Worst excuse given for calling in sick

Bolag_the_2nd · 28-02-2010 11:43PM

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

i used the old " womens trouble" mega cramps, cant get out of bed, doubled up with pain, i really laid it on thick, female boss, i was caught out on camera on the six news at the 4 courts walking past with a friend with bags of shopping, i kept the job but never took another sickey.:mad:

the worst thing was it was repeated on the 9 o clock news and the 12.40 news, ooohhhh the shame

stovelid · 28-02-2010 11:44PM

irishhigh wrote: »

LOL yeah, Sorry my babys head is stuck in the bars of the gate to the stairs...:D

Hadn't thought of that one.

m@cc@ · 28-02-2010 11:45PM

El Weirdo wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning if I lost my glasses.

Train? Bus? Taxi? Airplane? Even if you were a couple of hours late, you could still turn in.

For Forks Sake · 28-02-2010 11:46PM

El Weirdo wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning if I lost my glasses.

Optician?

irishhigh · 28-02-2010 11:47PM

stovelid wrote: »

Hadn't thought of that one.

It's happened! when I was doing my training in crumlin childrens hospital a poor 18 month old had to be cut from the bars.... The family dog was on the stairs and the kid was trying to squeez in to play with the dog

Ostrom · 28-02-2010 11:47PM

Friend of mine once called in smelly

El Weirdo · 28-02-2010 11:48PM

m@cc@ wrote: »

Train? Bus? Taxi? Airplane?

Yeah, because the public transport system is THAT good in here in the west of Ireland.

Also, my eyesight is so bad that I wouldn't be able to do my job without my glasses or contacts.

Just saying that it wasn't that far-fetched to use that as an excuse.

Agent Smith · 28-02-2010 11:49PM

Years ago ( i was like, 16) i heard one of the girls calling in with a floating womb

no questions were asked

Dudess · 28-02-2010 11:49PM

stovelid wrote: »

It's actually almost worth having children just for the excuse-generation matrix they provide....

Apparently if you've just given birth to a baby, you get loads of time off straight after - even a bit beforehand if needs be. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me... :cool:

m@cc@ · 28-02-2010 11:50PM

El Weirdo wrote: »

Just saying that it wasn't that far-fetched to use that as an excuse.

It's an excuse to be a few hours late but the whole day, doesn't show much motivation to be there in the first place.

Dudess wrote: »

Apparently if you've just given birth to a baby, you get loads of time off straight after - even a bit beforehand if needs be. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me... :cool:

Wimmins get all the perks. :mad:

OutlawPete · 28-02-2010 11:52PM

Abitar wrote: »

I'm still seeing pink elephants..

Did you catch that in The Zoo bar ..

irishhigh · 28-02-2010 11:55PM

Agent Smith wrote: »

Years ago ( i was like, 16) i heard one of the girls calling in with a floating womb

no questions were asked

LoL that is just mental...I'm adopting that one:D

seanaor · 28-02-2010 11:55PM

Classic family guy... ''im sorry mr weed, i wont be at work today. I was in a horrific plane crash, my entire family was killed, and i am now a vegetable. Il see you tomorrow''

El Weirdo · 01-03-2010 12:01AM

m@cc@ wrote: »

It's an excuse to be a few hours late but the whole day, doesn't show much motivation to be there in the first place.

I have to drive from rural Sligo to Galway tomorrow morning.

I could get the bus, but I'd have to get a sherbert to Ballina first and then another one from the bus station in Galway out to the office.

That's €40 taxi to Ballina, €20 return bus ticket, €10 to the office.

Then there's the journey home.

I don't get paid enough to be THAT motivated tbh.

rainbowdrop · 01-03-2010 12:02AM

phlegms wrote: »

Erectile dysfunction.

But that wouldn't affect your ability to work.....unless your a man whore??

questionmark? · 01-03-2010 12:02AM

called the boss said my grandmother died, got found out !

so i said my other one died she didnt. found out.

Havent gone back to work since

urs

QM? aka s.ireland :cool:

m@cc@ · 01-03-2010 12:03AM

El Weirdo wrote: »

I have to drive from rural Sligo to Galway tomorrow morning.

I could get the bus, but I'd have to get a sherbert to Ballina first and then another one from the bus station in Galway out to the office.

That's €40 taxi to Ballina, €20 return bus ticket, €10 to the office.

Then there's the journey home.

I don't get paid enough to be THAT motivated tbh.

