Mental squirrel trapped in my bathroom

donfers

I went in there this morning and the little fecker had a little nip at my feet, lookily although fairly sleepy I managed to dart twinkle-toed out of there. Initially I thought it was a rat but then i went into the back garden and peered in through the bathroom window and it's a madlooking little grey squirrel running around the bathroom looking nasty. I've left the bathroom door open hoping he'll leave but I think he thinks it's a trap. Maybe it was the conspicious trail of hazelnuts that gave me away, anyway he's not playing ball and refuses to leave manically guarding his new home. I'm not sure what attracted him to the bathroom in the first place but I've had cross words with the missus about her hazelnut scented shampoo being the possible cause. So now the girlfriend isn't talking to me, there's a psycho squirrel in my bathroom and I am in desperate need of a leak....advice needed please

mikom

That's nuts..........

Kiera

I smell a rat!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I think I saw this on a sitcom once. Might have been Malcolm in the Middle. Can't remember what happened...

Dudess

He's probably locked out of his tree and looking for somewhere else to crash...

MaybeLogic

Call Dom Joly around.

Ruu_Old

He has clearly won and claimed his territory. I suggest you pack up and leave as soon as possible.

Kasabian

Piss in the garden or develop a pair of nuts and confront the big bad squirrel

Zombienosh

donfers wrote: »

....advice needed please

http://bikernw.com/portals/1/dans_squirrel.jpg

NothingMan

Have you tried excessive amounts of dangerous explosives?

antodeco

Make a noise like a hazelnut and he will follow you out!

MaybeLogic

"Donfer's jumping, bass is pumping
Look at the squirrel and your heart starts thumping
Says she wants to dance to a different groove
Now you know what to do Donfers, just bust a nut"

Griffen262

Shoot him.

kleefarr

See if you can (and dare) get in there and open the window and leave it open for a while. He'll probably go out that way as that is probably the way he got in.

Good luck.

Daemos

Run into the bathroom with a blanket or something to make yourself as big as possible and try to scare him out the window

Or piss through the door to mark your territory. Squirrels are the same as cats, right?

Zombienosh

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I think I saw this on a sitcom once. Might have been Malcolm in the Middle. Can't remember what happened...

From paper awhile ago,

BADGER'S 3HR "WAR" ON FAMILY

A family were trapped in their home for nearly three hours - besieged by a crazed BADGER.
The animal chased Luke McCoy, 12, and four pals to his house after spotting them getting off the school bus.
Then it waited outside the front door and refused to budge.
Luke's mum Rosalind and dad Michael - both 43 - were also inside.
Michael said yesterday: ¡" realise we had a problem when it tried to force it's way through the locked cat flap.
It was scraping at the flap with its claws and trying to push it open with its snout".
Racehorse breeding consultant Michael called police in Bewdley, Worcs.
They put him in contact with expert Mike Weaver who took the mammal to his sanctuary.
Rosalind said: "The badger had watched us thought the patio window. It was vicious when the expert caught it".
The animal has been put down on vets' advice.

Overheal

SQUIRREL!

jill_valentine

OP should consult that thread about Adverse Possession. Mental Squirrel could have a claim if he's painted the bathroom.

SadieSue

Throw a towel over it and grab it and put it out the window!
Or you could call the DSPCA or something.

jill_valentine

Right from the title, this thread was a winner but this:

antodeco wrote: »

Make a noise like a hazelnut and he will follow you out!

This is just exceptional.

Jumpy

Squirrel grip it.

Scroll down to may 2008

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/the-turbulent-times-of-troy-buswell-20100426-tn3v.html

Töpher

And weeeeeee!

SadieSue

Awe I'm sure its very cute!

ejmaztec

lonad wrote: »

Piss in the garden or develop a pair of nuts and confront the big bad squirrel

If you change your name to Gonad, or even Gonads, your advice may be taken more seriously.

AnonoBoy

I want to hear the squirrel's side of the story.

Sling a keyboard in there to him so he can post.

Kess73

Get some pics up.:) Should be easy to get some.

jill_valentine

Anonoboy might be on to something. Throw in a mobile phone and ask him his demands.

ejmaztec

The house could have been built on top of an ancient squirrel sacred burial ground, in which the OP's screwed. There may be just enough time to sell the film rights.

donfers

I'm thinking of sending my cat "punk" in there but he's a lazy moggy at the best of times and hasn't much of a weight advantage over the squirrel in any case. I also don't want the bathroom to become an animal battlefield although I am slightly tempted to open a book on who'd win the contest

punk -2/1

crazed squirrel - 4/5

no contest/one of them scrams - evens

lay down your money now folks

Overheal

We need Pictures of the Offending Squirrel.

ejmaztec

Overheal wrote: »

We need Pictures of the Offending Squirrel.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I2uQkGxIykM/SiJ2N89OvsI/AAAAAAAAErY/hB1w0AWnZL0/s400/insanity+su.jpg


:eek:

donfers

Overheal wrote: »

We need Pictures of the Offending Squirrel.

that would require two things

1) me entering his domain

2) him not rushing around the place like he's pacman on steroids

neither unfortunately are likely to happen for the forseeable

PapaQuebec

I hope he doesn't claim asylum in there.... .... you'll never get him out!!

donfers

PapaQuebec wrote: »

I hope he doesn't claim asylum in there.... .... you'll never get him out!!

asylum mate!!!! he's far beyond that, I just went to collect my post and there's a claim for rent supplement and jobseekers allowance from him

PapaQuebec

Well at least he's a grey squirrel and not a black rat. You'd have RAR on your case then!

