boy manners or just manners in general?

ciagr297 · 29-05-2009 01:26PM #1

ladies - not sure if this is a specific thing to boys, so i am just putting it out there as a boy problem.
when i send my brother or male friends a text with a question, i expect a reply...or is it just me being silly? am i supposed to assume no reply is no?

like i said my brother has been doing this for a while and it irritates the bejebus out of me.

i was under the impression that it is just good manners that if someone invites you to do something(like a beer with other friends/buy a poor student lunch etc) that you rsvp. my expectations are simple - either yes or no. but i do expect a reply either way

i know there are legit causes for not replying, but an acknowledgement at some point!

when i've tried to bring this up with my brother (whom i used to live with) and he completely dismisses me as "over reacting" or "you are such a woman"

firstly, when did manners become gender specific? and also, why is it that i find this sort of thing more common with my male friends?

topper75 · 29-05-2009 01:38PM

Strange thing how women seem to love texting more than men.

As a man - I hate texting and can't explain it properly. I lose the will to live half way through typing a response and usually give up, curse the phone keypad, and call the person instead. In all other respects though, I would say I'm 'tech savvy'.

Phone calls are way better. Text used to make sense when tarriffs for calls were higher. Nowadays texts are a total pain.

I do ignore a lot of texts I receive cos it is just time consuming. It may seem rude but texts in themselves can have a rude angle to them in that you weren't bothered making the call! :pac:

Give them a call if it is important.

Otis Driftwood · 29-05-2009 01:40PM

I would usually always reply to a question/query but there are times when I just couldnt be arsed too like if someone text and asked did I go out last night etc.However if asked am I going out tonight I would always respond.

ciagr297 · 29-05-2009 02:08PM

yes i agree that if its really important, calling is the best.

i've always viewed texting as less intrusive than calls.....and you can lie alot faster on them as well

i do take my time replying if its not something immediate, but always reply

i find it rude for someone to totally not acknowledge that you have invited them to an event or something, it just smacks of you're-not-worth-it

stovelid · 29-05-2009 02:17PM

It's really rude not to reply to a text that is arranging a meeting.

I do have some male friends that basically signal a No by just not answering which drives me batshit, but I'm not sure it's a gender thing because most of my male friends would give the courtesy of a reply.

ciagr297 · 29-05-2009 02:20PM

stovelid wrote: »

It's really rude not to reply to a text that is arranging a meeting.

I do have some male friends that basically signal a No by just not answering which drives me batshit, but I'm not sure it's a gender thing because most of my male friends would give the courtesy of a reply.

have you ever tried to bring it up with them? like if annoys you as much as it annoys me.

shellyboo · 29-05-2009 02:40PM

I never reply to big group "I'm having a party, blah" texts unless I'm going. I figure it's the same as getting an invite in the post, I wouldn't sit down and write a reply and post it...

If the person asks me to RSVP for numbers, I'll reply - but otherwise I wouldn't. I'd find it rude if I text someone one-on-one and they didn't reply, for whatever reason. I wouldn't get annoyed about it though.

Doctor DooM · 29-05-2009 02:49PM

ciagr297 wrote: »

ladies - not sure if this is a specific thing to boys

I find it interesting that you refer to women as ladies and men as boys... maybe it's the fellas you're hanging around with.

Anywho, it depends on volume. I know some women I simply cannot keep up with the amount of texts they like to send.

Also, if I am in work, or I am out lunching/drinking whatever with others, answering texts can come accross as rude or even irresponsible.

To be honest alot of the time I am just so busy by the time I remember a text it is irrelevant.

Texting is no medium to discuss anything important anyway. You have no read reciept worth a damn. If you want to get your message accross, ring. This way you will be able to confirm the message is recieved or not.

challengemaster · 29-05-2009 02:58PM

I'll generally reply to most texts...unless I just don't feel like talking to someone for whatever reason.

However, If I reply saying 'Im not going out tonight' and get back 'why not, blah blah blah'

I'll probably stop replying

stovelid · 29-05-2009 03:42PM

ciagr297 wrote: »

have you ever tried to bring it up with them? like if annoys you as much as it annoys me.

On a few occasions, but you know, it usually just ends up in an argument, and the need for a quiet life takes over.

I guess you get to read the signal, and know what the non-reply means, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.

Malari · 29-05-2009 03:46PM

ciagr297 wrote: »

firstly, when did manners become gender specific? and also, why is it that i find this sort of thing more common with my male friends?

I think it's person-specific, not gender-specific.

My brother is useless too. I don't expect chatty answers, but when I ask if he needs a lift somewhere (he doesn't drive) or if he's available for a family dinner or something and he doesn't reply it does my head in! He's not in the same country as me, so it's not like I'm pestering him every weekend :mad:

Fighting Irish · 29-05-2009 03:48PM

I'll reply to a question or a request or whatever, but don't expect me to waste my money texting you back if you're just telling me something, unless you're on meteor or really hot

Chucky the tree · 29-05-2009 03:54PM

Unless it's got my name on it, I won't reply.

Permabear · 29-05-2009 06:49PM

This post has been deleted.

29-05-2009 08:10PM

I sometimes text a bit to have a chat with a friend, then ignore it for days
sounds like jsut lack of manners in general there, OP

The_Conductor · 29-05-2009 08:48PM

I loose the will to live when I have to reply to a text. Even my mother gets pissed off with me- I simply hate texting. If someone wants information from me- they accept they have to ring me (or curiously- e-mail me). I've gone to bizarre lengths to try to make replying to the odd text less of a chore for me- every phone I've gotten in the past 10 years has had a full qwerty keyboad- I had one of the very first Nokia Communicators in the country. Nope- don't text me- ring me if you want a response.

Orla K · 30-05-2009 10:53AM

I'm in the same situation except the roles are switched. My brother is always giving out to me for not texting back or answering calls. What normally happens is I wander off and leave it behind, takes me ages to realise that I don't have it and it can be hours until I have it again I normally come back to abusive texts from him giving out so at that point I won't answer/reply.

But then again I also just don't like typing out texts or talking to my brother (he normally just gives out about something).

I think I got into the habit of ringing people when I dropped my phone(screen stopped working) and couldn't get a new one for afew months, it was really annoying when people sent me texts(either had to send them a mystery text or figure out who it was so I could ring them) and I still have that feeling of dread when I see a text.

I don't know why people don't ring more instead of text, it's much easier, probably cheaper, quicker and most importantly less effort.

boy manners or just manners in general?

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