Mental squirrel trapped in my bathroom

A houseowner who has been tormented by a rare breed of bath squirrel has been drowned after attempting to tackle the creature. The Bath Squirrel or Sciurus carolinensis, is an unheard of breed in Europe, and experts believe somebody released the creature after finding it difficult to maintain. "These squirrels have a natural habitat in bathrooms, and have a tendency to lure unsuspecting victims in, with a running bath. With their poisoned teeth, they cause their victims to pass out, and ultimatley drown in the bath" said Professor Ian Maguire of the ISPCA. It is believed these creatures are in low existance, with figures believed to be less than 500 in the world. "Seeing one of these creatures is extremley rare, and finding one in Ireland would never have been thought possible" said Prof Maguire.
The victim, as yet unnamed, had reported the squirrel on Tuesday evening, after finding it trapped in his bathroom. It is believed the victim went in to remove the squirrel, after instructions he received on a popular bulletin discussion site. It is thought that the squirrel attacked the victim and subsequently passed out from the poison. Neighbours were alerted after they noticed a large amount of smoke emitting from the house, and a strong smell of hazelnuts. Authorities say that the squirrel has subsequently been captured. The victim is survived by his cat Punk.