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Irish immigrant teenager bullied to death in the US.

24

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    Can we ignore the trolls please? Whenever something tragic occurs you'll always find a bunch of losers trying to get some much-needed attention.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    Firstly: I'm not a troll.

    Secondly: as requested here is some smilies:):):D:p;):rolleyes::pac:

    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    and yes two of my friend have committed suicide I know how it feels.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,287 ✭✭✭davyjose


    smegmar wrote: »
    Firstly: I'm not a troll.

    Secondly: as requested here is some smilies:):):D:p;):rolleyes::pac:

    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    and yes two of my friend have committed suicide I know how it feels.
    I think it actually just fcuked you up a little.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    smegmar wrote: »
    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    People can be strong enough to deal with troubles, in correct circumstances. ie, have the proper support and learn to overcome these things by their own self determinations. Not everyone has the ability or confidence at first, that is why support is necessary.

    That survival of the fittest crap is bull**** by the way and makes your posts look cold.

    You may have been bullies, hell we all may have. Did you just move to a new country where you knew no-one to turn to?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭humanji


    smegmar wrote: »
    Firstly: I'm not a troll.

    Secondly: as requested here is some smilies:):):D:p;):rolleyes::pac:

    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    and yes two of my friend have committed suicide I know how it feels.
    So you blame your two friends for being weak?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 294 ✭✭Caveat


    Apart from everything else, the oft quoted "survival of the fittest" is probably one of the most misused phrases anyway.

    It means fittest as in most appropriate/suitable, NOT, as in toughest, dog eat dog etc as smegmar and countless others seem to think.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    humanji wrote: »
    So you blame your two friends for being weak?

    I wish they came to me, talked to more people, sought ways to alleviate the pressures they felt.

    They should be teaching in schools how to ignore and overcome bullying rather then this "no bully policy" crap. There will always be bullies, someone who thinks they're the biggest dick in the jungle, if you don't give them a reaction they leave you alone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    Caveat wrote: »
    Apart from everything else, the oft quoted "survival of the fittest" is probably one of the most misused phrases anyway.

    It means fittest as in most appropriate/suitable, NOT, as in toughest, dog eat dog etc as smegmar and countless others seem to think.

    in this case the most suitable adept are those that can pass through the bully's insults without taking it. not people who can physically beat up someone


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭humanji


    smegmar wrote: »
    I wish they came to me, talked to more people, sought ways to alleviate the pressures they felt.

    They should be teaching in schools how to ignore and overcome bullying rather then this "no bully policy" crap. There will always be bullies, someone who thinks they're the biggest dick in the jungle, if you don't give them a reaction they leave you alone.
    I'm beginning to think you haven't been bullied, because not reacting doesn't make them leave you alone. It makes them bully harder so that they get a reaction. The tv version where you stand up to them and they back down, doesn't happen in the real world.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 143 ✭✭KaiserMc


    smegmar wrote: »

    I think this is survival of the fittest in action. she wasn't able so she has been eliminated from the gene pool

    It's obvious to me from your post..that you are a particularly cold individual ,probably a bully yourself.. who never received love or attention from his particularly cold and distant parents.You enjoy upsetting people as this is the type of attention that you thrive on..you may even find this sort of story funny due to your total lack of empathy.
    Your whole comment is disturbing and way off the mark as far as I am concerned,I don't think the girl ever suffered from depression until she landed in the good old Usa, she was probably just too nice.
    For me she is a Big loss to the gene pool..with regards a thick **** like you..who cares


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 294 ✭✭Caveat


    smegmar wrote: »
    in this case the most suitable adept are those that can pass through the bully's insults without taking it. not people who can physically beat up someone

    Struggling to make sense of this TBH - and I suspect you are backtracking now.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    smegmar wrote: »
    I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger.
    Yeah but not everyone has your balls of steel.

    She was in a new country.
    She was getting a lot of hassle for "not knowing her place".
    I'm guessing she didn't have many friends (or at least ones she could trust) because 5 months in a new country isn't a lot of time to find them.
    She didnt' want to tell her parents possibly because it's easier to just not talk.
    Handsome chap asks her out.
    She gets the piss taken out of her in school, at home, get things thrown at her etc...
    And because she's 15, the 3 years until the end of school looks like its 10 time further away then it is.
    So she hangs herself to end it.

    One of my parents had a cousin i think in Canada years ago. She was bullied frequently by a group of girls. One day a popular lad asked her to a dance, then got off with some other bird there, and took the piss out of her in front of everyone saying that he didnt like her at all and it was all just to make her look like a complete fool. Then she went home and shot herself.

    You can shove your "survival of the fittest" argument up your arse. It's the biggest pile of crap ive read here in a long time. If that was the case, then the fittest would be a bunch of self important little cúnts who think the world revolves around them. And yeah yeah, your crap about how the parents have a duty to educate their children on how to handle bullying, thats crap too. Shouldn't parents be raising their children to be good people? Like say, oh i dunno, the parents of the girls responsible for all the abuse?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    WindSock wrote: »
    People can be strong enough to deal with troubles, in correct circumstances. ie, have the proper support and learn to overcome these things by their own self determinations. Not everyone has the ability or confidence at first, that is why support is necessary.

