed that when somebody dies beautiful flowers are left on graves (I'm talking loads and loads of them). I was at a funeral in the UK recently and the flowers were given to the family and only some of them were placed on the grave itself.

papajimsmooth · 30-04-2010 04:36PM

There all afraid of him returning as a zombie

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 30-04-2010 04:37PM

You don't have to write RIP, but it's considered to be respectful and is an accepted phrase to use when showing you're condolences.

People want to express their care. They don't have to physically do anything, because that would be more than a hinderence to the family. Either way, you think most people would read the cards? Not all of them anyway.

If you say you're thougts are with the family, then obviously they are. I doubt everyone prays when they say they do, but it could also be more of an expression than anything.

Why do we need to notify anybody about anything ever? Mankind is expressive, it's just how it is.

Hogzy · 30-04-2010 04:38PM

Little My wrote: »

Do you think the family is going to come on boards to see how many people have offered their condolences?

Yes, it wouldnt surprise me at all if they were on boards. It has happened alot over the years where threads in relation to someones death have been viewed by family member and family members find it very touching that people who never met someone would have that person in their thoughts. Also its just a matter of respect!!!

And if you look at the Gerry Ryan thread you will see that a hell of a lot of people have no respect for the death of someone. It doesnt harm anyone to post an RIP!

ashyle · 30-04-2010 04:39PM

it's called decency?
Obviously whether you say RIP or not makes no difference but it's one of those reciprocal things where it makes the giver feel better too.

phasers · 30-04-2010 04:40PM

How exactly would you send condolences to the family?

People are just paying their respects. Which you know full well. Stop trying to be edgy, it's embarassing.

Gran Hermano · 30-04-2010 04:42PM

Really just
Increasing their
Postcount

Biggins · 30-04-2010 04:43PM

Its about showing that despite (if any) differences, we all can understand or know the feeling of loss and pain.
That we with one voice, with a simple phrase, say "at these sad times - we understand/know and sympathise."

Its the least we can do if we have any decency in us.

ashyle · 30-04-2010 04:48PM

I never like to say or hear 'I understand...' I think that's a presumptuous thing to say.

--LOS-- · 30-04-2010 04:49PM

I don't know, it makes for a very boring thread though; RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP................

Einhard · 30-04-2010 04:49PM

Little My wrote: »

Why do people post RIP?

If you don't post RIP... is it assumed you hope the person does not "rest in peace" and instead ends up tormented for all eternity in hell?

Yup, that's exactly it. Because I know God reads boards, and that access to Heaven is based exclusively on wheter I decide to post RIP or not. So be nice to me...

Also, "condolences" is a traditional mark of respect and solidarity regardless of whether anyone connected to the deceased reads it. And it's useful to people, like me, who don't actually believe in an afterlife.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 30-04-2010 04:51PM

ashyle wrote: »

I never like to say or hear 'I understand...' I think that's a presumptuous thing to say.

Even if you actually understand? If you understand something, you understand it. Further more, you may empathise with the person.

Biggins · 30-04-2010 04:51PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

I don't know, it makes for a very boring thread though; RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP................

..then don't re-enter the thread then.
Its not rocket science to work that action out!

knird evol · 30-04-2010 04:56PM

Little My wrote: »

Why do people post RIP?

Manners are the Glue of Society Little My.
If you don't want to be part of society, why don't you get in
your car and move on out to Tallaght.

gbee · 30-04-2010 04:57PM

I tend to agree with the OP's sentiments somewhat.

It does irk me a little when people are platitudinously gratuitous after a death has been announced ...

I think you know ... "I hate that fellow, what'shisname ...!" Death of said person "RIP he was a grand fellow, will miss him a lot .... etc!"

I think, above all the recently dead would like honesty.

ashyle · 30-04-2010 04:59PM

Emmitt Many Ray wrote: »

Even if you actually understand? If you understand something, you understand it. Further more, you may empathise with the person.

