your worst dates/sex/relationships etc..... Ladies & Lads!

minidazzler · 29-11-2009 05:52PM

The_Thing wrote: »

Call me a sadist if you like, but I love to hear about people's suffering and misfortune.

That doesn't make you a sadist, it makes you a schadenfreund.

Bikerbhoy · 29-11-2009 06:04PM

nanofano wrote: »

i was meeting a guy for drinks that id met the week before in a random nightclub. so i get there first and i get a drink for myself, he arrives pretty soon thereafter. we chat for about 20min + ive finished my drink at this stage (he hasnt bought himself a drink). i ask him does he want to stay for a 2nd drink, he tells me he has no money. Im like ok, ill give him a chance, i buy him a drink. after the 2nd drink, he suggests we go back to his house for "cans". i decline his polite offer + head home. He txts me a few days later telling me hes gonna come over to my apt with a bottle of wine, demanding my address. i decline again + then he tells me to **** off + that he was gay anyway.
what a weirdo!

HA HA Very Funny.... How you getting on now den eh, had any better luck since ?

Novella · 18-01-2010 10:13PM

I just had to dig up this thread for the following :

A few months ago, I was out with some friends one night. Don't remember how but I got chatting to a guy and in my drunken state, gave him my phone number.

Anyway, I remember thinking he was a bit weird but of course, I kissed him anyway and then told him I was just going to the loo and would be back in a second. He was a bit.... intense. Insisted another guy was looking at me "as if he wanted me" and said he should go punch him.
:eek:

So, I told my friends I was feeling sick and left, went home!

In the taxi, I get a text from the guy, "I am waiting outside the bathroom, you are taking ages". Yup, weirdo! Didn't reply. Got home, he rang me a few times. I didn't answer.

The next day, he texted me, apologised etc. I said it was grand, just a drunken night and we'd leave it at that.

ANYWAY! Tonight, I get a text message from that guy!!! :eek:

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I have a girlfriend now, she's really hot and nice so nothing can ever happen between us again, sorry".

:rolleyes::eek:

I texted him back, said I was happy for him, hoped it all worked out and goodbye....
To which he replied....

"Eh ****. That wasn't the reply I was expecting. I guess there is no chance of just a quick shag, for old times sake".

OH! MY! GOD!

bronte · 18-01-2010 10:22PM

What a charmer!

MissIT · 18-01-2010 10:22PM

oh god he sounds like a right freak!!

I remember i met a fella on a night out one time. He seemed really nice so gave him my number. Nothing happened between us though. Bumped into him on the town about a week later. He saw me talking to a male friend so texts me calling me a slut etc!

Next day he texts about 10 times in the space of about 5 minutes. going from calling me a slut in one text, then saying he's mad about me, then back to slut again. All before i even replyed to his first text!!! So I asked him nicely to delete my number to which he replyed.. "your dumping me?? Your the one who cheated on me??".. WTF like

Nervous Wreck · 18-01-2010 10:29PM

MissIT wrote: »

oh god he sounds like a right freak!!

I remember i met a fella on a night out one time. He seemed really nice so gave him my number. Nothing happened between us though. Bumped into him on the town about a week later. He saw me talking to a male friend so texts me calling me a slut etc!

Next day he texts about 10 times in the space of about 5 minutes. going from calling me a slut in one text, then saying he's mad about me, then back to slut again. All before i even replyed to his first text!!! So I asked him nicely to delete my number to which he replyed.. "your dumping me?? Your the one who cheated on me??".. WTF like

That's actually hilarious! What a weirdo.

I don't have any awesome stories like that.

Worst one I have (in recent memory anyway) is a girl that seemed awesome when we met but then on our first date, kept asking me every five minutes "What are you thinking?" That was also our last date.

Vinta81 · 18-01-2010 10:31PM

Novella wrote: »

I just had to dig up this thread for the following :

A few months ago, I was out with some friends one night. Don't remember how but I got chatting to a guy and in my drunken state, gave him my phone number.

Anyway, I remember thinking he was a bit weird but of course, I kissed him anyway and then told him I was just going to the loo and would be back in a second. He was a bit.... intense. Insisted another guy was looking at me "as if he wanted me" and said he should go punch him.
:eek:

So, I told my friends I was feeling sick and left, went home!

