Is wine essential for a wedding?

Alliandre · 27-01-2010 11:47PM #1

My H2B and I are both non-drinkers so we find the idea of forking out hundreds on wine for the wedding a bit pointless. Do people always expect wine at a wedding? Would it be bad if we didn't provide wine with the meal? We're trying to save money wherever possible.

Glowing · 28-01-2010 12:40AM

If it was an irish wedding, then I'd say Yes.

You could perhaps save money on not having a choice on the menu perhaps, but I think it'd be odd if I didn't get a glass of wine at least with my meal (esp if it was a sit down meal).

Just my opinion though

Witcher · 28-01-2010 12:43AM

Could also just get water and ask Jesus to help ya out:)

Alliandre · 28-01-2010 12:45AM

Blay wrote: »

Could also just get water and ask Jesus to help ya out:)

Well it's a civil ceremony so that probably wouldn't work.

Tiesto · 28-01-2010 12:46AM

yes of course. Would look fairly tight if you were to leave out the wine just to save a few quid.. Im sure the majority would enjoy a glass with their meal, even though you dont drink.

Nasty_Girl · 28-01-2010 12:48AM

Will your venue allow you to bring your own?

We brought our own and they waived the corkage, we spent eff all on the wine and there was even some left over!

twowheelsonly · 28-01-2010 02:37AM

Nasty_Girl wrote: »

Will your venue allow you to bring your own?

We brought our own and they waived the corkage, we spent eff all on the wine and there was even some left over!

+1 on that.
If they offer free corkage try to get it in writing though!!
Last thing you want is a big surprise on the end of your bill or a big argument in the middle of your reception.

How Strange · 28-01-2010 09:21AM

Alliandre wrote: »

My H2B and I are both non-drinkers so we find the idea of forking out hundreds on wine for the wedding a bit pointless. Do people always expect wine at a wedding? Would it be bad if we didn't provide wine with the meal? We're trying to save money wherever possible.

I'd be inclined to say yes it would look bad. I think most guests would expect a glass of wine with their meal. You don't have to go overboard on wine. We're allowing half a bottle per person but you could allow a quarter bottle per person which is about a glass.

littleredspot · 28-01-2010 09:52AM

Not quite the same thing but...Myself and my wife don't drink wine, so we didn't want to serve it, I would however be known for my love liking of cider. Our hotel was very amenable so we brought our own (and paid corkage) magnums of sparkling perry (which is very cheap), which everyone thought was gorgeous.

I wouldn't skimp on the quantities though. I was amazed how many people commented on the generous size of the glasses and how regularly they were topped up.

One way we saved a lot of money was by not buying a round for the toast, but we asked the staff to keep topping up wine glasses at the speech time.

carolinespring · 28-01-2010 10:24AM

I was at a wedding years ago, where no wine was served with the meal and to this day (16/17 years ago) when anyone I know talks about the wedding its about the fact that no wine was served.

I was at a wedding a couple of years ago that put 1/4 bottles of ine on the table so anyone who wanted some could have it and and it didnt cost as much but did look a little cheap. I was also at another wedding where the Bride and Groom didnt drink wine but loved beer and they had a beers of the world thing going on with dbeers from a different country at each table. It was good fun and a good talking point for the guests as what country did you get etc

Clareman · 28-01-2010 12:17PM

I'd agree with it looking a bit mean no to serve wine, there are certain things people expect at a wedding and if they don't get it they complain, not to you but they'll make comments. Keep an eye out for special offers on wine, they have them from time to time, also, you can get it a couple of months in advance, when we got married each pay day we'd get something, 1 month it was the flowers, another it was the invites, another the wine, you don't feel it so much if you can spread it out.

Also, you could ask someone to pay for the wine as their wedding present to you, maybe a couple of brothers and sisters could club together, better than getting a mirror or something off them

NextSteps · 28-01-2010 01:44PM

I think it would look mean. Most people like a glass of wine with a meal.

Barracudaincork · 28-01-2010 05:50PM

Not serving wine because you dont drink, is like not serving meat because you are vegetarian.

You will look both mean and crazy IMO and it will be the one thing guests talk about when they think of your wedding, sad but true, thats just the way humans are Im afraid.

Alliandre · 28-01-2010 06:07PM

Hmmm, I guess we'll be having wine then. Maybe it won't be so bad if we can find a place that won't charge corkage. I never really hear of anyone using the hotels wine. Is it generally more expensive than bringing in your own, even with corkage?

tellingeye · 28-01-2010 06:19PM

If you buy your own it can still work out cheaper, maybe buy it up north or in England! Booze cruise!!! sorce it yourself and try and haggle with the hotel on corkage! It's a buyers market out there right now especially in the hotel industry.

You really do need to have some form of drink, I went to a wedding where there was no wine! People couldn't believe it and people had to order their own even for the toasts. Some people didn't raise their glass, there was nothing in them!!!!!!!!!!! So embarrassing for everyone.
Turned out to be a very sober and boring affair and by 11 o'clock more than half the guest left.

antiskeptic · 28-01-2010 07:06PM

Alliandre wrote: »

Hmmm, I guess we'll be having wine then.

A good conclusion to arrive at methinks.

Maybe it won't be so bad if we can find a place that won't charge corkage. I never really hear of anyone using the hotels wine. Is it generally more expensive than bringing in your own, even with corkage?

Remember that the mark-up on wine is just one of the ways in which the venue makes their margin. The thing to bear in mind is haggling about the overall cost - not just the corkage. There's no harm in them charging you a little corkage (so that their happy) and you do the legword to source some decent wine cheap. We had our reception at a restaurant and used one of the house red/white. The price per bottle was 25 quid, whilst the same wine could be found online for 2.95!

If you don't know anything about wine, find someone who does. You've moved from the curious position of considering having no wine at all. The next task is to make sure not to fall into the trap of supplying vinegar - merely because it's cheap. If you don't know a wine expert you could do worse than check out the online wine list of a top restaurant and source one of their house red&whites yourself. L'Ecrivain's sommalier (wine expert/buyer) won the Sommalier of the Year this year apparently, so you could do worse than try their list.

Clareman · 28-01-2010 10:46PM

The 1 big advantage you'll have by using the hotel's wine is that you won't be left with cases and cases of the stuff afterwards that won't be any use to you, you could explain that you don't drink and aren't really sure about wine and see what they are willing to do

Barracudaincork · 29-01-2010 01:02PM

Try and buy your wine on a use or return basis, i have known people to do this. Be careful if you are buying your wine from outside the republic as the hotel may request proof that duty has been paid on that wine. So the price you see may not be the price you pay.

First step would be is to go into an off licence which has a good selection of wines and speak to them, as no doubt they would have dealt with your situation before and its a place to start, they will give you food for thought etc

tatli_lokma · 29-01-2010 07:49PM

sorry, but I disagree. This whole idea that you MUST have wine at your wedding is a load of my arse!
We didn't have wine at our wedding. This was on the advise of a family friend who is a silver service waitress and works at A LOT of weddings. Her advice, is that a lot of people are VERY fussy about what wine they drink. It is hard to choose a wine which everyone will enjoy. As a result she said the majority of the bottles are drunk by about half the guests. Many guests will not drink wine all night, and those on pints won't want to mix, so will get a pint instead.

Her advise was that it can turn out to be a waste of money.

Instead we gave 2 open toasts, one with the meal and one for the toast. This allowed everyone to choose their drink. When we calculated it it cost the same as providing a 1/2 bottle of wine per person.

I think people expect a drink with their dinner, but it does NOT have to be wine.

A lot of the lads at our wedding said it was great to be offered a pint, cos they don't drink wine. Those who don't drink or were driving were not left out because they got their choice of drink - by choosing wine you are only giving wine drinkers a free drink, by giving an open toast then you are giving everyone a drink.

tinkerbell · 29-01-2010 10:24PM

I would always have thought that you need to have wine at a wedding. I don't drink wine myself and neither does my partner but that wouldn't stop me having wine for other guests.

oxegen85 · 29-01-2010 10:53PM

Cincikchick wrote: »

sorry, but I disagree. This whole idea that you MUST have wine at your wedding is a load of my arse!
We didn't have wine at our wedding. This was on the advise of a family friend who is a silver service waitress and works at A LOT of weddings. Her advice, is that a lot of people are VERY fussy about what wine they drink. It is hard to choose a wine which everyone will enjoy. As a result she said the majority of the bottles are drunk by about half the guests. Many guests will not drink wine all night, and those on pints won't want to mix, so will get a pint instead.

Her advise was that it can turn out to be a waste of money.

Instead we gave 2 open toasts, one with the meal and one for the toast. This allowed everyone to choose their drink. When we calculated it it cost the same as providing a 1/2 bottle of wine per person.

I think people expect a drink with their dinner, but it does NOT have to be wine.

A lot of the lads at our wedding said it was great to be offered a pint, cos they don't drink wine. Those who don't drink or were driving were not left out because they got their choice of drink - by choosing wine you are only giving wine drinkers a free drink, by giving an open toast then you are giving everyone a drink.

I agree... Ive only been to 2 weddings but both didnt serve wine which I thought was better. Instead of having wine thrown at ya (and I like wine) you could choose any drink you wanted. Thats just my opinion anyway.

kizzabel · 30-01-2010 04:54PM

we have decided to forego wine.

the majority of our friends dont drink wine, would prefer to have their pint / vodka / whatever so we just dont see the point

my nephew works banqueting in a hotel and has told me the amount of wine thrown out at the weddings hes served in the last 3 years is sinful.

is it mean that we dont plan on doing a round of drinks either?

we may go down another road and buy something like the sparkling perry AP suggested but i dont feel the need.

the last few weddings i was at i tasted the white, thought it fairly rotten and went to buy my usual tipple. it differs from person to person as regards what they like and it seems like an uphill struggle to please everyone!

emma82 · 30-01-2010 08:21PM

Oh dear- this has me worried! Neither me nor the OH like wine at all! Horrible- hate the stuff!!!
We were planning on having a champagne reception as guests go in plus a drinks voucher for one drink and then a toast drink or just give 2 vouchers on way in. Would people still be giving out if there is no wine on table? I have been to a few weddings where there was no wine on tables and it didn't bother me but then i dont drink wine???

Toots · 30-01-2010 08:36PM

I don't think 'wine' is essential, however I'd say it's essential to provide some sort of drink for the meal, could be either bottles on the table, or a round or two during the meal. It will look pretty stingy if there's just water at the table and your guests are expected to fork out for their own dinner drinks. We're doing the 'half bottle of wine per person' for the meal, and then open toast for the speeches. My parents are wine buffs so I've assigned them the task of choosing good wines. Most of our families are wine drinkers so this options suits us best. I should add at this point that both my OH and myself only drink very very ocassionally and we've both said we probably won't drink on our wedding day.

Guell72 · 30-01-2010 08:47PM

Ive been at 2 weddings since the summer. One where no drinks were provided for the guests. Among my friends it had become affectionately know as "The recession wedding" and will be forever. Nobody says "remember X and Ys wedding". Its Remember "the recession wedding". A bit mean, but thats life.

The other wedding was one drink and people give out about that one all the time too, but as yet it hasnt been named

I can understand people trying to cut costs, but remember, your guests have paid a lot to share your day with you too. Why add another expense to their day too.

Oh, and cheap wine will be even less welcome than than no wine.

Swampy · 30-01-2010 10:32PM

Just make sure you serve some form of booze. A wedding without booze would be a very dry affair in every sense of the word.

