Do transgendered people have a moral obligation to disclose their previous gender?

The_Minister · 20-04-2009 02:04PM #1

As it says on the tin, and inspired by another message board.
We did a similar enough thread a while ago (I think it was "would you date a transgender"), but I don't think we covered the ethical side.

Quite a number of guys stated that they would have a serious problem if they found out that the woman who they had slept with was actually a man. I've heard people say that it would sicken them, and would "**** them up". There have even been murder cases where a "trans panic" (similar to gay panic) defence has been advanced, although I don't believe that it has ever been successful.

So the question is: "Given that discovering post-coitus that they have had sex with a transgendered man (post-operative) can be traumatic for men, do transgendered people have an obligation to reveal their real gender prior to intercourse (or even just kissing)? Or do the rights of privacy, and their right to live as their new gender, trump that concern? Is it a case of what they don't know can't hurt them?"

EDIT: I went looking for the thread I was thinking of, and all I could find was the Lydia Foy one - I think we discussed it in that thread.

2nd EDIT: And is there any moral similarities with not telling someone that you are married?

Stercus Accidit · 20-04-2009 02:07PM

Find a little something extra last night you didn't expect OP?

The_Minister · 20-04-2009 02:11PM

No, this thread is being discussed on another message board.

sneakerfreak · 20-04-2009 02:11PM

yes OP you do.

Vain · 20-04-2009 02:13PM

The_Minister wrote: »

No, this thread is being discussed on another message board.

Ya ya sure it is:rolleyes:

PeakOutput · 20-04-2009 02:13PM

they should defo tell them before anything happens

fine they believe that they are a woman born in a mans body they were still born in a mans body and someone who is potentially going to be sleeping with them has the right to know that

Mr.Lizard · 20-04-2009 02:14PM

What do you mean 'previous gender'?

They're still whatever gender were before, only now with mutilated genitals.

WindSock · 20-04-2009 02:15PM

Good question. I find the whole transgendered thing to be something that deserves to be talked about a bit more. While I understand that a person wishes for society to accept them as the gender of their choice, I think it would be unfair to assume everyone they see sexually would be ok with the fact that they now look like a woman/man, when they haven't always been that way.

javaboy · 20-04-2009 02:16PM

Having consistently scored 10/10 on both Arse or Elbow? and Chick or Dick?, I can happily say it wouldn't matter. I'd figure it out anyway. For those less gifted individuals, I think it's only fair to tell them. If it's enough to turn them off a relationship, then they aren't exactly compatible anyway.

The_Minister · 20-04-2009 02:17PM

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

What do you mean 'previous gender'? They're still whatever they were before, only now with mutilated genitals.

I know, I know, but as a courtesy I tend to acknowledge the fact that they believe that they are another gender. I don't go out of my way to be extra nice or careful with my pronouns, but I try not to cause unnecessary insult.

The_Minister · 20-04-2009 02:18PM

Vain wrote: »

Ya ya sure it is:rolleyes:

Here

ShooterSF · 20-04-2009 02:20PM

Feck that. I think women should be made admit to wearing wonder bras.

0ubliette · 20-04-2009 02:21PM

Youd probably notice they werent actually female when you see the mangled inside out penis passing for a vag

on a completely unrelated topic, check out this hot chick!!

*NSFW* http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/465/04zp5.jpg

Nick_oliveri · 20-04-2009 02:26PM

0ubliette wrote: »

on a completely unrelated topic
*NSFW* http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/465/04zp5.jpg

Unrelated because "shes" TS and not TG?
Oh, did i spoil that for ya?

Hazys · 20-04-2009 02:51PM

TS, TG i dont really like that its becoming more of a norm & common in society i.e. u wouldnt have heard about TS, TG people 50 years ago as much as you would now and in 50 years how normal & acceptable will it be in society?

I dont want to put anybody down by writting this, as people can live their lives whatever way they want as long as they are not hurting anybody else. But i just want to know will you ever be able to draw the line? In 50 years will trans-species people exist i.e. a person who is a cow trapped in a man's body and has surgeries to change into a cow (a wild example i know :pac:) will something crazy like that be acceptable? (id say if you told people 50 years ago that people could have surgery to change their sex they'd think its as crazy as the man-cow thing is to us).

I dont think there is much you can do, as when the first cow-man exists in 2059, we'll have to treat that 'person' with the same respect as any human...or would we just light up a barbie and have a few burgers?

Will society be a total mental place in 50-100 years if TG, TS people are starting to be considered normal now?

The_Minister · 20-04-2009 02:53PM

Hazys wrote: »

I dont want to put anybody down by writting this, as people can live their lives whatever way they want as long as they are not hurting anybody else. But i just want to know will you ever be able to draw the line? In 50 years will trans-species people exist i.e. a person who is a cow trapped in a man's body and has surgeries to change into a cow (a wild example i know :pac:) will something crazy like that be acceptable? (id say if you told people 50 years ago that people could have surgery to change their sex they'd think its as crazy as the man-cow thing is to us).

