Any stupid questions that somebody asked you, that really stand out?

Fizman · 14-08-2009 02:38AM #1

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people".

A man once said this. Valid point too.

There's this girl I've been seeing for a few months now. Pretty girl. Fab body. Great big boobs. Quite intelligent. Anywho all of that is irrelevant.

I was in her gaff there a few weeks back, just before she was about to set off on a weeks holidays to Spain with some of her mates. So we were chatting away about what not, watching some TV, when money and wealth came into the conversation. She then turned to me and asked;

"Actually I think i'll do the Euro Millions when i'm there. I should have a better chance of winning it, shouldn't I"?

Now in fairness, 2-3 seconds after asking this, she declared "Actually, maybe not" in a slightly embarrassed tone. I didn't even turn my head from the TV to look at her in these few seconds.

From behind my palm-covered face, I was still trying to comprehend how she would have managed to even compute that she would have had a better chance of winning over there. I think I got a little embarrassed for her too, and just said "Ah, you're probably better not doing it at all, seeing as you're not a resident etc etc".
She replied, "Ya, you're probably right".

It was the best thing I could come up with to get away from the topic, as I was fit to burst into laughter. Now if I had burst into laughter, there certainly wouldn't have been any fun times to be had later on, so I had to get my priorities right!

Are there any ridiculous questions that stick out in your mind that you have been asked in the past?

Sharpshooter · 14-08-2009 02:40AM

Do you love me?
/it was a ridiculous question.

14-08-2009 02:42AM

Yes.

admiralofthefleet · 14-08-2009 02:42AM

what colour do you want that wall white washed

Call Me Jimmy · 14-08-2009 02:43AM

So... you had sex.

brummytom · 14-08-2009 02:44AM

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?

That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

ottostreet · 14-08-2009 02:45AM

You just wanted to tell us all about this girl, didn't you? :pac:

Local-womanizer · 14-08-2009 02:45AM

You got yourself a real catch:p

Not a question but a similar thing.

I was sitting around with mates chatting about our local radio station.Now on this station there is a gay DJ who had just broken up with his OH.Anyhow,on the phone chatting to this DJ was an aul farmer,giving out about something,but at the end of the interview he shouts "Sean!Are ye still bumming that lad from Ballybofey?"Geniune question that was met with the phone being put down...

Since that the radio station has a 5 second delay from talk to broadcast,so as this dosent happen again,which we explained to my mate.

He replies:"Thats just stupid,you could just wait 5 seconds and then say what you want"

We dident know what to do,we thought we would die with laughter.

Followed by him claiming he was joking and since been followed by him denying it completely

14-08-2009 02:45AM

brummytom wrote: »

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?

That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

Em,I think you should change maths teacher tbh.

Fizman · 14-08-2009 02:47AM

brummytom wrote: »

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?

That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

God bless the English education system. :pac:

brummytom · 14-08-2009 02:48AM

Gordon Dazzling Type wrote: »

Em,I think you should change maths teacher tbh.

Oh I wish I could.

Turns out murder's illegal :mad:.

(Seriously, I hate the "woman")

admiralofthefleet · 14-08-2009 02:51AM

brummytom wrote: »

Oh I wish I could.

Turns out murder's illegal :mad:.

(Seriously, I hate the "woman")

you would still slip her one though, wouldnt you

brummytom · 14-08-2009 02:52AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

you would still slip her one though, wouldnt you

If by 'slip her one' you mean put a cyanide in her tea then fooking yes I would

a-k-47 · 14-08-2009 02:52AM

how much are them penny jellies.

i got a good deal 3 for the price of 4

do you get sun in ireland (not really but, fking yanks)

so many stupid hilarious comments questions over the years, mostly in pub banteR

brummytom · 14-08-2009 02:54AM

Fizman wrote: »

There's this girl I've been seeing for a few months now. Pretty girl. Fab body. Great big boobs. Quite intelligent. Anywho all of that is irrelevant.

Pics or GTFO

4zn76tysfajdxp · 14-08-2009 02:55AM

brummytom wrote: »

fooking yes I would

There we go.

brummytom · 14-08-2009 02:56AM

Mark Polite Stick wrote: »

There we go.

