Logical Intelligence and Social Intelligence

Red_Marauder · 14-02-2010 04:00PM #1

I was at a family house party last night and I brought along some acquaintances, sort of, by accident.
They're very intelligent guys and work in the physical sciences. They obviously have a very deep spatial and logical intelligence, but their social skills were exasperatingly bad, as became clear as the night progressed.

In short, they spent the early part of the evening loudly bickering over the pedantics of something far too tedious and technical to try and recount here.
The rest of the evening was spent failing to reciprocate with any stilted conversation that was tried on them - or else, later - belittling religious faith in a rather rude, mocking way around some of the older guests.

Bad social skills, or inability to understand tact or how to handle a conversation seem completely lost on some people.

I know I might get slated for suggesting this on an internet forum, but, do you consider this to be a problem disproportionately related to those who may be very spetially aware or technically minded?

I don't think it's a question of intelligence alone - since intelligence is made up of a variety of components - social intelligence among them in my opinion.
But this is a pattern I have always noticed with my circle of friends or acquaintances. The most spatially intelligent people I know are usually the most socially inept. I'm not trying to be critical of anyone, just wondering what people think or if you have made similiar observations.

Fago! · 14-02-2010 04:03PM

That post was way too long.

I do know what you mean, but I know a few people like that who have great social skills. It depends on the person.

IvySlayer · 14-02-2010 04:05PM

I find that smarter people don't have common sense.

Einstein, brilliant at at physics, couldn't do simple arithmetic.

Antbert · 14-02-2010 04:06PM

*Shrug* Sounds like a good party to me.

My name is URL · 14-02-2010 04:06PM

All I know is that spetially isn't a word

Antbert · 14-02-2010 04:07PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

I find that smartest people don't have common sense. Einstein, brilliant at at physics, couldn't do simple arithmetic.

Arithmetic isn't "common sense". Some people just have difficulty visualising the numbers to add together. Common sense is like... Don't cross the road in rush hour traffic.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 14-02-2010 04:07PM

Too much time in the comfort zone to be honest...

The thing is that, when a kid is growing up, it's all about intellectual intelligence. Everything else is second rate. Study, learn, get a job, get a good salary and people think you're successful. Doesn't matter how depressed, scoially unintelligent (I won't say thick) you are. We just assume kids will pick that up with friends, family and so on, but do nothing to try and ehlp when it turns out that the kids are natually shy or just not good at reading social situations.

The education system needs to be a bit more rounded. Not just logical/intellectual and social intelligence, but others as well.

Said this ages ago and get labled a PC-liberal-pinko-whatever.

stovelid · 14-02-2010 04:09PM

Sounds like you attend riveting parties.

Fago! · 14-02-2010 04:10PM

My name is URL wrote: »

All I know is that spetially isn't a word

Yeth it ith. Ith pronounthed "Thpecial"

IvySlayer · 14-02-2010 04:10PM

Antbert wrote: »

Arithmetic isn't "common sense". Some people just have difficulty visualising the numbers to add together. Common sense is like... Don't cross the road in rush hour traffic.

I never said it was.

I myself can't do maths. Or physics. Or tie my shoelaces

I make up for it in other areas though, computers, biology, gisting.

dublin 16 lad · 14-02-2010 04:10PM

I think it depends entirely on your upbringing tbh. If you're parents or siblings are odd balls who are slightly inept socially, there is a higher chance their children will be oddballs, regardless of intelligence imo

Antbert · 14-02-2010 04:11PM

The IT Crowd is funny for a reason. That reason being, yes, the stereotype you describe does exist.

Dudess · 14-02-2010 04:12PM

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

I begged my cousin to confirm he was sh1tting me, but he is adamant this is true.

citizen_p · 14-02-2010 04:13PM

i know people like that....they cant have a laugh ,standing in corners, talking to the same people they talk to all day and not tryng to socialize with others.

Antbert · 14-02-2010 04:13PM

Dudess wrote: »

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

I begged my cousin to confirm he was sh1tting me, but he is adamant this is true.

Haha that is brilliant. I would befriend your cousin.

Maybe I AM your cousin...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 14-02-2010 04:13PM

dublin 16 lad wrote: »

I think it depends entirely on your upbringing tbh. If you're parents or siblings are odd balls who are slightly inept socially, there is a higher chance their children will be oddballs, regardless of intelligence imo

Doubt it. Some kids are just natually shy. There's lots of families that have kids that are social and friendly along side kids who are academic and probbaly a bit reserved at social events.

DublinWriter · 14-02-2010 04:14PM

Dudess wrote: »

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

Complete BS - actuaries don't do 'random'.

JPA · 14-02-2010 04:15PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

I find that smarter people don't have common sense.

Einstein, brilliant at at physics, couldn't do simple arithmetic.

http://www.time.com/time/2007/einstein/3.html

Cianos · 14-02-2010 04:16PM

You're assessing these people based upon your own social expectations. Maybe they don't think it's socially stimulating to 'have the craic' or yap on about matters that most people would find themselves talking about to others simply because they are easily established commonalities between people.

hooradiation · 14-02-2010 04:17PM

Dudess wrote: »

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

I begged my cousin to confirm he was sh1tting me, but he is adamant this is true.

And?

Sounds like a pretty decent idea to me, saves on the tedious "where shall we go" conversations.

GLaDOS · 14-02-2010 04:18PM

Dudess wrote: »

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

I begged my cousin to confirm he was sh1tting me, but he is adamant this is true.

I think that's brilliant

Cianos wrote: »

You're assessing these people based upon your own social expectations. Maybe they don't think it's socially stimulating to 'have the craic' or yap on about matters that most people would find themselves talking about to others simply because they are easily established commonalities between people.

Agree with this, you seem to assume they weren't enjoying themselves just because you wouldn't have acted that way.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 14-02-2010 04:20PM

Yea op, I have a few mates like that too. Would rather watch star trek instead of going to the pub. That's fair enough, but, when there is a gathering in our house, I have to explain to other people his behaviour and that he is fairly ok. Some of my mates have no idea how to make new friends, they cannot talk to women, they don't understand relationships and how to act in a group. They are socially retarded. Then they wonder why they don't have many friends, they don't have many female friends and why they are still virgins. They ain't ugly, just stupid when it comes to social events.

I mean, I could knock on my mates door and he would tell me "don't come in dude, i'm having a ****"... He could tell my girlfriend this too if she knocks on his door...

I mean, wtf. I position these people very low on the scale of intelligence. You don't tell people you are poping one off.

Now they understand, better than I do, a lot of sciences. They work really well with computers and have a large knowledge base of space orientated stuff.

They don't understand a lot about "real" things, like law, economics, budgeting, how to bargain or deal with people appropiately. Things which most people use every day, they wouldn't have a clue.

I normally say "sure if they are happy with it" but they are not. They are often very depressed and the likes, I try to explain to them that not everyone likes nebulas or quantom physics. When you are chatting a woman up, they don't need to hear about that time the lads caught you popping one off.

To me, and many others, it seems perfectly logical to NOT say this type of thing, but some of them just don't understand what's so wrong with it...

Red_Marauder · 14-02-2010 04:23PM

Cianos wrote: »

Maybe they don't think it's socially stimulating to 'have the craic' or yap on about matters that most people would find themselves talking about to others in a social setting because they are easily established commonalities between people.

I don't think the great questions of the day like "Superquinn or Dunnes?", "Pat Kenny or Gay Byrne?", "Dessert Wine or Sherry?" are particularly engaging topics.

Nevertheless if I was at a party and some old dear wanted to try them on with me I'd simply humour her. I don't know, whatever about social intelligence, isn't that just good manners?

Red_Marauder · 14-02-2010 04:25PM

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Too much time in the comfort zone to be honest...

