Do fake lesbians annoy you?

Magenta

I just wanted to get some lesbians' perspective on this.
For the past few years it has become trendy for straight girls to kiss each other in nightclubs to get men's attention. Some will do it when requested to by men. It seems to have been made popular by the likes of Britney & Madonna kissing.
Personally, it annoys me. I am a straight female myself and I feel that it is kind of insulting to genuine lesbians when these girls kiss each other just for attention seeking purposes. Being lesbian is a genuine thing and I have no problem with real lesbians but I disagree with straight girls using lesbianism as a party trick.
My friends used to do it when we were in college. They're all as straight as anything but they wanted attention/shock factor I guess. One even proclaimed herself to be "bisexual" at several parties before admitting that she "just wanted to be seen as unique and edgy".

What are your views?

Boston

Let me prefix this by saying, I don't know much about Lesbianism. But what I do know seems to suggest an "intolerance" towards experimentation and being bicurious/bisexual. There seems to be more pressure to come out as gay and to do so early on in the development stages then with male homosexuality. I've met more Lesbian that like guys then I've met Bisexual women.

Magenta

Boston wrote: »

Let me prefix this by saying, I don't know much about Lesbianism. But what I do know seems to suggest an "intolerance" towards experimentation and being bicurious/bisexual. There seems to be more pressure to come out as gay and to do so early on in the development stages then with male homosexuality. I've met more Lesbian that like guys then I've met Bisexual women.

Yeah but I don't mean bicurious. I mean girls who are straight as the day is long and admit themselves that they kiss other girls to impress lads.

Boston

I'd wonder how much truth there is in that. It's amazing the lies people tell themselves.

seanybiker

Magenta wrote: »

Yeah but I don't mean bicurious. I mean girls who are straight as the day is long and admit themselves that they kiss other girls to impress lads.

two girls I know have loads of pics of them kissing each other up on facebook and it wrecks me bleeding head. Its obvious they're striaght. I know they're boyfriends. Really annoying.

Hello there! I wandered into this thread from the homepage!

I'm not a lesbian so I may be completely incorrect here but to say "it's insulting to real lesbians" just sounds incredibly odd. I mean, there's no rule that states two people of the same sex can only kiss each other if they're gay. Just like if a lesbian gal was to kiss a gay man, you would hardly say "it's insulting to real straight people", would you?

Tbh the type of girls you are talking about, the kind who do/say things solely to get attention, annoy me too, they're not "fake lesbians" they're generally fake girls.

I can't see how it would annoy "real lesbians" though. Or how it has anything at all to do with lesbianism.

For example, alot of men love girl on girl porn, I'd say alot of the girls in these porn vids are not lesbians, they just act like they are for the sake of the video. Are they "fake lesbians" are they insulting to "real lesbians"?

Maybe they are? I don't know, as I said, I'm not a lesbian, but as a straight person, I'm not insulted if someone pretends to be straight.

Magenta

Boston wrote: »

I'd wonder how much truth there is in that. It's amazing the lies people tell themselves.

Again, I'm not asking about people who are doubting their sexuality.
I am asking about people who pretend to be lesbians for attention.
If you want to talk about people who are doubting their sexuality then go start your own thread and stop dragging mine off topic. I asked a question and surprisingly enough I'm hoping for an answer.

BanzaiBk

Doesn't really annoy me, but it used to. Straight girls kissing each other might reinforce the weird stereotypes some straight men and women can have of actual lesbians but it's part of a developing sexual awareness we're getting as a nation. I'm all for that.

Plus it's funny watching them basically licking each others faces.

MicraBoy

It only annoys me in the sense that it diverts the attention of the straight men I am trying to score away from me.

Aard

Relax there OP. I think Boston was just saying that some of the girls who do it may actually be lesbians, and it's their excuse to kiss a girl while not actually coming out.


OT: No, it doensn't annoy me per se. The girls who do it, though, generally would annoy me faux-lesbianism or not.

Boston

Magenta wrote: »

Again, I'm not asking about people who are doubting their sexuality.
I am asking about people who pretend to be lesbians for attention.
If you want to talk about people who are doubting their sexuality then go start your own thread and stop dragging mine off topic. I asked a question and surprisingly enough I'm hoping for an answer.

