Have you ever been mocked because of your appearance?

Pighead

Pighead is only out of bed about two hours yet already this is shaping up as one of the worst days of his life. Absolutely horrible day so far and Pighead knows exactly how those poor flood people must be feeling.

The day started off like all the others. Alarm Clock- Grumble- Stretch- Yawn- Grumble- Wee Wee- Grumble- Bathroom- Wash Face- Brush Teeth- Grumble. It was at this point things took a turn for the worse.

Looked in the mirror and whilst admiring the face looking back at him, Pighead suddenly realised something wasn't right. The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest. Tried smoothing it down with water but it just bounced straight back up again. Tried using wax and gel but this just made it look shiny and if anything solidified it. Disaster.

In times of disaster Miss Piggy is usually Pighead's first port of call and so into the bedroom he went. Told her about the bed hair and how it wouldn't go away and asked her how to fix it. Unfortunately she wasn't really too helpful and mainly just pointed and laughed whilst shrieking "Mr Majeika!"

Pighead's in work now and he knows that everybody is looking and probably pointing at his sticky up hair. It can only be a matter of time before somebody calls him jedward or worse still spunkhead. Every snigger feels like a dagger through the chest. Every laugh out loud like a slap in the face. Pighead's used to people staring at him but usually they're stares of wonderment thrown in with a bit of swooning. This was different. They were ridiculing him. Mocking his appearance. "This must be what it's like to be ginger, port stained or Brendan Kilkenny" thought Pighead. This is gonna be a long long day and it's going to take all of Pighead's renowned mental fortitude to get through it.

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance? Do you have any cures for bed hair? Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Long Onion

Pighead wrote: »

. Alarm Clock- Grumble- Stretch- Yawn- Grumble- Wee Wee- Grumble- Bathroom- Wash Face- Brush Teeth- Grumble.

Pighead pisses in his bed.

Kradock

Try having a shower

Pighead

Long Onion wrote: »

Pighead pisses in his bed.

Or maybe he sleeps on the toilet. That's the thing about sleeping. It's subjective.

LD 50

I thought Pighead never slept.

davyjose

Pighead wrote: »

Looked in the mirror and whilst admiring the face looking back at him, Pighead suddenly realised something wasn't right. The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest. Tried smoothing it down with water but it just bounced straight back up again. Tried using wax and gel but this just made it look shiny and if anything solidified it. Disaster.

Jedward?

Pighead

Kradock wrote: »

Try having a shower

Pighead does his showering at night time. Morning time is for grumbling and weeing. And if you are for one minute trying to suggest that Pighead is unhygienic you can bog right off sonny jim. This poster has impeccable smelling armpits/chest/groinal regions and you are quite welcome to sniff them to verify this.

SteeveSmith

I'm ginger.

Handsome Bob

Pighead wrote: »

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance?

I got a text message one New Year's Eve at midnight saying "Happy New Year Shrek". I thought it was some girl, turns out it was my mates. *****. :pac:

CreepingDeath

Pighead wrote: »

The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest.

Sounds like you were re-enacting a scene from "There's something about Mary".

Jenneke87

Yes. I experience quite often people staring at me openly in the streets and pointing at me. I still don't know why, but they do it. last time was a couple of weeks ago where a group of girls pointed at me and whispered:" Owh my god." i suppose there's a part of me that's weird looking that i haven't noticed yet after 22 years....

jenneke

Pighead

SteeveSmith wrote: »

I'm ginger.

Is it as bad as they say it is? Today, Pighead got a taste of what you probably go through every single day of your life and he sure as hell didn't like it. What's the cruelest thing anybody has said to you?

me_right_one

Yes

6th

Pighead wrote: »

So have you ever been mocked or taunted because of your appearance?

Yes. Damn player haters.

Pighead wrote: »

Do you have any cures for bed hair?

Yes. Shave your head.

Pighead wrote: »

Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Yes.

