Do fake lesbians annoy you?

Stark · 01-04-2010 11:27PM

Note to posters: The report posts function is for posts that are out of line or violate the charter. Not for reporting posters who don't agree with you.

Magenta · 01-04-2010 11:32PM

Can this thread be closed please, I don't intend on visiting this forum again.

Stark · 01-04-2010 11:34PM

No it can't. Other posters might still like to discuss the topic in your absence.

I guess there are more ways to seek attention that just kissing girls.

Magenta · 01-04-2010 11:41PM

Stark wrote: »

No it can't. Other posters might still like to discuss the topic in your absence.

I guess there are more ways to seek attention that just kissing girls.

Some of them haven't discussed the topic in the first place.
I hope the "seek attention" comment is not aimed at me, since "thinly veiled insults" are against your own charter.

Tricity Bendix · 01-04-2010 11:59PM

Magenta wrote: »

Some of them haven't discussed the topic in the first place.
I hope the "seek attention" comment is not aimed at me, since "thinly veiled insults" are against your own charter.

Actually, its flaming that is against the charter, "posting something that you feel will incite anger and/or abusive posting," which are "usually thinly veiled insults".

So you can use all the veiled insults you want, so long as you're not flaming, if that makes sense.

Nevyn · 02-04-2010 12:09AM

It's a differnece in how the genders communicate and this forum tends to have more male posters, so how they discuss topics is different from how such topics would be discussed in forums with more female posters.

As a bi woman it annoys me as I think it adds to the crap leveled at bisexuals that they are greedy or need to make thier minds up or only looking for notice. But hey people do all sorts of dumb stuff then they are young.

If I saw two girls snogging, personally I would not assume the sexual gender preference of either of them, I would how ever tend to assume they are doing it as they are attracted to the other person.

dearg lady · 02-04-2010 12:21AM

Yeah, I can't really see why it's particularly annoying, I'd tend to agree with Whoopsy that maybe people who are actually being 'fake' doing this, are just generally fake people. But I dunno, Boston also makes an excellent point, is it 'fake'? Is it just an outsiders perception that it's fake?
I'd consider myself bicurious, I've never had a relationship with a woman, but I do find myself sexually attracted to women, I mean c'mon, so many beautiful women out there!!
But I won't deny that I sometimes enjoy the attention as well as the kiss

Nevyn · 02-04-2010 12:44AM

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

eth0_ · 02-04-2010 03:59AM

Deleted User wrote: »

In what way are men derogatory about lesbians? In that they think they're all about sex etc? Do you think alot of men are the same about gay men?

Yep, exactly. I think girls who kiss other girls just to put on a display, and porn featuring straight actresses are to blame for the lecherous attitude some men have towards lesbians.

Thaedydal - the faux lesbians are quite easily identified, they'll usually be the ones looking out of the corner of their eyes to see how many guys are watching!

Rev Hellfire · 02-04-2010 07:51AM

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

eth0_ wrote: »

Yep, exactly. I think girls who kiss other girls just to put on a display

Perhaps it really isn't a big deal, For a group of people who claim society should not be judging them you're proving pretty quick to judge others.

Women in general seem to have far less of the intimacy taboos which us men have when it comes to contact with the same sex.
At least from a straight perspective two girls holding hands or even *gasp* kissing is far more socially acceptable than two blokes doing the same. I can only imagine most gay men wish the broader male population where the same. Life you would imagine would become much easier for them.

I mean what's the real issue here? I really just don't get it or see how it effects you negatively.

dearg lady · 02-04-2010 09:47AM

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

I don't fully understand, doesn't count as what?

nedoo · 02-04-2010 09:52AM

Magenta wrote: »

I just wanted to get some lesbians' perspective on this.
For the past few years it has become trendy for straight girls to kiss each other in nightclubs to get men's attention. Some will do it when requested to by men. It seems to have been made popular by the likes of Britney & Madonna kissing.
Personally, it annoys me. I am a straight female myself and I feel that it is kind of insulting to genuine lesbians when these girls kiss each other just for attention seeking purposes. Being lesbian is a genuine thing and I have no problem with real lesbians but I disagree with straight girls using lesbianism as a party trick.
My friends used to do it when we were in college. They're all as straight as anything but they wanted attention/shock factor I guess. One even proclaimed herself to be "bisexual" at several parties before admitting that she "just wanted to be seen as unique and edgy".

What are your views?

Live and let live, if they want to kiss, let them. I can't see how it sould bother you so much or how it would bother a "real" lesbian ( God bless you all)

02-04-2010 11:04AM

dearg lady wrote: »

I don't fully understand, doesn't count as what?

