Too much Wine?

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:17PM #1

I'm wondering are there any other 'wino's' out there like me? Before I go on, can I just say I'm using that term in gest...I think!

I'm currently probably getting through 5/7 bottles wine per week. When I write it down, yes, it is a HUGE amount and some mite say I have a drink problem. And I might just agree.

However, most of my friends appear to be in similar situations and aren't half as concerned about the issue as I am. Come home from work, collect the kids, start dinner, open a bottle 'just to have one glass' - before you know it, the dishes are done, the kids are asleep and the bottle is empty and it's bedtime.

Am I alone in living this lifestyle? I remember when my Mum was alive, she'd send me next door to get a tablet from our neighbour 'for her nerves'. No doubt, it was a valium or similar, and many of our neighbours 'borrowed' even half a tablet from each other. I'm guessing this was their 'thing'. And 40 years later, wine seems to be my 'thing'.

More than anything else, I'm just wondering how common this 'life' style is??? Btw, even though both beer and wine ARE alcohol, I would immediately think that anyone who drank 4 cans per night, was an alco. But wine seems 'posher'. Double standards I know, but it's almost acceptable to say 'I had a bottle of wine last night' and often, very often, someone will say 'So did I'.

So am I alone???

Homer · 02-04-2009 03:20PM

You are certainly not alone. You are however, in denial I would say?!

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:23PM

I'm not in denial Homer, honestly. I know it's a problem. And I know what I have to do. I haven't done it yet, but I will. In the meantime, I'm just wondering how common my 'problem' is?

Homer · 02-04-2009 03:29PM

Well that's the first step I guess, admitting you have a perceived problem. I can honestly say that in my wide circle of friends I would be seriously concerned if somebody was drinking that much alcohol. Regardless of whether it was wine or beer or spirits. It's certainly not healthy to be drinking that much? Especially considering you have family to look after I gather?
Do you work during the day also? If so, is it affecting your work life? Or how about your personal life?
I would struggle to operate a normal life drinking that much on a regular basis?

shellyboo · 02-04-2009 03:29PM

Communicator wrote: »

I'm not in denial Homer, honestly. I know it's a problem. And I know what I have to do. I haven't done it yet, but I will. In the meantime, I'm just wondering how common my 'problem' is?

How common is alcoholism? Quite, I think.

No need to dance around the issue - if you can't get through the evening without <alcoholic beverage of choice> then you are an alcoholic.

nylon · 02-04-2009 03:33PM

I've heard a lot of news reports about this recently. Wine consumption has greatly increased in Ireland, but because it's associated with being cultured, cosmopolitan (read middle-class) it hasn't been viewed as an issue.

Even if Dutch Gold is responsible for more drunk and disorderly arrests, the equivalent volume of wine is just as damaging. It's just a more socially-acceptable form of alcohol abuse.

You are drinking far, FAR too much. Even if you find out here that it's common, you really should reduce your intake... perhaps even seek help if it's become that much of a crutch for you.

SueWho · 02-04-2009 03:33PM

I would say very common but that doesn't make it ok. It's common to smoke, it's common to be obese...

I do think a lot of people have a vice which they will always struggle with. I guess just try to cut down a bit rather than give up. There was one point when I used to drink wine almost every night but found it a little too hard to get up in the mornings so I cut back. I still drink more than 14 units per week some weeks, but I try to see wine as a treat to have maybe 3 or 4 times a week rather than part of every single day.

Have a look at this article from the Indo on Monday:

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/im-not-a-desperate-housewife-but-i-like-my-glass-of-wine-1690726.html

Nevyn · 02-04-2009 03:34PM

Communicator wrote: »

I'm not in denial Homer, honestly. I know it's a problem. And I know what I have to do. I haven't done it yet, but I will. In the meantime, I'm just wondering how common my 'problem' is?