Kradock

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead does his showering at night time. Morning time is for grumbling and weeing. And if you are for one minute trying to suggest that Pighead is unhygienic you can bog right off sonny jim. This poster has impeccable smelling armpits/chest/groinal regions and you are quite welcome to sniff them to verify this.

So Pighead showers at night before he lays down in the sty with his sow and remains impeccably smelling in his sweaty regions. Fair enough.

Thanks for the offer of the sniff test but Kradock will have to decline and take Pighead at his grunt.

Gang of Gin

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

enda1

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

RIP

davyjose

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

Agreed. Pighead, you've brought AH into disrepute.

Pighead

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Seems like you were desperate to post anything today, no matter how inane. Must have taken you a few minutes to type it up too.

You're a nasty nasty man Gang of Gin. Let Pighead ask you this. If trees could scream would you be so cavalier in cutting them down? That's a rhetorical question by the way. No need to answer it. Just because you can't see into Pighead's eyes it doesn't mean he doesn't have any.

You waltz around boards begging people to help you look for a pair of Paul Newman glasses and then in the very next breath you ridicule the very people who you are asking for help. Would you stab a surgeon whilst he was in the middle of trying to fix your brain? Course not. So why attack Pighead. A man who was willing to send you a pair of Paul Newman glasses for free. Well you can consider that offer withdrawn buddy and whatsmore Pighead hopes you never find them. he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses for the rest of your days. Mean people deserve mean glasses.

Lux23

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged then but haven't since that I know of.

Pighead

Lux23 wrote: »

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged then but haven't since that I know of.

Reminds Pighead of the old saying "We used to laugh at Granddad when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town."

Hells Belle

Pighead I feel your pain, I came into work yesterday with my top on inside out, snigger my collegues did, tell me they did not, I didn't notice until 12.30, ba5tards!

Today I had no electricty when I woke up so I couldn't straighten my hair, my hair is two inches shorter and 2 foot wider, like a Suntot....

I'm not getting much piss taken though cause 3 of the lads came in in blue shirts and navy trousers and they all look like gardai, oh the doghnut/porcine jokes are flying all over the place, karma is an oul whore :pac:

Earthhorse

I'd like to tell you that the mockers get their comeuppance, I really would, but that's not the way the world works.

It was the late nighties, and the height of the sta-prest (stay pressed) trend started by the Levi's corporation. Yours truly had a pair of sta-prest jeans that kinda looked like flares, only cooler. Walking through Temple Bar I rounded the corner only to be greeted with the site of Dave McSavage and a crowd listening to his antics. For those who don't know his act, McSavage busks in the district, savagely mocking the appearance of passers by for the amusement of tourists. I paused. I thought, I should just head on to the next street rather than risk walking by him. Then, I reconsidered. I pay my taxes, I have a right to walk down this street just like any other citizen.

I marched on. As I approached, Savage took note, and as I passed he let fly with one of his stinging witticisms. I didn't even hear what he said. All I could hear was the cruel laughter of the crowd in the aftermath. It must have been really, really funny that they laughed so much.

To this day I regret my decision. I may have saved a few minutes but it has brought me a life time of angst. Just what did McSavage say? And how come he's had a series commissioned on RTE when they rejected my idea for a sitcom about a time travelling robot who investigates crimes that have already been solved? How come?!?

Long Onion

Lux23 wrote: »

When I was 9 I had a C Cup so I got slagged .

S-sorry f-for your t-troubles, P-Pronsias.

Gang of Gin

Pighead wrote: »

You're a nasty nasty man Gang of Gin. Let Pighead ask you this. If trees could scream would you be so cavalier in cutting them down? That's a rhetorical question by the way. No need to answer it. Just because you can't see into Pighead's eyes it doesn't mean he doesn't have any.

