Freudian

BlitzKrieg

Freudian slips are always embarrassing, so any interesting ones to tell?


I was teaching a group earlier today about editing aand the line should have been:

*And initially you should put together a work cut of your footage*


but what came out

*And initially you should put together a work cu*t of your footage*


*stop*

*blink*

*ahh sorry Freudian slip there I was meant to say work cu*t*

*F*ck!*

*sorry. sorry*

*take a 10 minute break*

*I should post this on after hours*


Hence here I am...

Mr Magnolia

Preist giving the final blessing at a relations funeral:

Eternal rest give unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual shite shine upon them

phasers

MY MA!

Blitzkrieger

To a girl with a huge rack while working in a take-away years ago : "Would you like salt and vinegar on tits?"

She didn't comment so maybe she heard "this"......

kowloon

A friend of mine, quite recently, was out at the cinema with a lady he quite liked, goes to pay for the tickets at the desk and looks into his wallet and comes out with this creepy little gem: 'I've no protection'.
That is all.

Daftendirekt

phasers wrote: »

MY MA!

No. Just No.

Mingey

Freudian slip eh? Is that when you say one thing and mean my mother the other?

faceman

many years ago when i worked in a cinema before mobile phones were invented, I was doing an early shift on box office which is usually quiet and totty free.

However a hot young maiden approached my till and wanted to book seats for a film later that day. As our conversation deeped, so did the wild fantasies in my head as we conversed...

Conversation went like this:

Faceman: And where would you like to sit, back middle or front?
hot girl: Hmm, front, no wait, back, no wait. Whats the difference?
Faceman: Its whatever your preference is on how close you would like to sit to the screen?
Hot girl: Which is better the back or the middle?
faceman: well it depends. which side of the bed do you like to sleep on?

I dont know what I was trying to say, it just came out.

Earthhorse

Remember that time someone paged Dr. Freud to a thread?

That was funny because he's not a real doctor. And this isn't a hospital. Shame about the dude who died though.

r3nu4l

When I worked in a lab a friend of mine realised that we were running low on bactericidal soap (soap that kills off certain bacterial species).

So she shouts across the lab to me:
'Do we have any more spermicidal soap?'

She didn't live it down for months.

Earthhorse

When I was a wee lad I entered my local Centra and instead of asking for a Double Dip asked for a Double Dick.

Good thing my local Centra wasn't in Amsterdam.

OldGoat

Many years ago, back in my single days I was discussing the very topic of Freud with a rather attractive young woman. We were talking about how he likened cigars to phalluses. I was expounding how that a cigar COULD be seen as a phallus but in fact it was a cigar, it had a different function. I waxed lyrical about a cigars construction, it's place in history, about the art of clipping it properly, the finesse involved in lighting it and then… 'and then you can stroke it'.
Luckily laughter is an aphrodisiac.

stovelid

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

Turd Ferguson

I was in a bar a few weeks ago and there was a very well endowed maiden serving the drinks. So I ambled up to the counter and instead of saying "Can I trouble you for a pint please?" I said "I want to titty fuck the shit out of you".

Oh those Freudian slips :rolleyes:

Soby

Old geog teacher wrote up blow job instead of blow hole:p

Overflow

I was working in a call center a few years ago and the correct way to answer the phone was:

"Welcome to ********, how can i help you?"

I said:

"Welcome to ********, how can i milk you?"

Hung up the phone straight away.

Edit:

Should have posted this here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055490296

PurpleBerry

Lemme set the scene: Me, boyfriend, cosy little pub in Rathmines. Boyfriend asks me something, I can't remember what the question was, but the answer was "Because I'm really horny". I ended up leaning in and seductively telling him "Because I'm really sexy".

Ah, all's well that ends well. He's my husband now so he must've agreed.

bluto63

A place down the road from me that's closed now used to have this amazing sauce called herbie sauce. Everytime I went into that place I used to call it herpie sauce by accident

griffdaddy

r3nu4l wrote: »

When I worked in a lab a friend of mine realised that we were running low on bactericidal soap (soap that kills off certain bacterial species).

So she shouts across the lab to me:
'Do we have any more spermicidal soap?'

She didn't live it down for months. Luckily, somebody shouted 'Pie is exactly 3.1.....' and that deflected the embarrassment.

Fixed it for you, Mr. high brow scientist. :pac:

Professey Chin

I made the obvious one.
A girl I know was gonna finally learn how to swim.
My quote " Most people learn doggy style first then move on from there". Damn you doggy paddle

Mine is pretty close to Turd Ferguson's (easy now), when just the other morning instead of saying to my wife "please pass the salt" i ended up saying "You fncking b1tch, you've ruined my life...."

