RIP when someone dies...

Little My

Why do people post RIP?

If you don't post RIP... is it assumed you hope the person does not "rest in peace" and instead ends up tormented for all eternity in hell?

Why do people say 'Condolences to the family'?

Surely, if they wanted to send condolences to the family, they would. Do you think the family is going to come on boards to see how many people have offered their condolences?

When people say 'my thoughts and prayers with the family'?

Do people actually pray for the dead person, or the family, or do they just think that if they say 'in my thoughts and prayers' that it means something?

If you are going to pray for someone or a family, why do you need to notify everyone on boards? Or if you want someone to Rest in Peace, again does it make it more likely if you post it on a public forum? And if you want to send condolences to the family - why on earth would boards.ie be a suitable conduit?

Hank Scorpio

Well,

Its better than insulting them.

Dudess

I love "little ****ing drug-taking scumbag - deserved everything he got, I've no sympathy for him... oh but my heart goes out to his poor family. "

deelite

I was always amazed that when somebody dies beautiful flowers are left on graves (I'm talking loads and loads of them). I was at a funeral in the UK recently and the flowers were given to the family and only some of them were placed on the grave itself.

papajimsmooth

There all afraid of him returning as a zombie

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

You don't have to write RIP, but it's considered to be respectful and is an accepted phrase to use when showing you're condolences.

People want to express their care. They don't have to physically do anything, because that would be more than a hinderence to the family. Either way, you think most people would read the cards? Not all of them anyway.

If you say you're thougts are with the family, then obviously they are. I doubt everyone prays when they say they do, but it could also be more of an expression than anything.


Why do we need to notify anybody about anything ever? Mankind is expressive, it's just how it is.

Hogzy

Little My wrote: »

Do you think the family is going to come on boards to see how many people have offered their condolences?

Yes, it wouldnt surprise me at all if they were on boards. It has happened alot over the years where threads in relation to someones death have been viewed by family member and family members find it very touching that people who never met someone would have that person in their thoughts. Also its just a matter of respect!!!

And if you look at the Gerry Ryan thread you will see that a hell of a lot of people have no respect for the death of someone. It doesnt harm anyone to post an RIP!

ashyle

it's called decency?
Obviously whether you say RIP or not makes no difference but it's one of those reciprocal things where it makes the giver feel better too.

phasers

How exactly would you send condolences to the family?

People are just paying their respects. Which you know full well. Stop trying to be edgy, it's embarassing.

Gran Hermano

Really just
Increasing their
Postcount

Biggins

Its about showing that despite (if any) differences, we all can understand or know the feeling of loss and pain.
That we with one voice, with a simple phrase, say "at these sad times - we understand/know and sympathise."

Its the least we can do if we have any decency in us.

ashyle

I never like to say or hear 'I understand...' I think that's a presumptuous thing to say.

--LOS--

I don't know, it makes for a very boring thread though; RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP................

Einhard

Little My wrote: »

Why do people post RIP?

If you don't post RIP... is it assumed you hope the person does not "rest in peace" and instead ends up tormented for all eternity in hell?

Yup, that's exactly it. Because I know God reads boards, and that access to Heaven is based exclusively on wheter I decide to post RIP or not. So be nice to me...

Also, "condolences" is a traditional mark of respect and solidarity regardless of whether anyone connected to the deceased reads it. And it's useful to people, like me, who don't actually believe in an afterlife.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

ashyle wrote: »

I never like to say or hear 'I understand...' I think that's a presumptuous thing to say.

Even if you actually understand? If you understand something, you understand it. Further more, you may empathise with the person.

Biggins

--LOS-- wrote: »

I don't know, it makes for a very boring thread though; RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP................

..then don't re-enter the thread then.
Its not rocket science to work that action out!

knird evol

Little My wrote: »

Why do people post RIP?

Manners are the Glue of Society Little My.
If you don't want to be part of society, why don't you get in
your car and move on out to Tallaght.

gbee

I tend to agree with the OP's sentiments somewhat.

It does irk me a little when people are platitudinously gratuitous after a death has been announced ...

I think you know ... "I hate that fellow, what'shisname ...!" Death of said person "RIP he was a grand fellow, will miss him a lot .... etc!"

I think, above all the recently dead would like honesty.

ashyle

Emmitt Many Ray wrote: »

Even if you actually understand? If you understand something, you understand it. Further more, you may empathise with the person.

Empathising is one thing, but grief is such an individual process there's no way anyone can understand your personal pain and what the dead person meant to you.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Some people are so bloody cynical

He has 5 kids, all of whom I assume are technologically savvy, I would assume that at least one of them would come across these threads and I can't imagine how hurtful it would be in an already difficult time to read disparaging remarks about their late father

Cynics, they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

ashyle

knird evol wrote: »

Manners are the Glue of Society Little My.
If you don't want to be part of society, why don't you get in
your car and move on out to Tallaght.

?


Manners indeed.:rolleyes:

Spiritoftheseventies

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Really just
Increasing their
Postcount

Or maybe just paying their respects.

stovelid

Spiritoftheseventies wrote: »

Or maybe just paying their respects.