I think what Thaedyal (she may correct me!) means is that girls who just kiss think there is no hint of lesbianism in what they're doing or say that they are not bisexual/bicurious because they don't have sex. I'm not explaining this very well am I?

I tend to agree with Rev Hellfire in that I would have thought the glamourisation of lesbianism is a good thing for homosexuality in that it is alot less frowned upon that being a gay male.

Is porn which depicts "threesomes" derogatory towards bisexuals?

Do lesbians not watch lesbian porn?

dearg lady · 02-04-2010 11:11AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I think what Thaedyal (she may correct me!) means is that girls who just kiss think there is no hint of lesbianism in what they're doing or say that they are not bisexual/bicurious because they don't have sex. I'm not explaining this very well am I?

I tend to agree with Rev Hellfire in that I would have thought the glamourisation of lesbianism is a good thing for homosexuality in that it is alot less frowned upon that being a gay male.

Is porn which depicts "threesomes" derogatory towards bisexuals?

Do lesbians not watch lesbian porn?

lol, no I think I see what you mean! I suppose it would seem odd to me to kiss someone I wasn't interested in just for attention, but it wouldn't really bother me for others to do it.

Sometimes it seems like people are actively looking for something to get offended over, political correctness gone mad!

Quality · 02-04-2010 11:19AM

Ok so this is a little bit ot.

But when does a girl become bi or lesbian for that matter?

Would I be bi, if i am attracted to other women, or would I have to act on it ie.. kiss, have sex or have a relationship with another woman in order for me to be officially bi.

With being Lesbian it is probably more straight cut... ie you only have feelings for women??

Comments?

vectorization · 02-04-2010 11:38AM

i am a lesbian and i was out with some people from work at a straight bar. i havnt been to a straight club in ages. it was hilarious watching these girls pumping and grinding off each other as soon as some hot dude came close.
When i was a baby dyke i had girls make out with me to get back at there boyfriends even girls who make out with you while there making sexy eyes at the herd of drooling men at the bar.
When I see Gay acting straight girls I steer clear and let them at it. My gardar is a lot better these days.

Dwn Wth Vwls · 02-04-2010 12:17PM

Quality wrote: »

But when does a girl become bi or lesbian for that matter?

Would I be bi, if i am attracted to other women, or would I have to act on it ie.. kiss, have sex or have a relationship with another woman in order for me to be officially bi.

You generally don't "become" anything, it's what you are all along.

They're all just labels, it's up to you if you want to pick one for yourself. You can't be "officially" anything. Other people should respect the label if you choose one, but it's a free world and they might disagree.

It's really feelings that should decide what you are, because obviously you can do something you're not interested in, and you can not do things you are interested in. It's the interest that matters.

Aard · 02-04-2010 12:36PM

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Perhaps it really isn't a big deal, For a group of people who claim society should not be judging them you're proving pretty quick to judge others.

...

I mean what's the real issue here? I really just don't get it or see how it effects you negatively.

I think the problem some people have with it is that it fetishises homosexuality. There's more to being lesbian than kissing other girls.

Nevyn · 02-04-2010 12:59PM

Well there are a lot of not below the belt "bi" girls out there.

Rev Hellfire · 02-04-2010 01:06PM

Aard wrote: »

I think the problem some people have with it is that it fetishises homosexuality. There's more to being lesbian than kissing other girls.

But the point is these girls aren't lesbians, you know it, they know it and the blokes they're doing it for know it.

I mean its starting to come across as that's our "thing" and straight gals can't do it, but if there's more to being a lesbian than kissing then what's the harm.

rere · 02-04-2010 01:19PM

It does annoy me a little, I'd a friend that described lesbians as "disgusting" but when there was a guy around she like she'd no problems making out with some female friends, so long as they were in his eye line.

Also I think when girls do that then two seconds later go off with guys they'd been making eyes at, it gives a bad impression about Bi people. I know they're not claiming to be bi and if they do they're probably the not below the belt ones but it still perpetuates the myth that Bi's are easy, more likely to stray and all the other negative beliefs that some gay and straight people have.

Nevyn · 02-04-2010 01:19PM

Where's the harm?
When gay women are cat called, harassed when out with their partners and even in some cases assaulted when on a night out. The lesbian scene in this country and esp in Dublin is very closed off due to needing to protect the women in it unfortunately.

Rev Hellfire · 02-04-2010 01:42PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

When gay women are cat called, harassed when out with their partners and even in some cases assaulted when on a night out.