In the taxi, I get a text from the guy, "I am waiting outside the bathroom, you are taking ages". Yup, weirdo! Didn't reply. Got home, he rang me a few times. I didn't answer.

The next day, he texted me, apologised etc. I said it was grand, just a drunken night and we'd leave it at that.

ANYWAY! Tonight, I get a text message from that guy!!! :eek:

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I have a girlfriend now, she's really hot and nice so nothing can ever happen between us again, sorry".

:rolleyes::eek:

I texted him back, said I was happy for him, hoped it all worked out and goodbye....
To which he replied....

"Eh ****. That wasn't the reply I was expecting. I guess there is no chance of just a quick shag, for old times sake".

OH! MY! GOD!

Bloody hysterical. What a freak :pac:

krudler · 18-01-2010 10:46PM

Didnt happen to me but a girl my gf is friends with kissed a guy in a club and then thought he was a bit of a freak afterwards after talking to him for a bit longer, he somehow found out where they lived and arrived at their house at 6am, wanting to be let in, I told him to bugger off and then he proceded to start jumping on the cars bonnets that were parked outside, cue car alarms goin off all over the place, the whole street being woken up and him screaming at the top of his lungs when the cops showed up, that was a fun night

krudler · 18-01-2010 10:57PM

Worst sex: one night stand, the one and only one I've ever had, and it sucked, the most awkward, clumsy sex ever, she was hammered as well (but wasnt when we left the club, i know alcohol affects people different ways but I've never seen someone get drunker 2 hours after their last drink before) and didnt really seem to know what she was doing, and to make it worse,the next morning I woke up to find she'd had her period during the night and it was all over my fcuking sheets, ewwwwwww! she didnt even apologise afterwards, she asked if i wanted her number but i politely told her no, kinda felt bad after that but there was no way i was ever going to see her again

Stella777 · 18-01-2010 11:18PM

Long ago I briefly dated an English guy. He was one of those Public School types. He was so prim and proper and would blush if someone even said a "naughty" word. But in bed he had all these little kinks, for example, toe sucking. I didn't mind humoring it to a certain extent, but for him it was like the entire focus of sex between us to the point that it became almost comical.

The contrast between his normal persona and his bed persona was just too much and it didn't last long.

Sauve · 19-01-2010 12:05AM

When i was about 17 I broke up with a guy I had been going out with for about a year. No massive row or anything, I just wasn't that into him anymore. For at least two months he completely harassed me, rang my mobile constantly day and night, then started ringing the landline and the mobile at the same time hoping I wouldnt realise and pick up one of them! My mum had to leave the phone off the hook at night cos he'd ring at all hours until someone answered. He then started showing up at my window in the middle of the night (my room was on the first floor), and ringing the house where I babysat when I wasn't even there. The kids' Dad said he had rung 34 times in one day asking for me. The last straw was when I eventually spoke to him to tell him he needed to back off, and he told me that he wasn't going to eat or drink another thing until I agreed to meet him. My mum went and spoke to his parents, telling them everything he had done and they hadn't a clue about any of it. It very quickly stopped, Ive only seen him once since

BumbleB · 19-01-2010 01:43AM

This actually didn't happen to me ,but I was talking to a Finnish girl and she was telling me this story (actually 5 mins after I started talking to her ,they're real up front there).

Well anyhow she went home to her place with this guy and she had a pet dog ,which was great, later on the mood gets amorous and they started having sex ,anyhow yer man was at it hammer and tongs and the dog comes upstairs and while hes at it ,the dog started licking his bum and kept doing it ,but he didn't stop until the the job was done.

All I can say is Ewww.........................

helimachoptor · 19-01-2010 08:16AM

@ bumblebee thanks, my weetabix is now all over my laptop screen!

Lollipops23 · 19-01-2010 07:32PM

Never had a really bad date,luckily!!

Worst sex: probably a 1 night stand...a friend of one of my college mates. He was horrific (may have been down to drunkeness) and kept waking me up to go again!!!all bloody night!!he did drive me to the train station the next day though...:D

A mate told me about a German girl he brought home one night, they did the deed and passed out...he wakes up several hrs later to find her squatting over his linen basket pissing!!!!:eek::eek::eek: they didn't see eachother again...