The point I'm making, which you're missing, is that these "attention" seeker may actually be kissing girls because they like kissing girls and using the "It's for the lads" as cover. All you know about they're reasons is what they tell you.

Magenta

Boston wrote: »

The point I'm making, which you're missing, is that these "attention" seeker may actually be kissing girls because they like kissing girls and using the "It's for the lads" as cover. All you know about they're reasons is what they tell you.

These are girls who I know very well and I know that that is not the case.
Yet again I am not interested in detective theories on whether they may be secret lesbians because I know they are not.

spurious

I don't mind them. Kiss away ladies, but don't get all huffy (and sometimes offended) if you're in a gay bar or at a women's club and a 'real' lesbian hits on you.

Boston

You don't have to be a lesbian to have kissed a girl, all you need to have been is a bit curious.

Magenta

Boston wrote: »

You don't have to be a lesbian to have kissed a girl, all you need to have been is a bit curious.

I have reported your posts because I am tired of you trying to drag the thread off topic.

Magenta

Magenta wrote: »

Yet again I am not interested in detective theories on whether they may be secret lesbians because I know they are not.

So you're not talking about all "fake lesbians", just your friends? Well in that case it's very hard to make judgement seeing as these are specific people we don't know.

Magenta

Deleted User wrote: »

So you're not talking about all "fake lesbians", just your friends? Well in that case it's very hard to make judgement seeing as these are specific people we don't know.

Well it's going to be hard for you to make judgement anyway since I asked for lesbians' opinions and you, by your own admission, are not a lesbian.

Magenta

Magenta wrote: »

Well it's going to be hard for you to make judgement anyway since I asked for lesbians' opinions and you, by your own admission, are not a lesbian.

In that case, you are not qualified to pass judgement either. :rolleyes:

Magenta

Deleted User wrote:

well you asked "do fake lesbians annoy you"
you didn't ask "real lesbians, do fake lesbians annoy you?"

Magenta, in plain English wrote:

I just wanted to get some lesbians' perspective on this.

:rolleyes:

Magenta

Deleted User wrote: »

In that case, you are not qualified to pass judgement either. :rolleyes:

I wasn't asking myself for my own opinion though, was I :rolleyes:

Tricity Bendix

I hate it when fake lesbians piss in my cornflakes.

Boston

Magenta wrote: »

I have reported your posts because I am tired of you trying to drag the thread off topic.

You have this forum confused with rant and raving. I didn't realise the topic was your friends. I thought it was a topic discussing this behaviour in general. You seem to have made up your mind that any girl who engages in public displays of sexual ambivalence is doing so in an attempt to seek attention from heterosexual males. You're unwilling to hear other peoples opinions to the contrary. In my experience most people will be curious as some point in time. Girls have a handy cover for kissing other girls. Last time I saw a group of straight girls kissing, it wasn't for male attention, regardless of what was said after wards.

Magenta

Magenta wrote: »

I wasn't asking myself for my own opinion though, was I :rolleyes:

Ah I see, so you only want lesbians opinions on your straight friends kissing.

Wow, very specific :pac:

Magenta

The ignore function is a wonderful thing.

Ignoring posts that don't agree with your opinion.
How mature

Boston

Christ, it's not often you see someone completely sabotage their own threads. The aggression isn't warming us to you. Perhaps you friends are kissing each other to attract Lesbian attention. Post up pictures and let us judge?

Boston

Boston wrote: »

Christ, it's not often you see someone completely sabotage their own threads. The aggression isn't warming us to you. Perhaps you friends are kissing each other to attract Lesbian attention. Post up pictures and let us judge?

Boston, I'm shocked, is that a sly way of sayings pics or GTFO.

You're not gay at all are you? you're one of those "fake gays" :eek:

Boston

I'm a ghost in the machine, just a Markov bot.

eth0_

I've seen this too, back when I was in school and college though. The girls I knew who did this were DEFINITELY not lesbians, they were just (straight) slappers who did it to get a crowd of horny guys around them, who they would later cop off with.

Is it any wonder lots of men are so derogatory about lesbians when these "ladies" are putting on their lesbian act with the intention of titillating the OPPOSITE sex?

Magenta

eth0_ wrote: »

I've seen this too, back when I was in school and college though. The girls I knew who did this were DEFINITELY not lesbians, they were just (straight) slappers who did it to get a crowd of horny guys around them, who they would later cop off with.

