Weird people you work with

FlutterinBantam · 11-09-2009 12:52AM

Gimp I used to work with kept scratching his hole .

He'd be standing in the middle of the boardroom talking to a fellow director when without fail, the hand would head for the arse crack, delve in deep,run the four fingers hard up and down and withdraw.:eek:

fcuker could then go over and dip the same hand:eek::eek: into pretzel jars and consume same.

What a sleazy gipper, on one occasion he was talking to female director when the paw went for the arse crack,buried the slack of the trousers up his hole and then sniffed his claw:eek::eek:

I nearly got fcukin sick.Fcukin jocks must have been like the starting grid in Silverstone.

G R O S S.

Sharpshooter · 11-09-2009 12:54AM

I'd love to know whose ass you are licking.

FlutterinBantam · 11-09-2009 01:01AM

Not that dirty gimps anyway;)

fryup · 11-09-2009 08:15AM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Gimp I used to work with kept scratching his hole .

He'd be standing in the middle of the boardroom talking to a fellow director when without fail, the hand would head for the arse crack, delve in deep,run the four fingers hard up and down and withdraw.:eek:

sounds like he was suffering from stress, as this can lead to flexural psorasis in the anus > itchy hole

have pity on the man

AlienGav · 11-09-2009 08:46AM

fryup wrote: »

sounds like he was suffering from stress, as this can lead to flexural psorasis in the anus > itchy hole

have pity on the man

But does he really have to smell it afterwards?

ALL OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE IT EASY!!

Where I work, there's always the possibility of you finding something! I worked with a deaf old man who would always find mobile phones. He would walk right past you with about ten phones all ringing at once and be completely oblivious! He once tried to sell me a (as he said brand new portable telivision) I thought lovely!! can't go wrong with a new telly for 20 quid, untill i opened up the make shift box he had made, and found out it was a microwave oven! :O

Another (As you guys are calling them, Mammy's boys) wears disposable rubber gloves anytime he is having a dump.. Manys a time I've seen him comming out from the toilet after flushing and just fling the disposable gloves into the bin and walk past!
No need for hand washing!

I work with a guy that falls asleep while he's standing. Every day, no matter what time.

I work with a guy who is the grade as me, but insists he's everyone's boss. I work with a guy who's the image of Benny from TopCat.

The really mad people I can't talk about for fear they might read this... but I really am in an assylum.

snowy2008 · 11-09-2009 09:11AM

theres a guy i work with and he went on holidays to oz for three weeks, he came back and a year on, still has a really strong "australian" accent, oh my god, its so annoying, he keeps saying gday! really loudly when hes talking to someone or on the phone, and when a fax comes in, he just stares at the machine, takes whatever comes in, brings it to his desk, keeps it for an hour and then gives it to whoever its for, beat that!

AnonoBoy · 11-09-2009 09:20AM

teresa2008 wrote: »

and when a fax comes in, he just stares at the machine, takes whatever comes in, brings it to his desk, keeps it for an hour and then gives it to whoever its for, beat that!

That's incredible! Wow! You still use faxes???? :eek:

Linoge · 11-09-2009 09:53AM

People People! Its not the obvious weirdos that you have to fear, lest we forget this guy?! Starts from Post 5.

http://foot.ie/forums/showthread.php?t=80773

grenache · 11-09-2009 10:07AM

Had a right annoying oddball from Galway work with me in off licence in 07. When he was serving customers he would always say 'bucks' in stead of 'euros', in a strange american twang. 'Dat'll be fidy (50) bucks please, or twedy (20) bucks please.' When passing down stuff to me in the cellar he would always add 'mind your fingers' with every case he gave me, so if he gave me down 15 cases he would repeat it 15 times. He'd continue to say it even if i told him i heard it the first four times. Strange thing is i think he thought he was being funny. All i wanted to do by the end was smack him. He constantly bad mouthed people behind their backs. Bitched about a pretty sound work mate to me, and then slagged me off behind my back to others. Continually refused to do anything asked of him by the assistant manager because apparently ''he wasn't the boss of him'' :rolleyes: Got fired after he refused to come in for his rostered shift claiming he had a match . Serial wAnker.