I dont think there is much you can do, as when the first cow-man exists in 2059, we'll have to treat that 'person' with the same respect as any human...or would we just light up a barbie and have a few burgers?

Popular culture fail - you should have said dolphin.

Mr.Lizard · 20-04-2009 02:54PM

Do you have some fetish for cow-men? I'm reading into it that you do.

Hazys · 20-04-2009 02:57PM

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

Do you have some fetish for cow-men? I'm reading into it that you do.

No i have more a fetish for people who are half man/half lizard...but its a pity u never get to meet these type of people

pablomakaveli · 20-04-2009 02:59PM

I'm surprised the ol' "every hole's a goal" line has'nt come up.

Turd Ferguson · 20-04-2009 03:06PM

Long term, yes I think they should say. As far as a 1 night stand goes, its probably best left unsaid. I would much rather be in the dark and think eveything was cool than to get a text from some "chick" along the lines of 'remember wen we had sex?well i used 2 hav a dick nd it was bigger den urs.lol'

WindSock · 20-04-2009 03:17PM

Hazys wrote: »

But i just want to know will you ever be able to draw the line? In 50 years will trans-species people exist i.e. a person who is a cow trapped in a man's body and has surgeries to change into a cow (a wild example i know :pac:)

You obviously haven't met Tiger Cat Man Dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adEjmXZOBnA

WindSock · 20-04-2009 03:19PM

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

Do you have some fetish for cow-men? I'm reading into it that you do.

Cowboys perhaps?

Morlar · 20-04-2009 03:33PM

I think any potential partner should always have the right to know & not just at the point of getting into bed either.

If it is really no big deal to all involved then whats the problem with being honest ?

Whether you support this kind of surgery or not it's not exactly a parking ticket you would be admitting to & if the sex-change person honestly thought their partner would be cool with it then there should be no issue clearing that one right up from the outset. It would be plain deceitful not to mention it.

ahara · 20-04-2009 03:38PM

They have a moral obligation to tell, doubly so if they happen to keep their former mickey pickled in jar and keep it around the house. The shock of finding that could easily kill their partner.

Lobelia Overhill · 20-04-2009 03:47PM

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

What do you mean 'previous gender'? They're still whatever gender were before, only now with mutilated genitals.

scientifically/medically speaking, that's incorrect. Transgendered people have the chromosome (XX or XY) of one gender and the sex organs of the other gender, or -in some cases- the genitalia of both genders. In very rare cases a child is born with no obvious genitalia (and are usually raised as a girl). It's all to do with embryos being female until the testosterone does/doesn't kick in, and occasionally the presence of a twin foetus that doesn't develop and some other chemical stuff that I can't remember ...

I tells ye having a friend who was a TG was a bloody eye opener ...

"You're a MAN?!?!?!?!?!"

"pre op transgendered actually"

"wha'?"

*long winded explanation*

'he' didn't have an adam's apple, or a trouser snake to speak of ... Lost contact years ago, heard she had the op eventually.

But to answer the Q, yes I think you should tell a partner these things.

me-skywalker · 20-04-2009 03:52PM

no they shouldnt tell because... they should have their eyes torn out of their sockets so they cant see nature as how its suppose to be.

Mr.Lizard · 20-04-2009 03:59PM

WindSock wrote: »

Cowboys perhaps?

No! Cowmen not cowboys. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's not a paedophile.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 20-04-2009 03:59PM

Yes, they should. Even in a one night stand as it could be pointed out to the person who sleeps with them at a later stage by someone else.

Mr.Lizard · 20-04-2009 04:02PM

How about on a speed-date?

Morlar · 20-04-2009 04:07PM

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

How about on a speed-date?

It would be an even speedier date if they do tell the truth.

SeekUp · 20-04-2009 04:13PM

The_Minister wrote: »

"Given that discovering post-coitus that they have had sex with a transgendered man (post-operative) can be traumatic for men, do transgendered people have an obligation to reveal their real gender prior to intercourse (or even just kissing)? Or do the rights of privacy, and their right to live as their new gender, trump that concern? Is it a case of what they don't know can't hurt them?"

And is there any moral similarities with not telling someone that you are married?

Do they have an obligation to? No. Look, if you're with someone long-term, hopefully you'd feel close enough to them to share something as big as that. But if you're just getting into it with someone who is attracted to you for who you are, right now, at this point in time, then it's up to you how much you want to disclose.

As far as the moral similarities re: marriage, this is no way the same thing to me. In one instance, you're breaking a vow. In the other instance, you're hiding something about your past. And let's be honest -- We omit truths all the time when it comes to people we sleep with, whether it be about age, what we like, what we do for a living, whether or not we have a criminal record . . .

Do transgendered people have a moral obligation to disclose their previous gender?

Do transgendered people have a moral obligation to disclose their previous gender? 142 votes

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