And how are these 'fake lesbians' causing this? By making it more socially acceptable for women to be intimate in public ?

I mean (and I'm willing to admit I could be wrong on this and seriously no insult is intended) but compared to gay males you've never had it so good, two blokes at it in a nightclub would not be as tolerated for whatever reason imo.

Now I suppose to be fair I would have to acknowledge that my female acquiescences would be more negatively disposed to lesbians and I am basing my perspective from the attitude of the straight male.

Boston · 02-04-2010 02:01PM

I don't think lesbian would be any more tolerated once it became apparently they where into each other more then the lads.

azezil · 02-04-2010 02:03PM

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

And how are these 'fake lesbians' causing this? By making it more socially acceptable for women to be intimate in public ?

Because they give the impression they're only doing it for show to get a straight man's attention, that its nothing more than a choice and they secretely want a bitta dick in them.

Drunken idiots often refuse to hear otherwise.

Rev Hellfire · 02-04-2010 02:04PM

Boston wrote: »

I don't think lesbian would be any more tolerated once it became apparently they where into each other more then the lads.

I suspect you're right. Still not sure how the 'fake lesbians' make it worse, but I do take your point.

Boston · 02-04-2010 02:17PM

Two elements:

1) People who are gay on a Friday night and straight the rest of the week, trivialise homosexuality and make it appear it's something we can all choose to engage in, or not. In the case of Lesbianism it isn't seen as a valid sexuality in and of itself. It's just something girls do for show, but they really crave male attention and affection. It propagates the notion that all a Lesbian needs is a good man, resonating with the crap they've heard all their life. Porn doesn't help either, "lesbian" are often shown in the context of fulfilling male fantasies. You work hard to establish that your sexuality isn't a phase, thats it valid and a fundamental part of yourself only for others to say they do it for ****s and giggles, completely undermining you.

2) These girls are head wreckers. As pointed out above, they'll lead you on but the reality is they're not doing it for you, but for the attention. Being treated like a prop in a show isn't nice.

Chuchoter · 02-04-2010 04:57PM

Boston wrote: »

Two elements:

1) People who are gay on a Friday night and straight the rest of the week, trivialise homosexuality and make it appear it's something we can all choose to engage in, or not. In the case of Lesbianism it isn't seen as a valid sexuality in and of itself. It's just something girls do for show, but they really crave male attention and affection. It propagates the notion that all a Lesbian needs is a good man, resonating with the crap they've heard all their life. Porn doesn't help either, "lesbian" are often shown in the context of fulfilling male fantasies. You work hard to establish that your sexuality isn't a phase, thats it valid and a fundamental part of yourself only for others to say they do it for ****s and giggles, completely undermining you.

quoted for truth.

I hate this brand of Katy Perry sexuality thats all over the place at the moment. It makes it look as if being a lesbian is just this fun thing you opt in and out of to impress the boys. Its a real orientation and I'm sick of it being trivialized as just 'not having found the right man'. People get picked on/beaten up all the time for being gay or lesbian and then these people just come in and make a mockery of the whole thing

baby and crumble · 02-04-2010 05:04PM

Originally posted by Spurious:
I don't mind them. Kiss away ladies, but don't get all huffy (and sometimes offended) if you're in a gay bar or at a women's club and a 'real' lesbian hits on you.

+1.

dearg lady · 02-04-2010 06:06PM

Boston wrote: »

Two elements:

1) People who are gay on a Friday night and straight the rest of the week, trivialise homosexuality and make it appear it's something we can all choose to engage in, or not. In the case of Lesbianism it isn't seen as a valid sexuality in and of itself. It's just something girls do for show, but they really crave male attention and affection. It propagates the notion that all a Lesbian needs is a good man, resonating with the crap they've heard all their life. Porn doesn't help either, "lesbian" are often shown in the context of fulfilling male fantasies. You work hard to establish that your sexuality isn't a phase, thats it valid and a fundamental part of yourself only for others to say they do it for ****s and giggles, completely undermining you.

2) These girls are head wreckers. As pointed out above, they'll lead you on but the reality is they're not doing it for you, but for the attention. Being treated like a prop in a show isn't nice.

ok, fair nuff Boston, well put, I can see how that would be annoying.

Just out of interest, what would peoples opinions be on someone like me? I think I said above I'd consider myself bi curious, I've kissed girls cos I'm attracted to them. I've never had a relationship with a woman, but I wouldn't completely write it off. Would that annoy people, or irrelevant?