Put your foot in it

Agent Smith · 16-12-2009 03:04AM

brendansmith wrote: »

Woke up this morning put on one shoe and said to the OH wheres my other shoe?
Says she "Over there!"
So I pit my foot in it.

Boy was my face red :mad:

/me watches tumble weed roll past

kumate_champ07 · 16-12-2009 03:17AM

I was at a party and sat down at the kitchen table with some lads, was fairly hammered. I asked a mate where another mate was and he said he wasnt sure, so I said "he's prob upstairs ridin da hole of his girlfriend". I didnt realise her brother was right beside me, had never met him before, that was awkward

kumate_champ07 · 16-12-2009 03:24AM

I was with some friends in a car going to a nightclub in naas. I had tried to get it one time and the bouncers stopped me. as we approached I made a 'joke' that I should pretend to be retarded.., actually the joke was pretty retarded, anyway nobody laughed and then my mate a few mins later says his girlfriend who was with us has a sister with downs syndrome. felt like an ass.

simonw · 16-12-2009 03:27AM

not really so much funny as it was horrifically awkward...

In an old job, a few days after the christmas party, and I was in the locker room talking to a mate who hadn't been in work since then. Another lad who was a bit of a knob had got absolutely ****faced and couldn't remember anything after a certain point in the night. One of his mates told him the next day that he'd scored another guy from work, who was a very effeminate, shy, gay guy. and who was ever so quiet...
so anyway, I'm relaying this story about how the drunk guy was now more or less convinced he'd kissed the gay dude, and how he was pretty homophobic, and his reactions at being told were priceless. The guy i was telling the story to started acting strange, and i continued for probably 15-20 seconds before turning around and realising that the gay guy had walked in at some point was getting changed a few feet behind me... now that was fun to explain to him...

starbelgrade · 16-12-2009 03:39AM

I was left with the babysitting duties of my nephew & niece during the funeral of their granny a while back.

The youngest (5), kept asking me to tell her jokes & laughed at every one that I made up (none of which made much sense, or were even funny). Jokes like - "why did the monster have 3 ears? Because he was eeeeeeeerie".

Stupid, but you gotta remember the audience. Then I kinda killed the fun with this one.. "why didn't the chicken cross the road?.. coz he got hit by a car on the way over".

Her granny was killed crossing a road. My niece looked at me with a very confused & sad face. I felt soooo bad.

brendansmith · 16-12-2009 03:48AM

Agent Smith wrote: »

/me watches tumble weed roll past

Good one!

liamygunner29 · 16-12-2009 04:42AM

My ma said to her friend(whos husband had shot himself a few years back) about sum incident where she had previously put her foot in it "I felt like shooting myelf"

My Da an Arsenal fan met a lad that delivered to his work and who he had the football banter with every Saturday and this Saturday United had one the league. This unfortunate cnut had a head that wouldn't stay up straight and was always hanging to the side. Some neck problem. Anyway he says something smart to me Da bout United been great and my Da in one of the most horrific moments I've witnessed, slow-motion and with devilish purpose said "you have some neck walking in here and saying that". Your man was proper hurt. His rarely funny and he had no idea how bad it was.

Lastly and most impressivley and my greatest story of all. I was working in a chip van at Glastonbury earlier this year. Harry Enfield came and orderd some burgers for him and these 2 kids. He asks me did I see anyone good I said "I was working and only saw Lilly Allen and Bruce Springsteen so far, Lilly Allen is ****e but pretty hot so was ok". At this my collegues(who were watchin the transaction) all went quite and Harry Enfield went quite and the kids went nuts.

I was latter informed that Harry Enfield was Lilly Allens step dad and also that the 2 kids were her step brother and sister (or something to that effect). Harry Enfield is the biggest ledge ever dough cuz I think he knew I had no idea and he was was loving it. He gave me a 17 pound tip!!!!!

kumate_champ07 · 16-12-2009 05:26AM

liamygunner29 wrote: »

Harry Enfield came and orderd some burgers for him and these 2 kids. He asks me did I see anyone good I said "I was working and only saw Lilly Allen and Bruce Springsteen so far, Lilly Allen is ****e but pretty hot so was ok". At this my collegues(who were watchin the transaction) all went quite and Harry Enfield went quite and the kids went nuts.

