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Most annoying Military phases..........

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Comments

  • #52
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    Did you shave this morning?
    Yes Cpl.
    Did you take the cap off the razor?

    Did you shave this morning?
    Yes Cpl.
    Did you use a mirror?
    Yes Cpl.
    Try use a razor next time its sharper.


  • #53
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Did you iron ur gear this morning?

    Yes Corporal!

    What did you fu*king use? .....a 9 iron????

    __________________

    Right get off the trucks!!!

    __________________

    You are Ranger number 25...and...you are fuc*ed!!

    __________________

    Who's your buddy!!

    __________________


  • #54
    hk
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭hk


    Sgt: did you shave this morning

    No Sgt

    Sgt: Why not?

    Because im a woman sgt

    Sgt: Dosnt matter, if you have a beard you have to shave


  • #55
    ddef
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 426 ✭✭ddef


    Get me Washington on the line!!


  • #56
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    Stand up you three men and be counted.


  • #57
    rich1874
    Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭rich1874


    (When lending someone a pen)
    'There's a big return spring rod on that pen' (A bren joke)


  • #58
    ArdMhacha
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭ArdMhacha


    Phrases i hated the most...
    "I didnt tell you to start" after doing 40 press ups!
    "Romeo Cat 4"
    "Start banging them out"
    "have you met Tony Quinn?"
    "Get into it!!"

    ah the Army, best days of my life ha


  • #59
    GalwayKiefer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,005 ✭✭✭GalwayKiefer


    "I need 3 volunteers - you, you and you!"
    :rolleyes:


  • #60
    junder
    Registered Users Posts: 2,706 ✭✭✭junder


    when marching

    "this is my train set and i decide were its going"
    "heads back in the collers and LOOK UP"
    a perticuler Royal Irish saying
    straighten those arms your not in (insert flute band name) now


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  • #61
    Skyhawk1990
    Registered Users Posts: 199 ✭✭Skyhawk1990


    "Everyone off the truck!" followed a few minutes later by "Everyone back on the truck!"


  • #62
    Poccington
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭Poccington


    Skyhawk1990 wrote: »
    "Everyone off the truck!" followed a few minutes later by "Everyone back on the truck!"

    I'm telling your Sgt you're cribbing on the Internet. :P


  • #63
    Skyhawk1990
    Registered Users Posts: 199 ✭✭Skyhawk1990


    You know as well as I do that he'd agree! :p He's usually on the truck too!:D


  • #64
    Stovepipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,984 ✭✭✭Stovepipe


    Hi all,
    Im getting flashbacks here.Origin of pax? In the airline industry, it's a standard word, used every day by every airline..............................................as for drill sergeants, how many of you are familiar with:" Stop moving!....... Stop twitchiiiiiiing! Are you a ****ing spastic (followed by name of heat magnet).........what are you looking at me for? Are you a queer? Do you fancy me, ya twat?(which was once answered fatally by an idiot, who said, of course I do, ya big hunk, under his breath but was heard by the rodent-sharp hearing of the DS, who ran the mug around the square with his FN over his head).......stop scratching? have you got fleas? have you got mange? You're a ****ing culchie, of course you have!!!........move the rifle around your head, not shake your big lump around the rifle (.303 drill).
    All good fun, of course.
    regards
    Stovepipe


  • #65
    bren37
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭bren37


    "you're that thick, it would take 3 promotions to be an asshole"


  • #66
    BuckJamesRogers
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭BuckJamesRogers


    Local-womanizer wrote: »
    Not much of a saying but something that happened to a lad on the GPMG.

    This was just training,not on the range.

    Lad lying behind the GPMG,with the mistake of having his finger on the trigger when he shouldent.

    Que PDF Sgt:"PRIVATE,WHERE IS YOUR TRIGGER FINGER?!!!!!"

    Que Pte:"HERE SGT!!!!" followed by him holding his trigger finger up in the air for the Sgt to see.:p

    Sgt puts his head into his hands and walks away:p

    The Sgt in question was literally about to give up on the army at that point. Fcuk me that was funny.

    What about "deas is your right and cle is your left"
    or
    "IF I WANTED YOU TO SMILE, I'D HAVE TAKEN YOU TO THE STORES AND GOT THE Q TO ISSUE YOU ONE!"


