Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.

https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.

Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Freudian

Options

18-02-2009 02:18PM

#1
BlitzKrieg

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,698 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2000

Posts: 13919
Freudian slips are always embarrassing, so any interesting ones to tell?

I was teaching a group earlier today about editing aand the line should have been:

*And initially you should put together a work cut of your footage*

but what came out

*And initially you should put together a work cu*t of your footage*

*stop*

*blink*

*ahh sorry Freudian slip there I was meant to say work cu*t*

*F*ck!*

*sorry. sorry*

*take a 10 minute break*

*I should post this on after hours*

Hence here I am...

Tagged:

freudian slip

4

Comments

Options
#2 18-02-2009 02:25PM
Mr Magnolia

Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,459 Mod ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2005

Posts: 9565

Preist giving the final blessing at a relations funeral:

Eternal rest give unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual shite shine upon them

0
Options
#3 18-02-2009 02:25PM
phasers

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2006

Posts: 18004

MY MA!

0
Options
#4 18-02-2009 02:28PM
Blitzkrieger

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,676 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 1999

Posts: 6177

To a girl with a huge rack while working in a take-away years ago : "Would you like salt and vinegar on tits?"

She didn't comment so maybe she heard "this"......

0
Options
#5 18-02-2009 02:35PM
kowloon

Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,192 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2006

Posts: 14009

A friend of mine, quite recently, was out at the cinema with a lady he quite liked, goes to pay for the tickets at the desk and looks into his wallet and comes out with this creepy little gem: 'I've no protection'.
That is all.

0
Options
#6 18-02-2009 02:41PM
Daftendirekt

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 1278

phasers wrote: »

MY MA!

No. Just No.

0
Advertisement
Options
#7 18-02-2009 02:48PM
Mingey

Closed Accounts Posts: 432 ✭✭

Join Date: January 2009

Posts: 402

Freudian slip eh? Is that when you say one thing and mean my mother the other?

0
Options
#8 18-02-2009 02:55PM
faceman

Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,691 CMod ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2005

Posts: 15432

many years ago when i worked in a cinema before mobile phones were invented, I was doing an early shift on box office which is usually quiet and totty free.

However a hot young maiden approached my till and wanted to book seats for a film later that day. As our conversation deeped, so did the wild fantasies in my head as we conversed...

Conversation went like this:

Faceman: And where would you like to sit, back middle or front?
hot girl: Hmm, front, no wait, back, no wait. Whats the difference?
Faceman: Its whatever your preference is on how close you would like to sit to the screen?
Hot girl: Which is better the back or the middle?
faceman: well it depends. which side of the bed do you like to sleep on?

I dont know what I was trying to say, it just came out.

0
Options
#9 18-02-2009 02:59PM
Earthhorse

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,728 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 14675

Remember that time someone paged Dr. Freud to a thread?

That was funny because he's not a real doctor. And this isn't a hospital. Shame about the dude who died though.

0
Options
#10 18-02-2009 03:03PM
r3nu4l

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,392 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 15535

When I worked in a lab a friend of mine realised that we were running low on bactericidal soap (soap that kills off certain bacterial species).

So she shouts across the lab to me:
'Do we have any more spermicidal soap?'

She didn't live it down for months.

0
Options
#11 18-02-2009 03:15PM
Earthhorse

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,728 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2002

Posts: 14675

When I was a wee lad I entered my local Centra and instead of asking for a Double Dip asked for a Double Dick.

Good thing my local Centra wasn't in Amsterdam.

0
Advertisement
Options
#12 18-02-2009 03:22PM
OldGoat

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,647 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2008

Posts: 11565

Many years ago, back in my single days I was discussing the very topic of Freud with a rather attractive young woman. We were talking about how he likened cigars to phalluses. I was expounding how that a cigar COULD be seen as a phallus but in fact it was a cigar, it had a different function. I waxed lyrical about a cigars construction, it's place in history, about the art of clipping it properly, the finesse involved in lighting it and then… 'and then you can stroke it'.
Luckily laughter is an aphrodisiac.

I'm older than Minecraft goats.

0
Options
#13 18-02-2009 03:26PM
stovelid

Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 27017

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

0
Options
#14 18-02-2009 03:26PM
Turd Ferguson

Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2005

Posts: 4118

I was in a bar a few weeks ago and there was a very well endowed maiden serving the drinks. So I ambled up to the counter and instead of saying "Can I trouble you for a pint please?" I said "I want to titty fuck the shit out of you".

