Have you ever been mocked because of your appearance?

Pighead · 24-11-2009 10:33AM #1

Pighead is only out of bed about two hours yet already this is shaping up as one of the worst days of his life. Absolutely horrible day so far and Pighead knows exactly how those poor flood people must be feeling.

The day started off like all the others. Alarm Clock- Grumble- Stretch- Yawn- Grumble- Wee Wee- Grumble- Bathroom- Wash Face- Brush Teeth- Grumble. It was at this point things took a turn for the worse.

Looked in the mirror and whilst admiring the face looking back at him, Pighead suddenly realised something wasn't right. The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest. Tried smoothing it down with water but it just bounced straight back up again. Tried using wax and gel but this just made it look shiny and if anything solidified it. Disaster.

In times of disaster Miss Piggy is usually Pighead's first port of call and so into the bedroom he went. Told her about the bed hair and how it wouldn't go away and asked her how to fix it. Unfortunately she wasn't really too helpful and mainly just pointed and laughed whilst shrieking "Mr Majeika!"

Pighead's in work now and he knows that everybody is looking and probably pointing at his sticky up hair. It can only be a matter of time before somebody calls him jedward or worse still spunkhead. Every snigger feels like a dagger through the chest. Every laugh out loud like a slap in the face. Pighead's used to people staring at him but usually they're stares of wonderment thrown in with a bit of swooning. This was different. They were ridiculing him. Mocking his appearance. "This must be what it's like to be ginger, port stained or Brendan Kilkenny" thought Pighead. This is gonna be a long long day and it's going to take all of Pighead's renowned mental fortitude to get through it.

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance? Do you have any cures for bed hair? Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Long Onion · 24-11-2009 10:36AM

Pighead wrote: »

. Alarm Clock- Grumble- Stretch- Yawn- Grumble- Wee Wee- Grumble- Bathroom- Wash Face- Brush Teeth- Grumble.

Pighead pisses in his bed.

Kradock · 24-11-2009 10:38AM

Try having a shower

Pighead · 24-11-2009 10:41AM

Long Onion wrote: »

Pighead pisses in his bed.

Or maybe he sleeps on the toilet. That's the thing about sleeping. It's subjective.

LD 50 · 24-11-2009 11:04AM

I thought Pighead never slept.

davyjose · 24-11-2009 11:05AM

Pighead wrote: »

Looked in the mirror and whilst admiring the face looking back at him, Pighead suddenly realised something wasn't right. The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest. Tried smoothing it down with water but it just bounced straight back up again. Tried using wax and gel but this just made it look shiny and if anything solidified it. Disaster.

Jedward?

Pighead · 24-11-2009 11:06AM

Kradock wrote: »

Try having a shower

Pighead does his showering at night time. Morning time is for grumbling and weeing. And if you are for one minute trying to suggest that Pighead is unhygienic you can bog right off sonny jim. This poster has impeccable smelling armpits/chest/groinal regions and you are quite welcome to sniff them to verify this.

SteeveSmith · 24-11-2009 11:06AM

I'm ginger.

Handsome Bob · 24-11-2009 11:07AM

Pighead wrote: »

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance?

I got a text message one New Year's Eve at midnight saying "Happy New Year Shrek". I thought it was some girl, turns out it was my mates. *****. :pac:

CreepingDeath · 24-11-2009 11:07AM

Pighead wrote: »

The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest.

Sounds like you were re-enacting a scene from "There's something about Mary".

Jenneke87 · 24-11-2009 11:13AM

Yes. I experience quite often people staring at me openly in the streets and pointing at me. I still don't know why, but they do it. last time was a couple of weeks ago where a group of girls pointed at me and whispered:" Owh my god." i suppose there's a part of me that's weird looking that i haven't noticed yet after 22 years....

jenneke

Pighead · 24-11-2009 11:17AM

SteeveSmith wrote: »

I'm ginger.

Is it as bad as they say it is? Today, Pighead got a taste of what you probably go through every single day of your life and he sure as hell didn't like it. What's the cruelest thing anybody has said to you?

me_right_one · 24-11-2009 11:18AM

Yes

6th · 24-11-2009 11:19AM

Pighead wrote: »

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance?

Yes. Damn player haters.

Pighead wrote: »

Do you have any cures for bed hair?

Yes. Shave your head.

Pighead wrote: »

Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Yes.

Kradock · 24-11-2009 11:19AM

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead does his showering at night time. Morning time is for grumbling and weeing. And if you are for one minute trying to suggest that Pighead is unhygienic you can bog right off sonny jim. This poster has impeccable smelling armpits/chest/groinal regions and you are quite welcome to sniff them to verify this.

So Pighead showers at night before he lays down in the sty with his sow and remains impeccably smelling in his sweaty regions. Fair enough.

Thanks for the offer of the sniff test but Kradock will have to decline and take Pighead at his grunt.

Gang of Gin · 24-11-2009 11:20AM

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

enda1 · 24-11-2009 11:24AM

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

RIP

davyjose · 24-11-2009 11:26AM

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

Agreed. Pighead, you've brought AH into disrepute.

Pighead · 24-11-2009 11:33AM

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

You're a nasty nasty man Gang of Gin. Let Pighead ask you this. If trees could scream would you be so cavalier in cutting them down? That's a rhetorical question by the way. No need to answer it. Just because you can't see into Pighead's eyes it doesn't mean he doesn't have any.

You waltz around boards begging people to help you look for a pair of Paul Newman glasses and then in the very next breath you ridicule the very people who you are asking for help. Would you stab a surgeon whilst he was in the middle of trying to fix your brain? Course not. So why attack Pighead. A man who was willing to send you a pair of Paul Newman glasses for free. Well you can consider that offer withdrawn buddy and whatsmore Pighead hopes you never find them. he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses for the rest of your days. Mean people deserve mean glasses.