Is it any wonder lots of men are so derogatory about lesbians when these "ladies" are putting on their lesbian act with the intention of titillating the OPPOSITE sex?

Yep. It's sad really. The same girls are sometimes even homophobic towards genuine lesbians themselves!

eth0_

eth0_ wrote: »

Is it any wonder lots of men are so derogatory about lesbians when these "ladies" are putting on their lesbian act with the intention of titillating the OPPOSITE sex?

In what way are men derogatory about lesbians? In that they think they're all about sex etc? Do you think alot of men are the same about gay men?

I do find it quite sad that alot of people (men and women, but imo mostly men) think that being homosexual means all you think about is sex. Do you think girls like the OP's friends fuel this way of thinking?

Stark

Note to posters: The report posts function is for posts that are out of line or violate the charter. Not for reporting posters who don't agree with you.

Magenta

Can this thread be closed please, I don't intend on visiting this forum again.

Stark

No it can't. Other posters might still like to discuss the topic in your absence.

I guess there are more ways to seek attention that just kissing girls.

Magenta

Stark wrote: »

No it can't. Other posters might still like to discuss the topic in your absence.

I guess there are more ways to seek attention that just kissing girls.

Some of them haven't discussed the topic in the first place.
I hope the "seek attention" comment is not aimed at me, since "thinly veiled insults" are against your own charter.

Tricity Bendix

Magenta wrote: »

Some of them haven't discussed the topic in the first place.
I hope the "seek attention" comment is not aimed at me, since "thinly veiled insults" are against your own charter.

Actually, its flaming that is against the charter, "posting something that you feel will incite anger and/or abusive posting," which are "usually thinly veiled insults".

So you can use all the veiled insults you want, so long as you're not flaming, if that makes sense.

Nevyn

It's a differnece in how the genders communicate and this forum tends to have more male posters, so how they discuss topics is different from how such topics would be discussed in forums with more female posters.

As a bi woman it annoys me as I think it adds to the crap leveled at bisexuals that they are greedy or need to make thier minds up or only looking for notice. But hey people do all sorts of dumb stuff then they are young.

If I saw two girls snogging, personally I would not assume the sexual gender preference of either of them, I would how ever tend to assume they are doing it as they are attracted to the other person.

dearg lady

Yeah, I can't really see why it's particularly annoying, I'd tend to agree with Whoopsy that maybe people who are actually being 'fake' doing this, are just generally fake people. But I dunno, Boston also makes an excellent point, is it 'fake'? Is it just an outsiders perception that it's fake?
I'd consider myself bicurious, I've never had a relationship with a woman, but I do find myself sexually attracted to women, I mean c'mon, so many beautiful women out there!!
But I won't deny that I sometimes enjoy the attention as well as the kiss

Nevyn

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

eth0_

Deleted User wrote: »

In what way are men derogatory about lesbians? In that they think they're all about sex etc? Do you think alot of men are the same about gay men?

Yep, exactly. I think girls who kiss other girls just to put on a display, and porn featuring straight actresses are to blame for the lecherous attitude some men have towards lesbians.

Thaedydal - the faux lesbians are quite easily identified, they'll usually be the ones looking out of the corner of their eyes to see how many guys are watching!

Rev Hellfire

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

eth0_ wrote: »

Yep, exactly. I think girls who kiss other girls just to put on a display

Perhaps it really isn't a big deal, For a group of people who claim society should not be judging them you're proving pretty quick to judge others.

Women in general seem to have far less of the intimacy taboos which us men have when it comes to contact with the same sex.
At least from a straight perspective two girls holding hands or even *gasp* kissing is far more socially acceptable than two blokes doing the same. I can only imagine most gay men wish the broader male population where the same. Life you would imagine would become much easier for them.

I mean what's the real issue here? I really just don't get it or see how it effects you negatively.

dearg lady

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think there are a lot of women out there who are into kissing other women but who are not into having sex with other women. I find it annoying esp those who seem to think it's not a big deal, that it is only kissing another woman, and there for doesn't count.

