Best quote

My motto

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after!

Dunno who said it - but i like him!

see my sig lol

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

"There are only two guaranteed inevitabilities in life, debt and death" - Judge Judy.

Do we have a quotes thread every 2 weeks or something?

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti"- Anthony Hopkins Silence of the Lambs

"I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut" -Sonny Chiba (Hattori Hanzo Kill Bill volume 1.

"I couldn't help it. I can resist everything except temptation."-Oscar Wilde

"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."-Stephen Hawking


Hydarnes: (An emissary of Xerxes)-"Yesterday,we only probed your positions.When we attack today,our arrows will block out the sun!

Leonidas- "Good,then we will fight in the shade"
-From the film 300.

Harry: "One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu."
Mary: "Really? "
Harry: "Yeah, we called it a bull****." -Dumb and Dumber

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
- Wernher von Braun

Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other." - Benjamin Franklin

Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
Frank Zappa


Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
Fred Rogers


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
Johann Sebastian Bach


A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
Gore Vidal


Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
Al Gore , U.S. Vice President


Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)



Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)



The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Voltaire (1694-1778) , on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) , on Shakespeare

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year.
Dixy Lee Ray


The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
Anonymous


'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'
~ Henny Youngman

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx


Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield


My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield


My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield