Funerals and dying...

Coriolanus · 12-09-2009 11:21PM #1

So, I was at a funeral over the weekend and it got me and a couple of friends thinking about what's going to happen us.

What are the alternatives in Ireland? Personally I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered over Blessington Lakes but, if you want to be buried, are there non-Christian graveyards, or are the Christian graveyards amenable to non-Christians?

Also, the whole service etc. I've only ever been to a funeral in a Church. What are the alternatives? I remember being attracted to the idea of a Speaker for the Dead when I was growing up, but failing that, what about a shindig in a pub where everyone stands up and says their piece (if they want to)?

ChocolateSauce · 13-09-2009 01:30AM

Get your body crushed into a diamond. There's a Swiss company that does it for less than the price of a funeral, and you get the added bonus of being worn by your loved ones (do you like my ring? It's my wife :pac:).

MrPudding · 13-09-2009 09:54AM

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

Get your body crushed into a diamond. There's a Swiss company that does it for less than the price of a funeral, and you get the added bonus of being worn by your loved ones (do you like my ring? It's my wife :pac:).

Quality. http://www.lifegem.com/

Personally I am leaning toward the woodland burial type thing.

MrP

Zillah · 13-09-2009 10:15AM

From an emotional point of view, I would like for my entire body to be instantly vaporised upon death. Ideally sitting on top of a nuclear weapon, that sort of thing. From a more reasonable point of view I would like as many of my organs to be harvested to save/help others as possible, and whatever is left to be incinerated or given a natural (worms!) burial, under a fruit tree perhaps.

I think the very last option would be a grotesque Catholic style embalming followed by internment. This notion of trying to prevent the body from decaying as though to pretend against or to cheat death, it's just creepy. Do something good with your body or let nature take its course. If you really think Jesus is going to resurrect everyone then I think restoring your decayed body would be a fairly trivial feat, no need to keep it preserved.

ironingbored · 13-09-2009 10:28AM

MrPudding wrote: »

Quality. http://www.lifegem.com/

Absolutely brilliant!

ChocolateSauce · 13-09-2009 11:02AM

MrPudding wrote: »

Quality. http://www.lifegem.com/

Personally I am leaning toward the woodland burial type thing.

MrP

LOL! There's a "family sized" discount. Has your whole family died in a horrible tragedy? Fear not! You'll save thousands with our multi-death super saver offer! Now in multicolours.

ShooterSF · 13-09-2009 02:06PM

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

LOL! There's a "family sized" discount. Has your whole family died in a horrible tragedy? Fear not! You'll save thousands with our multi-death super saver offer! Now in multicolours.

I assumed that meant multiple diamonds out of the one person. I'd be worried that they wouldn't use all of me and I'd end up on the black market

candy-gal1 · 13-09-2009 02:14PM

Zillah wrote: »

From an emotional point of view, I would like for my entire body to be instantly vaporised upon death. Ideally sitting on top of a nuclear weapon, that sort of thing. From a more reasonable point of view I would like as many of my organs to be harvested to save/help others as possible, and whatever is left to be incinerated or given a natural (worms!) burial, under a fruit tree perhaps.

I think the very last option would be a grotesque Catholic style embalming followed by internment. This notion of trying to prevent the body from decaying as though to pretend against or to cheat death, it's just creepy. Do something good with your body or let nature take its course. If you really think Jesus is going to resurrect everyone then I think restoring your decayed body would be a fairly trivial feat, no need to keep it preserved.

i mean each to your own i say, but hoping to keep your body preserved as much as possible is just because the thought of being eaten by rats, worms, etc is just too horrible to think about.
plus the whole not giving organs idea is simply a mark of respect for yourself, i mean do u really want people opening u up and messing around with u, doing what they want with your body?! i wouldnt!
just a thought of something i think!:)

Stercus Accidit · 13-09-2009 02:21PM

When you die, the status quo is all your organs are removed, replaced with sawdust, and you are pumped with embalming fluid and covered in makeup so you look like you did at your debs.

The sanitised result is a delusion, much like chicken nuggets at macdonalds.

