Leave early

petes · 31-07-2009 10:36AM #1

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?*

*And yes I have a job and lucky to have it

wudangclan · 31-07-2009 10:36AM

swine flu?
it's pretty topical at the moment.

Karoma · 31-07-2009 10:37AM

You left your imagination at home and really need it?

Cookie Jar · 31-07-2009 10:37AM

You think u are gettin swine flu

Rabies · 31-07-2009 10:40AM

Insurgent wrote: »

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?[/SIZE]

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

Nodin · 31-07-2009 10:40AM

Insurgent wrote: »

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?*

*And yes I have a job and lucky to have it

Depends. If you're a woman with a male boss try either (a) period or (b) urinary tract infection. He'll just make the sign of the cross and let you go. If you're a man just say the arse is tore off you with the scours.

AnonoBoy · 31-07-2009 10:41AM

Too hungover to work anymore?

It's so honest it just might work.

petes · 31-07-2009 10:45AM

Karoma wrote: »

You left your imagination at home and really need it?

Rabies wrote: »

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

They know I was out last night and I am dying. Feck it I might just do what Anonoboy said. Tell them I'm too hungover to work anymore!!

Dartz · 31-07-2009 10:45AM

Your (significant close relative) was just in a speedboating accident and might not make it through the night unless you leave at lunchtime to go on a quest to the top of Lugnaquilla for a single red rose of mystical healing powers.

OR just eat a roll out of a Statoil and give yourself food poisoning.

emeraldstar · 31-07-2009 10:51AM

Rabies wrote: »

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

That is exactly what my kerraaaazy imagination came up with too!

bm365 · 31-07-2009 10:52AM

What you could do is if your boss just monitors you on a security camera then connect the camera up to old videos of you working. I got that idea from a movie I saw about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

petes · 31-07-2009 11:01AM

bm365 wrote: »

What you could do is if your boss just monitors you on a security camera then connect the camera up to old videos of you working. I got that idea from a movie I saw about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I see what you did there!

Fink Goddie · 31-07-2009 11:04AM

Tell them you have the squits!

petes · 31-07-2009 11:06AM

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Tell them you have the squits!

That doesn't work (like me), they would just say stay and use the facilities.

That said I'm going to head at lunchtime regardless!!

Fink Goddie · 31-07-2009 11:11AM

Insurgent wrote: »

That doesn't work (like me), they would just say stay and use the facilities.

That said I'm going to head at lunchtime regardless!![/quote]

Lightweight :pac::D

aido179 · 31-07-2009 11:28AM

shout HOLY SHIT! and run towards the toilet, stumble a bit and fall against something upright as if you've lost all you balance. run into the toilet and repeatedly make wretching noises. emerge after a couple minutes with some water splashed on your forehead (sweat).. slowly walk back to your desk. sit and stare blankly at a wall for a while then stand and ask very politely to go home, you feel ill

Hells Belle · 31-07-2009 11:43AM

aido179 wrote: »

shout HOLY SHIT! and run towards the toilet, stumble a bit and fall against something upright as if you've lost all you balance. run into the toilet and repeatedly make wretching noises. emerge after a couple minutes with some water splashed on your forehead (sweat).. slowly walk back to your desk. sit and stare blankly at a wall for a while then stand and ask very politely to go home, you feel ill

I actually did something like this after I managed to nearly scalp myself with the hand dryer picking up a fag I'd dropped in on the loo floor (classy I know), I puked in the bin and boss insisted on bringing me to the docs where I got an injection in the arse and a week off SCORE!!*

*Although mybe not the same cause I was actually hurt....

petes · 31-07-2009 11:51AM

Fink Goddie wrote:

Lightweight :pac::D

I never said what I was going to do when I leave at lunchtime!!

Kiera · 31-07-2009 11:55AM

Tut tut tut, drinking on a school night is bold! Do you want to lose your job? You are heading the right way..... If i was your boss i'd make you stay to punish you!

petes · 31-07-2009 11:57AM

Kiera wrote: »

Tut tut tut, drinking on a school night is bold! Do you want to lose your job? You are heading the right way..... If i was your boss i'd make you stay to punish you!

My job is fine thank you very much mammy!

wobbles-grogan · 31-07-2009 11:59AM

Its only a hangover, drink some water or orange juice or something, you'll be fine!

If you really do want to go home i have a cunning plan that works quite well.

Ill let you know, only cos im really nice though.

If your boss likes aniimals alot (be they a cat or dog or whatever) then tell him that you got a phone call saying your beloved dog (or cat, rat whatever) got ran over by a car! You've had him for the past 10 years, was given to you by your <cough>dead<cough> cousiin and he's your last remaining memory of your dead cousin!

I got out of soooo much homework when i was back in school with that!

Hagar · 31-07-2009 11:59AM

Anal myopia. I can't see myself getting my ass back here after lunch.

dumbblonde122 · 31-07-2009 11:59AM

Insurgent wrote: »

I never said what I was going to do when I leave at lunchtime!!

What are you doing when you leave?

The Davestator · 31-07-2009 12:00PM

Do a big stretch & yawn and then let out an almighty yelp and say that your after locking your arm over your head and therefore cant type.

(you will have to keep your arm in that position 'till ya get home though)

Kiera · 31-07-2009 12:01PM

Insurgent wrote: »

My job is fine thank you very much mammy!

We'll see after today

TestTransmission · 31-07-2009 12:05PM

Have a sneaky pint or two at Lunch OP,will sort ya out

WeeBushy · 31-07-2009 12:13PM

Tell him you've got the clap. He'd have to believe you, no one would lie about that.

up them Schteps · 31-07-2009 12:18PM

I feel your pain, had a night out to console myself after not getting tickets for U2, ended up in Coppers till 3am, work the next day at 8.30! Ploughed on though! Made it to 4.45 successfully!

petes · 31-07-2009 12:31PM

Kiera wrote: »

We'll see after today

I'll be happily posting here on Tuesday morning from work. I may even post over the weekend!

genericguy · 31-07-2009 12:44PM

do what ed norton did with his boss in fight club.

Rabies · 31-07-2009 01:03PM

Insurgent wrote: »

They know I was out last night and I am dying. Feck it I might just do what Anonoboy said. Tell them I'm too hungover to work anymore!!

If you're hungover, then tough fvcking sh!t. Self inflicted, deal with it.

Leave early

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