    That survival of the fittest crap is bull**** by the way and makes your posts look cold.

    You may have been bullies, hell we all may have. Did you just move to a new country where you knew no-one to turn to?

    I see that she only moved over there from Clare last year, which probably means that she was still going through the shock of moving to a completely alien society, then also having to put up with the crap from the queen bitches. This combination is enough to weaken anyone's resolve.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    KaiserMc wrote: »
    It's obvious to me from your post..that you are a particularly cold individual ,probably a bully yourself.. who never received love or attention from his particularly cold and distant parents.You enjoy upsetting people as this is the type of attention that you thrive on..you may even find this sort of story funny due to your total lack of empathy.
    Your whole comment is disturbing and way off the mark as far as I am concerned,I don't think the girl ever suffered from depression until she landed in the good old Usa, she was probably just too nice.
    For me she is a Big loss to the gene pool..with regards a thick **** like you..who cares

    Amateur psychology at it's best. except wrong.

    Hitler shot himself, should we be sympathetic?? Don't get me wrong I'm not saying she's a bad person. I'm sure she was a fantastic person with hopes dreams. She could have gone on to do so much and I wish she did. What I am saying, and many people get me wrong here, On the postmortem cause of death won't be "bullying". Yes, bullying was a huge factor, but she had so many options she didn't realize. It's everyones fault for not making those clear. She didn't talk to her parents, teachers, find activities where she might make friends. At 15 she had more hormones then a pharmaceutical company storehouse. She wasn't thinking straight, it's at that time when she needs someone to help.

    I'm not here to upset anyone. I'm sorry my ideas are radically different from everyone else. but I call it how I see it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    And she is of no loss to the gene pool because she didn't get help?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    smegmar wrote: »
    Amateur psychology at it's best. except wrong.

    Hitler shot himself, should we be sympathetic?? Don't get me wrong I'm not saying she's a bad person. I'm sure she was a fantastic person with hopes dreams. She could have gone on to do so much and I wish she did. What I am saying, and many people get me wrong here, On the postmortem cause of death won't be "bullying". Yes, bullying was a huge factor, but she had so many options she didn't realize. It's everyones fault for not making those clear. She didn't talk to her parents, teachers, find activities where she might make friends. At 15 she had more hormones then a pharmaceutical company storehouse. She wasn't thinking straight, it's at that time when she needs someone to help.

    I'm not here to upset anyone. I'm sorry my ideas are radically different from everyone else. but I call it how I see it.

    Oh, so you're a qualified psychologist now?

    How do you know she had moral support? She might not have had any friends. Her parents could have been at work all day when she got home. She might not have been the type of person who wanted to share her burdens with other people.

    Fact of the matter is the bullies are responsible for her behaviour. If they didn't bully her, she would be still alive.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    In fairness dflonep, she brought it on herself by being weak. She shoulda manned up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    Oscar Wilde once said :"Nobody can make you feel bad without your own consent"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭Sanjuro


    smegmar wrote: »
    she was not bullied to death she was mentally depressed. I hate the idea that bullies are at fault here, it so horribly PC and ignorant. I blame both the girl her parents for not teaching her how to resist a few insults. What ever happened to "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" Everyone was bullied at school (except maybe the bullies, but their uncle touched them) and we all have to get over it. Become stronger for it. Life isn't an easy ride of hugs and love we have to be ready for all the taunts and abuse we get.

    I think this is survival of the fittest in action. she wasn't able so she has been eliminated from the gene pool
    You sir, are an idiot.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Oscar Wilde said a lot of things. Doesn't mean they translate to other people realities.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭humanji


    smegmar wrote: »
    Oscar Wilde once said :"Nobody can make you feel bad without your own consent"
    Does that make it true?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 795 ✭✭✭smegmar


    dlofnep wrote: »

    Fact of the matter is the bullies are responsible for her behaviour. If they didn't bully her, she would be still alive.

    That's like saying it's he fires fault for being hot that I got burned. and not me putting a hand into the fire. Yes if there weren't bullies she might be alive, but there will always be bullies. Should she encounter them on her firs job and throw herself out a window? No we need to make people strong against the torments and challenges life throws at us, not avoid them or try hide them away.

    I can't understand the suggestion that she had absolutely no contact with her parents, and especially teachers. There is always people to go to. she had access to the internet, and the internet is everything and everyone in the entire world put together.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    God, you come across some strange people on the internet. I often picture them at the keyboard, and wonder whether they're wearing nothing but a saucepan on their heads.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,749 ✭✭✭✭wes


    smegmar wrote: »
    That's like saying it's he fires fault for being hot that I got burned. and not me putting a hand into the fire. Yes if there weren't bullies she might be alive, but there will always be bullies. Should she encounter them on her firs job and throw herself out a window? No we need to make people strong against the torments and challenges life throws at us, not avoid them or try hide them away.

