What Would You Do? If you Caught A Burglar in Your Home

Tail Wagger

Well I'm sure we've all thought about it from time to time, but if it this really happened to you.

If you arrived home some day to your home and found someone [a burglar] ransacking your belongings?...

[1] Would you.... give him a 5 minute start before ringing the cops?

[2] Would you.....Make a cup of tea, and sit down and talk it over?

[3] would you.....Take out your photo's and show him where next to rob?

[4] would you..... Do none of the above and sort it yourself?

nucking futs

If he had a weapon, let him at it. If not, fight back.

Tigger

7
a few times

Mr. Presentable

I'd hit him over the head with the microwave and shove every single item in his swag bag up his arse. Then i'd rub him in sausagemeat and throw him over the wall to next-door's dog.

Mr. Presentable

Tail Wagger wrote: »

Well I'm sure we've all thought about it from time to time, but if it this really happened to you.

If you arrived home some day to your home and found someone [a burglar] ransacking your belongings?...

[1] Would you.... give him a 5 minute start before ringing toe cops?

[2] Would you.....Make a cup of tea, and sit down and talk it over?

[3] would you.....Take out your photo's and show him where next to rob?

[4] would you..... Do none of the above and sort it yourself?

Incidentally, who the f*** are the toe cops? Ya quick editing fecker

amacachi

I'd make sure I only hit him on his front, then it can all be explained as self-defence.



The more likely scenario is I would **** meself.

Mint Sauce

make sure he didn't get my passport

nipplenuts wrote: »

Incidentally, who the f*** are the toe cops? Ya quick editing fecker

they make sure you have clipped your toe nails properly

fonecrusher1

If he had a weapon i wouldn't confront him. If he didn't have a weapon i'd do my best to cause as much bodily harm to him before he was able to get away from me.

Tail Wagger

nipplenuts wrote: »

Incidentally, who the f*** are the toe cops? Ya quick editing fecker

Just found me glasses, very hard to drink looking through the end of a pint glass
and type as well !

ibarelycare

nipplenuts wrote: »

I'd hit him over the head with the microwave and shove every single item in his swag bag up his arse. Then i'd rub him in sausagemeat and throw him over the wall to next-door's dog.

:D:D:D

Tail Wagger

Well if it was me I'd lock him in the back bedroom with the fecken mother-in-law, I know she wouldn't let him out because she hasn't been with any man for about fifteen years. The next morning he'd go to the cop shop and throw himself at their mercy.....

Locust

I'd initially try and properly apprehend him - i.e. give him a few thumps and tie him up all 'hostel' like and ring the guards...
While waiting for them I'd check him for any identification or property on him that might give me clues as to where he's from etc... and give him a wee pep talk on what happens to his gaff or his knees and his families if he decides to come back here.

If the inital confrontation goes pear shaped i'd be thinking of self defense, do what i have to to 'neutralise him' weapon or not, plenty of objects in my house to defend myself with - in my mind all id think - its me or him - no problem making that decision.

jill_valentine

I have caught a burglar in my house.

The lights were out in the front rooms, so he must have thought there was nobody home. He kicked the door in, whereupon I vocalised my considerable outrage with a number of angry, colourful profanities and chased him back out.

I was too angry to think about what I might have done if he didn't run when I chased him, but thankfully the problem didn't arise.

changes

If i thought it was one burglar i'd attack him with one of the golf clubs i have in the room. If it was 2 i think i'd be hiding till they left.

Rockn

Step 1: Grab a weapon.

Step 2: Shout at him/ let him know I'm there. If he runs off relax and report to the Gards. If he doesn't run off proceed to step 3. If he runs off but is carrying my TV run after him and proceed to step 3.

Step 3: Kick the **** out of him.

squod

changes wrote: »

If i thought it was one burglar i'd attack him with one of the golf clubs i have in the room. If it was 2 i think i'd be hiding till they left.

Angry golfer, real scary. :rolleyes:

Mike 1972

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

If he had a weapon i wouldn't confront him. If he didn't have a weapon i'd do my best to cause as much bodily harm to him before he was able to get away from me.

If youre going down that route its best to cause him so much body harm as to not be able to get away from you.

And then figure out how to get rid of the corpse without anyone finding out

Fiskar

Don't think he/she/they would want their picture/video all over the internet! CCTV deterrent along with other deterrants would negate to you ever having to face this issue/problem.
If it ever arose with these deterrants you would most probably be out away from the home.

stovelid

I don't know but it would be far, far worse than all the spoofs physical punishments outlined thus far.

Mr. Presentable

stovelid wrote: »

I don't know but it would be far, far worse than all the spoofs physical punishments outlined thus far.

OK, you got me

OutlawPete

Caught a burglar getting in the window one night.

It was about 3am and he threw his feet in through the top opening of the window, down inside the blinds and was standing on the window ledge.

I just jumped up scared out of my boxers and roared at him.

He dived back out and I grabbed his feet and pushed them out.

I then (foolishly) opened the door and was roaring all sorts.

Calling them scumbag junkies and that I knew them etc.

I hadn't a clue but it just sorta of happened like that.

Where I am is very rough.

The committee are always putting leaflets though the door about meetings in the hall about the amount of local burglaries and car thefts and what we can do etc.

orourkeda

Any burglar would have to murder me before they'd get put of my home with a red cent.

Anyone who is prepared to let anyone just take their stuff needs their head examined in my view

fonecrusher1

Mike 1972 wrote: »

If youre going down that route its best to cause him so much body harm as to not be able to get away from you.

And then figure out how to get rid of the corpse without anyone finding out

Nah, I wouldn't go that far. But i'd make sure he went back home with a few missing teeth or something to remind him why its a bad idea to break into peoples homes.
I couldn't kill a person because they broke into my house but theres nothing wrong with giving him a good kicking. Like a souvenir.:D

BluesBerry

make my self a flame thrower with a can of hairspray and a lighter

give him 1st degree burns

that'll teach him for tresspassing on my property:cool:

Tigger

Mike 1972 wrote: »

If youre going down that route its best to cause him so much body harm as to not be able to get away from you.

And then figure out how to get rid of the corpse without anyone finding out

Septic tank?

changes

squod wrote: »

Angry golfer, real scary. :rolleyes:

I'm a good golfer i could take the tip of your nose off in half a second

Jokes aside, i'm 32 and fairly fit. There would be no messing about the golf club would be swung and swung hard....

A Disgrace

OutlawPete wrote: »

Caught a burglar getting in the window one night.

It was about 3am and he threw his feet in through the top opening of the window, down inside the blinds and was standing on the window ledge.

I just jumped up scared out of my boxers and roared at him.

He dived back out and I grabbed his feet and pushed them out.

I then (foolishly) opened the door and was roaring all sorts.

Calling them scumbag junkies and that I knew them etc.

I hadn't a clue but it just sorta of happened like that.

Where I am is very rough.

The committee are always putting leaflets though the door about meetings in the hall about the amount of local burglaries and car thefts and what we can do etc.

It's amazing how animal instinct takes over.. I woke one night about 5 years ago to a guy standing over my bed, I was up and at him before I even knew what I was doing... I guess you could say I spoke to him.. with my fists.

Still, a frightening experience and it still sorta haunts me to this day

galwayrush

I have no idea, because at this stage, i'll probably recognise him / her. If it was my bank manager,i'd definitely shoot the thieving bastard,

Fiskar

OutlawPete wrote: »

Caught a burglar getting in the window one night.

It was about 3am and he threw his feet in through the top opening of the window, down inside the blinds and was standing on the window ledge.

I just jumped up scared out of my boxers and roared at him.

He dived back out and I grabbed his feet and pushed them out.

I then (foolishly) opened the door and was roaring all sorts.

Calling them scumbag junkies and that I knew them etc.

I hadn't a clue but it just sorta of happened like that.

Where I am is very rough.

The committee are always putting leaflets though the door about meetings in the hall about the amount of local burglaries and car thefts and what we can do etc.

"Escape from LA/New York" comes to mind,

have to say that each persons area and experiences determine their reaction to certain situations. If this were the norm in my area I'd be gone to greener pastures (life is too short).
I'd cap it off with this, the "fight or flight" of the moment and ones presence of mind to think appropriately in these situations, Flight and fight another day would be the safest policy. :rolleyes:

ScumLord

I'd capture them and they'd be my friend forever and ever.

PCPhoto

for fear of the legal consequences in the event of this happening ..... I'm not gonna say what I think I would do....or at least what I would like to do if I found myself in this situation.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

I'm usually upstairs, and if I hear a noise downstairs(a bang, clatter etc.) I go batshít crazy. I pick up my lock knife and a mini baseball bat/hurl/golf club and I go tearing down the stairs swinging and shouting. I almost broke a window by throwing a sliotar into the kitchen whilst hiding behind the door.:cool:

If I caught someone I would probably clatter them in the ribs on kick them in the sack. If I had a friend over and everyone was gone out we'd more than likely devise a master-plan to catch the fúcker.:pac:

I'm fairly lethal with a golf club in my hand on a bad day, when I was like 9 I hit my friend in the knee on the 5th teebox and I threw a golf club at a díckhead that I really don't like and hit him on the head with the shaft(long metal bit). Yeah, I'm crazy.

Piriz

About two years ago, I arrived home after a night out in town. I went out the back garden for a smoke before I went to bed (4am'ish). Standing there half drunk at the back door staring into the distance, I spot some body pop up from the back wall. The wall is about six foot and separates another back garden so this guy is in that back yard.. Confused and thinking oh **** as we are both just staring at each other for a second. Then another guy jumps up on the wall beside him.
My thoughts are if they come into this garden i'm f*cking f*cked. So, i head towards the back wall shouting "get the f*ck out of here, your not coming into this f*cking garden you ****ing c*nts" bla blah drunk bravado but it worked.. they jumped back down.
I had a look into my neighbors garden to make sure they didn't go in there and I grabbed a shovel from the garage (excellent weapon imo). Then i checked the street to see if they went out that way and i seen an ambulance and a Garda car down the end of the road..(something going on but nobody would tell me).
I went down and spoke to a Garda and told them what had happened and one came up and looked around my garden..that was it..
The following day the person who lives in the house behind me knocked around asking did I hear anything last night? I explained that there were people in her garden trying to come into mine and i shouted them off etc.
She said that there was loads of toilet roll with blood all over it in a toilet she has in her garage..
Anyway, it seems as though there was some violence in the area and these two guys were trying to allude the cops or enemies and were perhaps not burglars at all..However, i thought they were burglars at the time & I was glad of my reaction but I think I was less vulnerable with the wall between us and the fact I was half pissed clouded the fear..
I would not like to have to confront one in my house with me standing between him and the exit...scary ****!

stovelid

BluesBerry wrote: »

make my self a flame thrower with a can of hairspray and a lighter

give him 1st degree burns

that'll teach him for tresspassing on my property:cool:

And set fire to your own house with everybody in it?

Brianc102

Id set the rabbits on him.

Closed ac

Take my ornamental samurai sword down off the wall and slice him to pieces.

cafecolour

I saw a film once that gave me some great ideas, but not entirely sure on the details - is sodomy admissible as self-defense?

kryogen

do my level best to make sure he never walks again tbh

even if i fail, i will at least do some damage before he either

A. knocks me out/kills me!
B. Gets away

Co45

My friend recently found a junkie cowering in the corner of his kitchen trying to protect himself from my friends little collie terrier. Must of been a funny image.

nlgbbbblth

if I confront a burglar and inflict serious injury by use of excessive force I will expect some form of punishment from the courts.

the burning question is though

- does the burglar get prosecuted for breaking and entering in the first place?

or is it a case of punish the retaliator not the instigator?

kryogen

the burglar gets a suspended sentence/fine for the break in, you go to the big house for GBH!




you gotta love a system like that

not like the Spanish way, if you break into my house in Spain, i can literally blow your head off with my legal gun and not even get a ticking off!

ibarelycare

OutlawPete wrote: »

Caught a burglar getting in the window one night.