Oh those Freudian slips :rolleyes:

0
Options
#15 18-02-2009 03:29PM
Soby

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,978 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2005

Posts: 5782

Old geog teacher wrote up blow job instead of blow hole:p

0
Options
#16 18-02-2009 03:34PM
Overflow

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,266 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2004

Posts: 1170

I was working in a call center a few years ago and the correct way to answer the phone was:

"Welcome to ********, how can i help you?"

I said:

"Welcome to ********, how can i milk you?"

Hung up the phone straight away.

Edit:

Should have posted this here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055490296

0
Options
#17 18-02-2009 03:35PM
PurpleBerry

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2008

Posts: 936

Lemme set the scene: Me, boyfriend, cosy little pub in Rathmines. Boyfriend asks me something, I can't remember what the question was, but the answer was "Because I'm really horny". I ended up leaning in and seductively telling him "Because I'm really sexy".

Ah, all's well that ends well. He's my husband now so he must've agreed.

0
Options
#18 18-02-2009 04:01PM
bluto63

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2005

Posts: 2184

A place down the road from me that's closed now used to have this amazing sauce called herbie sauce. Everytime I went into that place I used to call it herpie sauce by accident

0
Options
#19 18-02-2009 04:03PM
griffdaddy

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,414 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2003

Posts: 3124

r3nu4l wrote: »

When I worked in a lab a friend of mine realised that we were running low on bactericidal soap (soap that kills off certain bacterial species).

So she shouts across the lab to me:
'Do we have any more spermicidal soap?'

She didn't live it down for months. Luckily, somebody shouted 'Pie is exactly 3.1.....' and that deflected the embarrassment.

Fixed it for you, Mr. high brow scientist. :pac:

0
Options
#20 18-02-2009 04:08PM
Professey Chin

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2008

Posts: 50867

I made the obvious one.
A girl I know was gonna finally learn how to swim.
My quote " Most people learn doggy style first then move on from there". Damn you doggy paddle

0
Options
#21 18-02-2009 04:28PM
[Deleted User]
Posts: 6,045 ✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 5865

Mine is pretty close to Turd Ferguson's (easy now), when just the other morning instead of saying to my wife "please pass the salt" i ended up saying "You fncking b1tch, you've ruined my life...."

0
Advertisement
Options
#22 18-02-2009 04:36PM
OpenYourEyes

Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 3,081 Mod ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2008

Posts: 3007

stovelid wrote: »

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

Along similar lines, but a little less common - a guy while reading out of a religion book said "prostitutes" instead of "protestants"!

0
Options
#23 18-02-2009 04:47PM
994

Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2009

Posts: 905

Once I meant to ask my mother, "does your foot hurt?", but it came out as "why don't you love me?" :eek:

0
Options
#24 18-02-2009 04:57PM
Turd Ferguson

Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2005

Posts: 4118

OpenYourEyes wrote: »

Along similar lines, but a little less common - a guy while reading out of a religion book said "prostitutes" instead of "protestants"!

Ian Paisley?

0
Options
#25 18-02-2009 05:22PM
Turd Ferguson

Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2005

Posts: 4118

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!"

0
Options
#26 18-02-2009 05:24PM
stovelid

Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 27017

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!". "Which one of us?" all three replied in unison.

FYP

0
Options
#27 18-02-2009 05:31PM
Noopti

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,776 ✭✭✭

Join Date: March 2004

Posts: 2715

stovelid wrote: »

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

Did that too.

In fact, I think at least one person per class did this one!

0
Options
#28 18-02-2009 05:32PM
00112984

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2006

Posts: 1498

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!"

You've killed it.

0
Options
#29 18-02-2009 05:40PM
stovelid

Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2006

Posts: 27017

Noopti wrote: »

Did that too.

In fact, I think at least one person per class did this one!

I know.

It's the only slip I've made since I was Jung.

0
Options
#30 18-02-2009 06:00PM
[Deleted User]
Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 25609

Usually people would make the mistake of calling their female teacher "mum" instead of "miss"

I once called mine "granny" by accident.

Don't think she was too impressed.

0
Advertisement
Options
#31 18-02-2009 06:27PM
JerryHandbag

Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2006

Posts: 6472

My mate once asked a pretty girl for food at the counter in the cinema...
Instead of saying "Can I have a small coke and a large popcorn...." he said the immortal words "Can I have a small poke and a large cock porn...."

She dropped the change into his hand from a distance

0