You waltz around boards begging people to help you look for a pair of Paul Newman glasses and then in the very next breath you ridicule the very people who you are asking for help. Would you stab a surgeon whilst he was in the middle of trying to fix your brain? Course not. So why attack Pighead. A man who was willing to send you a pair of Paul Newman glasses for free. Well you can consider that offer withdrawn buddy and whatsmore Pighead hopes you never find them. he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses for the rest of your days. Mean people deserve mean glasses.

I'm sorry. A bit mean indeed. I hope that upturned tuft has rested on your your piggy head and you can get on with your day without feeling conscious about it.

Pighead

Gang of Gin wrote: »

I'm sorry. A bit mean indeed. I hope that upturned tuft has rested on your your piggy head and you can get on with your day without feeling conscious about it.

Ok that's better. Lets put this sorry episode behind us. Pighead's sorry for saying he hopes you get stuck wearing Timmy Mallet glasses. Friends forever.

token56

Indeed I have been. On two occasions I decided to let my hair grow but unfortunately it turns into an uncontrolable mess of an afro. I was mocked, ridiculed and giving strange looks by people who passed by.

I was also unfortunate enough to have the picture for my student card taken when I had said afro, and had to suffer with that particular card for 3 long years. If anybody want a quick giggle they just asked me to look at it. Why I grew it back a second time I really dont know.

Pighead

token56 wrote: »

I was also unfortunate enough to have the picture for my student card taken when I had said afro, and had to suffer with that particular card for 3 long years. If anybody want a quick giggle they just asked me to look at it. Why I grew it back a second time I really dont know.

Pighead feels your pain token56. Got a picture taken years ago to put on the swipe badge needed to get into work. Was very hungover and the old hair was all over the place. Looked a bit like Jo Brand after she has been dragged through a ditch at speed.

Anyway, years passed by and eventually the picture faded. Happy happy days. Eventually the badge broke and Pighead sauntered down to the security room with one of the best hairstyles he has ever sported. "Alright mister, Pighead's ready for his photograph to be taken for his new badge"
" Ah you're grand Pighead, we don't take new photos. We just rescan your old one and put it back onto the badge." It's probably time to get a new job.

Nodin

Pighead has the roundy head and distended belly that marks an Irishman in his prime. This should be celebrated, not mocked.....

AnonoBoy

Buy a hat Piggie. As we all know, of all the even-toed ungulates Pigs are the only who can successfully pull off wearing a hat.

That's All Folks!

Terry

Pighead wrote: »

Have you ever heard of this Majeika character?

Can't say that I have.

Anyway, back when I was 16 and skinny, I was buying jocks in Dunnes or Pennies or somesuch place.
Having had a 26" waist back then, I had to buy the smaller sized ones.
So I'm standing in the queue with my small jocks and two girls are behind me pissing themselves laughing.

These days I buy XXXL, but my penis seems to have shrunk.

RxQueen

i resent the ginger statement in your OP.. *sob*

RMD

Being a teenager, it happens on a daily basis. Bedhead is simple to sort out, shower and brush any persistant parts down while drying. Worse case scenario, I'm sure the missus has a straightner you could use on that one area so it doesn't look straightened.

Joey the lips

Its just the type of stupid plannet we live on. How many people do you imagine slag this chap before they realise how his theorys have explained there very being.

Stupid world!

Pighead

emo!! wrote: »

i resent the ginger statement in your OP.. *sob*

Fear not emo. Pighead was only referring to male gingers. Female gingers are grand.

Anono Boy, would you believe that there is not one hat to be found in Chez Pighead? Not one. The closest Pighead came to finding one was a shower cap but he was worried, wearing it probably wouldn't prevent the braying mob from mocking and may have in fact made it worse.

Jay P

Pighead, should you not be working? Maybe they're laughing because you're spending all your valuable working time on Boards.ie....

When I was a young'un, my noggin was a bit larger than normal, apparently. So that didn't go down too well in the school yard...

Pighead

Jay P wrote: »

When I was a young'un, my noggin was a bit larger than normal, apparently. So that didn't go down too well in the school yard...