You are far better of being an organ donor, then cremated, than a stuffed husk dolled up for a night on the town with more slap than the young ones at the old wesley.

candy-gal1 · 13-09-2009 02:26PM

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

When you die, the status quo is all your organs are removed, replaced with sawdust, and you are pumped with embalming fluid and covered in makeup so you look like you did at your debs.

The sanitised result is a delusion, much like chicken nuggets at macdonalds.

You are far better of being an organ donor, then cremated, than a stuffed husk dolled up for a night on the town with more slap than the young ones at the old wesley.

ok, thanks for the info, didnt know that actually

phasers · 13-09-2009 02:26PM

ChocolateSauce wrote: »

Get your body crushed into a diamond. There's a Swiss company that does it for less than the price of a funeral, and you get the added bonus of being worn by your loved ones (do you like my ring? It's my wife :pac:).

I just told my mam I want this done if I die and she said no because it's too creepy. Respect my wishes damnit!

drkpower · 13-09-2009 02:29PM

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

When you die, the status quo is all your organs are removed, replaced with sawdust, and you are pumped with embalming fluid and covered in makeup so you look like you did at your debs.

Where are you getting that from?
Unless you have consented to the removal of your organs, they cannot be removed.

Isnt (one of the functions of) the embalming process so that the body can be presented to the family prior to funeral/burial, particularly where any delay is envisaged befoore burial? I understand that, for most people, seeing a loved one in the flesh (as it were) is important to the grieving process, especially where death was unexpected or sudden. Seems like a laudable endeavour to me.

Stercus Accidit · 13-09-2009 02:51PM

drkpower wrote: »

Where are you getting that from?
Unless you have consented to the removal of your organs, they cannot be removed.

Isnt (one of the functions of) the embalming process so that the body can be presented to the family prior to funeral/burial, particularly where any delay is envisaged befoore burial? I understand that, for most people, seeing a loved one in the flesh (as it were) is important to the grieving process, especially where death was unexpected or sudden. Seems like a laudable endeavour to me.

Maybe I am wrong about the organs, but you are certainly pumped with chemicals and covered in makeup, I'd much rather having organs removed and used, than rot somewhere.

My point was that modern embalming as used for open caskets etc. is just another sanitised process to remove reality from our lives, whereas organ donation, the reality of which saves lives, but is considered 'icky' by some, is much better in reality.

Turtwig · 13-09-2009 02:56PM

Have been at two memorial ceremonies for non religious folk (one atheist, the other theist), both were lovely. No prayers or anything just a time to reflect on the deceased's life - beautiful really:)

Does anyone else think the irish funeral system is wayyyyyy too long and dragged out?

drkpower · 13-09-2009 03:41PM

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

Maybe I am wrong about the organs, but you are certainly pumped with chemicals and covered in makeup, I'd much rather having organs removed and used, than rot somewhere.

My point was that modern embalming as used for open caskets etc. is just another sanitised process to remove reality from our lives, whereas organ donation, the reality of which saves lives, but is considered 'icky' by some, is much better in reality.

The embalming fluid is introudced throught the circulatory system and passes through the entire body but the organs are not removed. I do agree though, that organs are best used for transplantation but at the time of embalming, that option would no longer be possible and that discussion is for another thread anyway.

I dont really like the suggestion that embalming is wrong because it "removes reality from our lives". Surely, it is not unreasonable for a family in grieving to see their loved one (somewhat) as they remember them, not lifeless, gaunt, pale, not to mention some of the other unfortunate things that a body does in the aftermath of death that embalming helps to prevent? They have the rest of their lives to deal with the "reality" of a dead loved one; can you not give them a little piece of "unreality" to assist with their grieving?

ChocolateSauce · 13-09-2009 03:44PM

candy-gal1 wrote: »

i mean each to your own i say, but hoping to keep your body preserved as much as possible is just because the thought of being eaten by rats, worms, etc is just too horrible to think about.
plus the whole not giving organs idea is simply a mark of respect for yourself, i mean do u really want people opening u up and messing around with u, doing what they want with your body?! i wouldnt!
just a thought of something i think!:)

Can you please explain exactly how you'd be disrespecting yourself by giving your organs up for a dying person who needs them?

I find it rather disgusting that a person would value their own organs after death over the life of another person.