It is a very easy habit to fall into and once the bottle of wine is open it hard
not to finish it and as it's just a glass of wine you can easily fall into a pattern of drinking esp as you reward yourself with it to relax after the kids are gone to bed.

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:35PM

With all due respect, that really wasn't my question. Yes, I can get through the day, yes I have a family to raise and yes I work full-time in quite a stressful job which is why, I imagine, I crave that first glass most evenings.

I am not necessarily looking for advice around my problem. Like I said, I know it's a problem and I will fix it.

I'm just asking how many other people out there are doing the same, or similar to me? Or am I just being very honest by admitting it?

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:36PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

It is a very easy habit to fall into and once the bottle of wine is open it hard
not to finish it and as it's just a glass of wine you can easily fall into a pattern of drinking esp as you reward yourself with it to relax after the kids are gone to bed.

Thank you Thaedyal, that's exactly how I've gotten into this 'habit'. Kids in bed, sit down relax and finish off the bottle...would you or your friends do similar?

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:37PM

SueWho wrote: »

I would say very common but that doesn't make it ok. It's common to smoke, it's common to be obese...

I do think a lot of people have a vice which they will always struggle with. I guess just try to cut down a bit rather than give up. There was one point when I used to drink wine almost every night but found it a little too hard to get up in the mornings so I cut back. I still drink more than 14 units per week some weeks, but I try to see wine as a treat to have maybe 3 or 4 times a week rather than part of every single day.

Have a look at this article from the Indo on Monday:

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/im-not-a-desperate-housewife-but-i-like-my-glass-of-wine-1690726.html

When you say '3 or 4' times a week. Is that 3 or 4 bottles a week. Like do you drink the whole bottle. Or can you stop at a glass?

Communicator · 02-04-2009 03:39PM

I'm honestly not trying to find out how common this is to justify my own drinking.

I'm just genuinely interested to find out if there are many, many more like me out there who have this attitude towards wine (in particular).

Nevyn · 02-04-2009 03:41PM

Communicator wrote: »

Thank you Thaedyal, that's exactly how I've gotten into this 'habit'. Kids in bed, sit down relax and finish off the bottle...would you or your friends do similar?

It was a pattern I fell into and I don't do it any more, I found the easiest way
was to not keep wine/beer/whiskey in the house.

I wouldn't see the harm in a glass of wine a day but it's when it's more then that and it's
habitual then I think it's a issue that should be looked at.

SueWho · 02-04-2009 03:45PM

Half a bottle mostly and some weeks I'd drink nothing at all. The odd time I'd drink a bottle of wine but it's too much. As a bottle of wine contains 12 units even to drink "just" three half bottles a week is 18 units of alcohol.

I really don't think there's much harm in sometimes exceeding the recommending limit (14 units for women) but if you can't go a week or two without a drink then you have a problem. Even if you aren't psychologically/ physically addicted you have a problem in the sense that you could be ruining your liver and all the other health concerns to do with alcohol.

I'm not preaching. I'm not perfect myself but as I get older I'm getting more sensible and I feel better because of that.

LegacyUser · 02-04-2009 03:47PM

does it really matter if everyones doing it or not?

YOU know its too much and YOU know its a problem. Nip in the bud while your children are still young. my mother was the same as you. super mom. until the drinking took hold and eventually pill popping set in. now my families is in ruins. my moms been sober over a year but all those years of heartache are what everyone remembers.

fix it.

Plek Trum · 02-04-2009 03:47PM

I would say it is very common to be honest - I found myself in a smiliar routine with my partner (no kids but both working full time). We would have dinner around 7pm, open a bottle to have a glass and yes finish the bottle everytime.

It got to the stage when (a) I noticed the weight (b) noticed the bank balance(!) and (c) noticed the routine of it. We decided to cut out the wine until weekends and then enjoy it without guilt and made this part of our 'get fitter' routine. Certainly worked and the benefits were noticable all round.

Dont be too worried or hard on yourself, maybe see if you can make it every 2nd or 3rd night. Dont worry about "finishing the bottle" too much - I personally dont know any friends that would pop the cork back in and put it away. You have identified a routine, now you can make some changes if you feel the need too. You'll see and the benefits in a few weeks.. promise!

dodgyme · 02-04-2009 03:48PM

you now have me thinking about getting a bottle on the way home - had enough last night with the match on and all.:(

smileysurfer · 02-04-2009 03:49PM

5/7 Bottles of wine a week? A bottle of wine a day? I have a relative in the same situation, shes now going to AA meetings.

Lothaar · 02-04-2009 03:51PM

OP - I'm the same as you. I love wine. I'm aware that it's not good for me and that I should cut down. I probably drink 5/7 bottles a week too, depending on how the week goes.

It's part vice and part hobby, as I'm interested in learning about wine. I usually research it and buy good wines from specialist wine shops.

I'm going on holiday to Bordeaux next week. I'll probably drink more than usual... can't wait!

Minxie123 · 02-04-2009 03:51PM

Communicator wrote: »

I'm honestly not trying to find out how common this is to justify my own drinking.

I'm just genuinely interested to find out if there are many, many more like me out there who have this attitude towards wine (in particular).

Have recently started looking at my own wine intake as well. Up until last year I had a long commute every morning so wouldn't have a drop to drink Monday to Friday but when that changed I found myself getting a bottle on a Thursday evening for me and OH. But OH doesn't really drink at home so I would inevitably end up polishing it off myself. Then I added Tuesdays to my 'wine treat' and soon enough Wednesday got the same treatment. Personally I wasn't feeling the better of it so have gone back to my Thursday treat. I thought 3 bottles a week was a lot but you've made me feel better with your 5/7 so cheers

I found when I was thinking about it I compared myself to my friends and as you say its not uncommon to hear of people 'having a bottle of wine' of an evening but I suppose you have to forget about everyone else and look at your own habits and how its affecting you.

Blue_Wolf · 02-04-2009 03:52PM

I found myself drinking 5-6 nights per week and most of the time on my own, maybe 4-5 bottles a night. It annoys my girlfriend as she had issues with one of her ex's who got aggressive when drinking. This has really happened in the last 2 months. I'm not in denial, I think I do have a problem. Saying that Im off the cigarettes 2 months so I'm just finding something else to do to take my mind off it.
Last time i gave up cigarettes (for 2years) the 1st 3-4months I was addicted to buying scratch cards. I think im going through a phase and it will pass. Perhaps OP you are going through a phase, maybe there is something troubling you, stressing you out?

petethebrick · 02-04-2009 03:52PM

Try cutting out alcohol during the week altogether and saving drinking for social occasions at the weekends. That's what I'm trying to do - you'd be amazed at the reduction in the amount you drink when you add it up.
For me drinking at home during the week was more due to boredom originally but over time it can become a sort of crutch you lean on just to relax in the evenings. I'm doing good enough so far -although I did drink a six pack last nite watching the match

I still drink too much on nights out at the weekend but that's another issue for me

biko · 02-04-2009 03:59PM

If my partner was drinking anywhere near that amount per day I would be very worried.

dodgyme · 02-04-2009 03:59PM

petethebrick wrote: »

Try cutting out alcohol during the week altogether and saving drinking for social occasions at the weekends. That's what I'm trying to do - you'd be amazed at the reduction in the amount you drink when you add it up.
For me drinking at home during the week was more due to boredom originally but over time it can become a sort of crutch you lean on just to relax in the evenings. I'm doing good enough so far -although I did drink a six pack last nite watching the match

I still drink too much on nights out at the weekend but that's another issue for me

ahhh for some home brew ->

http://www.independent.ie/business/personal-finance/surviving-the-recession/bubbling-over-1691947.html

not a good idea for me.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 02-04-2009 04:02PM

Op just had a thought for you. Could you buy those small bottles of wine instead and have one of them when the kids go to bed.