Lux23 · 24-11-2009 11:37AM

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged then but haven't since that I know of.

Pighead · 24-11-2009 11:40AM

Lux23 wrote: »

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged then but haven't since that I know of.

Reminds Pighead of the old saying "We used to laugh at Granddad when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town."

Hells Belle · 24-11-2009 11:42AM

Pighead I feel your pain, I came into work yesterday with my top on inside out, snigger my collegues did, tell me they did not, I didn't notice until 12.30, ba5tards!

Today I had no electricty when I woke up so I couldn't straighten my hair, my hair is two inches shorter and 2 foot wider, like a Suntot....

I'm not getting much piss taken though cause 3 of the lads came in in blue shirts and navy trousers and they all look like gardai, oh the doghnut/porcine jokes are flying all over the place, karma is an oul whore :pac:

Earthhorse · 24-11-2009 11:47AM

I'd like to tell you that the mockers get their comeuppance, I really would, but that's not the way the world works.

It was the late nighties, and the height of the sta-prest (stay pressed) trend started by the Levi's corporation. Yours truly had a pair of sta-prest jeans that kinda looked like flares, only cooler. Walking through Temple Bar I rounded the corner only to be greeted with the site of Dave McSavage and a crowd listening to his antics. For those who don't know his act, McSavage busks in the district, savagely mocking the appearance of passers by for the amusement of tourists. I paused. I thought, I should just head on to the next street rather than risk walking by him. Then, I reconsidered. I pay my taxes, I have a right to walk down this street just like any other citizen.

I marched on. As I approached, Savage took note, and as I passed he let fly with one of his stinging witticisms. I didn't even hear what he said. All I could hear was the cruel laughter of the crowd in the aftermath. It must have been really, really funny that they laughed so much.

To this day I regret my decision. I may have saved a few minutes but it has brought me a life time of angst. Just what did McSavage say? And how come he's had a series commissioned on RTE when they rejected my idea for a sitcom about a time travelling robot who investigates crimes that have already been solved? How come?!?

Long Onion · 24-11-2009 11:52AM

Lux23 wrote: »

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged .

S-sorry f-for your t-troubles, P-Pronsias.

Gang of Gin · 24-11-2009 11:54AM

Pighead wrote: »

You're a nasty nasty man Gang of Gin. Let Pighead ask you this. If trees could scream would you be so cavalier in cutting them down? That's a rhetorical question by the way. No need to answer it. Just because you can't see into Pighead's eyes it doesn't mean he doesn't have any.

You waltz around boards begging people to help you look for a pair of Paul Newman glasses and then in the very next breath you ridicule the very people who you are asking for help. Would you stab a surgeon whilst he was in the middle of trying to fix your brain? Course not. So why attack Pighead. A man who was willing to send you a pair of Paul Newman glasses for free. Well you can consider that offer withdrawn buddy and whatsmore Pighead hopes you never find them. he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses for the rest of your days. Mean people deserve mean glasses.

I'm sorry. A bit mean indeed. I hope that upturned tuft has rested on your your piggy head and you can get on with your day without feeling conscious about it.

Pighead · 24-11-2009 12:09PM

Gang of Gin wrote: »

I'm sorry. A bit mean indeed. I hope that upturned tuft has rested on your your piggy head and you can get on with your day without feeling conscious about it.

Ok that's better. Lets put this sorry episode behind us. Pighead's sorry for saying he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses. Friends forever.

token56 · 24-11-2009 12:36PM

Indeed I have been. On two occasions I decided to let my hair grow but unfortunately it turns into an uncontrolable mess of an afro. I was mocked, ridiculed and giving strange looks by people who passed by.

I was also unfortunate enough to have the picture for my student card taken when I had said afro, and had to suffer with that particular card for 3 long years. If anybody want a quick giggle they just asked me to look at it. Why I grew it back a second time I really dont know.

Pighead · 24-11-2009 12:46PM

token56 wrote: »

I was also unfortunate enough to have the picture for my student card taken when I had said afro, and had to suffer with that particular card for 3 long years. If anybody want a quick giggle they just asked me to look at it. Why I grew it back a second time I really dont know.

Pighead feels your pain token56. Got a picture taken years ago to put on the swipe badge needed to get into work. Was very hungover and the old hair was all over the place. Looked a bit like Jo Brand after she has been dragged through a ditch at speed.

Anyway, years passed by and eventually the picture faded. Happy happy days. Eventually the badge broke and Pighead sauntered down to the security room with one of the best hairstyles he has ever sported. "Alright mister, Pighead's ready for his photograph to be taken for his new badge"
" Ah you're grand Pighead, we don't take new photos. We just rescan your old one and put it back onto the badge." It's probably time to get a new job.

Nodin · 24-11-2009 12:58PM

Pighead has the roundy head and distended belly that marks an Irishman in his prime. This should be celebrated, not mocked.....

AnonoBoy · 24-11-2009 01:03PM

Buy a hat Piggie. As we all know, of all the even-toed ungulates Pigs are the only who can successfully pull off wearing a hat.

That's All Folks!

Terry · 24-11-2009 01:05PM

Pighead wrote: »

Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Can't say that I have.

Anyway, back when I was 16 and skinny, I was buying jocks in Dunnes or Pennies or somesuch place.
Having had a 26" waist back then, I had to buy the smaller sized ones.
So I'm standing in the queue with my small jocks and two girls are behind me pissing themselves laughing.

These days I buy XXXL, but my penis seems to have shrunk.

Have you ever been mocked because of your appearance?

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