im a walking disaster

useful_contacts

So we are all thick in our own way- last night i slapped into a wall (no drink involved) seriously! Just was not paying attention, i was chatting had to pee, so i turned around and WACK!!!!!!

Whats your most embarassing SOBER accident ?

(peeing yourself not included)

OutlawPete

Dropped bucket of paint onto carpet

ColaBeDamned

I seem to have the habit of falling up stairs

CliffHuxtabel

one time after I burnt the dinner I walked into a door.....:o so embarassing

OutlawPete

CliffHuxtabel wrote: »

one time after I burnt the dinner I walked into a door.....:o so embarassing

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady .. looked around for sauce and couldn't find it so jumped up in huff to the kitchen to get it. Then walked back in and (as I was looking at which side of the chair I put my dinner) slowly sat on it :rolleyes:

minidazzler

Came within inches of dying when I just barely stopped on time to stop myself being creamed by a van.

electrogrimey

During the summer while looking in a shop window I tried to look around something inside the shop, as in leaning my head in and around, smacked my head off the glass and nearly fell over.

Pygmalion

I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination.

Once in the middle of Connolly Station I bought a bag of crisps, tooks a few out, brought them almost to my mouth and let go, just dropping them all about an inch in front of me, everyone stared. Even worse when it happens with drinks (pouring it all down your front because you tip it too early) but I don't think that's ever happened in public (bar in school with a few friends)
Also walking into people/things all the time.

Overheal

i tried cooking a steak but after 20 minutes nothing was happining so i went and used my hand to check if the burner was on. Apparently, wrong one, and holding onto half frozen cider cans only draws out the pain of 2nd degree burns.

opinion guy

ColaBeDamned wrote: »

I seem to have the habit of falling up stairs

i've done that. its bloody funny thou

useful_contacts

Pygmalion wrote: »

I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination.

Once in the middle of Connolly Station I bought a bag of crisps, tooks a few out, brought them almost to my mouth and let go, just dropping them all about an inch in front of me, everyone stared. Even worse when it happens with drinks (pouring it all down your front because you tip it too early) but I don't think that's ever happened in public (bar in school with a few friends)
Also walking into people/things all the time.

ahhhhhhhhhhh that happens me a lot- and i always yell "for ****s sake" without meaning to and everyone looks- i just draw attention to myself yelling it out- but its a reflix:(

OutlawPete

minidazzler wrote: »

Came within inches of dying when I just barely stopped on time to stop myself being creamed by a van.

Oh jesus that happened me too. On Nassau St I just stepped out into the road and for some reason glanced over my shoulder to this gigantic wing mirror of a coach inches from my head.

I just ducked and still cut my scalp. Eveyone at the bustops there gave an audiable gasp. Should have been killed really .. damn earphones :mad:

CliffHuxtabel

useful_contacts wrote: »

ahhhhhhhhhhh that happens me a lot- and i always yell "for ****s sake" without meaning to and everyone looks- i just draw attention to myself yelling it out- but its a reflix:(

sounds like you have a drinking problem
hahaha

davyjose

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady ... that's it.

useful_contacts

CliffHuxtabel wrote: »

sounds like you have a drinking problem
hahaha

oh be nice

OutlawPete

Another thing is buses. Nearly everytime I use Dublin Bus I make a tit of myself. The driver's are w**kers for hitting the breaks at the maddest of times.

Few months back I was sitting downstairs ay the back and stood up and leaned out to press the bell and for some reason, never to be known, bus driver hits the breaks and I go arse over tit across this chicks lap and go headfirst down onto the floor between the seats. On the way I grab her shopping for leverage and so it too goes with me.

I literally kissed the floor while trying to say 'No, no I'm fine, honest .. yeah, grand, no .. yeah .. I'm sure, not at all, I'll be okay".

Inside I am dying of course and I'm there acting like I planned the whole thing. I walk towards the bus driver who is O--fu**king--blivious to anything that happened. I was just about to eat the head off him but instead just said the usual .. 'eh thanks' and got off

OutlawPete

davyjose wrote: »

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady ... that's it.

Only once?

watna

I'm currently home off work lying in bed because I damaged my ribs on Saturday night. They're not cracked but I pulled the muscles around one rib and had to get it all realigned. I currently can't move without getting muscle spasms.