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  • #67
    dodgydes
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭dodgydes


    "Ar sodar" ...this usually means the start of a lot of running about

    "I've a two year old at home who can march/run/do press ups better than you."

    best military saying - " endex":D


  • #68
    Morpheus
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Morpheus



    as for drill sergeants, how many of you are familiar with:" Stop moving!....... Stop twitchiiiiiiing! Are you a ****ing spastic (followed by name of heat magnet).........what are you looking at me for? Are you a queer? Do you fancy me, ya twat?(which was once answered fatally by an idiot, who said, of course I do, ya big hunk, under his breath but was heard by the rodent-sharp hearing of the DS, who ran the mug around the square with his FN over his head).......stop scratching? have you got fleas? have you got mange? You're a ****ing culchie, of course you have!!!........move the rifle around your head, not shake your big lump around the rifle (.303 drill).
    All good fun, of course.
    regards
    Stovepipe

    Fantastic stuff,its all very PC now though, cant be shouting things like that at soldiers.... sadly :(.... soldiers have feelings too... you might upset them or worse, scare them!


  • #69
    mhorda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46 ✭mhorda


    ex_infantry man wrote: »
    when the cpl shouts " are you ****tting me" or "20 pages on the inside of a golf ball by revellie tomorrow"

    Oh I have done that...a day in the life of a cornflake, why pigeons should wear knee pads...why punctuality is important to being punctual...the most ridiculous things I could think of...
    concussion wrote: »
    'Get it done',

    'It's a RIGHT-about turn not left-about turn...'

    Did you shave this morning?.....Did you use a mirror?....Next time use a razor'

    When I was on a career course...did you shave with a stone!

    during room inspection..sgt drops a sweet behind my locker...'WERE YOU EATING SWEETS!'...me: no sgt I believe that you accidentally dropped it.. Sgt:are you calling me fat?

    I got 20 laps of kilworth camp with a rifle above my head..lol


    on the ferry to bere island....' go up and get me 200fags from the duty free'

    'what are you laughing at?'


    one of my favorites on the other hand was by one of the soundest sgts ever...his catch phrase to get people to listen to him...

    come on now lads! tune into radio ray!

    (his name obviously)


  • #70
    Fozzydog3
    Registered Users Posts: 528 ✭✭✭Fozzydog3


    "when your names called out , remember it ! "


  • #71
    Rougebladez
    Registered Users Posts: 152 ✭✭Rougebladez


    The best I've heard was

    How long did it take you to iron the wrinkles into that shirt?

    Class!


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  • #72
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    Not really military as it was the cadets in the UK but an AWO who's favourite line on camps was

    "Volanteers for Flying?"
    or
    "Volanteers for Shooting?"

    "Ah You! Fly/Shoot over there and get me..."

    The other one was Hey Blah I heard your girl-friend told you to give her ten inches and make her bleed so you ****ed her twice and smacked her in the face.


  • #73
    tac foley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,500 ✭✭✭tac foley


    'Form three sides of a circle round me!'

    tac


  • #74
    eatmeimorganic
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭eatmeimorganic


    (To a female recruit at morning parade)

    (Sgt) Recruit.......you are out of uniform !!

    (Rct) Where sergeant ???

    (Sgt) My billet.....tonight.....8.30 ;)

    An ex british paratrooper now serving as a Sergeant in the Irish army. was in the back of a truck.....took out a pringle can and proceeded to deliver this message to the rest of us as we arrived in Coolmooney.

    "Achtung, achtung, attention all Juden......I mean holiday campers. We are now arriving at the ze death camp.....I mean ze HOLIDAY camp. Would the following....CAMPERS.....please report for their daily beatings............Hosford...........................That is all"

    We sent a recruit down to the CQMS to get a Bap to fix the telly in the guardroom. We almost **** ourselves when he came back with one.....the the Q right behind him smiling.

    We were on a mortar course in Kilworth, training on getting the systems in and out of action. Weather was the usual wet and cold. I was laying in the bi-pod and the barrel slipped from a teammates hand and almost knocked me out. The Sgt then ordered us out of action and told us "set it up again at the top of flagstaff hill..........double up" :mad: .............

    On the ground, and we set up basecamp around a ruin of a house up the Galtees. Everything had just settled down and we had an NCO's meeting in the ruin. A captain walked in and our CS announced "bit of a house, bit of a house, Aire" :D


  • #75
    pat25c
    Registered Users Posts: 129 ✭✭pat25c


    lift them , bend them, sink them.


