Fun Ways of getting even with people

Dun laoire · 18-09-2009 11:06PM

star.chaser wrote: »

Have a person on my floor in work that seems to enjoy piising people off.
Got her work email address from the address book and signed her up to a few email newsletter subscription lists. Currently, shes receiving as few hundred emails a week (which aren't picked up by the spam filter!) and i plan to increase this over the next few weeks until she has to get IT to give her a new email. Then, i'll start again!
Anyone else have any good ways of getting even with arsehoole coleagues?

I'll give you a good one.

Go to the jacks and take a big giant sh1te. Make sure you hit the sides and everything AKA handbrakers. Just before you go to wipe your hole take a picture of it with your phone. Save it. Now you have a lovely picture of a big sh1te in a toilet bowl ready for dispatch. Go to your bluetooth details. Change the name of your phone to yer ones name. Example "Emily Murphy" then send the photo to as many phones as possible as quick as possible. So they will get a bluetooth message saying "Accept bluetooth image from Emily Murphy" change your bluetooth name back to it's original. Everyone thinks Emily is a dirty skank.

Job oxo

curry-muff · 18-09-2009 11:50PM

Gang Rape

9 outa 10 enjoy it anyway

LOTTOWINNER · 19-09-2009 01:09AM

partyguinness wrote: »

Steal their passport.

I used to leave with this Aussie and he was the biggest gob****e I ever met. I had to move out because of him.

I knew he was travelling back to Aus for a few weeks and basically leaving the day after I moved out.

So in one last act of revenge I swiped his passport from his bedside locker and burnt it...:D

I never saw the guy again so no idea how that went for him...

It was either that or **** in his bed.

I do get the occassional pangs of guilt for stooping to his level but it never lasts long.

RESPECT!

Edsgravy0 · 19-09-2009 03:55AM

This will require entry to the offender's house

1. Go to the bathroom. Preferably done at a party, where you don't have to excuse yourself. This is a covert op.

2. Lock bathroom door to avoid being rumbled by unsuspecting civilians

3. Take a shít, but not in the toilet bowl - do it in the cistern, into the big pool of water. You may even experience the displeasure of having it go straight into the water - or perhaps you'd like to do it with your behind underwater? Use your own discretion.

4. Replace cistern lid. Do not flush.

5. Every unsuspecting flush will dissolve a slight bit of your stool. Brown water begins to emerge after each flush. The smell will be horrendous, no doubt. A messed up toilet being the result.

Anonymous, cost effective, and devious. This one's got legs.

Nicknames include the 'slam dumper' and 'topdecking'

docmol · 19-09-2009 04:04AM

krudler wrote: »

When she's away from her desk, rightclick on her desktop, make a new folder called PORN!, then hit print screen, delete the folder, go into paint, import the printed screen and make it her desktop background, watch as she frantically tries to delete the non existant folder

After that rename "desktop.cpl" to "desktop.old" or whatever you like...
The office techie won't fix that in a hurry!

Helix · 19-09-2009 05:56AM

carve out their spleen

katiemaloe · 19-09-2009 06:09AM

Longboard wrote: »

Had this done to my car on the last day of work (see pic attached).
Got the guy back by putting posters of naked guys on the passanger side of his car. Not nice if you use the fast lane of the M50 in rush hour.

Ha ha.... we did this to a lads van in my last job. Pallet wrapped the whole thing! He got me back by putting a small mackeral under my window wiper. Nice!

Rabies · 19-09-2009 06:26AM

tell them to join up to boards and we'll ban them from every forum... slowly.

blinding · 19-09-2009 07:45AM

It seems to upset some people if you sleep with their boyfriend/girlfriend or even better wife/husband.

Jet Black · 19-09-2009 07:49AM

I worked as a fork-lift driver for a while with this lazy bastard. I would alway's do the heavy work while he just sat on the fork lift. On my last day i put glue on the seat of the fork lift. He sat on it for hour's then in my last five minutes i said to him he an ugly lazy smelly cluchie fuk and threw flour at him. Either i did not use enough glue or it could be because i used the cheap stuff but he hopped out of the chair and kicked the sh1t out of me. Worth it thou.

OP she probably just need's a good fuk. Set her up with someone. If that does not work set her up with someone with herpes.

star.chaser · 22-10-2009 06:02PM

Update: Heard her telling someone this morning that she had to delete 2,500 spam emails (from the US Government??) that she got overnight

AnonoBoy · 22-10-2009 06:53PM

Just tell everyone she makes a really bad cup of tea.

And I mean a really bad cup of tea.

Heh! heh! heh!

I think I've said that before. Damn broken search - won't let me check.

FlutterinBantam · 22-10-2009 07:33PM

If you are at a party and not being well "looked after" I usually go to the hot press, take out a nice big fluffy towel,into the jacks, and empty the contents of my guts into it .

Wipe up, fold the towel nicely , replace it in the back of the hotpress, thank your host for a "lovely evening" and depart.

I have heard that professional exterminators were called in before the cause was uncovered:cool:

22-10-2009 07:37PM

Inject them with AIDS blood.

LD 50 · 22-10-2009 07:41PM

If you can get hold of her phone for a few mins, change her contacts to random names, and filmstars. e.g. Brad Pitt, Batman, Dangermouse, Harry Potter. And don't forget to give the girls guy's names. E.g Michael becomes Superwoman.

smk89 · 23-10-2009 03:26AM

Put a meatspin gif as the desktop background of someones computer and then replace the windows start up music to You spin me right round.
Turn off computer and run away

Doc · 23-10-2009 03:36AM

Replace her windows start up music with the sound of the dirtiest porn you can find and if you can add sheep noises to it as well.

