Any stupid questions that somebody asked you, that really stand out?

Fizman

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people".

A man once said this. Valid point too.

There's this girl I've been seeing for a few months now. Pretty girl. Fab body. Great big boobs. Quite intelligent. Anywho all of that is irrelevant.

I was in her gaff there a few weeks back, just before she was about to set off on a weeks holidays to Spain with some of her mates. So we were chatting away about what not, watching some TV, when money and wealth came into the conversation. She then turned to me and asked;

"Actually I think i'll do the Euro Millions when i'm there. I should have a better chance of winning it, shouldn't I"?



Now in fairness, 2-3 seconds after asking this, she declared "Actually, maybe not" in a slightly embarrassed tone. I didn't even turn my head from the TV to look at her in these few seconds.

From behind my palm-covered face, I was still trying to comprehend how she would have managed to even compute that she would have had a better chance of winning over there. I think I got a little embarrassed for her too, and just said "Ah, you're probably better not doing it at all, seeing as you're not a resident etc etc".
She replied, "Ya, you're probably right".

It was the best thing I could come up with to get away from the topic, as I was fit to burst into laughter. Now if I had burst into laughter, there certainly wouldn't have been any fun times to be had later on, so I had to get my priorities right!


Are there any ridiculous questions that stick out in your mind that you have been asked in the past?

Sharpshooter

Do you love me?
/it was a ridiculous question.

Yes.

admiralofthefleet

what colour do you want that wall white washed

Call Me Jimmy

So... you had sex.

brummytom

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?


That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

ottostreet

You just wanted to tell us all about this girl, didn't you? :pac:

Local-womanizer

You got yourself a real catch:p

Not a question but a similar thing.

I was sitting around with mates chatting about our local radio station.Now on this station there is a gay DJ who had just broken up with his OH.Anyhow,on the phone chatting to this DJ was an aul farmer,giving out about something,but at the end of the interview he shouts "Sean!Are ye still bumming that lad from Ballybofey?"Geniune question that was met with the phone being put down...

Since that the radio station has a 5 second delay from talk to broadcast,so as this dosent happen again,which we explained to my mate.

He replies:"Thats just stupid,you could just wait 5 seconds and then say what you want"

We dident know what to do,we thought we would die with laughter.

Followed by him claiming he was joking and since been followed by him denying it completely

brummytom

brummytom wrote: »

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?


That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

Em,I think you should change maths teacher tbh.

Fizman

brummytom wrote: »

Think I've posted this before:
Was called behind after Maths by the teacher;

Teacher: Your attitude is disgusting Tom; you never do the work
Me: I finished all the work today miss
Teacher: But you were talking
Me: Yeah, after I finished the work, the person I was talkin to had aswell
Teacher: So if someone was sedated, I could kill them?


That was 3 months ago, I still don't get it

God bless the English education system. :pac:

brummytom

Gordon Dazzling Type wrote: »

Em,I think you should change maths teacher tbh.

Oh I wish I could.

Turns out murder's illegal :mad:.

(Seriously, I hate the "woman")

admiralofthefleet

brummytom wrote: »

Oh I wish I could.

Turns out murder's illegal :mad:.

(Seriously, I hate the "woman")

you would still slip her one though, wouldnt you

brummytom

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

you would still slip her one though, wouldnt you

If by 'slip her one' you mean put a cyanide in her tea then fooking yes I would

a-k-47

how much are them penny jellies.

i got a good deal 3 for the price of 4

do you get sun in ireland (not really but, fking yanks)

so many stupid hilarious comments questions over the years, mostly in pub banteR

brummytom

Fizman wrote: »

There's this girl I've been seeing for a few months now. Pretty girl. Fab body. Great big boobs. Quite intelligent. Anywho all of that is irrelevant.

Pics or GTFO

4zn76tysfajdxp

brummytom wrote: »

fooking yes I would

There we go.

brummytom

Mark Polite Stick wrote: »

There we go.

Surely you've noticed by now I'd ride anything with an orifice?
And if there was no orifice.. I'd make one

The_Minister

On two occasions I have been asked,—"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
Babbage (1864), Passages from the Life of a Philosopher, ch. 5 "Difference Engine No. 1"

Fizman

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

So... you had sex.

