Share your embarrassing stories here

Bazzy · 26-02-2010 03:35PM

oeb wrote: »

I'm really embarrassed about this. So much so, I feel like posting about it in PI. At the moment, 3 feet away from me, is a really hot, naked woman. But I am so hung up about the ex that I can't bring myself to do something about it and I said "Ohh, one tic, I need to do something on the computer" (about 20 min ago). So now I am posting in AH, cause that's pretty much what everyone does who has nothing better to do than stall for time on the computer =/

I think I am broken.

So, let's hijack this PI style.

Vote please, should I get back in bed and do something about it, or should I stay here on AH like a fag?

back into the scratcher

irishh_bob · 26-02-2010 03:49PM

while on a weekend city break in barcelona a few years back , i came down to the hotel restaraunt one morning ( after a previous nights heavy drinking ) and while in a quee i accidently stepped to one side and walked into one of those what looks like a shallow swimming pool things that are often in the 1st floor of hotels

xw2lj9uspm1eyh · 26-02-2010 04:05PM

I was leaving working down in cork finished up on a Friday and had to get the bus home(2hr trip).Got on the bus and sat down the seat beside me was free so as the bus pulled off I fell asleep
Half way through the journey woke up with cramp in my leg started to lift it up and down to get the blood moving.But wasn't there a gal beside me and i was rubbing my leg with hers.She gave me the evils,I blushed said sorry and pretended to go back asleep.She got up made a smart comment and moved:o.The rest of the journey home seemed to take ages...

krustydoyle · 26-02-2010 04:32PM

ok here we go....

Met a girl out 1 night and we ended up back at her place... i was hammered drunk and i was in no way getting it up for anyone... so we're in bed and its going ok except for the fact that im playing pool with a rope.. nothing was working and i`m trying not to panic but thats easier said than done.. then comes the panic sweating followed by me saying id go down on her to take the focus away from me.. so i`m down there and all of a sudden i get this really bad taste in my mouth... what she'd forgotten to tell me was that she had her period and that's what the funny taste in my mouth was... Que me throwing up all over her and the bed.. all i remember is getting dressed and leaving.. i still see her now and again... i just shudder and remember that taste in my mouth... :eek::eek::(

Bonito · 26-02-2010 04:35PM

Thanks....I was eating....

krustydoyle · 26-02-2010 04:54PM

and i have a habit of asking before i go down now... haha.. sorry man.:D

Bonito · 26-02-2010 04:55PM

krustydoyle wrote: »

and i have a habit of asking before i go down now... haha.. sorry man.:D

A habit of asking "can I" or "are you on the rag"

If it's the 1st one, I've always been like that. Too polite for my own good

powerfade · 26-02-2010 05:06PM

krustydoyle wrote: »

ok here we go....

Met a girl out 1 night and we ended up back at her place... i was hammered drunk and i was in no way getting it up for anyone... so we're in bed and its going ok except for the fact that im playing pool with a rope.. nothing was working and i`m trying not to panic but thats easier said than done.. then comes the panic sweating followed by me saying id go down on her to take the focus away from me.. so i`m down there and all of a sudden i get this really bad taste in my mouth... what she'd forgotten to tell me was that she had her period and that's what the funny taste in my mouth was... Que me throwing up all over her and the bed.. all i remember is getting dressed and leaving.. i still see her now and again... i just shudder and remember that taste in my mouth... :eek::eek::(

You think thats bad, mines from the totally opposite end of the spectrum.... this is very disgusting and very true......... fcuk it I'm gonna tell the full true story, warning very very disgusting.....

Whilst in the throes of passion one night with a girl from college, we were totally bladdered, I thought I felt something sore and that the sex was wet and messy, but it was really good so didn't think anything of it. Woke up in the morning, minus my banjo string and blood everywhere, she woke up first and saw it, then I noticed it and then we both pretended we didn't notice. She gets up and says she's going for a shower. I mean blood everywhere, all over us, duvet and sheets destroyed, I don't know how I lived through the night there was so much blood everywhere... She comes back in after her shower, get this APLOGISING for bleeding everywhere, while she was in the shower it was flowing out of her apparently and she thinks she may have been cut or something. So I let on that it must have been her and make my excuses to leave, she thinks I'm leaving because of what happened and try's to get me to stay by kissing and messing around... Unfortunately, I start to get aroused and she proceeds to relieve this pressure, anyways to make a long story short I can feel it kinda wet down there so I know the bleeding has recommenced... As she finishes, and as I finish there is now a pool of two not very nice liquids resting and coagulating on her stomach, I take a look down and say, I quote 'I think it was me'....... We still saw each other for a while after kinda laughed about it. I couldn't piss for 3 days without being in agony. But worst of all, I made the foolish, naive and schoolboy mistake of telling my buddies about it, leading to smart quips about my lack of a banjo string, and guaranteed on every session they will stand up and start a version of that banjo duel from Deliverance.

Bonito · 26-02-2010 05:12PM

Same thing happened me on my 1st time.

