Homeless excuses

Tallon · 25-07-2009 11:20PM #1

Right, so I'm at the kings of concrete comp today and while im munchin away on a burger, this chungfella comes up to me with the most imaginative story

"aright bud, listen, i just locked myself out of my mini cooper sport around the corner and ive called my sister because she has the spare key. can you spare €2 so that I can phone her and tell her where the car is parked because shes on the way in now and doesnt know where in Dublin i am"

Now as you can see, there are a couple of loop holes in the story.
Firstly, a man wouldnt drive a mini cooper.
Secondly, if he rang his sister already, why does he need to call her again & where did he call her from in the first place?
Thirdly, the chap was clearly pissed, like flaggin of cider pissed
Fourthly, 5mins prior as I was ordering my burger, i seen the chap rob a few sausages that were litterally on the cooker 17seconds, and eat them!
Fifthly, the chap had so many tracks on his arm that the luas nearly merged with him on the way by.

What I wanna know is what ever happend to the aul, "howaya bud, im homeless, i'd love a cup of tea / few cans, any spare change?"

I used to lash people any change I had, because at the end of the day, I have everything I want, if I dont, I go out and buy it.
But now when you get approched by the same guy 3 times on your short trip around the big smoke and he gives you 3 differnet, ever more varied, ever more imagined excuses, It just P!sses me off. Does this make me a bad person? You decide!

25-07-2009 11:26PM

"Just gimme the money" is all their short of now.
That was a good creative one though

duckysauce · 25-07-2009 11:27PM

I have everything I want, if I dont, I go out and buy it. jayus

yep makes you sound like a tool alright

galwayrush · 25-07-2009 11:29PM

You should have asked him if he accepted visa.;)

Mr Benevolent · 25-07-2009 11:33PM

galwayrush wrote: »

You should have asked him if he accepted visa.;)

Nah. No-one wants to see a junkie drop his pants and bend over.

Armin_Tamzarian · 25-07-2009 11:35PM

TBH I would have give him the €2.
Very refreshing to see a bum putting some effort into his stories.
Shame on you for not coughing up OP, especially seeing as how you have everything you want.

soundsham · 25-07-2009 11:36PM

lucky he didn't crack you over the head and rob your wallet and phone

Super-Rush · 25-07-2009 11:38PM

have ya got 2 euroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

CreepingDeath · 25-07-2009 11:44PM

Tallon wrote: »

Does this make me a bad person? You decide!

Charity is overrated and counter-productive to evolution and natural selection.

Ponster · 25-07-2009 11:52PM

Sorry for asking a serious question In AH on a Sat night but do people who beg in Ireland actually say how much they would like to receive? i.e. "2 euro" ????

Super-Rush · 25-07-2009 11:56PM

Ponster wrote: »

Sorry for asking a serious question In AH on a Sat night but do people who beg in Ireland actually say how much they would like to receive? i.e. "2 euro" ????

Serious answer, yes they do. It usually goes ' Can i have 2 euroooooo for a cup of tea/something to eat/make a call/the bus'

yoursaviour1989 · 26-07-2009 12:04AM

a junkie once asked me for €2 ta get the bus ta town ta go ta jail coz the police had told her too...
make of that what you will

Fluorescence · 26-07-2009 12:05AM

No I don't think you're a bad person...

I was on holiday in the U.S.A. recently, and I saw one homeless chap sitting on the street with a cardboard sign that said, "I'm not going to lie - need money for cigs and booze." People were giving him loads because they liked his style and found it amusing. :rolleyes:

ScumLord · 26-07-2009 12:06AM

Tallon wrote: »

Firstly, a man wouldnt drive a mini cooper.

Even though the mini cooper is an animal of a car unfit for any woman to drive there is this thing called homosexuality.

Secondly, if he rang his sister already, why does he need to call her again & where did he call her from in the first place?

A phone box, someone else's phone.

Thirdly, the chap was clearly pissed, like flaggin of cider pissed

Show me someone who isn't pissed, In fact he sounds like a stand up guy being pissed and asking his sis to come and collect him so he doesn't have to drive. I'd say he planned that though.

Fourthly, 5mins prior as I was ordering my burger, i seen the chap rob a few sausages that were litterally on the cooker 17seconds, and eat them!

He broke into the chipper and robbed uncooked sausages?

I think your sullying the good name of this fine upstanding citizen. Shame on you! Shame indeed sir!

Tallon · 26-07-2009 12:06AM

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

TBH I would have give him the €2.
Very refreshing to see a bum putting some effort into his stories.
Shame on you for not coughing up OP, especially seeing as how you have everything you want.

I actually gave him €3+ shrapnal

Bet you feel like an ass now, huh?

Toasty113 · 26-07-2009 12:18AM

Ive got a friend who once let a homeless guy stay at his house caus he thought his sign was funny. Thats a lesson for all the homeless out there (who are somehow on the internet), get creative and you'll get more!