I was latter informed that Harry Enfield was Lilly Allens step dad and also that the 2 kids were her step brother and sister (or something to that effect). Harry Enfield is the biggest ledge ever dough cuz I think he knew I had no idea and he was was loving it. He gave me a 17 pound tip!!!!!

awesome!

DO'Carlo/Wex · 16-12-2009 05:35AM

Told a joke in my work canteen one morning before we all started about a missing person.
It could've been ANY missing person but like a klutz, the one I mentioned just HAD unbeknownst to me to be related (1st-Cousin) to a member of staff who was sitting in front of me.
Had the joke told & it went down like a lead-balloon. Seemed like I was only one NOT to know.
Was subtly informed after why it eh, didn't work & aplogised & kept distance.

Another time, I was walking up the stairs & an unreal looking bird with cleavage that she didn't mind displaying & a backside you could fry an egg on (that's a good thing right?) was walking up ahead of me.
A fellow male colleague was walking alongside me & I say "Ain't God good to us all the same creating the female form like that?".
He then interjects that he's her' UNCLE!
I near enough fell backwards & then remembered that this was this guys 2d Time Around in my workplace & that he'd told me this that time a few years' previous so I'd really no excuse bar a bad memory!

artanevilla · 16-12-2009 05:47AM

mfceiling wrote: »

The missus has a mate living in artane.
The other night she was having a coffee in her kitchen with her sister when her sister pipes up with "that girl in the house behind you is walking about totally naked with the curtains wide open" - apparently she was a cracker of a brazilian au pair who had moved in with the neighbours.
His missus goes into the living room to the husband and relays the info to him.
Yer man never lifts his eyes of the tele and replys " sure she's been doing that the last 2 weeks!!"
He gradually went bright red as he realised his sister in law was standing there giving him daggers!! Quality.

Have you ever opened your mouth and uttered something then realised "shít, that should have been on inner monologue"??

Holy **** where!?

seanybiker · 16-12-2009 05:51AM

was talking to the barman in me local a few months back. Turns out I knew his wife to see from years ago. Me being nice asked him how she was keeping. Turns out she died 2 years ago.

congo_90 · 16-12-2009 05:54AM

To a barman I worked with.
That blonde is f*cking hot! I'd well bend her over!

His reply:

Thats my sister :eek:

Callin a teacher mam before.

when i stand in dog sh*t.. yea thats puttn your foot in it.

Tilt Gone · 16-12-2009 06:45AM

Proceeding to tell a few of my mates in the pub all the evil perverted things I would do to this hot girl at the end of the bar. Couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing until one of the guys perks up and says " That's my baby sister dude".

Scarlet I was!!

sam34 · 16-12-2009 09:12AM

i remember reading a similar thread here in ah a few years back, and a guy posted how he had accidentally opened an umbrella very near a work colleagues face (outdoors, though) and apologised saying "oh sorry, i nearly took your eye out".... turned out your man had a glass eye!

Abi · 16-12-2009 09:41AM

I have put my foot in it a couple of times. I'll have to think of an example, but I'm always at it. That said, I'm a bit of a waffler and know how to dig my way out of it convincingly :pac:

Canard · 16-12-2009 09:55AM

I did it myself once sort of. I kept slipping out 'my parents' when my mam died a while ago..>.<

Also, one of my friends' dad is dead. I know this guy who did his leaving last year..I swear, he looks about 40, no joke. They were hanging out and one guy asked him (in front of BOTH of them) 'haha is that your dad?' 'my dad is dead'
It was sorta hard not to laugh at how he noticed how old the guy looked, but the joke really wasnt funny.

I cant think of anything else atm but I remember I would ALWAYS put my foot it in when I was younger.
(Also, I was lol'ing at this whole thread :'D)

GavRedKing · 16-12-2009 10:41AM

Had a very bad one a few years back in college. There was about 10-15 people at my buddies college house and I must of known at least half of them.

About an hour before we were going to hit town and a few drinks into the night, a Britney Spears song came on and the topic of her kids was brought up and I piped up stating I dont think I could raise somebody elses kids because I couldnt treat them as my own and I couldnt trust them to which one of the girls I dont know said she felt closer to her step father as he was in her life since she could rememebr and thought of him as her father.

I only wish I had been to drunk to forget it and claim it didnt happen.

Put your foot in it

Comments