Fago! · 19-01-2010 07:55PM

Lollipops23 wrote: »

A mate told me about a German girl he brought home one night, they did the deed and passed out...he wakes up several hrs later to find her squatting over his linen basket pissing!!!!:eek::eek::eek: they didn't see eachother again...

Ha!

MissIT wrote: »

oh god he sounds like a right freak!!

I remember i met a fella on a night out one time. He seemed really nice so gave him my number. Nothing happened between us though. Bumped into him on the town about a week later. He saw me talking to a male friend so texts me calling me a slut etc!

Next day he texts about 10 times in the space of about 5 minutes. going from calling me a slut in one text, then saying he's mad about me, then back to slut again. All before i even replyed to his first text!!! So I asked him nicely to delete my number to which he replyed.. "your dumping me?? Your the one who cheated on me??".. WTF like

Double HA HA HA!

MissIT something like that happened to my mate. Actually that exact thing happened.

I never even EVER went on a date (Who know's why???), but when I was chatting up a girl in town, she went in for the kiss and vomited on my shoes!

This thread is hilarious!

omerin · 19-01-2010 08:06PM

i always get a laugh off this story so here goes, though i think its more a sad reflection of our education system

Driving a few years ago with gf and friend. it was during an election and the radio was on. She was in the back seat and friend in the front seat. The person on the radio said the the electorate were apathetic. She makes eye contact through the mirror and asks me what does apathetic mean. Stunned, it takes me a few seconds to reply, but i turn around and say couldn't give a damn. A minute or 2 after i look behind and see her given me the evils. Later when i drop of my friend she gives out to me to talking to her like that!

omerin · 19-01-2010 08:08PM

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Never had a really bad date,luckily!!

Worst sex: probably a 1 night stand...a friend of one of my college mates. He was horrific (may have been down to drunkeness) and kept waking me up to go again!!!all bloody night!!he did drive me to the train station the next day though...:D

A mate told me about a German girl he brought home one night, they did the deed and passed out...he wakes up several hrs later to find her squatting over his linen basket pissing!!!!:eek::eek::eek: they didn't see eachother again...

Who said romance is dead? :P

sam34 · 19-01-2010 09:54PM

when i was on the first date with my now-ex-bf, he had dropped me home and we were chatting and kissing in the car outside my place

while chatting, i had my hand on his upper thigh area, and at one stage he yawned, so i said "you're wrecked"

what he heard was "you're erect"

he was vigorously denying it and got a bit affronted

there were a few mins of confusion before we figured out teh mix up

smileysurfer · 20-01-2010 08:54AM

sam34 wrote: »

when i was on the first date with my now-ex-bf, he had dropped me home and we were chatting and kissing in the car outside my place

while chatting, i had my hand on his upper thigh area, and at one stage he yawned, so i said "you're wrecked"

what he heard was "you're erect"

he was vigorously denying it and got a bit affronted

there were a few mins of confusion before we figured out teh mix up

hahahahahahahahhahaahaaaa how unfortunate!!

MonkeyBone · 16-03-2010 10:39AM

The worst relationship I ever had happened last year while finishing my last year of college. I am still feeling the ramifications of it now and was being harassed by a girl I was friends with in my class, during the closing months of college. It is too long a story for this post but basically she was going abroad and began to act irratic. I was seriously ignorant to the fact that this girl had a thing for me. The lies she spread about me were scandelous and it came to the point were I even had to reveal the most personal aspects of my life to a lecturer (i.e. That my mother was not my biological mother at all and I was adopted) and I even had to contact the gardai. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of I know but it is personal to me as my biological mother shun me when I tried to get in touch and it was because my step-brother, her son (many years older then me), committed suicide before I was born. Who I share it with is my choice but she made me out to have lied about who I was all along.

Anyways, that was the least of some of the things she said. Now it has been 6 months since then and she is still abroad, happy as can be and I honestly do not begrudge her of that but my question is, how does someone get over that level of personal attack and betrayal. Her actions cost me my relationship with another girl in the class, a girl whom I really did care about and a girl that I dated for that year of college.

I am sorry if this is the wrong thread, I didn't know where else to post it and I think I needed to rant as I just found out that the girl I dated during that year of college is engaged and still thinks what some of what the other girl said was true.

Pathetic rant I know. Sorry!

BLACKEN · 16-03-2010 12:13PM

Kimia wrote: »

I had the body smothering too! And after about a minute he was SOAKED in sweat we were drenched it was horrendous. i wanted to cry I was so disgusted.