Best thread title ever

jd007

Show him your nuts!

Georgina012

haha brilliant

Overheal

donfers wrote: »

that would require two things

1) me entering his domain

2) him not rushing around the place like he's pacman on steroids

neither unfortunately are likely to happen for the forseeable

Hey man, its your call. You can wuss out like a timid animal, and we'll know you were bested by a fluffy-tailed rodent that measures a whopping 18cm when standing on its hind legs and has an inkling for cheetohs.

Or, you can get your ass in there, show that squirrel who is boss, and become a Legend of the Boards with your mighty pictures of glory and conquest. I'm also pretty sure the misses will be significantly intrigued by your chivalrous deeds resulting in some kind of reward that Mario would have only dreamed of when he rescued the Princess by jumping through fire and defeating Roid-enhanced death-tortoises.

You know what to do.

seanbmc

Pics? :pac:

Kirnsy

Throw in the GF to appease the squirrel....she smells of hazelnut apparently and lets face it, her life will be made worthwhile as a sacrifice

Ciaran187

Smoke. Squirells will run away because they think the forest is on fire. Get a bowl or bucket, fill it with paper, set it alight and throw some damp moss or damp leaves on it to create smoke for a good signal fire (according to bear grylls).

NothingMan

Overheal wrote: »

the misses will be significantly intrigued by your chivalrous deeds resulting in some kind of reward that Mario would have only dreamed of when he rescued the Princess by jumping through fire and defeating Roid-enhanced death-tortoises.

Reminded me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzEZ-sXAXL4

My name is URL

AlcoholicA wrote: »

From paper awhile ago,

BADGER'S 3HR "WAR" ON FAMILY

A family were trapped in their home for nearly three hours - besieged by a crazed BADGER

I hate when that happens

Leftyflip

Reminds me of that badger thread from a while ago, anyone else remember that?

Noreen1

If it were me, I'd put on a jacket, walk in (slowly, so the squirrel has time to avoid me), and open the window.
But, maybe that's just me - I have a knack with animals anyway, or so I'm told.:D

If you're scared of the squirrel, or you think it may be carrying some disease, the the ISPCA would probably remove it. It's your call.

Frankly, the squirrel sounds more terrified than dangerous.

Noreen

CreepingDeath

Run a bubble bath and light some scented candles for the squirrel then leave it for 30 minutes. Should've calmed down by then.

pipelaser

Ya just gotta win the tussle with him and then use a cheese grater.

Result:

Kess73

donfers wrote: »

that would require two things

1) me entering his domain

2) him not rushing around the place like he's pacman on steroids

neither unfortunately are likely to happen for the forseeable

Or you could go outside and look in through the window like you said you did earlier, and take a picture through the window.

Easy peasy.

leincar

donfers wrote: »

I went in there this morning and the little fecker had a little nip at my feet, lookily although fairly sleepy I managed to dart twinkle-toed out of there. Initially I thought it was a rat but then i went into the back garden and peered in through the bathroom window and it's a madlooking little grey squirrel running around the bathroom looking nasty. I've left the bathroom door open hoping he'll leave but I think he thinks it's a trap. Maybe it was the conspicious trail of hazelnuts that gave me away, anyway he's not playing ball and refuses to leave manically guarding his new home. I'm not sure what attracted him to the bathroom in the first place but I've had cross words with the missus about her hazelnut scented shampoo being the possible cause. So now the girlfriend isn't talking to me, there's a psycho squirrel in my bathroom and I am in desperate need of a leak....advice needed please

For God's sake shut the bathroom door. If it gets anywhere else in the house it will destroy it. I've had Racoons, Squirrels and a skunk in my house in the States at one stage or another. Somebody already mentioned a towel. Use two bath size towels and gloves. They can be vicious little bastards. If you don't want to touch it yourself use your cat. You wont see the Squirrel for the skid marks. Do it soon they will tear through the fabric of your house in jig time.

PK2008

Fire.... and lots of it

Actually reminds me of a story my mate told me. He and his GF went down the country to a B&B for a weekend and they were getting ready to go out for a few drinks, anyway she left the room for a few minutes and he jumped in the shower. Just as he was starting to wash himself a big a55 crow flew in the window. He had soap in his eyes and couldnt really see what was happening but the bird started absolutely freakiing out- real loud squaks, bouncing itself off the mirror and windows and 5hitting everywhere. He paniced, jumped out of the shower and ran naked into the bedroom all the time his eyes stinging him. the bird followed him and contiued to freak out, bounce off everything in the room and 5hit all over the place. He reckoned the bird either had a heart attack or 5hit itself to death cos it finally dropped onto its back on the bed, dead. My mate sat down on the bed rubbing his bloodshot eyes when his GF walked back in to see him sitting naked on the bed, shampoo and soap all over him, big red eyes, feathers everywhere, the place ruined in bird 5hit and a big dead crow lying on the bed. He said it was almost worth it for the look on her face.