Leave early

petes

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?*




*And yes I have a job and lucky to have it

wudangclan

swine flu?
it's pretty topical at the moment.

Karoma

You left your imagination at home and really need it?

Cookie Jar

You think u are gettin swine flu

Rabies

Insurgent wrote: »

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?[/SIZE]

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

Nodin

Insurgent wrote: »

I am in bits here at work and I sooo need to leave at lunchtime. What excuse can I use?*




*And yes I have a job and lucky to have it

Depends. If you're a woman with a male boss try either (a) period or (b) urinary tract infection. He'll just make the sign of the cross and let you go. If you're a man just say the arse is tore off you with the scours.

AnonoBoy

Too hungover to work anymore?

It's so honest it just might work.

petes

Karoma wrote: »

You left your imagination at home and really need it?

Rabies wrote: »

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

They know I was out last night and I am dying. Feck it I might just do what Anonoboy said. Tell them I'm too hungover to work anymore!!

Dartz

Your (significant close relative) was just in a speedboating accident and might not make it through the night unless you leave at lunchtime to go on a quest to the top of Lugnaquilla for a single red rose of mystical healing powers.

OR just eat a roll out of a Statoil and give yourself food poisoning.

emeraldstar

Rabies wrote: »

Crazy suggestion, but why not say you feel really sick and need to go home

That is exactly what my kerraaaazy imagination came up with too!

bm365

What you could do is if your boss just monitors you on a security camera then connect the camera up to old videos of you working. I got that idea from a movie I saw about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

petes

bm365 wrote: »

What you could do is if your boss just monitors you on a security camera then connect the camera up to old videos of you working. I got that idea from a movie I saw about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

I see what you did there!

Fink Goddie

Tell them you have the squits!

petes

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Tell them you have the squits!

That doesn't work (like me), they would just say stay and use the facilities.

That said I'm going to head at lunchtime regardless!!

Fink Goddie

Insurgent wrote: »

That doesn't work (like me), they would just say stay and use the facilities.

That said I'm going to head at lunchtime regardless!![/quote]

Lightweight :pac::D

aido179

shout HOLY SHIT! and run towards the toilet, stumble a bit and fall against something upright as if you've lost all you balance. run into the toilet and repeatedly make wretching noises. emerge after a couple minutes with some water splashed on your forehead (sweat).. slowly walk back to your desk. sit and stare blankly at a wall for a while then stand and ask very politely to go home, you feel ill

Hells Belle

aido179 wrote: »

shout HOLY SHIT! and run towards the toilet, stumble a bit and fall against something upright as if you've lost all you balance. run into the toilet and repeatedly make wretching noises. emerge after a couple minutes with some water splashed on your forehead (sweat).. slowly walk back to your desk. sit and stare blankly at a wall for a while then stand and ask very politely to go home, you feel ill

I actually did something like this after I managed to nearly scalp myself with the hand dryer picking up a fag I'd dropped in on the loo floor (classy I know), I puked in the bin and boss insisted on bringing me to the docs where I got an injection in the arse and a week off SCORE!!*

*Although mybe not the same cause I was actually hurt....

petes

Fink Goddie wrote:

Lightweight :pac::D

I never said what I was going to do when I leave at lunchtime!!

Kiera

Tut tut tut, drinking on a school night is bold! Do you want to lose your job? You are heading the right way..... If i was your boss i'd make you stay to punish you!

petes

Kiera wrote: »

Tut tut tut, drinking on a school night is bold! Do you want to lose your job? You are heading the right way..... If i was your boss i'd make you stay to punish you!

My job is fine thank you very much mammy!

wobbles-grogan

Its only a hangover, drink some water or orange juice or something, you'll be fine!

If you really do want to go home i have a cunning plan that works quite well.

Ill let you know, only cos im really nice though.

If your boss likes aniimals alot (be they a cat or dog or whatever) then tell him that you got a phone call saying your beloved dog (or cat, rat whatever) got ran over by a car! You've had him for the past 10 years, was given to you by your <cough>dead<cough> cousiin and he's your last remaining memory of your dead cousin!

I got out of soooo much homework when i was back in school with that!