Jesus i almost threw up a lil bit when i read that!

the worst date i ever went on was a few months bak when i meet up with some chick of bebo! yes i know BEBO........ how sad!lol anyways it was quite arkward at first but we still ended up kissing..........hehe im a smooth bastard! :P yeh i've never had any really bad dates!

Wibbs · 16-03-2010 12:25PM

MonkeyBone wrote: »

The worst relationship I ever had happened last year while finishing my last year of college. I am still feeling the ramifications of it now and was being harassed by a girl I was friends with in my class, during the closing months of college. It is too long a story for this post but basically she was going abroad and began to act irratic. I was seriously ignorant to the fact that this girl had a thing for me. The lies she spread about me were scandelous and it came to the point were I even had to reveal the most personal aspects of my life to a lecturer (i.e. That my mother was not my biological mother at all and I was adopted) and I even had to contact the gardai. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of I know but it is personal to me as my biological mother shun me when I tried to get in touch and it was because my step-brother, her son (many years older then me), committed suicide before I was born. Who I share it with is my choice but she made me out to have lied about who I was all along.

Anyways, that was the least of some of the things she said. Now it has been 6 months since then and she is still abroad, happy as can be and I honestly do not begrudge her of that but my question is, how does someone get over that level of personal attack and betrayal. Her actions cost me my relationship with another girl in the class, a girl whom I really did care about and a girl that I dated for that year of college.

I am sorry if this is the wrong thread, I didn't know where else to post it and I think I needed to rant as I just found out that the girl I dated during that year of college is engaged and still thinks what some of what the other girl said was true.

Pathetic rant I know. Sorry!

What do you do? The best answer IMHO is to live your life. Leave her and her issues and the past in the past where it belongs.

Sinall · 16-03-2010 12:32PM

Went on a nightmare of a date about six years ago, but can still remember every details. Met a guy out one Saturday night, numbers were exchanged etc etc, and we met up on the following Thursday night in a pub in town for a few drinks.

While we were in the pub a couple of guys I knew from college came in and I introduced my date to them and we chatted for maybe 2 minutes, no more. By this stage my date was sitting down with a group of girls nearby, whom I presumed he knew, so I headed over there. The girls are looking mortified and my date (We will call him Fred) says, "Oh seeing as you were off chatting up other men I thought I'd come over here and chat up these girls!"

So I said "Sorry about that" to the girls and we moved away, only to have him rant at me about how he couldn't believe I would do such a terrible thing like talk to people I knew when I was out with him. I said that I had introduced him, I had only been talking to the guys for a very short time and that I didn't think there was anything wrong but was sorry if that had upset him. Was feeling a bit alarmed at this stage so I went into the toilet and came out intending to make my excuses and leave. When I came out he was waiting by the toilet door, seized me and said sorrowfully, "Baby, let us not fight. That's for other people, not us. Let's never fight again." Just then the country & western, Hank Williams style guy who was playing that night shouts into his microphone, "This one's for Fred and Sinall and their future together!". It was terrible.

He also ranted on about how it wasn't my fault where I was born (I was born in England) and how he had spent 6 months up North planting pipe bombs :eek: Was a bit scared at this stage but managed to make my excuses and depart. Gave him €40 to get home as he had lost his wallet and was attempting to come back to mine. Was happy to wave goodbye to the money if it meant I never had to see him again.

banie01 · 16-03-2010 04:46PM

My worst sex story is like a tragic comedy!!

The morning after my 18th Birthday party, my GF called over to wake me up in the nicest possible way

(And since I had to have her home at 12 the night before she was fresh as a daisy!LOL)
Anyways.....A little later that morning and we are in full on rock the room mode, when all of a sudden my GF lets out a scream......:eek::eek:!
I think to myself hmmmmm 18 years really do a man make:P!
She's never done that in the previous 2 years we were going out

:D Go me I must be a legendary swordsman!!!
Manhood! I have arrived!:D:D

So in the .05secs it takes all these thoughts of my fantastic sexual prowess to flash through my mind;) :pac::pac:
My GF screams again!! and I realise that there's actually something wrong with her....