Also, I wouldn't go down the drink voucher route. I'd rather give nothing than use drink vouchers.

oxegen85 · 30-01-2010 11:36PM

just have an open toast round of drinks and another free round of drink during the meal... thats what we're doing which i think is plenty and is actually costing slightly more than if we done the half bottle person..

tatli_lokma · 31-01-2010 03:48PM

kizzabel wrote: »

we have decided to forego wine.

the majority of our friends dont drink wine, would prefer to have their pint / vodka / whatever so we just dont see the point

my nephew works banqueting in a hotel and has told me the amount of wine thrown out at the weddings hes served in the last 3 years is sinful.

is it mean that we dont plan on doing a round of drinks either?

we may go down another road and buy something like the sparkling perry AP suggested but i dont feel the need.

the last few weddings i was at i tasted the white, thought it fairly rotten and went to buy my usual tipple. it differs from person to person as regards what they like and it seems like an uphill struggle to please everyone!

I think it is a bit mean not to offer any form of drink with the meal.

I was at a wedding in Australia, and the praactice there is that wine and beer is either supplied for the day (which in Ireland would cost a bomb) or there are 2-3 wine/beer drinks given with the meal. anyone wanting spirits or anything else pays for it. Soft drinks are usually given compliments of the hotel!

And as you point out, your nephew confirms what our friend said about wine being wasted. She also told me that if you provide wine you need to be extra vigilent and get someone to count bottles, as it is not unheard of for hotels to charge the couple for the wine and then take the unused wine and serve it behind the bar! so they get paid twice for it. Given the hassle of all this, and given the straw pole we took of our guests, it was more senisble for us to offer a couple of open toasts (single measures only). The hotel provided jugs of soft drinks on tables for the kids and non-drinkers. Given that the hotel wanted €10 corkage, 1/2 bottle per person was costing more than an open round.

Again, I think 'wine' per se is a bit of a waste - I drink wine, but if its not nice I would rather have a drink of my choice. Several of the lads we know said they don't mind wine but if it was a day out they would stick with beer, so wouldn't drink wine with the meal.
But I do think you need to give a drink of some sort.

Toots · 31-01-2010 06:23PM

Cincikchick wrote: »

it was more senisble for us to offer a couple of open toasts (single measures only).

If you're doing open toasts, definitely make sure that the hotel are very clear that it's to be singles only (unless you want to offer whatever people want). We've gotten it written into our contract with the hotel that they won't serve doubles/triples etc on the wedding tab for the toasts.

I was at one wedding where there was a good bit of wine served with the dinner and lots of people were pretty well along by the time the toast came around. I saw lots of people ordering doubles, and a few even ordered triples! It's a sh!tty thing to do at a wedding IMO, but people did it, and I reckon that one round probably cost more than all the wine provided.

Alliandre · 31-01-2010 10:26PM

Cincikchick wrote: »

Instead we gave 2 open toasts, one with the meal and one for the toast. This allowed everyone to choose their drink. When we calculated it it cost the same as providing a 1/2 bottle of wine per person.

Well if we have to pay for alcohol, this probably sounds like the best idea.

Enii · 01-02-2010 12:00AM

Toots* wrote: »

If you're doing open toasts, definitely make sure that the hotel are very clear that it's to be singles only (unless you want to offer whatever people want). We've gotten it written into our contract with the hotel that they won't serve doubles/triples etc on the wedding tab for the toasts.

I was at one wedding where there was a good bit of wine served with the dinner and lots of people were pretty well along by the time the toast came around. I saw lots of people ordering doubles, and a few even ordered triples! It's a sh!tty thing to do at a wedding IMO, but people did it, and I reckon that one round probably cost more than all the wine provided.

This can come across as mean.

I was at a wedding where I was drinking a caipirosca (it is what I drink). When the waiter came around to take our drink order for the toast, I ordered a caipirosca. He then loudly blared out "No cocktails, No doubles". Well I just wanted the ground to open - it was so mortifying. It actually was only a little more expensive then the Vodka & Coke that I changed my order to.

It is the one thing that sticks out in my mind when I think back about that wedding.

Is wine essential for a wedding?

Comments