im a walking disaster

useful_contacts · 02-11-2009 03:03AM #1

So we are all thick in our own way- last night i slapped into a wall (no drink involved) seriously! Just was not paying attention, i was chatting had to pee, so i turned around and WACK!!!!!!

Whats your most embarassing SOBER accident ?

(peeing yourself not included)

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 03:05AM

Dropped bucket of paint onto carpet

ColaBeDamned · 02-11-2009 03:07AM

I seem to have the habit of falling up stairs

CliffHuxtabel · 02-11-2009 03:08AM

one time after I burnt the dinner I walked into a door.....:o so embarassing

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 03:11AM

CliffHuxtabel wrote: »

one time after I burnt the dinner I walked into a door.....:o so embarassing

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady .. looked around for sauce and couldn't find it so jumped up in huff to the kitchen to get it. Then walked back in and (as I was looking at which side of the chair I put my dinner) slowly sat on it :rolleyes:

minidazzler · 02-11-2009 03:13AM

Came within inches of dying when I just barely stopped on time to stop myself being creamed by a van.

electrogrimey · 02-11-2009 03:14AM

During the summer while looking in a shop window I tried to look around something inside the shop, as in leaning my head in and around, smacked my head off the glass and nearly fell over.

Pygmalion · 02-11-2009 03:14AM

I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination.

Once in the middle of Connolly Station I bought a bag of crisps, tooks a few out, brought them almost to my mouth and let go, just dropping them all about an inch in front of me, everyone stared. Even worse when it happens with drinks (pouring it all down your front because you tip it too early) but I don't think that's ever happened in public (bar in school with a few friends)
Also walking into people/things all the time.

Overheal · 02-11-2009 03:16AM

i tried cooking a steak but after 20 minutes nothing was happining so i went and used my hand to check if the burner was on. Apparently, wrong one, and holding onto half frozen cider cans only draws out the pain of 2nd degree burns.

opinion guy · 02-11-2009 03:17AM

ColaBeDamned wrote: »

I seem to have the habit of falling up stairs

i've done that. its bloody funny thou

useful_contacts · 02-11-2009 03:18AM

Pygmalion wrote: »

I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination.

Once in the middle of Connolly Station I bought a bag of crisps, tooks a few out, brought them almost to my mouth and let go, just dropping them all about an inch in front of me, everyone stared. Even worse when it happens with drinks (pouring it all down your front because you tip it too early) but I don't think that's ever happened in public (bar in school with a few friends)
Also walking into people/things all the time.

ahhhhhhhhhhh that happens me a lot- and i always yell "for ****s sake" without meaning to and everyone looks- i just draw attention to myself yelling it out- but its a reflix:(

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 03:19AM

minidazzler wrote: »

Came within inches of dying when I just barely stopped on time to stop myself being creamed by a van.

Oh jesus that happened me too. On Nassau St I just stepped out into the road and for some reason glanced over my shoulder to this gigantic wing mirror of a coach inches from my head.

I just ducked and still cut my scalp. Eveyone at the bustops there gave an audiable gasp. Should have been killed really .. damn earphones :mad:

CliffHuxtabel · 02-11-2009 03:19AM

useful_contacts wrote: »

ahhhhhhhhhhh that happens me a lot- and i always yell "for ****s sake" without meaning to and everyone looks- i just draw attention to myself yelling it out- but its a reflix:(

sounds like you have a drinking problem
hahaha

davyjose · 02-11-2009 03:27AM

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady ... that's it.

useful_contacts · 02-11-2009 03:30AM

CliffHuxtabel wrote: »

sounds like you have a drinking problem
hahaha

oh be nice

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 03:30AM

Another thing is buses. Nearly everytime I use Dublin Bus I make a tit of myself. The driver's are w**kers for hitting the breaks at the maddest of times.

Few months back I was sitting downstairs ay the back and stood up and leaned out to press the bell and for some reason, never to be known, bus driver hits the breaks and I go arse over tit across this chicks lap and go headfirst down onto the floor between the seats. On the way I grab her shopping for leverage and so it too goes with me.

I literally kissed the floor while trying to say 'No, no I'm fine, honest .. yeah, grand, no .. yeah .. I'm sure, not at all, I'll be okay".

Inside I am dying of course and I'm there acting like I planned the whole thing. I walk towards the bus driver who is O--fu**king--blivious to anything that happened. I was just about to eat the head off him but instead just said the usual .. 'eh thanks' and got off

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 03:33AM

davyjose wrote: »

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady ... that's it.

Only once?

watna · 02-11-2009 03:34AM

I'm currently home off work lying in bed because I damaged my ribs on Saturday night. They're not cracked but I pulled the muscles around one rib and had to get it all realigned. I currently can't move without getting muscle spasms.