It was about 3am and he threw his feet in through the top opening of the window, down inside the blinds and was standing on the window ledge.

I just jumped up scared out of my boxers and roared at him.

He dived back out and I grabbed his feet and pushed them out.

I then (foolishly) opened the door and was roaring all sorts.

Calling them scumbag junkies and that I knew them etc.

I hadn't a clue but it just sorta of happened like that.

Where I am is very rough.

The committee are always putting leaflets though the door about meetings in the hall about the amount of local burglaries and car thefts and what we can do etc.

Jeez you must have really scared the sh*t out of him

dublin 16 lad

I'm very surprised by the amount of people saying they'd confront a burgular. A lot of the time robbers carry weapons and out of desperation would not be afraid to use them

What is the point in risking your life over a flat screen TV or a few quid? Especially if you have insurance. Seriously, I can't understand it

If I heard a burgular down stairs I'd get everyone in the family into one bedroom quietly and lock the door. Then ring the garda

Denmark101

Eeem no 4.

I watched a tv show once that said you should stay composed and calmly ask the intruder what he wants and tell him to take it, as the intruder is likely to be just as afraid as you are.

However in reality I'd say my head would go to mush and I'd scream my head off:pac:

alwaysadub

In all honesty i'd probably be too scared sh1tless to do anything..
No one in my family has ever been broken into. If i do hear a noise in the night, i usually just cower under the duvet a bit more! I live alone,and i'm only a small little thing, so can't see me being much good up against a 6ft bloke trying to rob me. My neighbour is a Guard though, so at least i know if i shouted loud enough he'd probably hear me. Unless he was at work of course.. In which case i'd have to rely on the cows across the road cos they're the next nearest thing to me..

EDIT: I'm not calling my neighbours names btw,i meant actual cows,the ones that go moo..

elius

Not a hole lot i could do. The dog would have eaten him first.:p:p

bazmaiden

alwaysadub wrote: »

In all honesty i'd probably be too scared sh1tless to do anything..
No one in my family has ever been broken into. If i do hear a noise in the night, i usually just cower under the duvet a bit more! I live alone,and i'm only a small little thing, so can't see me being much good up against a 6ft bloke trying to rob me. My neighbour is a Guard though, so at least i know if i shouted loud enough he'd probably hear me. Unless he was at work of course.. In which case i'd have to rely on the cows across the road cos they're the next nearest thing to me..

EDIT: I'm not calling my neighbours names btw,i meant actual cows,the ones that go moo..

Imagine if you did confront the burglar and it was him!!!
Den Den Deeeeeeeeen

Tigger

dublin 16 lad wrote: »

I'm very surprised by the amount of people saying they'd confront a burgular. A lot of the time robbers carry weapons and out of desperation would not be afraid to use them

What is the point in risking your life over a flat screen TV or a few quid? Especially if you have insurance. Seriously, I can't understand it

If I heard a burgular down stairs I'd get everyone in the family into one bedroom quietly and lock the door. Then ring the garda

i'm 6'2" wiigh 17st practice martial arts old and modern and collect weapons as a hobby
my best friend isd half rottweiler. soon the law will change and i won't even have to hide the evidence

alwaysadub

bazmaiden wrote: »

Imagine if you did confront the burglar and it was him!!!
Den Den Deeeeeeeeen

I'd be telling his missus on him, that'd cause him much more grief than anything i could imagine

migozarad

I would do the sensible thing and bludgeon the intruder with a hurley,golf club etc. or anything to hand and just reduce the ****er to a quivering,bloody mess.This may deter him from repeating his mistake or maybe I would incur a lawsuit..I hope I'm never in that situation..

sharky86

wheel brace