The worst thing is I have no idea how I did it. I was fairly merry on sat night (i.e. hammered) but according to my sources, I didn't fall. What makes that worse is that if I did fall or could remember how I did it then my chiropractic treatment would be covered by the government's accident insurance. Unfortunately you can't submit a claim and fill in the part about the accident with "I don't remember, I was extremely inebriated" I may have done it sober, i.e. picked up something heavy and not noticed or twisted myself around in me sleep but I guess we'll never know and after seeing the state of me on sat night everyone is inclined to blame the drink.

I'm a walking disaster too

ham_n_mustard

i walked into the side of the 2fm roadcaster in nenagh years ago. in my defence i was carrying boxes of frozen chips and couldnt see. still its a big ould yolk to miss.....

pebbles21

I just finished a workout in the gym and couldnt remember what locker my bag was in,i searched and searched going through every locker till i eventually found it

Pulled out my bag upside down then everything fell out of it all the floor!

Then if that wasnt bad enough im getting dressed and just about put my shoes on when this big muscle head with a skin head says to me in his finest slovakian accent "excuse me those socks you have on ??they mine"

I took em off and apologised profusely :o

useful_contacts

pebbles21 wrote: »

"excuse me those socks you have on ??they mine"

I took em off and we kissed and eventually made love on the floor... it was magical :o

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yea!!!!!!!!:p

ColaBeDamned

opinion guy wrote: »

i've done that. its bloody funny thou

Falling up is funny cos it doesn't hurt as much. Sadly I also have the habit of falling down stairs too, or missing a step.

The worst was as a child, when I fell down our stairs at home from the very top to the bottom, arse over elbow all the way down. We were getting new carpets at the time, so I was rolling over the tack strips too. Those spikey things -

http://www.halexcorp.com/carpet_tack_strip.gif

It was only my hands and feet that were punctured... still have the marks! I remember standing at the bottom, crying more out of fright than pain cos the blood was dripping off me

artanevilla

Nico22 wrote: »

I once made dinner, sat down to watch Paul O'Grady .. looked around for sauce and couldn't find it so jumped up in huff to the kitchen to get it. Then walked back in and (as I was looking at which side of the chair I put my dinner) slowly sat on it :rolleyes:

Jeepers that is embarrassing!

OutlawPete

artanevilla wrote: »

Jeepers that is embarrassing!

Not in the least. Quite like Paul O'Grady actually ..

However, to be openingly using the word "Jeepers" - now that's embarrassing.

ToTheSea:

My "friend" once thought foreskin was the skin on their forehead. And one day said to his mother. " look how wrinkly I can make my foreskin!" while she had her back turned making the dinner.

The was an astonishing flash of horror in her face as she turned around. - I "heard".

Hephaestus

I once walked full blast into a signpost while walking to the cinema with a girl.

I was counting some coins in my hand @ the time & got distracted.

My head hitting the post made such a load noise that people walking about 50m in front of us heard it & turned around to have a look

ToTheSea:

All these replies about walking in to things could be combined to create some sort of chuckle brothers episode.

To me. To you. Oh chuckle brothers, what a mischieves pair.:rolleyes:

OutlawPete

Hephaestus wrote: »

.. people walking about 50m in front of us heard it & turned around to have a look

Well at least there wasn't as many watching you as there was watching this this clown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQFQEJ9K77I

Kradock

I twice walked into the wing of an Airplane and on both occasions split myself above the left eye.

OutlawPete

Kradock wrote: »

I twice walked into the wing of an Airplane and on both occasions split myself above the left eye.

Dear god, how'd that happen?