GrizzlyMan · 23-10-2009 03:27PM

tell her shes an assh*le and not to bother talking to you again, and dont waste your time worrying how to annoy her, she probably loves the attention anyway!!! or as one post said "kick to head!!!"

IvyTheTerrible · 23-10-2009 03:31PM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

If you are at a party and not being well "looked after" I usually go to the hot press, take out a nice big fluffy towel,into the jacks, and empty the contents of my guts into it .

Wipe up, fold the towel nicely , replace it in the back of the hotpress, thank your host for a "lovely evening" and depart.

I have heard that professional exterminators were called in before the cause was uncovered:cool:

You've told this story before, déja poo, anyone?

LouOB · 23-10-2009 03:57PM

Drop her mobile into glass of water and leave it on the desk

Cuddlesworth · 23-10-2009 04:38PM

star.chaser wrote: »

Update: Heard her telling someone this morning that she had to delete 2,500 spam emails that she got overnight

Can't wait for the OP's in your IT department to check the spam email address's against the IP logs. I'm sure you were stupid enough to do it from your work machine.

*giggles* · 23-10-2009 04:47PM

How about slitting a teeny tiny hole in her chair if it's covered, then slip a couple of up turned thumb tacks in. But don't press down on them so they poke through, oh no. Wait until she sits on them and then they poke through the fabric and then they....you see where this is going.

Blowfish · 23-10-2009 05:05PM

LD 50 wrote: »

If you can get hold of her phone for a few mins, change her contacts to random names, and filmstars. e.g. Brad Pitt, Batman, Dangermouse, Harry Potter. And don't forget to give the girls guy's names. E.g Michael becomes Superwoman.

Easier and more effective to just switch their fathers/mothers number with their boyfriends/girlfriends.

orourkeda · 23-10-2009 05:10PM

Tell her not to make you angry and she wouldnt like you when youre angry because:

http://fandangogroovers.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/the-incredible-hulk.jpg

fryup · 23-10-2009 05:29PM

don't spread rumours cause they'll only come back to haunt you

just put a laxative in her tea

23-10-2009 05:55PM

Break into her home every morning just before she comes down stairs to make breakfast. Remove one grain of sand from her egg timer each morning.

Et Voilà- three years later and her boiled eggs will be a mess each and every time! Considering that breakfast really is the most important meal of the day, her world will come crashing dwn around her.

AckwelFoley · 23-10-2009 07:06PM

Strap them to a chair in a room and blast 2 hours of Gerry Ryan on the radio at them.

You could be up for murder from the probable brain hemorrhage

star.chaser · 23-10-2009 07:35PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Can't wait for the OP's in your IT department to check the spam email address's against the IP logs. I'm sure you were stupid enough to do it from your work machine.

of course I've covered my tracks! dddoooouuuuhhhh
sounds like you've had something similar done to you? i'd say your one of those difficult type to work with.
the best thing about this is that I sit just feet away from her and hear her complaining in the morning about all the spam.
she actually had some kind of mini breakdown last week and started shouting at people. I hope it was because of this.

FlutterinBantam · 23-10-2009 07:44PM

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

You've told this story before, déja poo, anyone?

And what's wrong with that.??

The OP wanted some advice.

Cool your jets there horse, pull in for a bit of a sos beag there;)

jif · 23-10-2009 08:31PM

shaner wrote: »

Can you not get a victimless crime? What did IT do to you to deserve more work?

Personally, I've gotten this before: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/ (The annoying beep-a-tron) and put it under someone's desk to mess with them. The highpitched squeal setting is best...

HashSlinging wrote: »

I wrote a batch file script that ejected their PC CD tray and played a cow mooing at the same time. The script was timed to run at 9:30 every monday - friday.

It lasted about 6 months.

Wazdakka wrote: »

Cling film over the toilet bowel.

Nailbite solution around the rim of there mug.

Or if your feeling espically evil
Imac in there Shampoo

krudler wrote: »

When she's away from her desk, rightclick on her desktop, make a new folder called PORN!, then hit print screen, delete the folder, go into paint, import the printed screen and make it her desktop background, watch as she frantically tries to delete the non existant folder

Cheeky monkey wrote: »

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vinesugar/sets/72157594432152707/

It may require some overtime but it'd be worth it

Edsgravy0 wrote: »

This will require entry to the offender's house

1. Go to the bathroom. Preferably done at a party, where you don't have to excuse yourself. This is a covert op.

2. Lock bathroom door to avoid being rumbled by unsuspecting civilians

3. Take a shít, but not in the toilet bowl - do it in the cistern, into the big pool of water. You may even experience the displeasure of having it go straight into the water - or perhaps you'd like to do it with your behind underwater? Use your own discretion.

4. Replace cistern lid. Do not flush.

5. Every unsuspecting flush will dissolve a slight bit of your stool. Brown water begins to emerge after each flush. The smell will be horrendous, no doubt. A messed up toilet being the result.

Anonymous, cost effective, and devious. This one's got legs.

Nicknames include the 'slam dumper' and 'topdecking'

Damn there are some seroiusly creative and nasty people here, ranging from genius to just plain sick, regardless LOLZ all round!
but the imaginary desktop one has to be the best..goodtimes.

Fun Ways of getting even with people

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