Actually no.

ottostreet wrote: »

You just wanted to tell us all about this girl, didn't you? :pac:

Well moreso the question, but said I'd describe her a little anyways.

brummytom wrote: »

Pics or GTFO

I could, but I'd get into a bit of trouble.

brummytom wrote: »

Surely you've noticed by now I'd ride anything with an orifice?
And if there was no orifice.. I'd make one

So you're one of these lads who go by......'If it moves fcuk it. If it doesn't move, fcuk it till it moves". :pac:

Nice.

Novella

Can blind people cry?

syklops

I was still trying to comprehend how she would have managed to even compute

Let me stop you there. Hold on to her. She is your only chance at happiness.

admiralofthefleet

Novella wrote: »

Can blind people cry?

can they get blind drunk?

Fizman

syklops wrote: »

Let me stop you there. Hold on to her. She is your only chance at happiness.

Jellies make me happy.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Do you love me?
/it was a ridiculous question.

and you never replied.

Caboose

Driving an American lady back to her house on a sunny day with sunroof open and we pull up to traffic lights which turn red. She hears the beeping for the pedestrian lights and asks what's that sound for? I tell her it's to let blind people know that its safe to cross the road. There's a slight pause as the monkey pulls some levers and I'm greeted with the following statement:

"oh in America we don't let blind people drive".

Since that wasn't a question I said I'd better answer the thread title. Any question which is asked after I give the answer. For example:

Me: "I'll get to it tomorrow.
Them: "so when are you going to have a look at it?"

grenache

Since i work in an off-licence that also acts as a tourist office, i get asked plenty of stupid questions....


An American lady holding up a dvd we had for sale: ''what language is this in, does it come in American?''


A woman looking for our advertised bargain wine: ''Where is your 4.99 wine?'' Its over here madam. ''Very good. How much is it?''


A Canadian gentleman: ''Can i have a pitcher of your Guinness please?''. This is not a pub sir, its an off-licence. 'Oh, thats disappointing, i saw your Guinness sign outside and presumed it was a pub''. But there are no seats or no beer taps here sir. ''Yeah well i can see that now!''



''Do you sell candle sticks here?'' No, sorry, this is an OFF LICENCE, not a candle shop. ''Oh right, its just that i saw a woman coming out of here with some candles yesterday''

But perhaps the most ridiculous question i get asked every day is, 'can i have a plastic bag for free?' :rolleyes:

Caboose

ah the Americans & canadians. Special.

Zillah

grenache wrote: »

A Canadian gentleman: ''Can i have a pitcher of your Guinness please?''. This is not a pub sir, its an off-licence. 'Oh, thats disappointing, i saw your Guinness sign outside and presumed it was a pub''. But there are no seats or no beer taps here sir. ''Yeah well i can see that now!''

This is amazing.

I also doubt that at the time you were so "madam" this and "sir" that.

Cupcake_Crisis

"Do your boobs make your back hurt??" ...............classy man!

chupacabra

"Djew want fries with that?"

Novella

Ooooh, and....

"Can I get a discount on this top?"
"Why, what's wrong with it?"
"Eh, nothin' like, just it's very expensive!"

Hahahahahahaha. I love my job!

grenache

Zillah wrote: »

This is amazing.

I also doubt that at the time you were so "madam" this and "sir" that.

oh yes i was, i'm always polite to the point of extreme.

Overheal

answering some computer questions,

Anon wrote:

Am i to understand that if i use my laptop battery on ac power i'm supposed to remove the battery? But then there would be a giant hole on the bottom of my laptop...could something leak/pose a danger?

:rolleyes:

Blazer

Gets them all the time..from my boss to my family to friends..
It's starts like this

"Do you mind if you could....."

Yes I fcukin mind ...now fcuk off and leave me surf boards in peace and quiet. :mad:

Xavi6

I always ask hot girls if they can touch their elbows behind their back. May sound like a stupid question but it works every time.

Gummy Panda

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Do you love me?
/it was a ridiculous question.

I already said no. You fart in your sleep!!

