Things you once did but can't anymore.

Pighead · 20-03-2009 10:57AM #1

Pighead took off his shoes the other day to find that his new Sex Bomb novelty socks had holes in the big toe area of both. Started cursing and moaning a bit. "Fcuk it, Mam only bought them for me last week. Stupid stinking long toenails." Anyway, went looking for the toe nail clippers but they were nowhere to be found. Searched high and low but they'd obviously been stolen.

Luckily Pighead always has a plan B so he sat down, took off the novelty socks, grabbed his ankle and brought the big toe towards his mouth. That familiar smell started to waft up the old nostrils and Pighead prepared to bite the offending toenail but there was a problem. The toenail was about 6" away from the mouth area making it impossible to bite. How the hell had this happened? Pighead used to be able to do this without breaking sweat. Unfortunately it seems that Pigheads legs have grown at a faster rate than his mouth and he will never again be able to bite his toenails.

What stuff that you used to be able to do in your pomp can't you do anymore?

LeahBaby · 20-03-2009 10:59AM

Piss myself and it be cute.

starflake · 20-03-2009 10:59AM

That's rotten

Pighead · 20-03-2009 11:04AM

LeahBaby wrote: »

Piss myself and it be cute.

You're obviously not socialising in the right circles LeahBaby. Pighead knows cousins people who'd pay to see a grown girl do a wee wee in her underpants.

Pyr0 · 20-03-2009 11:12AM

Pighead wrote: »

You're obviously not socialising in the right circles LeahBaby. Pighead knows cousins people who'd pay to see a grown girl do a wee wee in her underpants.

I'd pay to see tha...

Wait..

Nevermind.

>_>

<_<

missbaker · 20-03-2009 11:13AM

Anyone there to bite them for you?

here.from.day.1 · 20-03-2009 11:15AM

Fit through my bedroom window.. I found out the hard way. :pac:

Pighead · 20-03-2009 11:16AM

missbaker wrote: »

Anyone there to bite them for you?

Was going to ask Miss Piggy but thought better of it as she hates the smell of sweaty poo cheese.

alexandros · 20-03-2009 11:16AM

heroic doses of hallucinogens

Ginny · 20-03-2009 11:20AM

The splits.

missbaker · 20-03-2009 11:21AM

Pighead wrote: »

Was going to ask Miss Piggy but thought better of it as she hates the smell of sweaty poo cheese.

Welll it definitely sounds like your feet need some attention. .
sweaty poo cheese and daggers for nails. Lucky miss piggy!!!

Smart Bug · 20-03-2009 11:21AM

Get a girlfriend

CreepingDeath · 20-03-2009 11:22AM

Pighead wrote: »

What stuff that you used to be able to do in your pomp can't you do anymore?

Fit into trousers with a 30" waist.

missbaker · 20-03-2009 11:23AM

Hangovers :eek:

Berty · 20-03-2009 11:45AM

Listen to 90's dance music anymore without some teenage twat telling me that it only came out last week re-mixed by DJ W*nker or something like that.

Pighead · 20-03-2009 11:52AM

Berty wrote: »

Listen to 90's dance music anymore without some teenage twat telling me that it only came out last week re-mixed by DJ W*nker or something like that.

Thats similar to another thing Pighead doesn't do anymore. Buy CD Singles. Used to be a fcuker for the old CD Singles. It was a huge event whenever Suede released a new single. Three shiny new B-Sides to listen to back when B-Sides were actually proper new songs rather than a remix or a live version of an old song.

carlybabe1 · 20-03-2009 11:55AM

Swim in the canal/weirs without catching weils disease

Terry · 20-03-2009 12:01PM

Run. I let myself go.

Singer73 · 20-03-2009 12:02PM

Relose my virginity...

missbaker · 20-03-2009 12:12PM

Singer73 wrote: »

Relose my virginity...

It can grow back you know! Mine has

Zangetsu · 20-03-2009 12:16PM

Can't actually think of anything... Must still be young wahooooo!

Kiera · 20-03-2009 12:16PM

missbaker wrote: »

It can grow back you know! Mine has

I hear ya sista

carlybabe1 · 20-03-2009 12:20PM

Terry wrote: »

Run. I let myself go.

God do I know that feelin, gave up smokin and developed adult onset athsma

:(:( now whem I try to run I sound like a wheeze box. Still gonna do the mini marathon though :eek::eek::eek:

things I can no longer do :rolleyes:...hmmm..... oh yes, look at food with out putting on weight

carlybabe1 · 20-03-2009 12:21PM

Zangetsu wrote: »

Can't actually think of anything... Must still be young wahooooo!

GTFO

tony1kenobi · 20-03-2009 12:43PM

Pighead wrote: »

What stuff that you used to be able to do in your pomp can't you do anymore?

Under 18s.

intermittentmay · 20-03-2009 01:15PM

I could do handstands anytime i liked years ago. Last summer I tried to do one, thinking innocently that years hadn't passed for me. An unexpected tremor took hold of my arms and I nearly broke my neck. Damn passage of time...

chakotha · 20-03-2009 01:23PM

100 press ups
Run a mile
Buy a pint and 20 cigs in Ireland for less than a tenner

All somehow related

Smart Bug · 20-03-2009 01:25PM

missbaker wrote: »

It can grow back you know! Mine has

Kiera wrote: »

I hear ya sista

I didn't think a man's could until me quare thing inverted from lack of use.

Pighead · 20-03-2009 01:27PM

intermittentmay wrote: »

I could do handstands anytime i liked years ago. Last summer I tried to do one, thinking innocently that years hadn't passed for me. An unexpected tremor took hold of my arms and I nearly broke my neck. Damn passage of time...

Damn passage of time indeed intermittentmay. Back in the day Pighead used to be faster than Usain Bolt as he shimmied up trees here there and everywhere. "Look Mammy, Pigheads a monkey, Oooooh Ooooh Oooh"

Nowadays the reckless abandon has been replaced with fear and trepidation and it takes ten times longer to climb the same blasted tree. But worst of all, when Pighead does finally reach the top and starts acting like a monkey and doing his Oooooh Ooooh Ooohhs, Mammy's no longer at the bottom of the tree smiling up at her dear son. Instead it's the park ranger pointing with a big stick, threatening to throw Pighead out of the park for being drunk.:(

admiralofthefleet · 20-03-2009 01:28PM

whiskey. wipes my memory now

missbaker · 20-03-2009 01:32PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

I didn't think a man's could until me quare thing inverted from lack of use.

Oh no!! That doesnt sound too healthy!

Things you once did but can't anymore.

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