What Would You Do? If you Caught A Burglar in Your Home

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 28-03-2010 12:50AM

I'm usually upstairs, and if I hear a noise downstairs(a bang, clatter etc.) I go batshít crazy. I pick up my lock knife and a mini baseball bat/hurl/golf club and I go tearing down the stairs swinging and shouting. I almost broke a window by throwing a sliotar into the kitchen whilst hiding behind the door.:cool:

If I caught someone I would probably clatter them in the ribs on kick them in the sack. If I had a friend over and everyone was gone out we'd more than likely devise a master-plan to catch the fúcker.:pac:

I'm fairly lethal with a golf club in my hand on a bad day, when I was like 9 I hit my friend in the knee on the 5th teebox and I threw a golf club at a díckhead that I really don't like and hit him on the head with the shaft(long metal bit). Yeah, I'm crazy.

Piriz · 28-03-2010 12:51AM

About two years ago, I arrived home after a night out in town. I went out the back garden for a smoke before I went to bed (4am'ish). Standing there half drunk at the back door staring into the distance, I spot some body pop up from the back wall. The wall is about six foot and separates another back garden so this guy is in that back yard.. Confused and thinking oh **** as we are both just staring at each other for a second. Then another guy jumps up on the wall beside him.
My thoughts are if they come into this garden i'm f*cking f*cked. So, i head towards the back wall shouting "get the f*ck out of here, your not coming into this f*cking garden you ****ing c*nts" bla blah drunk bravado but it worked.. they jumped back down.
I had a look into my neighbors garden to make sure they didn't go in there and I grabbed a shovel from the garage (excellent weapon imo). Then i checked the street to see if they went out that way and i seen an ambulance and a Garda car down the end of the road..(something going on but nobody would tell me).
I went down and spoke to a Garda and told them what had happened and one came up and looked around my garden..that was it..
The following day the person who lives in the house behind me knocked around asking did I hear anything last night? I explained that there were people in her garden trying to come into mine and i shouted them off etc.
She said that there was loads of toilet roll with blood all over it in a toilet she has in her garage..
Anyway, it seems as though there was some violence in the area and these two guys were trying to allude the cops or enemies and were perhaps not burglars at all..However, i thought they were burglars at the time & I was glad of my reaction but I think I was less vulnerable with the wall between us and the fact I was half pissed clouded the fear..
I would not like to have to confront one in my house with me standing between him and the exit...scary ****!

stovelid · 28-03-2010 01:11AM

BluesBerry wrote: »

make my self a flame thrower with a can of hairspray and a lighter

give him 1st degree burns

that'll teach him for tresspassing on my property:cool:

And set fire to your own house with everybody in it?

Brianc102 · 28-03-2010 01:13AM

Id set the rabbits on him.

Closed ac · 28-03-2010 01:13AM

Take my ornamental samurai sword down off the wall and slice him to pieces.

cafecolour · 28-03-2010 01:22AM

I saw a film once that gave me some great ideas, but not entirely sure on the details - is sodomy admissible as self-defense?

kryogen · 28-03-2010 01:25AM

do my level best to make sure he never walks again tbh

even if i fail, i will at least do some damage before he either

A. knocks me out/kills me!
B. Gets away

Co45 · 28-03-2010 01:26AM

My friend recently found a junkie cowering in the corner of his kitchen trying to protect himself from my friends little collie terrier. Must of been a funny image.

nlgbbbblth · 28-03-2010 01:28AM

if I confront a burglar and inflict serious injury by use of excessive force I will expect some form of punishment from the courts.

the burning question is though

- does the burglar get prosecuted for breaking and entering in the first place?

or is it a case of punish the retaliator not the instigator?

kryogen · 28-03-2010 01:39AM

the burglar gets a suspended sentence/fine for the break in, you go to the big house for GBH!

you gotta love a system like that

not like the Spanish way, if you break into my house in Spain, i can literally blow your head off with my legal gun and not even get a ticking off!

ibarelycare · 28-03-2010 01:44AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

Caught a burglar getting in the window one night.

It was about 3am and he threw his feet in through the top opening of the window, down inside the blinds and was standing on the window ledge.

I just jumped up scared out of my boxers and roared at him.

He dived back out and I grabbed his feet and pushed them out.

I then (foolishly) opened the door and was roaring all sorts.

Calling them scumbag junkies and that I knew them etc.

I hadn't a clue but it just sorta of happened like that.

Where I am is very rough.

The committee are always putting leaflets though the door about meetings in the hall about the amount of local burglaries and car thefts and what we can do etc.

Jeez you must have really scared the sh*t out of him

dublin 16 lad · 28-03-2010 01:49AM

I'm very surprised by the amount of people saying they'd confront a burgular. A lot of the time robbers carry weapons and out of desperation would not be afraid to use them

What is the point in risking your life over a flat screen TV or a few quid? Especially if you have insurance. Seriously, I can't understand it

If I heard a burgular down stairs I'd get everyone in the family into one bedroom quietly and lock the door. Then ring the garda

Denmark101 · 28-03-2010 01:53AM

Eeem no 4.

I watched a tv show once that said you should stay composed and calmly ask the intruder what he wants and tell him to take it, as the intruder is likely to be just as afraid as you are.

However in reality I'd say my head would go to mush and I'd scream my head off:pac:

alwaysadub · 28-03-2010 01:58AM

In all honesty i'd probably be too scared sh1tless to do anything..
No one in my family has ever been broken into. If i do hear a noise in the night, i usually just cower under the duvet a bit more! I live alone,and i'm only a small little thing, so can't see me being much good up against a 6ft bloke trying to rob me. My neighbour is a Guard though, so at least i know if i shouted loud enough he'd probably hear me. Unless he was at work of course.. In which case i'd have to rely on the cows across the road cos they're the next nearest thing to me..