Empathising is one thing, but grief is such an individual process there's no way anyone can understand your personal pain and what the dead person meant to you.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 30-04-2010 05:01PM

Some people are so bloody cynical

He has 5 kids, all of whom I assume are technologically savvy, I would assume that at least one of them would come across these threads and I can't imagine how hurtful it would be in an already difficult time to read disparaging remarks about their late father

Cynics, they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

ashyle · 30-04-2010 05:01PM

knird evol wrote: »

Manners are the Glue of Society Little My.
If you don't want to be part of society, why don't you get in
your car and move on out to Tallaght.

?

Manners indeed.:rolleyes:

Spiritoftheseventies · 30-04-2010 05:02PM

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Really just
Increasing their
Postcount

Or maybe just paying their respects.

stovelid · 30-04-2010 05:07PM

Spiritoftheseventies wrote: »

Or maybe just paying their respects.

I can't see an RIP acronym in there?

evercloserunion · 30-04-2010 05:15PM

It's called common decency, trust someone on the internets to take exception to it.

Abi · 30-04-2010 05:15PM

If I haven't anything nice to say, I don't say anything at all. If I'm indifferent, I say nothing at all. I'll post only if I admired the person the RIP thread is about. I don't care whether it makes me sound callous or not, but at least I can say I'm not a hypocrite.

Einhard · 30-04-2010 05:15PM

gbee wrote: »

I tend to agree with the OP's sentiments somewhat.

It does irk me a little when people are platitudinously gratuitous after a death has been announced ...

I think you know ... "I hate that fellow, what'shisname ...!" Death of said person "RIP he was a grand fellow, will miss him a lot .... etc!"

I think, above all the recently dead would like honesty.

Isn't "sorry for your loss" or "condolences to the family" honest though? I mean, no matter what you thought of the deceased, you can still genuinely acknowledge the grief that his kin are going through because of his death.

Latchy · 30-04-2010 05:38PM

People show and express their grief in different ways ,some dont express any at all .

A simple RIP cost nothing were as a rant about the deceased can and does cause offence pain and hurt to somebody .

Drumpot · 30-04-2010 05:52PM

When it comes to the death of a person, it takes more effort to be rude then it does to be nice . .

Why did I post RIP ? Because for that moment my thoughts were with the deceased and their family and I wanted to express my sentiments . .

What anybody thinks of the man is irrelevant. There is nothing wrong with people wanting to pay respect to a person in their own way.

Maybe the OP just doesn't understand the concept of respect and Empathy . .

Bodhisopha · 30-04-2010 05:57PM

Brayden Howling Pajamas wrote: »

Some people are so bloody cynical

He has 5 kids, all of whom I assume are technologically savvy, I would assume that at least one of them would come across these threads and I can't imagine how hurtful it would be in an already difficult time to read disparaging remarks about their late father

Cynics, they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

You really think his family or close friends will trawl through god knows how many pages of a thread dedicated to him on www.boards.ie to see what anonymous posters had to say? Despite the fact that they will bogged down with far more condolonces and tributes than you or i could ever hope to receieve?

Nah, i don't see it. Get over yourselves www.boards.ie

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 30-04-2010 06:01PM

Is it inconceivable?
It has been mentioned in the other thread that his oldest son is a registered user

Little My · 30-04-2010 06:03PM

I have no problem understanding or expressing decency, respect or empathy. Do I have a lack of respect for the person who died because I didn't add RIP? Off course not, hundreds will read the thread and not post anything.

But posting RIP and saying you will pray for the family (and you probably wont) on an anonymous internet forum is virtually meaningless.

If you want to show give your condolences to the family send them a mass card or go sign one of the condolence books that will no doubt be opened up.

And, if boards is the correct forum for this...

Why do we not open a new thread everytime someone dies so we can all say RIP? Do non-famous people not matter?

I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy for everyone who dies.

RIP when someone dies...

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