Men Who Cry

greendom · 25-01-2010 06:23PM

Seems to be a preponderance of hung up attitudes here - if you feel the need to cry, cry. There's no wrong or right

Ridley · 25-01-2010 06:49PM

Quazzie wrote: »

Crying at Riverdance.

I'm assuming you are no longer together because he finally owned up that he has teh ghey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGzeC9IaGLc

I'd say it depends on context but the OP makes him sound like Brendan Fraser's wish to be more sensitive in Bedazzled.

Odysseus · 25-01-2010 06:52PM

Xluna wrote: »

I often wonder is the sexist attitudes exhibited here part of the reason why there is so many suicides and mental issues,depression and alcohol dependence amongst Irish men,especially the younger ones.
Expressing said emotions is frowned upon by society,so other coping mechanisms are employed to deal with grief ect.

I think there is something to your point, but I see men cry quite a few times every week. However, that is because I work as a psychotherapist. Generally the mask goes back on when they leave the room.

However, there does need to be a balance on it, expressing ones thoughts, feelings and emotions is healthly. However, there are also times when you just have to deal with the situation, when that is done you can deal with whatever needs to be addressed.

ColmDawson · 25-01-2010 06:53PM

Shivers26 wrote: »

I like my men to be men.

Sentiments like this don't exactly promote a healthy collective male psyche.

Xluna · 25-01-2010 06:56PM

ScumLord wrote: »

The correct male response to pain is anger and violence (the modern man restricts his violence to inanimate objects). Actually the correct male response to just about everything is anger.

Good to see such open mindedness on AH. Did you also know that all women react to pain with mind games and cannot think logically,that all gay men love the Wizard of Oz and hate sports and all lesbians are seven foot tall and play Rugby?:rolleyes:

Augmerson · 25-01-2010 06:57PM

I cried at the end of Brokeback Mountain...."I swear Jack , I swear."

windowlicker · 25-01-2010 06:58PM

Hogzy wrote: »

Watching Marley and me

glad im not the only one

Little Acorn · 25-01-2010 07:18PM

Shivers26 wrote: »

I was just reading a thread over on Relationship Issues about mens reactions to women crying and I was just wondering what are your thoughts when its the other way around.

Ladies - how do you feel about men crying?
Men - are you criers? What makes you cry?

Just to get things started my last bf was a massive crier. He bawled his eyes out both times we saw Riverdance (citing patriotism as the reason), he bawled watching The Notebook and he cried when our son was born (although I'd let him away with that one). At first I thought it was sweet that he was so sensitive, then I thought it was a little odd and eventually I just got used to it! In general though I like my men to be men.

It would depend on how often/easily they cried,the same as with girls.
I mean,I would take less notice of a guy or girl who regularly cried crocodile tears in an effort to seek attention,or guys or girls who just always cried when drunk,just wouldn't pass much heed of them.
However,if it was a person who wasn't a regular crier or had a very good reason to cry,they would have my full attention and I would do my absolute best to comfort them,or just listen to their problems.
I don't really have a problem with guys (or girls) crying the odd time for sentimental reasons,relationship reasons,or just something they feel passionate about.
I Don't like the "men don't cry" line,-as although someone who was extremely over-sensitive(like crying everyday) would bore me,
I would much prefer to occasionally witness some genuine emotion in people,than to think of them as "robot-like".
I know some people don't have to actually cry to express emotion,just saying that it is one display of emotion that I don't have a problem with,if happening for understandable reasons.
Happy tears are the best though!:)

Taco Corp · 25-01-2010 07:27PM

Xluna wrote: »

What does that even mean?

It means he needs to have a stick in the shed purely for stirring paint.

DazMarz · 25-01-2010 07:36PM

I cry over serious emotional things:

-break up of a relationship

-Dublin getting beaten by Mayo (2006), Tyrone (2008) and Kerry (2009) and many other times but those ones stick in my mind as being really bad.

-Chelsea losing big matches; key ones I remember quite clearly are Champions League Final 2008 (heart ripped in half at that one), Champions League Semi-Final 2009 (heart thrown into a blender and someone hit ''Gooify'').

-Remembering Dublin winning the 1995 All-Ireland Final... Seven years old and I didn't cry then... But whenever I think of it now, it makes me tear up a little.

-Chelsea lift the Premiership Trophy for the first time (and win England's Top Flight League for the second time) in 2005. And repeat said feat 12 months later.

As you can see, matches involving either of my Beloved Blues can cause me to blubber (and recently it has been unfortunately for the wrong reasons). Sporting events (and relationships breaking up) are perfectly acceptable for men to cry over. Other than that...... up for debate.

Cool Running · 25-01-2010 07:37PM

After the events that happened to these man, I believe they were well justified in crying
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00932/SNA2011612-280_932430a.jpg

[IMG][/img]http://d.yimg.com/i//ng/sp/eurosport/20091120/25/5ef9bd06bdae4e741f3bf334c9b62a6f.jpg

DB10 · 25-01-2010 07:38PM

Funerals always bring tears to my eye. I don't bawl my eyes out though like some women do, I try to keep it in if it isn't somone close.

I hate them...:(

Bar that I would never do it in front of anyone though. Although I have done so due to relationship issues, and even watching some films...:pac:

It is good to have a cry once in a while IMO.

Hank_Jones · 25-01-2010 07:39PM

I honestly can't remember the last time I cried, I do get a bit misty eyed watching certain films though.