Tallon · 11-09-2009 10:51AM

This guy is a legend in our office...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjtJMzjsB9M

anniehoo · 11-09-2009 11:21AM

Theres one seriously weird guy where i work. He talks to himself constantly and literally reads out loud anything hes reading on the computer until someone shoots him daggers looks and he shuts up.

If you meet him in the lift, he completely ignores you, turns his back and starts either humming or singing to himself.

He has a little blue scooter and i honestly think he thinks he's some big tough guy motorcyclist. He'll come whizzing (yes whizzing) past you on the path to park up outside the front of the building where the cyclists go and he actually accelerates and revs (no joke) as he goes by.

Also, the guy beside me is always "really busy" even if he's literally got 30 minutes of work in the entire day to do. Thats just more annoying than weird..but still

hoochio · 11-09-2009 11:46AM

Tallon wrote: »

This guy is a legend in our office...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjtJMzjsB9M

He has that down to a t!

Poor Uncle Tom · 11-09-2009 11:47AM

bob the bob wrote: »

Had to join just to post in this thread.

I have a manchild at the desk next to me. 25yo, living with parents. Calls his mother asking what's for dinner every day. Usually asks her to go into his room, get clothes from floor, wash these clothes.

He always talks about his bedroom, the 50" plasma, PS3, Xbox, 2 PCs as if it's his castle.

He talks all the time about buying a house to live in all by himself. No interest in living with a few other people for a few years. Straight from under Mammy's wings to big empty house. Then looks at prices of houses online, decides to stay with Mammy a bit longer and start some savings. In the next hour he will buy a DVD boxset for £100 and a new game for £50 and start speccing the next laptop he "needs".

His taste in food is like a 2 year old. He doesn't eat veg, fish, nuts and will only have chicken "the odd time". So mostly red meat and chips. A hardy meal I agree, but every day? when our department goes out to lunch, we have to go somewhere that does steak and chips. Amazingly there is a nice chinese restaurant nearby that offers steak and chips.

He usually has burger king for lunch, but once every few months will go on a "diet". This "diet" will involve eating nothing but grapes and bananas for 2 days, then calling in sick because he has piercing headaches and nausea.

I was telling him recently that my wife was going away for a few days. He says "Dude, you can have a house party!!!"
I explained that it was my house and I could have a house party any night of the year if I wanted.
Also, my wife is not my mother so I don't need her to go away for me to have some friends over and get pissed.

He spent 3 months agonising about whether to buy a guitar or not. (I play a little bit) I said go ahead, his favourite music is Nickleback and Green Day so he could be as good as his heros in 6 months with a bit of effort. He bought it, and gave up in 2 days cos "his fingers are too long" for guitar.

He bigs himself up to unbelievable levels
"On my first driving lesson, I was asked to do a 3 point turn. I did it in 2, and the instructor said I was the best driver he had ever seen"

He has been talking about studying for IT exams since I met him in 2007. He cannot digest and understand an email that is more than 1 paragraph long (easily distracted, poor concentration skills) yet proclaims he will be MCSE qualified in a year (This involves studying and working through 7 books each 700-1200 pages)

He says "hangovered" instead of hungover.

Save your pity, this fella is to be feared. He will wear you down. He is a Seientologist, trying to tell you only he can drive well, he is actually turning you gay. Before you know it you will be chasing ambulances telling people only you can help and bending over for guys called Bubba.!

There all bases covered.

star.chaser · 11-09-2009 12:21PM

fryup wrote: »

sounds like he was suffering from stress, as this can lead to flexural psorasis in the anus > itchy hole

I think you'll find the correct term for this condition is IHS,
itchy hole syndrome

Longboard · 11-09-2009 01:55PM

AlienGav wrote: »

I work with a guy that falls asleep while he's standing. Every day, no matter what time.

Thats not weird. That guy is gifted. I would kill to sleep standing up or even better, with my eyes open.

Chorcai · 11-09-2009 02:25PM

jackncoke wrote: »

They're everywhere..arent they

Is it an Irish thing to live with the mammy untill your 30 odd ?

petes · 11-09-2009 02:29PM

Chorcai wrote: »

Is it an Irish thing to live with the mammy untill your odd ?

FYP.