You could get non-alcoholic stuff to have with your food if you enjoy the taste with a meal.

If you find yourself unsatisfied by only having the small bottle it could show the difference between a habit and an addiction.

Communicator · 02-04-2009 04:03PM

Yes, I am stressed and yes, I have alot on my mind. But I've had this stuff on my mind for a long time! I'm glad I've found that there are people doing similar things to me - it makes me feel I'm not that insane afterall.

It started due to boredom. And it has become a habit. A very bad habit I know. Its almost a physical feeling now. I get the apprehension in my shoulders when I'm passing by the shop every evening with the 'will I or won't I' drive in and buy a bottle? I inevitably do. I'm not looking for help here because I know what I HAVE to do. I do however, have a bad opionion of AA. I'm sure they're great at what they do but I'd a family member who lived by them for many, many years, to the point where it drove us all insane and the very mention of them gives me the quivers. Just a personal opinion.

Communicator · 02-04-2009 04:11PM

sounds like a plan bottleof smoke. I would feel like a right plonker buying ONE of those small bottles though!!

Life is funny though. Would you believe the main reason I even wrote this thread today was down to vanity.

Yes I know my liver must be in bits (or close to it) and yes I've put on weight because of the wine. But I've noticed one of my teeth is going a funny colour. Just one of them. And it's only a slightly different shade. Nobody else would really notice but I love my teeth. I've always been complimented on my smile and my white teeth (never smoked). And I was appalled when I saw it the other day...:(

Communicator · 02-04-2009 04:17PM

Sorry heartbroke, I missd your reply there. I don't really know what to say. Other than that's hit home. I have one child. He's 6. So far he wouldn't even be aware of my problem because he's in bed. But the thoughts that he'd be replying to a thread like this in 10/15yrs.....I dunno what to say

tweety76 · 02-04-2009 04:18PM

Once a large bottle is open it's too easy to drink it all, don't worry about looking like a plonker just buy the small bottles and break the "habit" now. If it is just a habit there are non alcoholic wines you can also buy - try them for a couple of days to see if you still get the same kick and it relieves your "boredom".

Different bottles of vino contain different % of alcohol which can result in different unit intakes per week. Look at the back of the bottle to look at the alcohol content % then go to www.drinkaware.ie for a reality check. There is a calculator where you add your weekly units up. Try it out.

I did this recently and have cut down to my recommended 14 units for women a week.I was drinking too much.

Good luck.

gaz wac · 02-04-2009 04:26PM

Communicator wrote: »

I have one child. He's 6. So far he wouldn't even be aware of my problem because he's in bed.

He will be aware if he falls going to the bathroom and splits his head open and needs stiches and he is waiting 30 mins for a taxi cos mammy is to sozzled to drive to the hospital !!!

LegacyUser · 02-04-2009 04:29PM

Communicator wrote: »

Sorry heartbroke, I missd your reply there. I don't really know what to say. Other than that's hit home. I have one child. He's 6. So far he wouldn't even be aware of my problem because he's in bed. But the thoughts that he'd be replying to a thread like this in 10/15yrs.....I dunno what to say

i was 6 when my mom was on a bottle a night. i'd wonder why mommy needed to drink so much when i'd see the empty bottle every morning. i'd spill out a 1/4 of the bottle of gin/whiskey ect and water it down if i ever was alone in the kitchen. eventually as i got older i got to stay up later and see the drinking take place. then older again, see my mom tipsy and so on and on until i was putting her to bed and cleaning up after. she became agressive towards me and my father, resulting in her nearly killing herself by accident and my father.

stop it now, please. i don't mean to sound melodramatic but you have no idea how this could snowball. my heart literally raced as i read your first post. at least you know its a problem but alcoholism is very strong and the longer you leave it the harder it is to break.

Too much Wine?

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