Penn

After stopping off at a petrol station, my sister gave the attendant her keys so he could open the tank. After he gave the keys back and she gave him the money, half a mile down the road, she shouts

"Wait... did he give me back my keys?"

super_furry

Not a stupid question but answer. Asked someone what time it was yesterday and she said: 'I think about an hour'. Repeated the question and got the same answer.

humanji

A woman I used to work with asked, "Do you think there are more people alive than dead?"

steppen

A German once asked me if we had traffic lights in ireland.

IvyTheTerrible

humanji wrote: »

A woman I used to work with asked, "Do you think there are more people alive than dead?"

I think that's an interesting question!

Ice_Box

Overheard at GAA match where a guy was explaining the rules to his girlfirend.

Her: Why have they stopped?
Him: Cos its half time.
Her after half time: whats happening now I thought we were trying to get the ball into those goals?
Him: The teams have swapped sides.
Her after short pause: Do they swap jerseys too?
Me : wets self.

El Siglo

I work in a university and as Mr. Garrison once aptly put it; "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

weird

Fizman wrote: »

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people".

A man once said this. Valid point too.

There's this girl I've been seeing for a few months now. Pretty girl. Fab body. Great big boobs. Quite intelligent. Anywho all of that is irrelevant.

I was in her gaff there a few weeks back, just before she was about to set off on a weeks holidays to Spain with some of her mates. So we were chatting away about what not, watching some TV, when money and wealth came into the conversation. She then turned to me and asked;

"Actually I think i'll do the Euro Millions when i'm there. I should have a better chance of winning it, shouldn't I"?



Now in fairness, 2-3 seconds after asking this, she declared "Actually, maybe not" in a slightly embarrassed tone. I didn't even turn my head from the TV to look at her in these few seconds.

From behind my palm-covered face, I was still trying to comprehend how she would have managed to even compute that she would have had a better chance of winning over there. I think I got a little embarrassed for her too, and just said "Ah, you're probably better not doing it at all, seeing as you're not a resident etc etc".
She replied, "Ya, you're probably right".

It was the best thing I could come up with to get away from the topic, as I was fit to burst into laughter. Now if I had burst into laughter, there certainly wouldn't have been any fun times to be had later on, so I had to get my priorities right!


Are there any ridiculous questions that stick out in your mind that you have been asked in the past?

I have had this kind of thing happen all the time with girls I have been seeing. It's a prime opportunity to have a giggle and when you laugh they get all cute mad... then it's tickle time... then it's sexy time. :-)

Dancor

Me: Can I have a pizza please, With pepperoni on one half.

Pizza man: Left or right?

the_syco

steppen wrote: »

A German once asked me if we had traffic lights in ireland.

Yes, a nice man with a small tache called Adolf came over and introduced them to us in 1947... :rolleyes::D

mikeystipey

grenache wrote: »

i work in an off-licence that also acts as a tourist office

Only in Ireland

Was on a flight back from a lads holiday and my mate's dozy mate asks how high do planes usually fly? About 30,000 feet one of us answered. Oh right says he, would there be any buildings as high as that? Or maybe the Great Wall of China?

He's been described as 'having a bit of a want in him'

grenache

weird wrote: »

I have had this kind of thing happen all the time with girls I have been seeing. It's a prime opportunity to have a giggle and when you laugh they get all cute mad... then it's tickle time... then it's sexy time. :-)

I had this happen a few weeks back. She repeatedly came out with incredibly stupid questions. Her decent looks couldn't make up for her less than decent brain. She got the boot. Stupidity will never be sexy, no matter how hard you try to laugh it off.

Fizman

the_syco wrote: »

Yes, a nice man with a small tache called Adolf came over and introduced them to us in 1947... :rolleyes::D

His ghost?

:pac:

mick867

A lady in the Luas car park asked me how long she could park her car for if she paid for 2 hours.

johnny_knoxvile

i was weight lifting in a gym a couple of years ago, and a spanner comes over to me and says "when was your last course?", i was lost, "what do you mean?" i asked. "your last course of steroids?"...he blurts out in the middle of a packed weights area. I told him i didnt take roids and he insisted on debating with me that you cant be in good shape without them and how he was taking them... Dont take drugs kids, they mess with your head (and in the case of roids, with you nads too!).