Ivona Tinkle · 26-07-2009 12:21AM

About 5 years ago I seen a homeless man on the ha'penny bridge with a sign "all proceeds go to fund my alcohol addiction"

To my shame I laughed at him and walked by:(, the man was being honest and I feel like I should have thrown him a few bob and not laughed at him

Yes I feel guilty the man stuck in my mind and I cant forget it:o:(

if I ever see him again Ill buy him a bottle of whiskey

GLaDOS · 26-07-2009 12:32AM

fluorescence wrote: »

No I don't think you're a bad person...

I was on holiday in the U.S.A. recently, and I saw one homeless chap sitting on the street with a cardboard sign that said, "I'm not going to lie - need money for cigs and booze." People were giving him loads because they liked his style and found it amusing. :rolleyes:

Reminds me of this

The_Minister · 26-07-2009 01:00AM

ScumLord wrote: »

Even though the mini cooper is an animal of a car unfit for any woman to drive there is this thing called homosexuality.

...............

He broke into the chipper and robbed uncooked sausages?

Hee hee.

I'm so tired that that seemed funny

patrickc · 26-07-2009 01:03AM

homeless people rock simple as

AlkalineAcid · 26-07-2009 02:26AM

Some of the posts here remind me of this.

ThenComesDudley · 26-07-2009 02:43AM

i dunno op i was at the KoC today, and some guy was tearing up the hill (handel st?) where Karma is, onto Dame st in a Mini Cooper, maybe he was telling the truth?

Kernel · 26-07-2009 04:01AM

Ivona Tinkle wrote: »

About 5 years ago I seen a homeless man on the ha'penny bridge with a sign "all proceeds go to fund my alcohol addiction"

To my shame I laughed at him and walked by:(, the man was being honest and I feel like I should have thrown him a few bob and not laughed at him

Yes I feel guilty the man stuck in my mind and I cant forget it:o:(

if I ever see him again Ill buy him a bottle of whiskey

Ah I remember that fella, a regular character. Yeah, he died on the ha'penny bridge around 5 years ago. Froze to death as far as I remember. Doctors said his last words were 'why did they laugh at me, why.... whyyyyy?'. They reckon a cup of tea or a few pence would have saved him.

To the OP: You're soft, and encouraging these pains in the arse. Did he intimidate you on some level? Try saying 'no, I don't give money away'. It's liberating!

26-07-2009 04:07AM

Tallon wrote: »

the chap had so many tracks on his arm that the luas nearly merged with him on the way by.

defo gonna steal that ta make a few new friends in the next few weeks :cool:

Collie D · 26-07-2009 11:32AM

Tallon wrote: »

Right, so I'm at the kings of concrete comp today and while im munchin away on a burger, this chungfella comes up to me with the most imaginative story

"aright bud, listen, i just locked myself out of my mini cooper sport around the corner and ive called my sister because she has the spare key. can you spare €2 so that I can phone her and tell her where the car is parked because shes on the way in now and doesnt know where in Dublin i am"

Seriously?

Caoimhín · 26-07-2009 11:44AM

I met a homeless guy off Grafton Street the other morning, bought him coffee and bread.
I got talking to him, poor chap from Engerland, out of work and not entitled to any benefit. Sooo, i got talking to him and in the end he had to make up an excuse to leave because i was boring the head off him, droning on about the state of the economy.

Handsome Bob · 26-07-2009 12:49PM

I always give homeless people any spare change I have, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like. These days there are a good few that feel ashamed about sitting on the ground begging and I'm not going to hold that against them. If someone comes up to me and says "Sorry mate can I have 2 euro for the bus, I've no change" I'll just say no bother and give them the 2 euro. You can tell by their appearance that they are homeless or at least going through a rough time, so I'm not going to be a wanker and give them the 3rd degree about it.

Collie D · 26-07-2009 12:52PM

LZ5by5 wrote: »

If someone comes up to me and says "Sorry mate can I have 2 euro for the bus, I've no change" I'll just say no bother and give them the 2 euro. You can tell by their appearance that they are homeless or at least going through a rough time, so I'm not going to be a wanker and give them the 3rd degree about it.

I'm the opposite. If somebody asks me for change for bus/train/phone call because their car broke down they won't get a cent. I don't like people assuming I am thick enough to believe their lies.

Handsome Bob · 26-07-2009 12:57PM

Collie D wrote: »

I'm the opposite. If somebody asks me for change for bus/train/phone call because their car broke down they won't get a cent. I don't like people assuming I am thick enough to believe their lies.

What's it to me if some bloke I'll most likely never see again thinks he pulled the wool over my eyes, all for the sake of €2?

Collie D · 26-07-2009 01:00PM

LZ5by5 wrote: »

What's it to me if some bloke I'll most likely never see again thinks he pulled the wool over my eyes, all for the sake of €2?

Fair enough. I just have a thing about being lied to/people assuming I am thick enough to fall for their bull****. Nigerian emails really piss me off

DamoDLK · 26-07-2009 01:28PM

LZ5by5 wrote: »

What's it to me if some bloke I'll most likely never see again thinks he pulled the wool over my eyes, all for the sake of €2?

When i was in uni, down the country, i'd be going home at the weekend via Connolly station, the same bloke every week would be there asking for 2euro, as he cant afford his train ticket. It would have been less obvious that he was tapping if he just took the 2quid, and left, but no! he asks others in the queue for the same, he never got a cent off me again...

Homeless excuses

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