The worst thing is I have no idea how I did it. I was fairly merry on sat night (i.e. hammered) but according to my sources, I didn't fall. What makes that worse is that if I did fall or could remember how I did it then my chiropractic treatment would be covered by the government's accident insurance. Unfortunately you can't submit a claim and fill in the part about the accident with "I don't remember, I was extremely inebriated"

I may have done it sober, i.e. picked up something heavy and not noticed or twisted myself around in me sleep but I guess we'll never know and after seeing the state of me on sat night everyone is inclined to blame the drink.

I'm a walking disaster too

ham_n_mustard · 02-11-2009 03:37AM

i walked into the side of the 2fm roadcaster in nenagh years ago. in my defence i was carrying boxes of frozen chips and couldnt see. still its a big ould yolk to miss.....

pebbles21 · 02-11-2009 03:42AM

I just finished a workout in the gym and couldnt remember what locker my bag was in,i searched and searched going through every locker till i eventually found it

Pulled out my bag upside down then everything fell out of it all the floor!

Then if that wasnt bad enough im getting dressed and just about put my shoes on when this big muscle head with a skin head says to me in his finest slovakian accent "excuse me those socks you have on ??they mine"

I took em off and apologised profusely

:o

useful_contacts · 02-11-2009 03:48AM

pebbles21 wrote: »

"excuse me those socks you have on ??they mine"

I took em off and we kissed and eventually made love on the floor... it was magical :o

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yea!!!!!!!!:p

ColaBeDamned · 02-11-2009 03:58AM

opinion guy wrote: »

i've done that. its bloody funny thou

Falling up is funny cos it doesn't hurt as much. Sadly I also have the habit of falling down stairs too, or missing a step.

The worst was as a child, when I fell down our stairs at home from the very top to the bottom, arse over elbow all the way down. We were getting new carpets at the time, so I was rolling over the tack strips too. Those spikey things -

http://www.halexcorp.com/carpet_tack_strip.gif

It was only my hands and feet that were punctured... still have the marks! I remember standing at the bottom, crying more out of fright than pain cos the blood was dripping off me

artanevilla · 02-11-2009 05:16AM

Nico22 wrote: »

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady .. looked around for sauce and couldn't find it so jumped up in huff to the kitchen to get it. Then walked back in and (as I was looking at which side of the chair I put my dinner) slowly sat on it :rolleyes:

Jeepers that is embarrassing!

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 07:04AM

artanevilla wrote: »

Jeepers that is embarrassing!

Not in the least. Quite like Paul O'Grady actually ..

However, to be openingly using the word "Jeepers" - now that's embarrassing.

ToTheSea: · 02-11-2009 07:44AM

My "friend" once thought foreskin was the skin on their forehead. And one day said to his mother. " look how wrinkly I can make my foreskin!" while she had her back turned making the dinner.

The was an astonishing flash of horror in her face as she turned around. - I "heard".

Hephaestus · 02-11-2009 07:53AM

I once walked full blast into a signpost while walking to the cinema with a girl.

I was counting some coins in my hand @ the time & got distracted.

My head hitting the post made such a load noise that people walking about 50m in front of us heard it & turned around to have a look

ToTheSea: · 02-11-2009 07:58AM

All these replies about walking in to things could be combined to create some sort of chuckle brothers episode.

To me. To you. Oh chuckle brothers, what a mischieves pair.:rolleyes:

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 08:13AM

Hephaestus wrote: »

.. people walking about 50m in front of us heard it & turned around to have a look

Well at least there wasn't as many watching you as there was watching this this clown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQFQEJ9K77I

Kradock · 02-11-2009 09:40AM

I twice walked into the wing of an Airplane and on both occasions split myself above the left eye.

OutlawPete · 02-11-2009 09:51AM

Kradock wrote: »

I twice walked into the wing of an Airplane and on both occasions split myself above the left eye.

Dear god, how'd that happen?

My Dad worked in Aer Lingus for years and had a few scrapes but they were mainly with wheels of planes. Once he actually reversed a mini baggae carrying train-van into part of the belly hole

geeky · 02-11-2009 10:27AM

Not all that dramatic or entertaining - I was running for a bus after visiting my dad in Vincent's hospital (had a meeting that afternoon and was running late). I hit a bollard in full gallop with my knee and pitched forward, breaking my fall with my arm. suffice to say that, when I regained my senses, my arm was lying in a way that arms should never lie.
I started screaming bloody murder for help (I couldn't feel a thing) and, thankfully, an off-duty nurse fashioned a sling with my scarf and led me to A&E. I was unbelievably lucky - I'd basically broken the bone clean in two, very near the nerve. According to the doc, if I'd moved it around much (say I'd been a good bit away from the hospital) I'd have risked paralysis. Given that I'm a journalist, losing the use of my writing hand in such a spectacularly stupid way would have been a bit unfortunate.

im a walking disaster

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