So I extricate myself and my GF is in agony...Holding her stomach and crying, So I have to help her dress and end up carrying her over to her Mams!
Where I haveta explain in the politest terms possible what happened, to her Folks!!!!! Without implying that their firstborn daughter and myself were in anyway involved in any sexual activity!!:o:p

While this is going on....The hangover of my life is starting to set in!

And my GF has called for an ambulance!,
We get to the hospital and it turns out my GF had an ovarian cyst that ruptured mid shag!!!!
She spent 11days in hospital and I was with her everyday, feeling guilty as sin for putting her through all that......Along with waiting for the second scream :P Before I copped onto the fact she was hurt!

Apres Moi · 03-05-2010 04:56AM

A little while a ago I hooked up with a handsome dj. We went back to his place and got up to shenanigans, all very nice but there was an, um, "contraceptive mishap". Being a good, responsible young man, he was freaking out even more than I was, but I reassured him that I'd head to the doctor first thing.

Early the next morning, we're getting dressed and he takes out his wallet and hands me €50. There was an *extremely* awkward pause before I realised he was politely paying for the GP visit. Oh, overtones, overtones...

SarahMs · 03-05-2010 09:49AM

all i have to say is......

'you must have spilled water on the....... wait.......... did you wet yourself?'

Apres Moi · 03-05-2010 08:25PM

Ok, I posted this psuedonymously elsewhere, but I reckon it's worth reposting here.

I'd recently come out of a very long relationship, we'd been going out since our teens, so sufficed to say, I was pretty out of practice with the whole single thing.

I got chatting to this lovely guy outside a club; tall, very handsome, smart, definitely a catch. We ended up kissing (woo!) and headed back to a lovely house party with his lovely friends. More kissing, everything going great. But I'm a bit nervous, this is all a bit new to me, so I lash into a bit of dutch courage. A little too vigorously as it turns out. He asks me back to his house and I drunkenly think, "Sure, feck it, why not?".

We hop in a cab, and when we're almost there, I throw up on myself - that sort of sick where you try to hold it in your mouth, but some squirts out like a little fountain. We exit the cab and he realises he's lost his keys. I, drunk out of my mind and squirming in mortification, get back in the taxi and abandon the poor b*stard outside his house at four in the morning (with his housemate still back at the party) and head home.

Incidentally, I never got his number so I can't even apologise.

Apres Moi · 04-05-2010 02:34AM

Ooh, one more. Though this is a friend of a friend story.

This particular guy was getting frisky with a certain lady, when horrifically, his foreskin got twisted. He had to go to hospital and have a medical circumcision.

So as to avoid any waking-up-screaming-in-the-morning moments (any boys here'll know what I'm getting at), he was given a course of high dose oestrogen for about a month. Not enough for long term effects, but enough to keep everything dampened down.

He couldn't handle it at all. He became a total blubbering wreck, bursting into tears at random in college. One day a friend of his came in wearing a shirt that the poor emotional man had previously expressed a disliking for and he tearfully accused him of 'wearing it just to upset him'.

I can only presume that was his worst date.

Jenneke87 · 04-05-2010 10:16AM

I was at a friends party, and I got talking to this guy and we got off really great, had a lot of simular interests and so on. To cut a long story short, he went home with me. In the heath of things we forgot to use a condom, and he freaked out completely after hearing that. I told him not to worry, and that I would go to the doctor first thing in the morning. He hurridly pushed 50E in my hand saying::" Do you mind if I pay for it?", at first thinking he was implying something totally different untill I realised he wanted to pay for the morning after pill. All the while, he was acting really panicky, muttering things, pushing me away and I was standing there baffled. Surely it´s not a pleasant situation but to freak out like that....

Turned out he wasn´t freaking out over the morning after pill but that he went home with the wrong woman that night. He had a girlfriend of three years and they were about to get engaged......

04-05-2010 03:38PM

Oh gods, the worst person I ever went out with was definately a year ago. He was all sweet and nice in during the first month or two. But after that he seemed to get the idea that he had me hooked and his behaviour steadily went down hill. I started getting calls at all times of the day, him wanting to know exactly where I was, what I was doing and with whom, expecting me to abandon my friends for him. He even continually insinuated that when I told him I had a social disorder I was just trying to get off 'being lazy' or 'not making an effort'. Needless to say it didn't last long. In hindsight I realised he really just wanted something pretty to put on his arm, not a real person.

your worst dates/sex/relationships etc..... Ladies & Lads!

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