Girlfriend away - should I worry

stoneytoad wrote: »

I've been seeing this girl for 2 years. She has gone travelling with friends to the USA for 2 months. We agreed to be faithful. Now she tells me she has being faithful, but "fooled around".

I tried to put it out of my head but keep thinking about what she got up to. I wish I hadn't. She told me how she shared a bed with a guy. Said they didn't have intercourse, but did have oral sex.

Should I forget about this? As a holiday experience or worry?

She said she's remained faithful but has had oral? That’s not staying faithful to you. Even if it was only a snog she would still have been unfaithful to you.

You need to have a chat with her and ask her if she is going to continue doing this while she is away. If so you need to have a long hard think about getting back with her. Can you forget this and move on when she gets back? Or maybe she is doing this so you lose interest in her?

I think its very selfish of her to tell you this while she is still away tbh.

Agree with the others here.
That's ridiculous - she's only gone for 2 months not a year and even then people can stay faithful. 2months is nothing in the scale of things.

You guys made an agreement to stay faithful to each other, she's broken that - she's not even just kissed someone, she's done what she's done. In my book, that's game over.

You need to think if you want to be with her when she comes back, personally I don't think I could. That she couldn't go a few weeks? (as I assume her 2months aren't up yet) It's not something I'd class as 'holiday experience'.

edit - just seen your new post.
'it was very cold that night and wanted to cuddle' ? = lame excuse to me.
If she was 'that drunk' she'd have passed out before being able to do anything.

then again - it's up to you, what you think of it.

If she doesn't see it as cheating you're probably on very different wavelenghts.

If you do consider this to be cheating (like most people would) then it's over.
Move on.

Sorry.

stoneytoad wrote: »

Now she tells me she has being faithful, but "fooled around".

What this literally says is "im not cheating on you but i cheated a bit".

Said they didn't have intercourse, but did have oral sex.

That's cheating man. After 2 years and she doesnt' consider this cheating, she hasn't got a clue.

Should I forget about this? As a holiday experience or worry?

Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship. We went 4 months without seeing each other before christmas and neither of us cheated. We've been on seperate holidays as well and didn't cheat either. Your missus couldn't even go 2 months without "accidently" blowing some guy she decided to share a bed with to keep warm? Sorry man, id say the best thing to do is give her the boot and don't look back. It's not just the act itself, it's more the way she tried to pass it off as nothing. It just means that if she can get away with once, she'll do it again.

Sharing a bed to keep warm is a really sexy thing to be doing, it's not practical at all. Exception probably if you are climbing mountains in the snow or something. Otherwise hot water bottle or extra clothes.

Everyone has it spot on here - "Forget about it?" Please don't do that to yourself! Come on, think about it, a drunk snog is probably the only thing you could consider forgiving (and I mean consider forgiving) but same bed and oral sex? Big red flag on that one, especially since it's two years you guys are dating now...if it was two weeks then you might say you hadn't been through the "we're a couple" thing but two years is ridiculous.

What now? You meet her off the plane and give her a welcome home kiss...you sure when you kiss her you won't now be thinking where her mouth was not so long ago while you two were supposed to be together?

For me this would be so cut and dry end of relationship from the moment she would have told me that - regardless of drink she actually made that choice, no-one accidentally gives someone oral and continues it, she wanted to do it and you're being taken for the proverbial ride if you continue to stay with her.

And it was a cold night - that's the worst excuse in the history books - like others said, get a blanket, hot water bottle, turn on the heat, wear some extra clothes... Hey put it this way, if you go away someplace and are cold, are you going to warm your face between some girls legs? Think she'd go "oh really? it was cold and you put your tongue inside a girl for some warmth, that's FINE babe! As long as you didn't get frostbite, I'm so glad you found warmth that night"...eh, I don't think so!

End it and find someone you deserve.

End it now she is a cheat and if she thinks its not cheating, she will keep doing it, leave now and keep your self respect. How are you ever gonna have piece of mind again while she is out with friends. Ultimately i can only see you becoming paranoid and never having any peace of mind with this girl and you are only going to torture youself. End it move on and find a girl who deserves you.

Also ok some girls get really drunk and end up kissing a guy and have sex because the guy on top is doing all the work. But really how if she is so drunk can she give oral and not know what she is doing. This is a lousy excuse really, not that im defending girls who get drunk and end up having sex.

stoneytoad wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. Everyone is saying the same thing? End of the relationship? The trouble is that I love this girl so much. I can't imagine not having her in my life. Perhaps I should have gone with her (I couldn't get all that time off work) and this wouldn't have happened.

Also, I may have done things to push her away. I acted jealous before when she started going swimming with a male friend at her job. I overreacted saying that it wasn't right. My selflessness might be the real problem here? Or part of it anyway.

Did *you* put the other man's willy in her mouth too?
No excuse.
Don't let her make you doubt yourself! It's ridiculous that she'd try to brush this off her and onto you.
She cheated.
It's not your fault!
How bad would you feel if the situation was reversed and you had gone off with another girl?
Would you feel like you had cheated?
If so, welcome to the world of being human!

Don't start to doubt yourself!

star-pants wrote: »

You can't go there - what if she gets drunk and cold?

That's it right there! You'll basically be worried now even if she's bloody cold :eek: cause she needs a guy to warm her up...get rid of her fast!