Stercus Accidit · 13-09-2009 05:36PM

Im not against embalming, more the idea that organ donation is interfering with the deceased or undesireable in some way when standard embalming is interferance anyway. Removing organs versus pickeling them, its all dead tissue anyway, why not use what can be used to help others? The stigma some people perceive is based on something far removed from reality.

bringitdown · 13-09-2009 06:05PM

Like the life gem idea.

My own wish is to be flung from a catapult in a measured arc, into a grave or similar suitable destination in the hope my flailing corpse would bring a smile to the faces of those I loved. Fireworks optional.

Granted rigour mortise may not help but the idea always makes me smile. Can't help but assume its the same from everyone else.

/edit: flailing corpse minus any donated organs ...

ChocolateSauce · 13-09-2009 06:07PM

My zany roommate wants to donate his body to ballistics research...sounds fun tbh! For the testers that is.

Turtwig · 13-09-2009 06:10PM

I want to be sent into a black hole:cool:
For 'science' of course

rccaulfield · 13-09-2009 06:31PM

Funeral home-crematorium-scattered in where i haven't met the place yet-howth head as a back-up! Then leave money for a get together for everyone for the rest of the day!

Zillah · 13-09-2009 07:28PM

candy-gal1 wrote: »

i mean do u really want people opening u up and messing around with u, doing what they want with your body?! i wouldnt!
just a thought of something i think!:)

I suggest you get over your ridiculously petty and childish fears and realise that once you're dead you don't need your body any more, and that by donating your organs you can let a family have a father for another decade rather than start arranging his funeral for the weekend.

Coriolanus · 13-09-2009 09:48PM

I like the life gem idea, if it's actually serious. Or the black hole! So you can live your life again in reverse! (10 points for anyone who gets the reference

)

Daftendirekt · 13-09-2009 10:35PM

Personally, I'd like my body to either be buried in a forest somewhere (coffinless) or dropped into the ocean to give the sharks a feast.

Not before my organs have been harvested and anyone who needs them has been given a new lease on life, though.

I think the Life Gem thing is really cool too, but I kind of like idea of just letting my body kind of dissolve into the earth. Anyone ever read The Amber Spyglass? Remember what happened to the ghosts at the end? I always found that a very poetic way of looking at death.

Coriolanus · 13-09-2009 10:38PM

I haven't finished reading the Materials yet, don't say more! :mad:

Turtwig · 13-09-2009 10:41PM

Nevore wrote: »

I haven't finished reading the Materials yet, don't say more! :mad:

If you're reading this then you really should have known better Will and Lyra....:p

Daftendirekt · 13-09-2009 10:53PM

Nevore wrote: »

I haven't finished reading the Materials yet, don't say more! :mad:

Don't worry, I haven't given anything away. I'll say no more though.

Handsome Bob · 14-09-2009 09:16AM

I'll take the traditional funeral, simply because I'd like to be buried alongside my loved ones. I don't think I'd get away with anything else really, as my Dad would say (to my Mum) "I want to be fecking cremated but you won't allow it!" :pac:

Tordelback · 14-09-2009 09:27AM

I suggest you get over your ridiculously petty and childish fears and realise that once you're dead you don't need your body any more, and that by donating your organs you can let a family have a father for another decade rather than start arranging his funeral for the weekend.

Well said. It's also worth noting that you won't be attending your own funeral, whether you want to or not, so your aim should be to give the living a ceremony (or lack thereof) that addresses their needs.

Handsome Bob · 14-09-2009 09:52AM

That's Zillah for you, ever a man of the people. :pac:

bigdogbarking · 14-09-2009 10:01AM

Nevore wrote: »

....What are the alternatives in Ireland? Personally I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered over Blessington Lakes but, if you want to be buried, are there non-Christian graveyards, or are the Christian graveyards amenable to non-Christians?....

with regards to non christian graveyards, As far as i know most graveyards are on council land not the church's so there should be no problem buying a plot from the council to get buried in.its only a christian service that most people avail of.
my wish is to donate my organs then either burn or bury me. i don't care as long as there isn't a shred of religios-ness about it.

Funerals and dying...

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