Worst excuse given for calling in sick

irishhigh

Hi,
You wake up one morning and you just couldn't be arsed, You call work! what do you say? and did you ever get found out?

Royale with Cheese

Only ever done it once. Tell them you have the shíts, they won't ask many questions

445279.ie

I'm dying, didn't get found out

mikom

Cat aids.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Depends on your boss, I had one who was sound and I told him that I was getting the ride and he said 'Pin your ears back son! see you later'

El Weirdo

mikom wrote: »

Cat aids.

The worst type of AIDS.

super_furry

El Weirdo wrote: »

The worst type of AIDS.

Nope, tripple AIDS is. If you have AIDS, you can catch it again and get double AIDS which will cancel itself out and leave you healthy. Get it again - Tripple AIDS - and there's no cure.

Abi

irishhigh wrote: »

Hi,
You wake up one morning and you just couldn't be arsed, You call work! what do you say?

Can't come in. I'm still seeing pink elephants.

and did you ever get found out?

Well the above was pretty telling tbh.

alwaysadub

Tell them you've got the runs-they won't ask too many questions then.
I've never been found out,but my mam rang in sick for a few days, and was spotted by her boss in the audience of The Late Late Show

MagicMarker

I once told my teacher that I wouldn't be in school the next day because I had to go and buy a water gun. I was about 7.

I got my gun:cool:

irishhigh

The most stupid lie for not going to an exam in my first year in UCD was " Sorry I couldn't go in....Em...I had a "touch" of em... meningitis!!!! I don't know why I said that!!! The words just fell out my mouth.... I was caught!

irishhigh

alwaysadub wrote: »

Tell them you've got the runs-they won't ask too many questions then.
I've never been found out,but my mam rang in sick for a few days, and was spotted by her boss in the audience of The Late Late Show

Oh Shít. was she in trouble

El Weirdo

alwaysadub wrote: »

I've never been found out,but my mam rang in sick for a few days, and was spotted by her boss in the audience of The Late Late Show

In fairness, it was pretty stupid of her to go to the recording of one of the nation's most watched television shows.

GLaDOS

"I have smallpox!"

phlegms

Erectile dysfunction.

Bolag_the_2nd

i used the old " womens trouble" mega cramps, cant get out of bed, doubled up with pain, i really laid it on thick, female boss, i was caught out on camera on the six news at the 4 courts walking past with a friend with bags of shopping, i kept the job but never took another sickey.:mad:

Bonito

Twisted a testicle. :cool:

alwaysadub

irishhigh wrote: »

Oh Shít. was she in trouble

Nah her manager saw the funny side of it. She had been genuinely sick but had taken a couple of extra days sick to 'recover'. She tried to deny it was her at first but apparantly the camera kept zooming into her section of the audience

stovelid

My weak spot is that if I go into detail, I ramble and sounds fake.

A simple I feel sick/awful is always the best.

alwaysadub

El Weirdo wrote: »

In fairness, it was pretty stupid of her to go to the recording of one of the nation's most watched television shows.

She'd waited years to get tickets-wasn't gonna let an insignificent thing like work stop her from going

seanybiker

I suppose the worse would be ringing saying you are fine and dont want to go in.

we'llallhavetea_old

feckin terrible but, i rang in sick one day and said i had been in a small car accident, that i was fine but needed to be checked out in hospital.

couple of weeks later, used the same excuse, "you're not gonna believe this but...."

didn't get caught, well, i didn't get sacked anyway!

Dudess

My baby beat me up.

bronte

" My ear hurts and my neck hurts. I have two owies"

Dudess

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

i used the old " womens trouble" mega cramps, cant get out of bed, doubled up with pain, i really laid it on thick, female boss, i was caught out on camera on the six news at the 4 courts walking past with a friend with bags of shopping, i kept the job but never took another sickey.:mad:

I used that to get out of P.E. at school - every week.

Rud

my lad fell off

For Forks Sake

ScienceNerd wrote: »

"I have smallpox!"

"Yeah well it wasn't wiped out in my house"

stovelid

It's actually almost worth having children just for the excuse-generation matrix they provide....

m@cc@

I remember hearing that a colleague say they couldn't come in because they'd lost their glasses. That was classic.

irishhigh

stovelid wrote: »

It's actually almost worth having children just for the excuse-generation matrix they provide....

LOL yeah, Sorry my babys head is stuck in the bars of the gate to the stairs...:D

El Weirdo

m@cc@ wrote: »

I remember hearing that a colleague say they couldn't come in because they'd lost their glasses. That was classic.

Well I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning if I lost my glasses.