    Fire and bullies are 2 very different things. Bullies are Humans who know what they are doing and are responsible for there actions and the consequences of there actions. To try and excuse them, as if they can't help themselves is nonsense. These people know damn well what there doing, and they sure as hell should be held responsible for it.

    If you can't tell the difference between a fire and a Human being, then I think it best to disregard anything you say.
    smegmar wrote: »
    I can't understand the suggestion that she had absolutely no contact with her parents, and especially teachers. There is always people to go to. she had access to the internet, and the internet is everything and everyone in the entire world put together.

    Ok, that make feck all sense, especially the bit at the end.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Smegmar, you are absolutely correct that people must be aware that there are bullies in every walk of life and that we will most likely encounter many throughout our lives, but saying that she is weak for dealing with it by killing herself is a bit off.

    She may have not been aware of support networks, maybe she didn't get a class on 'how to deal with bullies', maybe the bullies threatened her more if she 'squealed'. She was 15 for Gods sake, in an alien environment. She was tormented to the point where she saw no other release. Have a bit of humanity.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Smegmar, I see where your coming from. Aside from any supports she might have got if she had looked for them, if she had been more comfortable in her own skin and not as susceptible to bullying behaviour she probably wouldnt have taken her own life.

    The thing is its human nature to be vulnerable to what others do to you and say about you. The majority of people wont have balls of steel and a deep sense of self. They will buckle under pressure and can do very irrational things because of pressure. For this reason, the only way of addressing the matter is to try to stop or at least minimize bullying in the first place.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 444 ✭✭schween


    smegmar wrote: »
    she was not bullied to death she was mentally depressed. I hate the idea that bullies are at fault here, it so horribly PC and ignorant. I blame both the girl her parents for not teaching her how to resist a few insults. What ever happened to "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" Everyone was bullied at school (except maybe the bullies, but their uncle touched them) and we all have to get over it. Become stronger for it. Life isn't an easy ride of hugs and love we have to be ready for all the taunts and abuse we get.

    I think this is survival of the fittest in action. she wasn't able so she has been eliminated from the gene pool
    smegmar wrote: »
    Firstly: I'm not a troll.

    Secondly: as requested here is some smilies:):):D:p;):rolleyes::pac:

    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    and yes two of my friend have committed suicide I know how it feels.
    smegmar wrote: »
    Amateur psychology at it's best. except wrong.

    Hitler shot himself, should we be sympathetic?? Don't get me wrong I'm not saying she's a bad person. I'm sure she was a fantastic person with hopes dreams. She could have gone on to do so much and I wish she did. What I am saying, and many people get me wrong here, On the postmortem cause of death won't be "bullying". Yes, bullying was a huge factor, but she had so many options she didn't realize. It's everyones fault for not making those clear. She didn't talk to her parents, teachers, find activities where she might make friends. At 15 she had more hormones then a pharmaceutical company storehouse. She wasn't thinking straight, it's at that time when she needs someone to help.

    I'm not here to upset anyone. I'm sorry my ideas are radically different from everyone else. but I call it how I see it.

    I'm so confused. You've said yourself that she was mentally depressed. She was mentally ill. And you say that she was 15 and not thinking straight.

    But then you say that she was weak and wasn't able to deal with what life has to throw at her, that she wasn't educated, that her parents didn't help her.

    She was mentally ill. One minute you seem to get that, the next minute you seem to ignore it. She didn't kill herself because she was weak or ill equipped to deal with life, she did it because she was sick, and when your basically insane, you do strange things.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    smegmar wrote: »
    Firstly: I'm not a troll.

    Secondly: as requested here is some smilies:):):D:p;):rolleyes::pac:

    Third: I was completely serious. I was bullied horribly, there was facebook, bebo and Myspace groups set up to insult me.All manner of physical and verbal abuse. So I know what she felt like. I'm not saying this for sympathy, In fact I'm glad I was bullied. It made me stronger. I on the other hand new how to deal with it.

    Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with all the troubles life has to offer. And life is full of them. Beyond the petty fallasy we have, this is still survival of the fittest, people die every day.

    and yes two of my friend have committed suicide I know how it feels.

    So your friends, if in fact friends of yours did kill themselves, and this poor girl, deserved to die because they were weak?

    In 6 years of being a member of boards.ie, I don't think I have ever felt so much disdain for another poster.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,369 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Well, at least being bullied didn't prevent Smegmar becoming a caring and sympathetic member of society.

    The Samaritans are always looking for volunteers.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    smegmar wrote: »
    idiotic post....idiotic post...idiotic post

    If I could ban for idiotic posts I would certainly ban you, but I can't.

    I can however tell you not to post in this thread again.


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