The thing is that, when a kid is growing up, it's all about intellectual intelligence. Everything else is second rate. Study, learn, get a job, get a good salary and people think you're successful. Doesn't matter how depressed, scoially unintelligent (I won't say thick) you are. We just assume kids will pick that up with friends, family and so on, but do nothing to try and ehlp when it turns out that the kids are natually shy or just not good at reading social situations.

The education system needs to be a bit more rounded. Not just logical/intellectual and social intelligence, but others as well.

Said this ages ago and get labled a PC-liberal-pinko-whatever.

Yeah I agree with this, I think education has a lot to do with it. We don't encourage social interaction or extra curricular skills half enough in the educational system.

Sheeps · 14-02-2010 04:27PM

Some of the smartest people I know are also some of the soundest people I know. It seems you simply encountered a bunch of lame nerds. I know lots of socially inept people and not all of them are incredibly smart either. Some of them have literally nothing going for them.

Cianos · 14-02-2010 04:28PM

Red_Marauder wrote: »

I don't think the great questions of the day like "Superquinn or Dunnes?", "Pat Kenny or Gay Byrne?", "Dessert Wine or Sherry?" are particularly engaging topics.

Nevertheless if I was at a party and some old dear wanted to try them on with me I'd simply humour her. I don't know, whatever about social intelligence, isn't that just good manners?

Well manners are something different. One can have the ability to humour conversation that doesn't interest them, but still choose not to because it's tedious.

TPD · 14-02-2010 04:29PM

Dudess wrote: »

My cousin is an actuary and his workmates decide where they'll go for lunch via a spreadsheet - "Random lunch generator" they call it.

I begged my cousin to confirm he was sh1tting me, but he is adamant this is true.

I was tempted to write a phone app for the same reason

nyarlothothep · 14-02-2010 04:30PM

Meh, small talk is so boring, I can't talk about irrelevant stuff on nights out, I'd rather discuss politics, science, philosophy, star trek or movies like Star Trek 6, Robocop or Desperado. I don't blame other people who aren't interested in talking about topics which are deemed to be "social." Yeah obviously some of the stuff mentioned on here is ridiculous in a social situation. Also I find it dubious that girls can't talk about science/philosophy/politics/literature, this is untrue in my experience although it may be applicable to certain personality types. I guess if your in a fish out of water situation do as the romans do and make a hasty retreat.

14-02-2010 04:31PM

Mocking religion is bad form in front of the older generations. That's so obvious that it's amazing some people don't cop it to drop the conversation.

I just feel sorry for the people with neither.. Of course implying I have at least one. :cool:

dsmythy · 14-02-2010 04:34PM

Reminds me of the whole genius and insanity thing. It seems for scientific progress to be made individuals must exist who have the ability to do it at the expense of their own happiness. It's almost a noble sacrifice.

Antbert wrote: »

Arithmetic isn't "common sense". Some people just have difficulty visualising the numbers to add together. Common sense is like... Don't cross the road in rush hour traffic.

My name is URL wrote: »

All I know is that spetially isn't a word

Were you two at the party?

14-02-2010 04:39PM

nyarlothothep wrote: »

Meh, small talk is so boring, I can't talk about irrelevant stuff on nights out, I'd rather discuss politics, science, philosophy, star trek or movies like Star Trek 6, Robocop or Desperado. I don't blame other people who aren't interested in talking about topics which are deemed to be "social." Yeah obviously some of the stuff mentioned on here is ridiculous in a social situation. Also I find it dubious that girls can't talk about science/philosophy/politics/literature, this is untrue in my experience although it may be applicable to certain personality types. I guess if your in a fish out of water situation do as the romans do and make a hasty retreat.

Small talk is the way to get to know someone.. If you talk to someone new about politics for an hour, you have learned nothing about them or what's going on in their lives.

The Streets - Weak become Heroes
"Where you from, what you on and what's your story"

Logical Intelligence and Social Intelligence

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