I can't see an RIP acronym in there?

evercloserunion

It's called common decency, trust someone on the internets to take exception to it.

Abi

If I haven't anything nice to say, I don't say anything at all. If I'm indifferent, I say nothing at all. I'll post only if I admired the person the RIP thread is about. I don't care whether it makes me sound callous or not, but at least I can say I'm not a hypocrite.

Einhard

gbee wrote: »

I tend to agree with the OP's sentiments somewhat.

It does irk me a little when people are platitudinously gratuitous after a death has been announced ...

I think you know ... "I hate that fellow, what'shisname ...!" Death of said person "RIP he was a grand fellow, will miss him a lot .... etc!"

I think, above all the recently dead would like honesty.

Isn't "sorry for your loss" or "condolences to the family" honest though? I mean, no matter what you thought of the deceased, you can still genuinely acknowledge the grief that his kin are going through because of his death.

Latchy

People show and express their grief in different ways ,some dont express any at all .

A simple RIP cost nothing were as a rant about the deceased can and does cause offence pain and hurt to somebody .

Drumpot

When it comes to the death of a person, it takes more effort to be rude then it does to be nice . .

Why did I post RIP ? Because for that moment my thoughts were with the deceased and their family and I wanted to express my sentiments . .

What anybody thinks of the man is irrelevant. There is nothing wrong with people wanting to pay respect to a person in their own way.

Maybe the OP just doesn't understand the concept of respect and Empathy . .

Bodhisopha

Brayden Howling Pajamas wrote: »

Some people are so bloody cynical

He has 5 kids, all of whom I assume are technologically savvy, I would assume that at least one of them would come across these threads and I can't imagine how hurtful it would be in an already difficult time to read disparaging remarks about their late father

Cynics, they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

You really think his family or close friends will trawl through god knows how many pages of a thread dedicated to him on www.boards.ie to see what anonymous posters had to say? Despite the fact that they will bogged down with far more condolonces and tributes than you or i could ever hope to receieve?

Nah, i don't see it. Get over yourselves www.boards.ie

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Is it inconceivable?
It has been mentioned in the other thread that his oldest son is a registered user

Little My

I have no problem understanding or expressing decency, respect or empathy. Do I have a lack of respect for the person who died because I didn't add RIP? Off course not, hundreds will read the thread and not post anything.

But posting RIP and saying you will pray for the family (and you probably wont) on an anonymous internet forum is virtually meaningless.

If you want to show give your condolences to the family send them a mass card or go sign one of the condolence books that will no doubt be opened up.

And, if boards is the correct forum for this...

Why do we not open a new thread everytime someone dies so we can all say RIP? Do non-famous people not matter?

I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy for everyone who dies.

phasers

Little My wrote: »

I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy when someone dies.

Yeah, demanding doesn't really go down well here...

rovert

To drown out the dunderheads making silly, irrational points about why are we mourning x etc

Bodhisopha

Brayden Howling Pajamas wrote: »

Is it inconceivable?
It has been mentioned in the other thread that his oldest son is a registered user

Not inconceivable but if i was him i'd expect a few distasteful comments and as such would just stay away.

Little My

Actually, the church should conduct all ceremonies through boards.ie so we can all attend, post comments and convey our condolences, congratulations as neccessary. Because things that are said on boards matter!!

Biggins

Little My wrote: »

...I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy for everyone who dies.

You can request and those that run the forum will hear you out probably.
"Demanding" I suspect will not go down too well at all.

Pyr0

Biggins wrote: »

You can request and those that run the forum will hear you out probably.
"Demanding" I suspect will not go down too well at all.

I think someone is missing the sarcasm.. :pac:

evercloserunion

Little My wrote: »

I have no problem understanding or expressing decency, respect or empathy. Do I have a lack of respect for the person who died because I didn't add RIP? Off course not, hundreds will read the thread and not post anything.

But posting RIP and saying you will pray for the family (and you probably wont) on an anonymous internet forum is virtually meaningless.

If you want to show give your condolences to the family send them a mass card or go sign one of the condolence books that will no doubt be opened up.

And, if boards is the correct forum for this...

Why do we not open a new thread everytime someone dies so we can all say RIP? Do non-famous people not matter?

I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy for everyone who dies.

You are one serious whinger.

Drumpot

Little My wrote: »

I have no problem understanding or expressing decency, respect or empathy. Do I have a lack of respect for the person who died because I didn't add RIP? Off course not, hundreds will read the thread and not post anything.

But posting RIP and saying you will pray for the family (and you probably wont) on an anonymous internet forum is virtually meaningless.

If you want to show give your condolences to the family send them a mass card or go sign one of the condolence books that will no doubt be opened up.

And, if boards is the correct forum for this...

Why do we not open a new thread everytime someone dies so we can all say RIP? Do non-famous people not matter?

I demand an RIP forum on boards to properly articulate our respect and empathy for everyone who dies.

I dont see why you have a problem where people offer their respects . .

There is nothing wrong with posting RIP and there is nothing wrong with posting nothing . . What is wrong is somebody taking exception to people expressing respect to a family in bereavement . . What does it matter if it is in this forum or any other or every forum ? Is After hours too good for RIP's?