OpenYourEyes

stovelid wrote: »

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

Along similar lines, but a little less common - a guy while reading out of a religion book said "prostitutes" instead of "protestants"!

994

Once I meant to ask my mother, "does your foot hurt?", but it came out as "why don't you love me?" :eek:

Turd Ferguson

OpenYourEyes wrote: »

Along similar lines, but a little less common - a guy while reading out of a religion book said "prostitutes" instead of "protestants"!

Ian Paisley?

Turd Ferguson

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!"

stovelid

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!". "Which one of us?" all three replied in unison.

FYP

Noopti

stovelid wrote: »

Garden variety one: said orgasm instead of organism to the teacher in front of the biology class. Can't really be classed as Freudian as she was a munter.

Did that too.

In fact, I think at least one person per class did this one!

00112984

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

This one time I was at a funeral and I was outside the church having a smoke with my aunt. I meant to say "it's very sad, isnt it?" but I said "You're hot. We should totally do it!"

You've killed it.

stovelid

Noopti wrote: »

Did that too.

In fact, I think at least one person per class did this one!

I know.

It's the only slip I've made since I was Jung.

Usually people would make the mistake of calling their female teacher "mum" instead of "miss"

I once called mine "granny" by accident.

Don't think she was too impressed.

JerryHandbag

My mate once asked a pretty girl for food at the counter in the cinema...
Instead of saying "Can I have a small coke and a large popcorn...." he said the immortal words "Can I have a small poke and a large cock porn...."

She dropped the change into his hand from a distance

a really loud freudian slip in front of parents/aunties.. was tellin brother about metallica's dvd "cunning stunts" nd well i got the name really wrong.

sounded like a porno, stunning cúnts. quite embaressing.

Blitzkrieger

Was just on the phone and got asked : "How many years no claims boner?"

ceegee

Deleted User wrote: »

a really loud freudian slip in front of parents/aunties.. was tellin brother about metallica's dvd "cunning stunts" nd well i got the name really wrong.

sounded like a porno, stunning cúnts. quite embaressing.

Same band, different dvd. "Have you still got my S&M dvd?" - cue teacher walking past staring at us.

Turd Ferguson

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

Was just on the phone and got asked : "How many years no claims boner?"

What the hell do you be doing with it to warrant cock insurance?

Earthhorse

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

What the hell do you be doing with it to warrant cock insurance?

I'd have mine insured but the policy doesn't cover Acts of God. :cool:

Gran Hermano

What's a Freudian clit, I mean slip?

pljudge321

In 6th Class:

Teacher: Can anyone tell me what was at the heart of the troubles in the North? Stephen?

Stephen: It was a war between the Catholics and the Prostitutes sir.

Quint

My girlfriend asking her cousin about his new kitchen extension:
"So, hows the erection?"

They were really embarrassed as I lay on the ground laughing for 10 minutes

Bottle_of_Smoke

I used to work in O'Connors jeans on grafton street, its a jack jones now but anyway it was a clothes shop, used to sell same kinda brands as BT2 but smaller shop.

We were expected to approach customers if they looked like they needed help or if their size wasn't out on display etc.

So one day, these two camp looking guys come in, they were looking through a pile of jeans so I walk up to them and say "are you gays ok for a size......*awkward milisecond** .. erm are you guys ok for a size" They both just nodded awkwardly so I went off and hid in the stockroom until they left.

allabouteve

A year or so ago, at an auction in aid of a childrens charity, one of my friends was playing auctioneers assistant. When a carraige clock came up as a lot, the auctioneer said to her ''Isn't that a lovely clock?'' to which she replied...

''Yes, I've been wanting a nice cock for a long time''.

Mrmoe

During a computer class back in college about 9 years ago a girl in my class sitting next to forget her floppy disk to save her work. Being a gentleman I asked her if she wanted to use my floppy dick.:o

wudangclan

freudian slip:typing in www.boards.com

KnifeWRENCH

In 6th Year, there was a girl who liked to slag me off to try and wind me up.
Anyway one day she said something like "Why are you talking to me?" I meant to reply "Because I like annoying you" but somehow it came out as "Because I like enjoying you."
Shejust laughed at me so I had no choice but to laugh it off aswell!

mahamageehad

Just before christmas we had a lecture on computer technology where the lecture (old man) was telling us about how he was currently have a big problem with his hard dicks.......:eek:

***cue total silence***
***cue red-face***
***cue unstoppable laughter***
***cue lively exit!!!***

Still make me laugh to think about it! It really was a hard problem to solve!!