  • #76
    wobbleyhead
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭wobbleyhead


    "Right lads time to pick to the brass"
    "Stag on"
    "The RV is just over that hill"
    Only had this one once and to be far I deserved it "boots in the OC's inbox 07:30"
    "My mistake, you're fault"
    "Charlie fire team, prepare to go left flanking"
    "Gucci" when referring to any bit of non issue useful kit

    It's funny how you can never think of these things when you want to


  • #77
    tac foley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,500 ✭✭✭tac foley


    'I didn't say it was your fault, I said that I was blaming you.'

    tac


  • #78
    ssvectra
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭ssvectra


    While out on combat run i constantly heard "Keep up with me slow down"

    Light Horse Leeeeeeeft turn quick march "Clipity clop Clippity Clop" :eek:


  • #79
    Reggie.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,479 ✭✭✭✭Reggie.


    Your on your own time now :mad:


  • #80
    goldie fish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    NCO: How many men in this Billet?
    answer from billet: Seven!

    NCO: Well half of you come with me!


  • #81
    tac foley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,500 ✭✭✭tac foley


    'Half of you go with Cpl J, half come with me, the rest of you go with Sgt H...'

    'Form three sides of a circle round me..'

    'SILENCE!!!! when you speak to an officer!!!!'

    tac


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  • #82
    sharpy2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭sharpy2010


    hurry up and wait!!
    CS/CQ: I need a volunteer... you'll do!!!:mad:


  • #83
    discus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,049 ✭✭✭discus


    Nig. Hate that term.

    Also hate "pays to be a winner".


  • #84
    tac foley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,500 ✭✭✭tac foley


    discus wrote: »
    Nig. Hate that term.

    Also hate "pays to be a winner".

    'Nig'?

    My mate Kevin, a 6ft 2in Gunner in the RAF Regiment and fellow gun-club member, is from Trinidad and is, I have to admit, pretty dark-skinned. I would imagine that anybody who called him a 'nig' would be trying hard to remove their elbows from their ears after saying it to him.

    tac


  • #85
    discus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,049 ✭✭✭discus


    Its a gunner thing. Newly Issued Gunner, apparently. I dont hate it for the racial connotations, I hate it because no matter how long you are in, you are still a nig to somebody.


  • #86
    sthilmick
    Registered Users Posts: 173 ✭✭sthilmick


    NCO said "its 5 miles as the crow flies but I know a short cut " Platoon left scratching their heads wondering if Army crows fly crooked


  • #87
    sthilmick
    Registered Users Posts: 173 ✭✭sthilmick


    Only Queers and Steers come from **********
    your left/right not your mothers left/right


  • #88
    Long Gone
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 771 ✭✭✭Long Gone


    BigDuffman wrote: »
    A Bucket of steam
    DPM paint
    A leg of salmon
    Skirting Board Ladder
    Sky Hooks
    Keys to the square
    Glass hammer
    Some forks for the soup

    A tin of tartan paint
    A long weight
    A halal bacon sandwich


  • #89
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    discus wrote: »
    Its a gunner thing. Newly Issued Gunner, apparently. I dont hate it for the racial connotations, I hate it because no matter how long you are in, you are still a nig to somebody.

    Hate that as well. Especially when they're looking to dick someone. "Who's the niggiest here?". Not so bad now i've been in a few years but used to dread hearing that when i first got to reg.

    Also people who call weapons "gats". Sounds ridiculous coming from a non-American.


  • #90
    sthilmick
    Registered Users Posts: 173 ✭✭sthilmick


    Long Gone wrote: »
    A tin of tartan paint
    A long weight
    A halal bacon sandwich

    New modern army back in the day we were being threatened by the 40000 russians comming over the hill Commi treath loomed large in the 90's


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  • #91
    userfriendly2
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭userfriendly2


    Civvies pay to do this sort of thing!!!

    My boots have more overseas service than you have service!!

    Red Arse(After 6 years service)

    Waiting on me buddy

    Get a neck shave on your forehead(directed at lads with bad haircuts)

    Did I tell ya about my first trip...

    Stand by your beds

    I need a volunteer...


  • #92
    sthilmick
    Registered Users Posts: 173 ✭✭sthilmick


    The lads once glued a pound coin in the carpark outside the hanger everyone went to pick it up so did I but when I saw it was stuck I went to the boot of the car and grabbed a hammer and screwdriver out of my tool box and liberated it they were pissed off


  • #93
    Brian Clowen
    Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭Brian Clowen


    Well when I was in the Reserve.

    Sure no body could be that stupid....

    Adopt the leaning rest.

    One. Two. Three. One.
    One. Two. Three. Two.
    One. Two. Three. Three.....
    ..........
    One. Two. Three..Twenty Five.


  • #94
    earlytobed
    Registered Users Posts: 452 ✭✭earlytobed


    YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!



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