Post a baseless lie about the last poster. Read the warning in post #1

staker wrote: »

CDfm didn't like being horsed around so much in the suitcase, he'd have to have a word with Cockgrow when they got to Kerry. And that taxi-driver shouldn't be kicking the luggage anyway!!

LOL

CDfm's favourite pastime is punching cows, he was employed in the local abbatoir as a humane killer but was left go when he refused to knock out the pigs.
They've got an awful evil human eye he says.

Colrow thinks Staker sucks and he has just come from Cork.

Chow-Lin asked for extra extra yucom last night in the chinese, the waiter boy CDfm duly obliged in the alley out back

Crazy Dude-fancies morrissey

Hitlersson666 was once seen eating a pink ice cream.

M&S* wrote: »

Hank_Jones sells propane and propane accessories

That's cold.

M&S is a staunch supporter of George Bush.

CDfm once ran the hundred metres at school, he was so proud.
He has not exercised since.

hitlersson666's favourite song is Chocolate Rain.

I hated school. I was always picked last for rounders, hadn't heard of sun beds and found myself floating between social Antarctica and boffism. The only credibility I gained was by forging absence forms, being sarcastic and setting fire to things.

If it hadn't been for Hitlersson666, who knows? I would probably still be wearing virgin socks and have a monobrow. Hitlerson666 you see soared where I failed. he had a smile like a mile-wide fridge being opened at midnight, the body of an Amazonian and wavy blonde hair. People were drawn to him like a wasp to the bathroom when your pants are down.

I however, repulsed people like a Gary Glitter joke at a christening.

he wasn't exactly sensitive. When I took laxatives in an attempt to be thin, skinny hitlersson666 gloated how he could eat and eat and didn't know where it all went. And when I had eczema, he drew crusty bits on a diagram in science and called it Red_marauder

We did all the normal best mate stuff; gave each other tattoos with our compasses, inhaled anything that stated "Avoid Inhalation" and engaged in amateur arson.

At weekends we would get together and have bonfires, absorbed in burning stuff with Radiohead fuelling our teenage angst, me picking my acne and hitlersson666 lighting his farts. Once we both singed our eyebrows while trying (unsuccessfully) to set the school loos on fire ... true Enid Blyton stuff.

The problems started after we left school. At college I happily realised that not all people in the world, or indeed ireland, were like the poodle-permed, Argos-embellished, big-fringed plastic gangstas from school.

My acne cleared up, the puppy fat fell off and I stopped being so bloody miserable in the name of grunge and started enjoying myself. I became more extroverted - which hitlersson666 said didn't suit me. I dressed differently and he said it looked tacky.

I started hanging out with new people - hitlersson666 said they were all losers.

If a girl fancied me then hitlersson666 said he was some new-variant leper, whereas of course, all his girlfriends were hot. It took me about five years to realise that around hitlersson666, I was the perennial coat-holder, just like at school. I felt about as attractive as an Ewok with mange.

It had to come to a final break in the last year of university when I heard he was cussing me to anyone who would listen, and had warned one of my new mates: "red_Marauder's my friend, leave him alone."

Last I heard he was working full-time in the same Saturday job he had when he was 16, with the same fat girlfriend, still lived at home with his parents, was about two stone heavier (ah-ha so that's where it all went) and really depressed.

We vowed to be mates forever, and I thought we would be. Eight years later are we still chums?

Like **** we are.

It's the most we can do to avoid throwing rotten vegetables at each other in the street. The loss of our friendship saddens me sometimes, but then I remember what a jealous, spiteful, self-centred, (did I say selfish?) bastard of a sniping slutbitch he is. (Okay I've stopped foaming at the mouth now.)