Less said easily mended is my motto . . Or alternatively, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing, that saying might not apply to everything, but this is one subject that it should certainly apply . . I just think when it comes to the death of a person, any respects paid are positive and justified.

Teferi

Little My wrote: »

But posting RIP and saying you will pray for the family (and you probably wont) on an anonymous internet forum is virtually meaningless.

If you want to show give your condolences to the family send them a mass card or go sign one of the condolence books that will no doubt be opened up.

Posting about your fear of dogs is virtually meaningless...

hotmail.com

Little My wrote: »

Why do people post RIP?

If you don't post RIP... is it assumed you hope the person does not "rest in peace" and instead ends up tormented for all eternity in hell?

Why do people say 'Condolences to the family'?

Surely, if they wanted to send condolences to the family, they would. Do you think the family is going to come on boards to see how many people have offered their condolences?

When people say 'my thoughts and prayers with the family'?

Do people actually pray for the dead person, or the family, or do they just think that if they say 'in my thoughts and prayers' that it means something?

If you are going to pray for someone or a family, why do you need to notify everyone on boards? Or if you want someone to Rest in Peace, again does it make it more likely if you post it on a public forum? And if you want to send condolences to the family - why on earth would boards.ie be a suitable conduit?

Agreed completely. People say these things so much that they have no impact anyway.

Never understood why people wrote RIP at the end of a post, but people are sheep. They see one person writing it, so they feel like they should write it as well.

Excellent post.

Little My

Teferi wrote: »

Posting about your fear of dogs is virtually meaningless...

Oh look....

someone knows how to see my previous posts......

That is a very insightful comment. Obviously I cannot have any opinions because... I offered someone advice about having a fear of dogs?

Teferi

Little My wrote: »

Oh look....

someone knows how to see my previous posts......

That is a very insightful comment. Obviously I cannot have any opinions because... I offered someone advice about having a fear of dogs?

I was making a point. You obviously didn't understand this so I'll explain it.

Gerry Ryan (for instance...) has entertained most of us in some form over the years. I, for one, enjoyed listening to him on the way into college. My saying RIP on the internet was a way of me showing that I hope he has a good afterlife if there is such a thing. Ya know, the same way you would say it to your friends, family etc in real life.

But I forgot, you're not meant to have feelings on the internet. It's cool to be cynical :rolleyes:

Wibbs

Its just part and parcel of the way communities work. The internet just allows more people to do it and also allows more people who feel the compulsion to lash out in inopportune moments do so(few would in real life).

hotmail.com

Wibbs wrote: »

Its just part and parcel of the way communities work. The internet just allows more people to do it and also allows more people who feel the compulsion to lash out in inopportune moments do so(few would in real life).

In the conversations I had with people today about Gerry Ryan, never was RIP or my prayers and thoughts stuff mentioned. We just said it's very sad news and shocking.

For some reason, some internet folk splash out these sayings whenever a high profile person dies. They are effectively meaningless at this stage.

Wibbs

Teferi wrote: »

But I forgot, you're not meant to have feelings on the internet. It's cool to be cynical :rolleyes:

This too. Often an extension of that adolescent posturing that would generally have the edges knocked off it in real life with real people.

Though its really changing, you're also more likely to come across a particular demographic online. More men than women for a start. More young men too. This demographic is usually very bright, but often can come with fewer social skills. Boards thankfully at least has checks and balances of its own. Youtube type sites have none. As the web becomes more and more mainstream(and it still has some bit to go) sites like Boards will be the norm not the exception IMHO.

Latchy

hotmail.com wrote: »

Never understood why people wrote RIP at the end of a post, but people are sheep. They see one person writing it, so they feel like they should write it as well.

In the conversations I had with people today about Gerry Ryan, never was RIP or my prayers and thoughts stuff mentioned. We just said it's very sad news and shocking.

For some reason, some internet folk splash out these sayings whenever a high profile person dies. They are effectively meaningless at this stage.

Thanking somebody because you like or agree with their post is a quick way of expressing something without having to go into great detail .

The RIP is just a more emotional extrension of that .

The boards person who tragically died in Australia last year wasn't a celebrity and recieved many RIP quotes from fellow boards people .

Headstones with RIP on them are not put there by sheep either .

InReality

Its a part of message boards which I really fail to understand.
Esp when its a public figure , which I guess the posters have never met.
At least in discussion's your expressing your thoughts to others and will hopefully recieve some interesting comments in return.
Who will read through pages and pages of RIP's ? and why ?

pickarooney

There should be a little wreath icon beside the thumbs-up to avoid all the pointless RIP posts.

yoshytoshy

I think the RIP phrase is probably the most honest way of expressing condolence ,on the internet.

It's not condescending in that it doesn't go into detail about something important ,which would otherwise make the post irrelevant.

deadhead13

Latchy wrote: »

The boards person who tragically died in Australia last year wasn't a celebrity and recieved many RIP quotes from fellow boards people .

And members of his family contacted boards to say that they had read the condolence threads.