Keep a tight hold on those glasses then. Or else keep a emergency pair in a case by your bedside.

seven-iron · 01-03-2010 12:04AM

Before you leave your house drink two bottles of water. (Wait and See)

To be fair, the best excuse is a real one. A real excuse therefore must be witnessed by fellow employees to ensure authenticity. Furthermore, it must be shocking to guarantee the whole day off. Therefore, the only option which is plausable is to arrive into work all unassuming and when the moment allows; piss yourself (why water is needed). I would be suprised if you didnt get the day off after that.

irishhigh · 01-03-2010 12:04AM

questionmark? wrote: »

called the boss said my grandmother died, got found out !

so i said my other one died she didnt. found out.

Havent gone back to work since

urs

QM? aka s.ireland :cool:

Your poor Grandmother:( Bad boy

El Weirdo · 01-03-2010 12:05AM

m@cc@ wrote: »

Keep a tight hold on those glasses then. Or else keep a emergency pair in a case by your bedside.

Thanks boss.

So I'm ok to not come in tomorrow, then?

m@cc@ · 01-03-2010 12:06AM

questionmark? wrote: »

called the boss said my grandmother died, got found out !

I heard a story about a friend of a friend who had 3 or 4 grandmothers die on him.

I'm not one to call in sick when I'm feeling well. I did it once and I was rubbish at it, I'm crap at lying. :mad:

El Weirdo wrote: »

Thanks boss.

So I'm ok to not come in tomorrow, then?

That made no sense, much like your glasses explanation.

The_B_Man · 01-03-2010 12:13AM

I went into work a cupla hours late before. They saw how badly hungover/still drunk i was and sacked me a little while after that.
I wish i had've called in sick! Woulda still had that job!

Never used any decent ones for pulling sickies. I always go in when im dyin coz i'm a contractor so if i dont go in, i dont get paid! think once or twice i called in just saying i was "dyin".

El Weirdo · 01-03-2010 12:16AM

m@cc@ wrote: »

I heard a story about a friend of a friend who had 3 or 4 grandmothers die on him.

I'm not one to call in sick when I'm feeling well. I did it once and I was rubbish at it, I'm crap at lying. :mad:

That made no sense, much like your glasses explanation.

But I didn't explain how I lost my glasses. I just explained how it would be difficult for me to get to work without them.

magma69 · 01-03-2010 12:16AM

Aliens ate my homework so I can't come in.

BluesBerry · 01-03-2010 12:19AM

I never called in sick so to speak .........however if something was coming up that I needed a day off I would plan it in advance fake illness in the days leading up to it like feeling really under the weather complaining of headaches/backaches/arseaches whatever I could think off

I would make sure my boss knew this and let her see my "symptoms" getting worse throughout the day till she would send me home early and then get 2 days off to "recover" without the need of a doctors note

Capt'n Midnight · 01-03-2010 12:23AM

I worked with a guy whose wife was a doctor.

irishhigh · 01-03-2010 12:23AM

I just remembered years ago I was working in this hosptial and started seeing one of the I.T department guys there. We had been going out for about two months when we finally slept together. The next morning, lying in bed all loved up he said lets ditch work today and go for a nice drive to the countryside and have a nice lunch! So we had to call in sick, It was 7am so we knew the receptionist would be on to take the message and pass it on. (I knew her very well!) so he decided to go first and no bother he said he wasn't well and could she pass it on to the head of his department, I could hear her on the other end of the phone and I was dying....Then It was my turn so I rang and had the usual chat with the receptionist as I knew her well, I told her I wasn't well and could she please tell the ward manager I wouldn't be in! She said that's ok and say hi to xxxx beside you in the bed! I can hear him sniggering!!! LOL she was so sound she said nothing but teased me about it for ages:)

m@cc@ · 01-03-2010 12:25AM

El Weirdo wrote: »

But I didn't explain how I lost my glasses. I just explained how it would be difficult for me to get to work without them.

If I was a manager, I wouldn't be having someone telling they're missing the whole day of work because they lost their glasses. What would happen if they couldn't find them before the next day? You'd be best to at least look like you're trying to make it into work.

That reminds of another one, 'I can't come in because I've torn my trousers'.

Savage Tyrant · 01-03-2010 12:26AM

A friend of mine used to work in the offices for Celtic Football Club.... he once called in sick for work....then attended the match. Silly cunt. got the sack.

Sofaspud · 01-03-2010 12:38AM

I used to go out with a girl who lived with my then-manager.

Once, I was out in town with her, and myself, her and her friend stumbled into her house at about 6AM, completely pissed. I fully intended on going to work at 10.30 the next morning, as she kept confirming loudly right outside the manager's bedroom door.

The next morning, slightly worse for wear, I call in sick. Guess who answered the call . . .

Worst excuse given for calling in sick

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