My Dad worked in Aer Lingus for years and had a few scrapes but they were mainly with wheels of planes. Once he actually reversed a mini baggae carrying train-van into part of the belly hole

geeky

Not all that dramatic or entertaining - I was running for a bus after visiting my dad in Vincent's hospital (had a meeting that afternoon and was running late). I hit a bollard in full gallop with my knee and pitched forward, breaking my fall with my arm. suffice to say that, when I regained my senses, my arm was lying in a way that arms should never lie.
I started screaming bloody murder for help (I couldn't feel a thing) and, thankfully, an off-duty nurse fashioned a sling with my scarf and led me to A&E. I was unbelievably lucky - I'd basically broken the bone clean in two, very near the nerve. According to the doc, if I'd moved it around much (say I'd been a good bit away from the hospital) I'd have risked paralysis. Given that I'm a journalist, losing the use of my writing hand in such a spectacularly stupid way would have been a bit unfortunate.

happyfriday

I tend to sometimes just fall over, for no reason whatsoever I just fall. This happened once in a lift with two other people, the lift was going down and I was thinking about what to get for lunch and next minute wham. In a heap on the ground with two strangers looking at me like I was loopers. Had to pick myself up give the embarrassed smile and wait another couple of seconds for the lift to get to the ground floor. I felt like crying!!

AnonoBoy

Can a whole year count as an incident?

...... 2006 for me then.

OutlawPete

happyfriday wrote: »

I tend to sometimes just fall over, for no reason whatsoever I just fall. This happened once in a lift with two other people, the lift was going down and I was thinking about what to get for lunch and next minute wham. In a heap on the ground with two strangers looking at me like I was loopers. Had to pick myself up give the embarrassed smile and wait another couple of seconds for the lift to get to the ground floor. I felt like crying!!

Have you seen a neurologist or anything? Not too panic you or anything but no harm if you can afford it ..

DublinWriter

useful_contacts wrote: »

Whats your most embarassing SOBER accident ?

I once went arse-over-tit in a Lidl on a wet floor and came down hard on my shoulder.

Cue much effing-and-blinding as I writhed around in pain while young mothers covered the ears of their children.

ToniTuddle

Pygmalion wrote: »

I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination.

Even worse when it happens with drinks (pouring it all down your front because you tip it too early)

Yup that happens me all the time with the drinks fairly annoying.

Last week it was raining me and my mates were walking along chatting and I couldn't see right with my hood up and happened to bump into what I thought was someone....so I turned around and said "oh sorry" to a POLE!:oMy mates took great joy in taking the piss near every pole after that

It was funny though:D

Plus I always stumble in front of the people I really don't want to stumble in front of >.<

K-Ren

I was putting some essays for university together and I stapled my own thumb.

Fago!

I got knocked down by a parked car. (I walked into it and fell down)

Had college work to do. Laptop was broke so I went to the library to use a computer. Dead silence. I let out THE BIGGEST fart. 10 seconds of silence. Bloke next to me bursts into laughter. Bloke next to him, then the woman next to him. I then burst into laughter and had to leave.:o

ToTheSea: wrote: »

My "friend" once thought foreskin was the skin on their forehead. And one day said to his mother. " look how wrinkly I can make my foreskin!" while she had her back turned making the dinner.

The was an astonishing flash of horror in her face as she turned around. - I "heard".

Just now when I read this I broke out laughing in the middle of class (I was supposed to be doing work but was on boards) Teacher thought I was having a coughing fit.

krudler

Walking home the other night, was looking at my phone checking the time, saw out of my peripheral vision someone was in front of me, sidestepped them, straight into a signpost, still have the bruise on my head i really hit it hard too as the post made a loud clang and waddled a bit, mortified

dubtom

I have many. I went into a trinket shop in town one christmas,it sold all types of candle holders and glass stuff,all displayed on tables around the shop. With the christmas rush the place was a bit tight to get around, anyway, I picked up a piece to ask the price and dropped it, it smashed. The assitant assured me it was ok,I continued to browse and banged into a table,several pieces broke when they hit each other,at this stage the manager came over and asked me to leave. I was mortified,but relieved if I'm honest that they didn't insist I pay for the damage,it would have wiped me out.
On another occasion in a lift I was stood at the door like a plank waiting for it to open,not realising it had a door on the other side. So a crowd had gathered behind me at the open door looking at me hitting the button and cursing.The sound of laughter made me turn around

Codofwar

dubtom wrote: »

I have many. I went into a trinket shop in town one christmas,it sold all types of candle holders and glass stuff,all displayed on tables around the shop. With the christmas rush the place was a bit tight to get around, anyway, I picked up a piece to ask the price and dropped it, it smashed. The assitant assured me it was ok,I continued to browse and banged into a table,several pieces broke when they hit each other,at this stage the manager came over and asked me to leave. I was mortified,but relieved if I'm honest that they didn't insist I pay for the damage,it would have wiped me out.
On another occasion in a lift I was stood at the door like a plank waiting for it to open,not realising it had a door on the other side. So a crowd had gathered behind me at the open door looking at me hitting the button and cursing.The sound of laughter made me turn around

I havn't laughed as hard in ages after reading this. Brilliant

OutlawPete

I have two shop ones I remember now. Ohh, the shame.