That's terrible Jay P and the fact that the bullies probably called you watermelon head makes it even worse.

Jay P

Pighead wrote: »

That's terrible Jay P and the fact that the bullies probably called you watermelon head makes it even worse.

You really know how to cut to the heart of me....

I wear glasses now, and when I first got them, they tried to insult me, but I knew I looked good so they never got to me.

AnonoBoy

Pighead wrote: »

Anono Boy, would you believe that there is not one hat to be found in Chez Pighead? Not one. The closest Pighead came to finding one was a shower cap but he was worried, wearing it probably wouldn't prevent the braying mob from mocking and may have in fact made it worse.

That is indeed a shame Pighead. Perhaps Miss Piggy could purchase you one in the upcoming holiday season.

Some beaux chapeaux:

Suggestion the first

Suggestion the second

Personally I think number two is for you but you might need to grow an outstanding beard as shown to go with it.

Pighead

Jay P wrote: »

You really know how to cut to the heart of me....

I wear glasses now, and when I first got them, they tried to insult me, but I knew I looked good so they never got to me.

Good man Jay P. Never let the bastards grind you down. Ignore their cruel nicknames and bestow upon yourself a brand new cool nickname that will make you feel good about yourself and eventually lead to people looking up to and respecting you.

Be careful when choosing it though. Back in primary school Pighead called himself "Vaginahead". Normally you would think that "Vaginahead" would mean the person was warm and welcoming and had beautiful moistened features but those twisted sickos at Pigheads school somehow turned it into an insult by saying it meant he "had a head like a vagina".

panda100

Mr Majeka, god thats a blast from the past
It was a kids tv show when I was growing up in England, maybe you didnt have it over here?
He was some sort of Wizard and evertime he wanted to put a spell on someone the little tuft of standing up hair on the top of his wiggled.

opinion guy

Joey the lips wrote: »

Its just the type of stupid plannet we live on. How many people do you imagine slag this chap before they realise how his theorys have explained there very being.

Stupid world!

Um for sure the guy is a genius, but the bit in bold is to give him a bit too much credit methinks.

mahamageehad

SteeveSmith wrote: »

I'm ginger.

Unlucky!!!

Daroxtar

Joey the lips wrote: »

Its just the type of stupid plannet we live on. How many people do you imagine slag this chap before they realise how his theorys have explained there very being.

Stupid world!

Bollocks. Its his computer that comes up with the theories. The computer is the real genius. Wait till he dies, it'll all come out.

DazMarz

In a nightclub one time, wearing far too tight white jeans (what was I thinking???), and I do mean seriously tight, almost cutting off blood-flow things... Girls were not as impressed as I thought they'd be. The Saturday Night Fever-look was not pulled off successfully... More like the ''I can now tell your religion''-look...:o

Jako8

Pighead wrote: »

Looked in the mirror and whilst admiring the face looking back at him, Pighead suddenly realised something wasn't right. The hair at the top was standing up almost a foot higher than the rest. Tried smoothing it down with water but it just bounced straight back up again. Tried using wax and gel but this just made it look shiny and if anything solidified it. Disaster.

Alfalfa?

Seonad

I was jeered for being tall:(

AnonoBoy

Seonad wrote: »

I was jeered for being tall:(

Now that you mention it - what's the weather like up there?






Oh I'm just jealous. :mad:

Daroxtar

One night out i caught a fair maidens eye. She smiled at me, i smiled back she smiled back again, i thought fukkit, i'll give this a try, walked over towards her and she smiled again, looked at my t-shirt and said "Pennys" before she walked off still smiling.

Joey the lips

opinion guy wrote: »

Um for sure the guy is a genius, but the bit in bold is to give him a bit too much credit methinks.

"a brief history of time"

dsmythy

Never my appearance but kids seem to take great pleasure in mentioning that i wear glasses and this fact is somehow meant to be soul destroying for me.

SteeveSmith wrote: »

I'm ginger.

Nuff said.