There's a scene in the film Cry Freedom in which thousands of children are prostesting against having to learn afrikaans and the police open fire, killing hundreds. Based on a true story. So that sort of thing would get to me alright and I start to feel slightly moist around the eyes.
It's just films get to me though, I don't know what it is about them.

I've never cried after a sporting victory, I'd probably balls my eyes out if Dublin won an All Ireland though.

AnonoBoy · 25-01-2010 07:39PM

Some of those Barry's Tea ads can really choke me up.

Odysseus · 25-01-2010 07:43PM

greendom wrote: »

Seems to be a preponderance of hung up attitudes here - if you feel the need to cry, cry. There's no wrong or right

Your right of course, but since this is AH, instead of my original post, maybe I should have posted about the way we laugh about making people cry in sessions, or the special abrasive tissues we offer to the ones we classify as whingers, or the that all we really do at therapeutic congresses is joke about our patients.

Liam Byrne · 25-01-2010 07:45PM

Shivers26 wrote: »

In general though I like my men to be men.

What exactly is this supposed to mean ?

No cooking, cleaning, baby-minding, listening, understanding or crying ?

Or is there just a particular subset of those that doesn't suit you, while the others come in handy ?

Sheesh! No wonder us guys haven't a clue what goes on in women's heads!

I like "my" women to be women, too........but I just wish it didn't involve going mental over stupid little things and watching rubbish chick-flicks or x-factor.

Shivers26 · 25-01-2010 07:48PM

Colm Dawson wrote: »

Sentiments like this don't exactly promote a healthy collective male psyche.

Maybe I should qualify the statement a little bit. I dont have a problem with men crying as such, but for legitimate reasons. Riverdance will never be a legitimate reason. Dog/friend/close loved one dying = legitimate reason. Ireland winning World Cup = legitimate reason (dream on).

And no, the ex didn't have the ghey, he was a strapping 6ft soldier but bless him, he could cry for Ireland.

I actually remember my brother crying when his dog had pups but he was pretty pissed at the time.

Dr. Baltar · 25-01-2010 07:52PM

The only time I have ever cried properly is when my mother kicked me out when I was 10. I never knew my Dad either and well, the next door neighbour was a complete dope.... the only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.

AnonoBoy · 25-01-2010 07:52PM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

What exactly is this supposed to mean ?

No cooking, cleaning, baby-minding, listening, understanding or crying ?

Or is there just a particular subset of those that doesn't suit you, while the others come in handy ?

Sheesh! No wonder us guys haven't a clue what goes on in women's heads!

I like "my" women to be women, too........but I just wish it didn't involve going mental over stupid little things and watching rubbish chick-flicks or x-factor.

Maybe she means she doesn't want to go out with a guy and then find out he's actually a woman or something.

AckwelFoley · 25-01-2010 07:53PM

yea. cried about an hour ago.

d'ol depression has me by the scrotum at the mo.

Xluna · 25-01-2010 07:57PM

RobbieTheRobber wrote: »

By coping methods you mean drinking yeah?

Yeah,that and surpressing emotions ect. Can't be healthy. The Italians seem to be more emotional than us for example.

Keogg · 25-01-2010 07:58PM

For a real reason then its perfectly ok for a guy to cry. In fact it's probably better then talking the 'manly' route and bottling up your emotions (it's not just us women who do it)

But if a guy were to cry in front of me for nothing, or say, relatively sad movie or something, i'd be a little awkward... Don't think I'd be freaked out or anything, just wouldn't know what to say!

Caveat · 25-01-2010 08:01PM

I cry easily enough. Probably once every 2 or 3 months or so - not over anything in particular, just because I feel like it. I find it's good for me.

Dave147 · 25-01-2010 08:06PM

My dog died 2 weeks ago and I'd say in the last two weeks I've cried more than I had in my whole life previous..

Also the girlfriend got me an extremely special gift for my birthday I couldn't keep the tears in then either, death of friends and family and nothing else really.

Wouldn't ever cry over a sporting occasion.

CrazyRabbit · 25-01-2010 08:07PM

Somebody broke into my house, and stole all the beer from my fridge.

When I realised what had happened, I cried.

fonecrusher1 · 25-01-2010 08:09PM

pssst....heres a little trick ive used a few times, if you think you're choking up & about to leak a few sissy tears just think of the funniest thing you've ever seen or done & hey presto embarrassing weeping avoided.
Ive used this method a few times in my life. When i went to see Braveheart in the cinema years ago i used this technique to cover up potential blubbering at the end when Wallace is executed. Freeeedoooommmmmmm.:(

ScumLord · 25-01-2010 08:14PM

Dave147 wrote: »

My dog died 2 weeks ago and I'd say in the last two weeks I've cried more than I had in my whole life previous..

Ah don't you'll get me started an all.

Sofiztikated · 25-01-2010 08:18PM

I think everyone has glossed over one important fact in the OP.

Riverdance. Twice. Seriously? Twice?

Senna · 25-01-2010 08:20PM

My dog got knocked down a few weeks ago and i was away from the house when it happened. As i rushed to the vets i could feel myself welling up, as i though he was a goner, but when i arrived at the vet the dog was alive but hurt, it was then that i cried. I was relieved he was alive, but i cried when i seen his sad little eyes and knew he was in pain.

Shivers26 · 25-01-2010 08:25PM

Sofiztikated wrote: »

I think everyone has glossed over one important fact in the OP.

Riverdance. Twice. Seriously? Twice?

Just to be clear - the first time I wanted to see it but he was on board, the second time he insisted on getting tickets. And yes, not one word of a lie. I had to pretend I was sitting with the people on the other side of us.

Men Who Cry

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