Few years back I went round to a mates house who was getting ready for the night out. He was in the bath still and so I was just sitting chatting with his sister and two of her friends.

Now you all think I'm a plank but she asked me to go the shop and get some stuff. She wrote down a bunch of stuff and on the bottom was 'Mint Lilets'.

So I buy all the stuff on the list and two things left a Double Decker bar and the 'Mint Lilets'. So I am standing there staring at the sweets, Menthos, Fruit Pasteles etc but no 'Mint Lilets' there (obvious why now ) but at the time no clue.

So the girl behind the counter asks me what I am looking for and I proudly announce "Mint Lilets". They sort of snigger but I just thought it was from another reason. She says "We have ordinary Lilets" and I'm like "Yeah, any flavour will do".

So she goes and gets them and when she handed them to me I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I had no clue whatsoever. No sisters in my house

happyfriday

Nico22 wrote: »

Have you seen a neurologist or anything? Not too panic you or anything but no harm if you can afford it ..

Ah thanks!! Concern in AH I feel all warm and fuzzy!!

No think I'm just a klutz TBH had a MRI and stuff a few years ago and it just seems to be that I can get very clumsy when I am tired and that's when I tend to fall over. Something to do with sleep patterns and microsleep or something. Hasn't happened in ages but still not allowed to drive.

Loopy

One day my OH was carrying the baby from the kitchen to Living room and got a dodgy whiff enroute. Just as he was walking through the door he lifts baby right up over his head to smell the nappy and Wham nearly knocks the poor kid out!!

Victor

Nico22 wrote: »

Dear god, how'd that happen?

My Dad worked in Aer Lingus for years and had a few scrapes but they were mainly with wheels of planes. Once he actually reversed a mini baggae carrying train-van into part of the belly hole

You mean the belly hold? the hole is what he made in the belly hold.

Victor

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Last week it was raining me and my mates were walking along chatting and I couldn't see right with my hood up and happened to bump into what I thought was someone....so I turned around and said "oh sorry" to a POLE!:

I did that - during daylight hours. But who expects a pole halfway across the footpath?

jenny2hat

I remember once, walking down O Connell Street and it was really crowded with damn students and I failed to see the little bollards outside the GPO.
Nest thing I know, I fall onto an old woman and she starts roaring her head off at me that I nearly pushed her over. She did stop me from going on my ass though

When i was 15-16, I used to work in a supermarket.. One really hot day I got an icecream round 5pm when i finished. Bump into 3 girls i only knew for a few weeks outside the shop and was chattin to them. Really liked all of them..
Anyways, within two minutes of buying the thing, the whole icecream slides of the cone.. Gut reaction is to catch it.
SPLAT.
The whole icecream is over my shirt and face. Then I get into a fit of nervous laughter before walking back inside to get tissue of one of the girls from behind the tills.

Still cringe at it. Thankfully don't still hear about it.

Saibh

ColaBeDamned wrote: »

I seem to have the habit of falling up stairs

ColaBeDamned wrote: »

Falling up is funny cos it doesn't hurt as much. Sadly I also have the habit of falling down stairs too, or missing a step.

Fell going up the stairs one morning at work and it was sore for me - my poor knee.:o

Got the rest of the day off work though

Midnight_EG

Talking to a mate one day when he decides to bring a bottle of coke up to his mouth, I asked him a question as he was drinking it. What does he do?

Tries to answer while drinking, queue all of the contents of his mouth spilling out quite blobbily, him looking like a right spa.



Or one of mine, just got off the bus, walking down to a mates, assumed the road down was totally straight from what I remembered, proceeded to walk with my hood up and my head down reading a text, SPLAT into a wall :rolleyes:

sky88

i remember once walking back to collage we were all talking wasnt paying attention and walked into a lamppost it hurt like hell after that very dozy moment for me