Mental squirrel trapped in my bathroom

donfers · 27-04-2010 05:03PM #1

I went in there this morning and the little fecker had a little nip at my feet, lookily although fairly sleepy I managed to dart twinkle-toed out of there. Initially I thought it was a rat but then i went into the back garden and peered in through the bathroom window and it's a madlooking little grey squirrel running around the bathroom looking nasty. I've left the bathroom door open hoping he'll leave but I think he thinks it's a trap. Maybe it was the conspicious trail of hazelnuts that gave me away, anyway he's not playing ball and refuses to leave manically guarding his new home. I'm not sure what attracted him to the bathroom in the first place but I've had cross words with the missus about her hazelnut scented shampoo being the possible cause. So now the girlfriend isn't talking to me, there's a psycho squirrel in my bathroom and I am in desperate need of a leak....advice needed please

mikom · 27-04-2010 05:04PM

That's nuts..........

Kiera · 27-04-2010 05:05PM

I smell a rat!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 27-04-2010 05:05PM

I think I saw this on a sitcom once. Might have been Malcolm in the Middle. Can't remember what happened...

Dudess · 27-04-2010 05:06PM

He's probably locked out of his tree and looking for somewhere else to crash...

MaybeLogic · 27-04-2010 05:06PM

Call Dom Joly around.

Ruu_Old · 27-04-2010 05:06PM

He has clearly won and claimed his territory. I suggest you pack up and leave as soon as possible.

Kasabian · 27-04-2010 05:06PM

Piss in the garden or develop a pair of nuts and confront the big bad squirrel

Zombienosh · 27-04-2010 05:08PM

donfers wrote: »

....advice needed please

http://bikernw.com/portals/1/dans_squirrel.jpg

NothingMan · 27-04-2010 05:08PM

Have you tried excessive amounts of dangerous explosives?

antodeco · 27-04-2010 05:08PM

Make a noise like a hazelnut and he will follow you out!

MaybeLogic · 27-04-2010 05:09PM

"Donfer's jumping, bass is pumping
Look at the squirrel and your heart starts thumping
Says she wants to dance to a different groove
Now you know what to do Donfers, just bust a nut"

Griffen262 · 27-04-2010 05:09PM

Shoot him.

kleefarr · 27-04-2010 05:10PM

See if you can (and dare) get in there and open the window and leave it open for a while. He'll probably go out that way as that is probably the way he got in.

Good luck.

Daemos · 27-04-2010 05:10PM

Run into the bathroom with a blanket or something to make yourself as big as possible and try to scare him out the window

Or piss through the door to mark your territory. Squirrels are the same as cats, right?

Zombienosh · 27-04-2010 05:11PM

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I think I saw this on a sitcom once. Might have been Malcolm in the Middle. Can't remember what happened...

From paper awhile ago,

BADGER'S 3HR "WAR" ON FAMILY

A family were trapped in their home for nearly three hours - besieged by a crazed BADGER.
The animal chased Luke McCoy, 12, and four pals to his house after spotting them getting off the school bus.
Then it waited outside the front door and refused to budge.
Luke's mum Rosalind and dad Michael - both 43 - were also inside.
Michael said yesterday: ¡" realise we had a problem when it tried to force it's way through the locked cat flap.
It was scraping at the flap with its claws and trying to push it open with its snout".
Racehorse breeding consultant Michael called police in Bewdley, Worcs.
They put him in contact with expert Mike Weaver who took the mammal to his sanctuary.
Rosalind said: "The badger had watched us thought the patio window. It was vicious when the expert caught it".
The animal has been put down on vets' advice.

Overheal · 27-04-2010 05:11PM

SQUIRREL!

jill_valentine · 27-04-2010 05:12PM

OP should consult that thread about Adverse Possession. Mental Squirrel could have a claim if he's painted the bathroom.

SadieSue · 27-04-2010 05:13PM

Throw a towel over it and grab it and put it out the window!
Or you could call the DSPCA or something.

jill_valentine · 27-04-2010 05:13PM

Right from the title, this thread was a winner but this:

antodeco wrote: »

Make a noise like a hazelnut and he will follow you out!

This is just exceptional.

Jumpy · 27-04-2010 05:14PM

Squirrel grip it.

Scroll down to may 2008

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/the-turbulent-times-of-troy-buswell-20100426-tn3v.html

Töpher · 27-04-2010 05:15PM

And weeeeeee!

SadieSue · 27-04-2010 05:15PM

Awe I'm sure its very cute!

ejmaztec · 27-04-2010 05:17PM

lonad wrote: »

Piss in the garden or develop a pair of nuts and confront the big bad squirrel

If you change your name to Gonad, or even Gonads, your advice may be taken more seriously.

AnonoBoy · 27-04-2010 05:17PM

I want to hear the squirrel's side of the story.

Sling a keyboard in there to him so he can post.

Kess73 · 27-04-2010 05:18PM

Get some pics up.:) Should be easy to get some.

jill_valentine · 27-04-2010 05:18PM

Anonoboy might be on to something. Throw in a mobile phone and ask him his demands.

ejmaztec · 27-04-2010 05:28PM

The house could have been built on top of an ancient squirrel sacred burial ground, in which the OP's screwed. There may be just enough time to sell the film rights.

donfers · 27-04-2010 05:33PM

I'm thinking of sending my cat "punk" in there but he's a lazy moggy at the best of times and hasn't much of a weight advantage over the squirrel in any case. I also don't want the bathroom to become an animal battlefield although I am slightly tempted to open a book on who'd win the contest

punk -2/1

crazed squirrel - 4/5

no contest/one of them scrams - evens

lay down your money now folks

Overheal · 27-04-2010 05:34PM

We need Pictures of the Offending Squirrel.

ejmaztec · 27-04-2010 05:37PM

Overheal wrote: »

We need Pictures of the Offending Squirrel.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_I2uQkGxIykM/SiJ2N89OvsI/AAAAAAAAErY/hB1w0AWnZL0/s400/insanity+su.jpg

:eek:

Mental squirrel trapped in my bathroom

Comments