EDIT: I'm not calling my neighbours names btw,i meant actual cows,the ones that go moo..

elius · 28-03-2010 02:02AM

Not a hole lot i could do. The dog would have eaten him first.:p:p

bazmaiden · 28-03-2010 02:03AM

alwaysadub wrote: »

In all honesty i'd probably be too scared sh1tless to do anything..
No one in my family has ever been broken into. If i do hear a noise in the night, i usually just cower under the duvet a bit more! I live alone,and i'm only a small little thing, so can't see me being much good up against a 6ft bloke trying to rob me. My neighbour is a Guard though, so at least i know if i shouted loud enough he'd probably hear me. Unless he was at work of course.. In which case i'd have to rely on the cows across the road cos they're the next nearest thing to me..

EDIT: I'm not calling my neighbours names btw,i meant actual cows,the ones that go moo..

Imagine if you did confront the burglar and it was him!!!
Den Den Deeeeeeeeen

Tigger · 28-03-2010 02:06AM

dublin 16 lad wrote: »

I'm very surprised by the amount of people saying they'd confront a burgular. A lot of the time robbers carry weapons and out of desperation would not be afraid to use them

What is the point in risking your life over a flat screen TV or a few quid? Especially if you have insurance. Seriously, I can't understand it

If I heard a burgular down stairs I'd get everyone in the family into one bedroom quietly and lock the door. Then ring the garda

i'm 6'2" wiigh 17st practice martial arts old and modern and collect weapons as a hobby
my best friend isd half rottweiler. soon the law will change and i won't even have to hide the evidence

alwaysadub · 28-03-2010 02:14AM

bazmaiden wrote: »

Imagine if you did confront the burglar and it was him!!!
Den Den Deeeeeeeeen

I'd be telling his missus on him, that'd cause him much more grief than anything i could imagine

migozarad · 28-03-2010 02:15AM

I would do the sensible thing and bludgeon the intruder with a hurley,golf club etc. or anything to hand and just reduce the ****er to a quivering,bloody mess.This may deter him from repeating his mistake or maybe I would incur a lawsuit..I hope I'm never in that situation..

sharky86 · 28-03-2010 02:15AM

wheel brace

bazmaiden · 28-03-2010 02:20AM

alwaysadub wrote: »

I'd be telling his missus on him, that'd cause him much more grief than anything i could imagine

And explain why he was in your house in the middle of the night?? :P

Nemanja91 · 28-03-2010 02:22AM

If we had a gun i'd let him continue rob me but if he had nothing or a small weapon I would go for him cause I would have a bigger weapon

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 28-03-2010 02:24AM

Nemanja91 wrote: »

If we had a gun i'd let him continue rob me but if he had nothing or a small weapon I would go for him cause I would have a bigger weapon

I have a big weapon.:cool:

Nemanja91 · 28-03-2010 02:26AM

baz2009 wrote: »

I have a big weapon.:cool:

I didn't mean that way ya dirty c*nt ya:D

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 28-03-2010 02:34AM

Nemanja91 wrote: »

I didn't mean that way ya dirty c*nt ya:D

Heh, I couldn't resist.:D

Nemanja91 · 28-03-2010 02:36AM

baz2009 wrote: »

Heh, I couldn't resist.:D

I knew someone would say something alright!

Lone Stone · 28-03-2010 02:49AM

Tail Wagger wrote: »

Well I'm sure we've all thought about it from time to time, but if it this really happened to you.

If you arrived home some day to your home and found someone [a burglar] ransacking your belongings?...

[1] Would you.... give him a 5 minute start before ringing the cops?

[2] Would you.....Make a cup of tea, and sit down and talk it over?

[3] would you.....Take out your photo's and show him where next to rob?

[4] would you..... Do none of the above and sort it yourself?

Someone actually broke into a relation of mine's home not to long ago, A junkie was fiddling around out there back garden had to climb over the wall to get in, Was a corner house, Daughter had a granny flat out the back and is pregnant got a fright when she saw someone out the back and rang the dad in the house...... The dad's a 5th dan.. Junkie got a few broken limb's

Gards came around and go "ow HE FELL of that wall did he ? why yes.. yes he did fall of that wall"

Dudess · 28-03-2010 03:40AM

nipplenuts wrote: »

I'd hit him over the head with the microwave and shove every single item in his swag bag up his arse. Then i'd rub him in sausagemeat and throw him over the wall to next-door's dog.

:pac:

orourkeda wrote: »

Anyone who is prepared to let anyone just take their stuff needs their head examined in my view

Well then I need my head examined, because if the burglar had a weapon I'd sure as hell let them help themselves to my belongings, which are replaceable.

cafecolour wrote: »

I saw a film once that gave me some great ideas, but not entirely sure on the details - is sodomy admissible as self-defense?

:eek:

I don't remember that happening in Home Alone!

Davidius · 28-03-2010 03:49AM

I'd see if video games have really taught me anything and try to sneak up behind them in order to knock them out.

If I was somehow successful I'd call the Colonel on my codec, probably call an attractive Asian woman to save my game too.

Reeni · 28-03-2010 04:06AM

I'd grab the heaviest thing I could find and batter them with it. If I had the good fortune to knock them unconcious then I'd throw them over my back wall for good measure.

I'd probably get myself killed or somethin', but I wouldn't be able to just run away if someone was breaking into my house.

What Would You Do? If you Caught A Burglar in Your Home

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