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Farts

24

Comments

  • #32
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    No they're not.
    Fago_25 wrote: »
    I think they're hilarious!

    Standing at traffic lights yesterday and an elderly woman let out the loudest fart ever.
    Eww the dirty bitch! :eek:
    Cut to me and the other pedestrians bursting out in laughter.

    Then ten minutes ago I let out a big fart and I'm still in hysterics.

    Even the word sounds funny - FART

    Do you think they're funny?

    Have you got embarrassed by tooting in public?

    Yes they're funny. Nope never have, never want to! \0/


  • #33
    cupthehand1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 252 ✭✭cupthehand1


    No they're not.
    Classic Comedy gold :D

    You can bate an egg, but you can't bate a good rooter of a fart :D


  • #34
    tipperaryboy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 960 ✭✭✭tipperaryboy


    A good oul fart cant be beaten especially in a place thats normally quiet.


  • #35
    kelle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭kelle


    No they're not.
    I think they're hilarious, and I'm female.


  • #36
    Gillington
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,555 ✭✭✭Gillington


    No they're not.
    In this great world of ours,there is NOTHING worse then letting an almighty ripper out and there's no-one around to hear/smell/taste it!


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  • #37
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    No they're not.
    anyone ever 'dutch oven' their partner in bed?


  • #38
    Aidric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,598 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    No they're not.
    Library farts ftw.


  • #39
    Dohnny Jepp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,444 ✭✭✭Dohnny Jepp


    No they're not.
    I actaully woke myself up with a fart last night!!!!


  • #40
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    No they're not.
    Nothing worse than the 'String of pearls' the fcuker that goes off as a 'parp....paaarp..parp...perp...paaaaarp.prp.rpp pp pp pp.

    Fcuker I was playing golf with shook himself and unloaded one of these halfway down the first fairway last summer.

    Cnunt probably had to bury the kex when he went home.

    Whang of cabbage and turnip was odious:eek:


  • #41
    BluesBerry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,221 ✭✭✭BluesBerry


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    I am a lady.
    Ladies do not fart:pac:


    Its true we don't:pac::pac::pac::pac: Its just not possible


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  • #42
    m5ex9oqjawdg2i
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,217 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    No they're not.
    alwaysadub wrote: »
    I am a lady.
    Ladies do not fart:pac:
    BluesBerry wrote: »
    Its true we don't:pac::pac::pac::pac: Its just not possible

    You're right, ye don't fart, ye cough in your knickers ;)


  • #43
    dubtom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,084 ✭✭✭dubtom


    Picture the scene,myself and two mates in a sauna,two older folk sitting there. A friendly conversation strikes up between us. One of the mates,mid sentence,lifts a cheek and lets out an almighty rasper and then continues talking as if nothing had happened.The look of utter disbelief and disgust on the oldies face was priceless,they said nothing and left. I nearly puked with the laughter.


  • #44
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    No they're not.
    FlutterinBantam wrote: »
    Nothing worse than the 'String of pearls' the fcuker that goes off as a 'parp....paaarp..parp...perp...paaaaarp.prp.rpp pp pp pp.

    Fcuker I was playing golf with shook himself and unloaded one of these halfway down the first fairway last summer.

    Cnunt probably had to bury the kex when he went home.

    Whang of cabbage and turnip was odious:eek:

    a string of pearls is also known as crop dusting


  • #45
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    No they're not.
    hate when you think ur about to fart and all of a sudden, its touching cloth, leggit to the jacks :eek::eek::eek:


  • #46
    smoochie06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 268 ✭✭smoochie06


    No they're not.
    They are funniest when you let one go in bed then trap the missus head under the blankets.


  • #47
    flahavaj
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,235 ✭✭✭✭flahavaj


    No they're not.
    Fanny farts are even funnier.


  • #48
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 45,738 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Farts are cool.

    Farts after a two day drinking session that go wrong and run down behind your knee are not cool :(


  • #49
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    No they're not.
    Farts are not to be sniffed at.


  • #50
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    No they're not.
    without a doubt, this is the funniest fart scene i have ever seen, ye gotta love nana :D

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzUqWerkBqc


  • #51
    Frisbee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,587 ✭✭✭✭Frisbee


    No they're not.
    Hilarious.


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  • #52
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    No they're not.
    flahavaj wrote: »
    Fanny farts are even funnier.


    No they're not :(


  • #53
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    No they're not.
    flahavaj wrote: »
    Fanny farts are even funnier.

    not when your down there, the devils breath as its called


  • #54
    3hn2givr7mx1sc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,838 ✭✭✭✭3hn2givr7mx1sc


    No they're not.
    Hilarious.
    The best is farting on a friends head when he's asleep and showing him the video the next day.:D


  • #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,160 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX4cGhQW5Ec


  • #56
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    No they're not.
    flahavaj wrote: »
    Fanny farts are even funnier.
    Can't believe i'm gonna share this but anyway, comedy value and all that. I ended up in bed with this fella i know and things were goin grand, until, we changed position and my vagina turned into a bagpipe. Everytime he thrusted, i emitted this earsplitting fart. Swear te god, nearly died. Thank god it happened with this certain fella because he just fell over laughin with me. Never in my life did i think that such noise could come out of my fanny. I'm now blushing thinkin about it!

    posted this before, yes fanny farts are hilarious, as long as theyre done infront of someone suitable! :o


  • #57
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    No they're not.
    rarnes1 wrote: »
    Farts are cool.

    Farts after a two day drinking session that go wrong and run down behind your knee are not cool :(

    there called sharts


  • #58
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    No they're not.
    Food and Guinness = devastating, thermonuclear farts, they always smell so wonderful. It is truly amazing that what we love ourselves, can clear a room of other occupants.


  • #59
    chughes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭chughes


    No they're not.
    Farts - sure they're great gas....


  • #60
    pikachucheeks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,488 ✭✭✭pikachucheeks


    A man who used to work with my dad told him this story ... Not sure why, because it doesn't exactly paint him in the most flattering light, but anyway...

    He was working late one night and was totally shattered at the end of the day.
    He went in to a tiny local shop, just before it closed, to pick up something for dinner, on his way home.
    Went to the freezer section and there was essentially feck all left, so he grabbed two boxes of Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages ; the best of a bad bunch.

    Got home, cooked all the sausages - about twenty of them - and fell asleep beside the fire.

    A few hours later, he woke up because the stench of his farts filling the room was so repulsive. He then proceeded to vomit everywhere, for hours on end.
    :pac:


    A lesson learned! I can't even look at the Linda McCartney food range without smirking.


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  • #61
    cute_cow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 636 ✭✭✭cute_cow


    No they're not.
    alwaysadub wrote: »
    I am a lady.
    Ladies do not fart:pac:

    I'm a lady
    I fart (lots)
    And whats more I laugh at my farts....

    Did one about 10 minutes ago and had to get the air freshner.....

    Perhaps "lady" is the wrong word :D


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