What is it with managers?Have you ever had a boss that was an absolute numpty?

ejmaztec · 10-12-2009 02:26PM

This has always inspired me in whatever workplace I've been in:

When God made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss...

The brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be boss...

The legs argued that since they took the man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss...

The stomach countered with the explanation that since he digested all the food, he should be boss...

The eyes said that without them the man would be helpless, so they should be boss...

Then the arsehole applied for the job.

The other parts of the body laughed so hard that the arsehole became mad and closed up.

After a few days, the brain went foggy, the legs got wobbly, the stomach got ill, the eyes got crossed and unable to see.

They all conceded and made the arsehole boss.

Moral? You don't have to be a brain to be boss. Just an arsehole.........

star.chaser · 10-12-2009 02:29PM

sorrywhat wrote: »

Does anyone else's managers ask them to do a task with a brief explanation of what they would like you to do?

You do said task.

They then proceed to p!ss all over you work saying thats not what they asked for and why didnt you do it such and such a way.

I often wonder "why the fcuk didnt you just do it yourself you bint!"

I find if you fcuk it up a few times and are good at acting like you genuinely thought that you did it as they wanted, they'll soon stop asking you.

SeaFields · 10-12-2009 02:39PM

The last few years has seen it be really easy to be a manager. Businesses were expanding. Sales targets were being forever broken. Contracts for new work were flying in. There were always new projects on the horizon.

Then the bust...

You now have people in positions of authority and responsibility they should have never found themselves in. They don't have the skills, intelligence or competence to be where they are. They got there by default. Expanding businesses needed new managers for new growth and any tom, díck or harry that applied was getting their foot on that management ladder.

Sh!t is starting to hit the fan now in so many business. They are finding they do not have the leaders to help them out of the mess they are in.

***rant over*** gotta head to work now and show manager how to turn on her computer. :rolleyes: (BELIEVE ME ....i have had to do this on several occasions!!!)

geeky · 10-12-2009 04:56PM

Inspired by an earlier thread today, has anyone had a boss who was an absolute muppet - not necessarily mean, just someone without any real idea what they were doing?

I've got a lovely boss, but he actually doesn't have a clue. I fear it's endangering the company and by extension my job. I'd go into details but this is a public forum: suffice to say he's doing fairly stupid things consistently, running around from issue to issue like a headless chicken without resolving anything, and delaying any single fecking decision endlessly.

Has anyone ever had this problem, and how did they deal with it?

genericguy · 10-12-2009 05:03PM

geeky wrote: »

I've got a lovely boss, but he actually doesn't have a clue.

mine is unnecessarily cnutish and also hasn't got a clue. so shut up.

orourkeda · 10-12-2009 05:05PM

Arent they all a shower of f*ckwits

--Kaiser-- · 10-12-2009 05:06PM

Most of my bosses through the years have been
A) a55holes
b) thick as two short planks and
c) utterly useless and incompetent

Doyler92 · 10-12-2009 05:07PM

I am the boss, just in general not a boss of any certain thing. I consider myself nice.

Saint_Mel · 10-12-2009 05:09PM

I got a bit of IT work during the college summer holidays a good few years ago.
Boss came down to my desk one day and said/asked ... "Will we do Java"
"Do what in Java" I asked, and his reply was, "I dont know, but I hear a lot of people talking about it, so I think we should do it too"

After staring at him for a minute I just said, "Right, I'll look into it" ... and that was the last I ever heard from him about it.

He also had a habit of sitting on my desk and chewing my biros and he would frequently try to show me something on the computer and get angry that the mouse pointer didnt move when he was moving the mouse. He was actually moving the stapler and would shake it franticially to try to get it to work. He finally copped on when he heavily tapped it a few times off the desk to try and get it working but only managed to fire a staple into his finger

Dudess · 10-12-2009 05:09PM

I had a boss who was a cross between David Brent and Ian Beale. A person for whom the term "cunt" was surely coined.

tech77 · 10-12-2009 05:10PM

geeky wrote: »

Inspired by an earlier thread today, has anyone had a boss who was an absolute muppet - not necessarily mean, just someone without any real idea what they were doing?

I've got a lovely boss, but he actually doesn't have a clue. I fear it's endangering the company and by extension my job. I'd go into details but this is a public forum: suffice to say he's doing fairly stupid things consistently, running around from issue to issue like a headless chicken without resolving anything, and delaying any single fecking decision endlessly.

Has anyone ever had this problem, and how did they deal with it?

Geeky, get back to work.
We'll work out your notice later.

Sea Sharp · 10-12-2009 05:13PM

Yes.
Lets just say that cleaning the place at the end of the night, to proper health standards, is considered bad as it takes one or 2 more hours of labor.
Cutting corners and not cleaning items that have and will come into contact with food is ok so long as you finish up early.

The fool isn't able to identify what will or will not get a restaurant shut down. And he's a lazy bastard too.

who what when · 10-12-2009 05:15PM

Saint_Mel wrote: »

I got a bit of IT work during the college summer holidays a good few years ago.
Boss came down to my desk one day and said/asked ... "Will we do Java"
"Do what in Java" I asked, and his reply was, "I dont know, but I hear a lot of people talking about it, so I think we should do it too"

After staring at him for a minute I just said, "Right, I'll look into it" ... and that was the last I ever heard from him about it.

He also had a habit of sitting on my desk and chewing my biros and he would frequently try to show me something on the computer and get angry that the mouse pointer didnt move when he was moving the mouse. He was actually moving the stapler and would shake it franticially to try to get it to work. He finally copped on when he heavily tapped it a few times off the desk to try and get it working but only managed to fire a staple into his finger

That isnt true, it couldnt possibly be!

Big Knox · 10-12-2009 05:23PM

who what when wrote: »

That isnt true, it couldnt possibly be!

Your missing the point, the point is you need to push the thanks button on that post as fast as possible before you realise that yes it is definitely aload of sh1t!!

geeky · 10-12-2009 05:24PM

Thanks for that, but what do/have you guys do/done to deal with the situation?!

cherryghost · 10-12-2009 05:26PM

my boss owns two internet cafes and barely knows how to turn a pc on...

dylano_k · 10-12-2009 05:28PM

Must be a numpty..he hired you:p

geeky · 10-12-2009 05:29PM

dylano_k wrote: »

Must be a numpty..he hired you:p

Cheers Dylano, but I'm the one keeping the thing going

I actually posted this as a serious problem in the personal issues forum, got told to get jobhunting!

stovelid · 10-12-2009 05:31PM

When I had part-time jobs, in school and college, I had a few. I've been lucky since I started full-time work though. They've been sound and competent by and large.

Doodee · 10-12-2009 05:31PM

Saint_Mel wrote: »

I got a bit of IT work during the college summer holidays a good few years ago.
Boss came down to my desk one day and said/asked ... "Will we do Java"
"Do what in Java" I asked, and his reply was, "I dont know, but I hear a lot of people talking about it, so I think we should do it too"

After staring at him for a minute I just said, "Right, I'll look into it" ... and that was the last I ever heard from him about it.

He also had a habit of sitting on my desk and chewing my biros and he would frequently try to show me something on the computer and get angry that the mouse pointer didnt move when he was moving the mouse. He was actually moving the stapler and would shake it franticially to try to get it to work. He finally copped on when he heavily tapped it a few times off the desk to try and get it working but only managed to fire a staple into his finger

We used to do that to the interns too. Was always funny seeing would they discuss it with co-workers or not. The looks on their faces when it happened, and also their parting words when going back to college.

It's kinda nice, Kinda leaves them feeling like they know better and will really make it some day.

Jay P · 10-12-2009 05:37PM

geeky wrote: »

Cheers Dylano, but I'm the one keeping the thing going

I actually posted this as a serious problem in the personal issues forum, got told to get jobhunting!

Well if you're looking for a serious answer, and I know it's a total cliché, but After Hours definitely is not the place to be looking for one.

But yes, I have a boss or two who could do with a frontal labotomy. And a good punch in the face. They're lovely though

Kradock · 10-12-2009 05:43PM

geeky wrote: »

Inspired by an earlier thread today, has anyone had a boss who was an absolute muppet - not necessarily mean, just someone without any real idea what they were doing?

I've got a lovely boss, but he actually doesn't have a clue. I fear it's endangering the company and by extension my job. I'd go into details but this is a public forum: suffice to say he's doing fairly stupid things consistently, running around from issue to issue like a headless chicken without resolving anything, and delaying any single fecking decision endlessly.

Has anyone ever had this problem, and how did they deal with it?

Geeky , we work together, there couldn't be 2 bosses that exist as you've described:)

geeky · 10-12-2009 05:46PM

Jay P wrote: »

Well if you're looking for a serious answer, and I know it's a total cliché, but After Hours definitely is not the place to be looking for one.

But yes, I have a boss or two who could do with a frontal labotomy. And a good punch in the face. They're lovely though

A fair point! but I love the job other than the sense that my work is being ballsed up by inept overlings, so 'dust off the aul CV' ain't much use.

Do you think I should sit it out in the hope he grows a brain/enjoy it while it lasts, or jump ship asap?

Lockstep · 10-12-2009 05:46PM

I've had some ****e ones.

Mainly men who thought that because they were ina job where they got to wear suits, they were wheeler-dealer entrepreneur types. Useless creatures.
Women with hair on their upper lips and evil in their hearts.

And the BNP who went ape**** over my lack of respect for Nick Griffin. Later in the night, for bringing up a customers (reasonable) respect, I was threatened with repeated physical abuse ("I'll take ya outside and split your head open"), upon being told that I wans't accepting that in the workplace (especially from a supervisor), kicked me out of the place saying he'd get me fired (I wasn't luckily)

ItsNoAlias · 10-12-2009 05:46PM

Oh yes I have definately had a few!. Not in my current job being as they are all incredibly competant and sound but I used to work nights in a well known call centre and I thought all management, bar a few, were definate numpties.

Fratton Fred · 10-12-2009 06:06PM

Dudess wrote: »

I had a boss who was a cross between David Brent and Ian Beale. A person for whom the term "cunt" was surely coined.

I know the sort of guy you mean.

At the moment, my boss is a bit like this guy

Saint_Mel · 10-12-2009 06:09PM

Big Knox wrote: »

Your missing the point, the point is you need to push the thanks button on that post as fast as possible before you realise that yes it is definitely aload of sh1t!!

Not a word of a lie in my post. The man was a simpleton.
Although the main confusion over the stapler/mouse seemed to be the fact that Im left handed and had the mouse to the left of the keyboard. He couldnt grasp that fact and kept grabbing the closest thing to the right, which in most cases was the stapler.

The man was a prime example of the Dilbert Principal.

What is it with managers?Have you ever had a boss that was an absolute numpty?

Comments