Surely you've noticed by now I'd ride anything with an orifice?
And if there was no orifice.. I'd make one

The_Minister · 14-08-2009 03:00AM

On two occasions I have been asked,—"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
Babbage (1864), Passages from the Life of a Philosopher, ch. 5 "Difference Engine No. 1"

Fizman · 14-08-2009 03:01AM

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

So... you had sex.

Actually no.

ottostreet wrote: »

You just wanted to tell us all about this girl, didn't you? :pac:

Well moreso the question, but said I'd describe her a little anyways.

brummytom wrote: »

Pics or GTFO

I could, but I'd get into a bit of trouble.

brummytom wrote: »

Surely you've noticed by now I'd ride anything with an orifice?
And if there was no orifice.. I'd make one

So you're one of these lads who go by......'If it moves fcuk it. If it doesn't move, fcuk it till it moves". :pac:

Nice.

Novella · 14-08-2009 03:05AM

Can blind people cry?

syklops · 14-08-2009 03:12AM

I was still trying to comprehend how she would have managed to even compute

Let me stop you there. Hold on to her. She is your only chance at happiness.

admiralofthefleet · 14-08-2009 03:13AM

Novella wrote: »

Can blind people cry?

can they get blind drunk?

Fizman · 14-08-2009 03:13AM

syklops wrote: »

Let me stop you there. Hold on to her. She is your only chance at happiness.

Jellies make me happy.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 14-08-2009 03:17AM

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Do you love me?
/it was a ridiculous question.

and you never replied.

Caboose · 14-08-2009 03:25AM

Driving an American lady back to her house on a sunny day with sunroof open and we pull up to traffic lights which turn red. She hears the beeping for the pedestrian lights and asks what's that sound for? I tell her it's to let blind people know that its safe to cross the road. There's a slight pause as the monkey pulls some levers and I'm greeted with the following statement:

"oh in America we don't let blind people drive".

Since that wasn't a question I said I'd better answer the thread title. Any question which is asked after I give the answer. For example:

Me: "I'll get to it tomorrow.
Them: "so when are you going to have a look at it?"

grenache · 14-08-2009 03:31AM

Since i work in an off-licence that also acts as a tourist office, i get asked plenty of stupid questions....

An American lady holding up a dvd we had for sale: ''what language is this in, does it come in American?''

A woman looking for our advertised bargain wine: ''Where is your 4.99 wine?'' Its over here madam. ''Very good. How much is it?''

A Canadian gentleman: ''Can i have a pitcher of your Guinness please?''. This is not a pub sir, its an off-licence. 'Oh, thats disappointing, i saw your Guinness sign outside and presumed it was a pub''. But there are no seats or no beer taps here sir. ''Yeah well i can see that now!''

''Do you sell candle sticks here?'' No, sorry, this is an OFF LICENCE, not a candle shop. ''Oh right, its just that i saw a woman coming out of here with some candles yesterday''

But perhaps the most ridiculous question i get asked every day is, 'can i have a plastic bag for free?' :rolleyes:

Caboose · 14-08-2009 03:35AM

ah the Americans & canadians. Special.

Zillah · 14-08-2009 03:38AM

grenache wrote: »

A Canadian gentleman: ''Can i have a pitcher of your Guinness please?''. This is not a pub sir, its an off-licence. 'Oh, thats disappointing, i saw your Guinness sign outside and presumed it was a pub''. But there are no seats or no beer taps here sir. ''Yeah well i can see that now!''

This is amazing.

I also doubt that at the time you were so "madam" this and "sir" that.

Cupcake_Crisis · 14-08-2009 03:38AM

"Do your boobs make your back hurt??" ...............classy man!

chupacabra · 14-08-2009 03:41AM

"Djew want fries with that?"

Novella · 14-08-2009 03:43AM

Ooooh, and....

"Can I get a discount on this top?"
"Why, what's wrong with it?"
"Eh, nothin' like, just it's very expensive!"

Hahahahahahaha. I love my job!

Any stupid questions that somebody asked you, that really stand out?

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