Bolag_the_2nd

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

i used the old " womens trouble" mega cramps, cant get out of bed, doubled up with pain, i really laid it on thick, female boss, i was caught out on camera on the six news at the 4 courts walking past with a friend with bags of shopping, i kept the job but never took another sickey.:mad:

the worst thing was it was repeated on the 9 o clock news and the 12.40 news, ooohhhh the shame

stovelid

irishhigh wrote: »

LOL yeah, Sorry my babys head is stuck in the bars of the gate to the stairs...:D

Hadn't thought of that one.

m@cc@

El Weirdo wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning if I lost my glasses.

Train? Bus? Taxi? Airplane? Even if you were a couple of hours late, you could still turn in.

For Forks Sake

El Weirdo wrote: »

Well I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning if I lost my glasses.

Optician?

irishhigh

stovelid wrote: »

Hadn't thought of that one.

It's happened! when I was doing my training in crumlin childrens hospital a poor 18 month old had to be cut from the bars.... The family dog was on the stairs and the kid was trying to squeez in to play with the dog

Ostrom

Friend of mine once called in smelly

El Weirdo

m@cc@ wrote: »

Train? Bus? Taxi? Airplane?

Yeah, because the public transport system is THAT good in here in the west of Ireland.

Also, my eyesight is so bad that I wouldn't be able to do my job without my glasses or contacts.

Just saying that it wasn't that far-fetched to use that as an excuse.

Agent Smith

Years ago ( i was like, 16) i heard one of the girls calling in with a floating womb


no questions were asked

Dudess

stovelid wrote: »

It's actually almost worth having children just for the excuse-generation matrix they provide....

Apparently if you've just given birth to a baby, you get loads of time off straight after - even a bit beforehand if needs be. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me... :cool:

m@cc@

El Weirdo wrote: »

Just saying that it wasn't that far-fetched to use that as an excuse.

It's an excuse to be a few hours late but the whole day, doesn't show much motivation to be there in the first place.

Dudess wrote: »

Apparently if you've just given birth to a baby, you get loads of time off straight after - even a bit beforehand if needs be. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me... :cool:

Wimmins get all the perks. :mad:

OutlawPete

Abitar wrote: »

I'm still seeing pink elephants..

Did you catch that in The Zoo bar ..

irishhigh

Agent Smith wrote: »

Years ago ( i was like, 16) i heard one of the girls calling in with a floating womb


no questions were asked

LoL that is just mental...I'm adopting that one:D

seanaor

Classic family guy... ''im sorry mr weed, i wont be at work today. I was in a horrific plane crash, my entire family was killed, and i am now a vegetable. Il see you tomorrow''

El Weirdo

m@cc@ wrote: »

It's an excuse to be a few hours late but the whole day, doesn't show much motivation to be there in the first place.

I have to drive from rural Sligo to Galway tomorrow morning.

I could get the bus, but I'd have to get a sherbert to Ballina first and then another one from the bus station in Galway out to the office.

That's €40 taxi to Ballina, €20 return bus ticket, €10 to the office.

Then there's the journey home.

I don't get paid enough to be THAT motivated tbh.

rainbowdrop

phlegms wrote: »

Erectile dysfunction.

But that wouldn't affect your ability to work.....unless your a man whore??

questionmark?

called the boss said my grandmother died, got found out !

so i said my other one died she didnt. found out.

Havent gone back to work since

urs

QM? aka s.ireland :cool:

m@cc@

El Weirdo wrote: »

I have to drive from rural Sligo to Galway tomorrow morning.

I could get the bus, but I'd have to get a sherbert to Ballina first and then another one from the bus station in Galway out to the office.

That's €40 taxi to Ballina, €20 return bus ticket, €10 to the office.

Then there's the journey home.

I don't get paid enough to be THAT motivated tbh.

Keep a tight hold on those glasses then. Or else keep a emergency pair in a case by your bedside.

seven-iron

Before you leave your house drink two bottles of water. (Wait and See)

To be fair, the best excuse is a real one. A real excuse therefore must be witnessed by fellow employees to ensure authenticity. Furthermore, it must be shocking to guarantee the whole day off. Therefore, the only option which is plausable is to arrive into work all unassuming and when the moment allows; piss yourself (why water is needed). I would be suprised if you didnt get the day off after that.

irishhigh

questionmark? wrote: »

called the boss said my grandmother died, got found out !

so i said my other one died she didnt. found out.

Havent gone back to work since

urs

QM? aka s.ireland :cool:

Your poor Grandmother:( Bad boy

El Weirdo

m@cc@ wrote: »

Keep a tight hold on those glasses then. Or else keep a emergency pair in a case by your bedside.

Thanks boss.


So I'm ok to not come in tomorrow, then?