I don't fully understand, doesn't count as what?

nedoo

Magenta wrote: »

I just wanted to get some lesbians' perspective on this.
For the past few years it has become trendy for straight girls to kiss each other in nightclubs to get men's attention. Some will do it when requested to by men. It seems to have been made popular by the likes of Britney & Madonna kissing.
Personally, it annoys me. I am a straight female myself and I feel that it is kind of insulting to genuine lesbians when these girls kiss each other just for attention seeking purposes. Being lesbian is a genuine thing and I have no problem with real lesbians but I disagree with straight girls using lesbianism as a party trick.
My friends used to do it when we were in college. They're all as straight as anything but they wanted attention/shock factor I guess. One even proclaimed herself to be "bisexual" at several parties before admitting that she "just wanted to be seen as unique and edgy".

What are your views?

Live and let live, if they want to kiss, let them. I can't see how it sould bother you so much or how it would bother a "real" lesbian ( God bless you all)

dearg lady

dearg lady wrote: »

I don't fully understand, doesn't count as what?

I think what Thaedyal (she may correct me!) means is that girls who just kiss think there is no hint of lesbianism in what they're doing or say that they are not bisexual/bicurious because they don't have sex. I'm not explaining this very well am I?

I tend to agree with Rev Hellfire in that I would have thought the glamourisation of lesbianism is a good thing for homosexuality in that it is alot less frowned upon that being a gay male.

Is porn which depicts "threesomes" derogatory towards bisexuals?

Do lesbians not watch lesbian porn?

dearg lady

Deleted User wrote: »

I think what Thaedyal (she may correct me!) means is that girls who just kiss think there is no hint of lesbianism in what they're doing or say that they are not bisexual/bicurious because they don't have sex. I'm not explaining this very well am I?

I tend to agree with Rev Hellfire in that I would have thought the glamourisation of lesbianism is a good thing for homosexuality in that it is alot less frowned upon that being a gay male.

Is porn which depicts "threesomes" derogatory towards bisexuals?

Do lesbians not watch lesbian porn?

lol, no I think I see what you mean! I suppose it would seem odd to me to kiss someone I wasn't interested in just for attention, but it wouldn't really bother me for others to do it.

Sometimes it seems like people are actively looking for something to get offended over, political correctness gone mad!

Quality

Ok so this is a little bit ot.

But when does a girl become bi or lesbian for that matter?


Would I be bi, if i am attracted to other women, or would I have to act on it ie.. kiss, have sex or have a relationship with another woman in order for me to be officially bi.

With being Lesbian it is probably more straight cut... ie you only have feelings for women??

Comments?

vectorization

i am a lesbian and i was out with some people from work at a straight bar. i havnt been to a straight club in ages. it was hilarious watching these girls pumping and grinding off each other as soon as some hot dude came close.
When i was a baby dyke i had girls make out with me to get back at there boyfriends even girls who make out with you while there making sexy eyes at the herd of drooling men at the bar.
When I see Gay acting straight girls I steer clear and let them at it. My gardar is a lot better these days.

Dwn Wth Vwls

Quality wrote: »

But when does a girl become bi or lesbian for that matter?

Would I be bi, if i am attracted to other women, or would I have to act on it ie.. kiss, have sex or have a relationship with another woman in order for me to be officially bi.

You generally don't "become" anything, it's what you are all along.

They're all just labels, it's up to you if you want to pick one for yourself. You can't be "officially" anything. Other people should respect the label if you choose one, but it's a free world and they might disagree.

It's really feelings that should decide what you are, because obviously you can do something you're not interested in, and you can not do things you are interested in. It's the interest that matters.

Aard

Rev Hellfire wrote: »

Perhaps it really isn't a big deal, For a group of people who claim society should not be judging them you're proving pretty quick to judge others.

...

I mean what's the real issue here? I really just don't get it or see how it effects you negatively.

I think the problem some people have with it is that it fetishises homosexuality. There's more to being lesbian than kissing other girls.

Nevyn

Well there are a lot of not below the belt "bi" girls out there.

Rev Hellfire

Aard wrote: »

I think the problem some people have with it is that it fetishises homosexuality. There's more to being lesbian than kissing other girls.

But the point is these girls aren't lesbians, you know it, they know it and the blokes they're doing it for know it.

I mean its starting to come across as that's our "thing" and straight gals can't do it, but if there's more to being a lesbian than kissing then what's the harm.