Boxfresh · 11-09-2009 03:01PM

I used to work with a guy who looked like this minus the make-up.
http://iamthatmommy.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/lonajuice.png?w=287&h=317

star.chaser · 11-09-2009 03:15PM

i used to live with a guy like this minus the make-up. we shared a house. we weren't actually "living together". moved out as soon as i copped it. playing Cher full blast gave it away.

wudangclan · 11-09-2009 03:22PM

Longboard wrote: »

Thats not weird. That guy is gifted. I would kill to sleep standing up or even better, with my eyes open.

no need....

http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/gabriel-cardona.jpg

Lord Trollington · 11-09-2009 03:32PM

Use to work with this French girl, she's living in Ireland few years now.

I use to think she was kinda ok until one day she was

telling me about her family,husband and 3 kids 4, 7 and 10.

She says that she treats the kids like adults.

Tells them that there is no such thing as Santy,Tooth Fairy, Easter bunny ect ect...

At christmas they dont exchange gifts, whatsoever.

I found this pretty weird and stayed clear whilst i worked there in case i told her how she was depriving her kids of a normal childhood...

star.chaser · 11-09-2009 03:49PM

whycliff wrote: »

Use to work with this French girl, she's living in Ireland few years now.

I use to think she was kinda ok until one day she was

telling me about her family,husband and 3 kids 4, 7 and 10.

She says that she treats the kids like adults.

Tells them that there is no such thing as Santy,Tooth Fairy, Easter bunny ect ect...

At christmas they dont exchange gifts, whatsoever.

I found this pretty weird and stayed clear whilst i worked there in case i told her how she was depriving her kids of a normal childhood...

thats cruel. someone here as well like that with kids except it's part of her religion, or so she says, not to celebrate christmas, easter, birthdays,etc,etc.
just a tight arse in my opinion, anyone like that.

cathysworld · 11-09-2009 03:56PM

whycliff wrote: »

Tells them that there is no such thing as Santy,Tooth Fairy, Easter bunny ect ect...

Why would she lie like that??

11-09-2009 03:58PM

thats cruel. someone here as well like that except it's part of her religion, or so she says, not to celebrate christmas, easter, birthdays,etc,etc.
just a tight arse in my opinion, anyone like that

I'd rather never have know about ''Santy'' because when I found out he wasn't real (On Xmas day!) I was crushed

kittenkiller · 11-09-2009 04:07PM

We used to have a guy who logged onto gaydar at any given opportunity and would download nekey pictures of people and be sure to call people over to have a gawp!

Then there was the guy from Louth who insisted on speaking with an American accent.

A woman who would completely ignore any "Good Morning"'s you'd throw her way but scowl at you if you didn't say anything.

Generic Boob-watchers (guys, you absolutely ruin it for all the others... one too many obvious stares will stop the cleavage tops for good so no one can enjoy them...).

I guess nothing too OTT.

I *do* know a guy who is notorious for falling asleep at his desk and muttering to himself in his dreams, sometimes even waking up screaming.
That'd be great to work with!

the_syco · 11-09-2009 04:18PM

Chorcai wrote: »

Is it an Irish thing to live with the mammy untill your 30 odd ?

No. It's an Irish thing to think it's odd that not everyone spent €300,000 for a small apartment 3 years ago...

Lord Trollington · 11-09-2009 04:31PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd rather never have know about ''Santy'' because when I found out he wasn't real (On Xmas day!) I was crushed

Agree to a certain extent, but nothing can ever match teh excitement of getting up xmas morning to see what you got...
And its cruel to deprive kids of that...

EL_Loco · 11-09-2009 04:40PM

been A while since I've worked with anyone I could class as proper weird. A few annoying heads but nothing that'd stand out. Jaysus, dare I say it they're a normal enough crowd.

11-09-2009 05:08PM

whycliff wrote: »

Agree to a certain extent, but nothing can ever match teh excitement of getting up xmas morning to see what you got...
And its cruel to deprive kids of that...

True, I'm just bitter from my experience:pac:

ScabbyLeg · 11-09-2009 06:24PM

star.chaser wrote: »

is this all just one big european joke on Ireland. Are they just sending all the nutters over here on one way Ryanair tickets or what?

I asked this one German guy i worked with who i got stuck with on the bus home if he had any plans for the weekend.

His reply: "I'm buyink a vireless rooter"

Reminds me of this great ad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSdxqIBfEAw

Weird people you work with

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