Lets just say she was EXTREMELY tight. I pushed too quick and was soon in agony!

Took fúckin' ages to heal up too! By jaysus I had some muscle in my tongue in fingers by the end of those couple of weeks :pac:

Doc said it's actually more common than you'd think it's just ALOT of lads don't bother their barney going to the docs when it happens.

ScumLord · 26-02-2010 05:16PM

One time I saved planet earth from evil aliens all by myself so I did. President held a parade in my honer and gave me a big shiny medal, it was so embarrassing. I was only doing whatever anyone with superpowers would have done in my position... up, up and away...

powerfade · 26-02-2010 05:26PM

Bonito wrote: »

Same thing happened me on my 1st time.

Lets just say she was EXTREMELY tight. I pushed too quick and was soon in agony!

Took fúckin' ages to heal up too! By jaysus I had some muscle in my tongue in fingers by the end of those couple of weeks :pac:

Doc said it's actually more common than you'd think it's just ALOT of lads don't bother their barney going to the docs when it happens.

Ya it's happened to a couple of my friends since, but not as sever and the consequnces after weren't as bad. I didn't even know it could happen until it did.....I miss my banjo string!!

krustydoyle · 26-02-2010 05:38PM

powerfade wrote: »

You think thats bad, mines from the totally opposite end of the spectrum.... this is very disgusting and very true......... fcuk it I'm gonna tell the full true story, warning very very disgusting.....

Whilst in the throes of passion one night with a girl from college, we were totally bladdered, I thought I felt something sore and that the sex was wet and messy, but it was really good so didn't think anything of it. Woke up in the morning, minus my banjo string and blood everywhere, she woke up first and saw it, then I noticed it and then we both pretended we didn't notice. She gets up and says she's going for a shower. I mean blood everywhere, all over us, duvet and sheets destroyed, I don't know how I lived through the night there was so much blood everywhere... She comes back in after her shower, get this APLOGISING for bleeding everywhere, while she was in the shower it was flowing out of her apparently and she thinks she may have been cut or something. So I let on that it must have been her and make my excuses to leave, she thinks I'm leaving because of what happened and try's to get me to stay by kissing and messing around... Unfortunately, I start to get aroused and she proceeds to relieve this pressure, anyways to make a long story short I can feel it kinda wet down there so I know the bleeding has recommenced... As she finishes, and as I finish there is now a pool of two not very nice liquids resting and coagulating on her stomach, I take a look down and say, I quote 'I think it was me'....... We still saw each other for a while after kinda laughed about it. I couldn't piss for 3 days without being in agony. But worst of all, I made the foolish, naive and schoolboy mistake of telling my buddies about it, leading to smart quips about my lack of a banjo string, and guaranteed on every session they will stand up and start a version of that banjo duel from Deliverance.

Ive a pain in me willy after reading that... OUCH!!!!!!:(

sbsquarepants · 26-02-2010 05:54PM

Came home one sunday afternoon many moons ago, when i still lived at home. Had been scooping since friday on and off and was well the worst for wear so i went to bed. Woke up later on mad thirsty, was pitch dark so i assumed it was night time, got up and walked to kitchen to get a drink, only to fing my ma and 3 of her sisters sitting at the table, said quick hello, got bottle of coke from fridge and went back to bed still half asleep, only copped when i got back to bed that not only was i still twisted drunk, but i was also naked and sporting a full on boner!! Still hear about this at family do's, it was about 15 years ago!

They don't mention the boner, so maybe that only happened on way back up - jesus i hope it did

Blitzkrieger · 26-02-2010 08:38PM

So which of your aunties do you hope caused your boner?

irishhigh · 26-02-2010 09:00PM

I went into a clothes shop to look for a business suit in a very small town where I live in as I got a job interview at very short notice for a postion in Dublin that I really wanted. Needless to say the shop is doing little to no business and the woman behind the counter was very happy to see a customer. She straight away said to me anything you want I'll take money off (she sounded desprate to make a sale). None of the clothes where anywhere near suitable, She came over and asked she could help me, I said no because I'm looking for a suit for a job interview!

She didn't hear the word suit! just looking for a job interview. It took me awhile to figure this out as she was ranting and raving that I had a cheek to come into her shop looking for an interview when she could just about keep herself employed. When I corrected her saying I was looking for clothes not a job in her shop she shouted at me some more saying I should speak more clearly! So I just turned around and went to walk out, she called after me "I'm sorry, where are you going"? I replied over to the medical centre to get you a hearing aid and some valium!:rolleyes:

Bob Z · 27-02-2010 01:07AM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

How do new people always discover and resurrect the zombie threads :eek:

yea its embarrassing isnt it?

Elliemental · 27-02-2010 01:11AM

I was drunk in a nightclub, bumped in to a full length mirror, and apologised to myself. It wouldn't have been so bad, but there was girl standing at the sinks who burst out laughing when it happened. Still, at least I didn't try and start a fight with myself.

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