Hagar

Anal myopia. I can't see myself getting my ass back here after lunch.

dumbblonde122

Insurgent wrote: »

I never said what I was going to do when I leave at lunchtime!!

What are you doing when you leave?

The Davestator

Do a big stretch & yawn and then let out an almighty yelp and say that your after locking your arm over your head and therefore cant type.

(you will have to keep your arm in that position 'till ya get home though)

Kiera

Insurgent wrote: »

My job is fine thank you very much mammy!

We'll see after today

TestTransmission

Have a sneaky pint or two at Lunch OP,will sort ya out

WeeBushy

Tell him you've got the clap. He'd have to believe you, no one would lie about that.

up them Schteps

I feel your pain, had a night out to console myself after not getting tickets for U2, ended up in Coppers till 3am, work the next day at 8.30! Ploughed on though! Made it to 4.45 successfully!

petes

Kiera wrote: »

We'll see after today

I'll be happily posting here on Tuesday morning from work. I may even post over the weekend!

genericguy

do what ed norton did with his boss in fight club.

Rabies

Insurgent wrote: »

They know I was out last night and I am dying. Feck it I might just do what Anonoboy said. Tell them I'm too hungover to work anymore!!

If you're hungover, then tough fvcking sh!t. Self inflicted, deal with it.

beertons

Pretend you have the scuts, and turtle head came out when you were on route to the bog, and the 'turtle coughed.'

You'll be home by 2.

petes

Rabies wrote: »

If you're hungover, then tough fvcking sh!t. Self inflicted, deal with it.

I am dealing with it. I'm leaving early. If you don't like that then tough shit.

truecrippler

Dartz wrote: »

Your (significant close relative) was just in a speedboating accident and might not make it through the night unless you leave at lunchtime to go on a quest to the top of Lugnaquilla for a single red rose of mystical healing powers.

OR just eat a roll out of a Statoil and give yourself food poisoning.

Lies!!! I've been up there and there's only grass, mud and skeletons hikers.

Rabies

Insurgent wrote: »

I am dealing with it. I'm leaving early. If you don't like that then tough shit.

I don't like it, nor to i like a tough ****. The stretching isn't good for my anus.

Its a hangover. Work through it.

Kiera

Rabies wrote: »

I don't like it, nor to i like a tough ****. The stretching isn't good for my anus.

Its a hangover. Work through it.

Thought you'd be used to that?

petes

Rabies wrote: »

I don't like it, nor to i like a tough ****. The stretching isn't good for my anus.

Its a hangover. Work through it.

To be honest man I normally would but apart from the tiredness I just have no interest in being here today.

Plus I'm going to meet my ex. Not sure if that's a good idea.

Saibh

Insurgent wrote: »

To be honest man I normally would but apart from the tiredness I just have no interest in being here today.

Plus I'm going to meet my ex. Not sure if that's a good idea.

You can't be that tired, you are able to start a thread, type a few replies...

Go and get something to eat and tough it out for another while.

wobbles-grogan

Goin to meet your ex? I dounbt internet forums are the best place to divulge this information!

Im guessin your not gone home yet if your still posting?

ScumLord

Piss your pants, a classic from the school days that's just as useful in adult life. It's a guaranteed fact you'll be asked to go home rather than having to ask them yourself.

dilallio

Next time you're hungover, don't go to work.
Pick a name from the obituaries in the Indo, call your boss and leave a message that you have to attend your 2nd cousin's <insert name> funeral.

Hellrazer

dilallio wrote: »

Next time you're hungover, don't go to work.
Pick a name from the obituaries in the Indo, call your boss and leave a message that you have to attend your 2nd cousin's <insert name> funeral.

Doesnt work--I did that a few years back and it turned out my boss knew the same person and was on his way to the funeral.Ended up having to go to a funeral for someone I didnt even know.Talk about caught by the b**lox

Turd Ferguson

Tell them that your head fell off and you need to go home to sow it back on. You cannot do this over the phone, it needs to be in person. If your boss brings up the fact that your head is still attatched to your body just shout "STOP SAYING I'M FAT!!!!" and run out of the office

Rabies

Kiera wrote: »

Thought you'd be used to that?

thats the last time i invite you around to mine :eek: