Door-to-door b*stards

OneThingIKnow · 11-02-2009 01:17AM

I hate door to door sales people. Years and years ago, some salesman come to the door selling some window cleaning thingy that was supposed to be "absolutely amazing" that was been advertised on telly. Me da acted really interested and tricked him into cleaning all our front windows before telling him he wasn't interested then shut the door in his face.

RoundyMooney · 11-02-2009 01:20AM

Zwillinge wrote: »

Not exactly...

Last week I had a guy from Wexford trying to sell me pillows.
I was standing in my pyjamas looking very confused and shook my head before he went off shouting to his friend/coworker "Have you got the quilts with you?"

Just as well you weren't female...

Sam Kade · 11-02-2009 01:23AM

I have become an expert in hunting combined insurance salesmen/women from my door; only problem is they keep coming back as they keep changing their sales people.

Overheal · 11-02-2009 01:23AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf4ev4DuXIY

RoundyMooney · 11-02-2009 01:26AM

On another note, those pricks with the "Saev Teh Childeren!" clothing stickers are now getting regulation phunts up the hole anytime they call to Chez Roundy. My biggest problem is catching the shaven headed knapsack wearing vermin in the act.

I don't give a feck if they're dole dodgers on minimum wage, they're shoving sh1te thru my letter box and getting under the counter cash for it; ergo they can, politely, shove off.

White_Feather · 11-02-2009 01:32AM

dollybird09 wrote: »

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

Prick

OneThingIKnow · 11-02-2009 01:40AM

^^^

Whatta bollocks. He was most likely looking for money for drugs or drink.

Overheal · 11-02-2009 01:41AM

White_Feather wrote: »

Prick

Wait a minute: I agree. What a prick.

Scarinae · 11-02-2009 01:42AM

A few years ago, my mother was putting Immac on her legs in the bathroom when the doorbell rang. She assumed it was our blind next-door neighbour, who had said she was going to call around that morning to return some teacups she had borrowed for a party. So my mother went to answer the door in her knickers, and as she walked down the hall our two labradors brushed past her and ran to the door, getting depilatory cream all over their fur in the process. Anyway, she opened the door in a t-shirt and knickers, with cream all over her legs, trying to hold back two overexcited dogs, and realised it was actually two rather horrified Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep! They'd been bothering us for weeks, but they never came back, must have written us off as a madhouse!
Incidentally, mum had to hose down the dogs in the back garden so they wouldn't lose half their fur, and she ended up leaving the cream on for so long that she got a rash on her legs. She said it was worth it to get rid of those religious nutters though

Nehaxak · 11-02-2009 01:52AM

Fishie wrote: »

A few years ago, my mother was putting Immac on her legs in the bathroom when the doorbell rang. She assumed it was our blind next-door neighbour, who had said she was going to call around that morning to return some teacups she had borrowed for a party. So my mother went to answer the door in her knickers, and as she walked down the hall our two labradors brushed past her and ran to the door, getting depilatory cream all over their fur in the process. Anyway, she opened the door in a t-shirt and knickers, with cream all over her legs, trying to hold back two overexcited dogs, and realised it was actually two rather horrified Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep! They'd been bothering us for weeks, but they never came back, must have written us off as a madhouse!
Incidentally, mum had to hose down the dogs in the back garden so they wouldn't lose half their fur, and she ended up leaving the cream on for so long that she got a rash on her legs. She said it was worth it to get rid of those religious nutters though

pics or gtfo ?

walshb · 11-02-2009 01:58AM

Confab wrote: »

Two Aussies come to the door last Thursday. 'Gday moit, have you got basic cable?' he asks. I told him that yes, we have. Naturally I wasn't going to tell him the truth, namely that we have The Box, mainly because he might've been from NTL or whatever.

Next thing he starts his spiel and practically elbows his way past me into the house! Being polite doesn't work, and eventually I'm force to yell 'WE DON'T F*CKING WANT ANY! NOW GET OUT!'

His 'no worries mate' was barely audible on the way out.

Anybody else dealt with these c*nts?

Your mistake was opening the door in the first place!

Scarinae · 11-02-2009 02:01AM

Nehaxak wrote: »

pics or gtfo ?

What? I wasn't in the house when this happened, otherwise I would have answered the door obviously

Sharpshooter · 11-02-2009 02:05AM

dollybird09 wrote: »

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

White_Feather wrote: »

Prick

Overheal wrote: »

Wait a minute: I agree. What a prick.

So do I actually, he wouldn't have done that if a 6 ft well built guy had opened the door.
And it is a pity there wasn't one somewhere in the house at the time.:mad:

SV · 11-02-2009 02:06AM

Jehovah Witnesses' came over there once and I decided to listen to them.

they're a boring bunch of fúckers.
they didn't even want to talk about anything interesting..just some God lad.

Sharpshooter · 11-02-2009 02:11AM

Jesus, don't I know it.
They have a problem understanding how Mary got pregnant.
I told them she was clean as a whistle.
Immaculate,in fact.

Amalgam · 11-02-2009 02:14AM

RoundyMooney wrote: »

On another note, those pricks with the "Saev Teh Childeren!" clothing stickers are now getting regulation phunts up the hole anytime they call to Chez Roundy. My biggest problem is catching the shaven headed knapsack wearing vermin in the act.

I don't give a feck if they're dole dodgers on minimum wage, they're shoving sh1te thru my letter box and getting under the counter cash for it; ergo they can, politely, shove off.

Why discourage them?! Do you not get the bags as well round your neck of the woods?

The SVP bags make great bins.. little holes as well, no trapped air, thoughful.

Back on topic, I was 'targeted' by two Jehovah's witness (women), in my late teens. I would be trapped on the doorstep, with that same look people have when contemplating jumping off a cliff. I spent 40 minutes 'debating' once, it was like a marathon, exhausted. I was too polite to tell them to f-ck off.

I was acting the maggot one week, my Mum thought it would be hilarious to invite the same two in for tea and cakes, I came home from school and jumped at the sight of them, inside..! No..! :eek:

Abi · 11-02-2009 02:22AM

Keep an axe near the front door. If you have a glass panel, wait till you connect eyes with the chugger / offending family member, and lick the axe.

Not likely to key the car, but might leave skiddys. Leave residue, acts as natural deterant.

jiltloop · 11-02-2009 02:37AM

I remember some poor bugger calling around to my house when I was living with 2 friends. We happened to be having a mad 21st birthday party with loads of people around and a bath full of drink and ice, bouncing castles out the back garden and such. So I drunkenly talked to him at the front door for about 30mins during which time he ended up offering me a job to which I replied "are you mad? sure look at the state of me, I drink like this everyday, I'd never turn up." Anyway ended up getting him into the party and he had a few beers and had a bit of cake. He's in all the blowing out the candles photos.

SV · 11-02-2009 02:51AM

jiltloop wrote: »

I remember some poor bugger calling around to my house when I was living with 2 friends. We happened to be having a mad 21st birthday party with loads of people around and a bath full of drink and ice, bouncing castles out the back garden and such. So I drunkenly talked to him at the front door for about 30mins during which time he ended up offering me a job to which I replied "are you mad? sure look at the state of me, I drink like this everyday, I'd never turn up." Anyway ended up getting him into the party and he had a few beers and had a bit of cake. He's in all the blowing out the candles photos.

that's fecking brilliant

:D:D

Zwillinge · 11-02-2009 09:42AM

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Are you sure he wasn't a Traveler? A guy knocked on my front door about three weeks ago and when I answered said "Is your Mammy there?". I said "I am the Mammy..." and he was like "oh right... Do you wanna buy these memory foam pillows, €30 for two" I said "No thanks" and he said "I tell ya what give us a tenner and you can have them"

I had to tell him I'd no money in the house before he'd leave the bleedin' garden!!

I think he was a traveler after all he did come all the way from Wexford to West Dublin to sell pillows.

I was too in shock to actually say anything to him, 'cause I found it quite bizarre to be selling pillows. He was quite insistant for me to open the door also, he leaned on the doorbell and it rang for more than the average doorbell and he also knocked/banged on the door.

RoundyMooney wrote: »

Just as well you weren't female...

I was then and still am :rolleyes:

Sephiroth_dude · 11-02-2009 09:43AM

Sierra Oscar wrote: »

Better than Jehovah Witnesses!

There annoying alright,Whenever I see them coming to the house now I just dont bother answering the door.

Big Wave · 11-02-2009 10:06AM

delta_bravo wrote: »

You know you dont have to answer the door?

Oh yeah, I forgot about the X-ray vision & crystal ball we all have - sorry about that. :rolleyes:

Caoimhín · 11-02-2009 10:17AM

I thought that door to door sales of products or services was illegal now.

Quazzie · 11-02-2009 10:20AM

My Uncle is a Jehovah Witness,(I know, WTF?) and he was knocking on doors one day when eh eventually knocked on the local Parish priests door. The Priest opened the door and was obviously not impressed. My Uncle started talking to him politely, spinning his usual JW story, to which the Priest replied "You won't get anyt interest for your lot here, and in none of the houses aroud here either" to which my Uncle replies as quick as a switch "Why, Do ya own them all do ya?"

RaverRo808 · 11-02-2009 10:25AM

Was at home one day and heard the doorbell ring,the auldlad answered it,I was upstairs watching telly not really paying attention to the conversation downstairs,just heard afew bits and pieces,but I heard your man who rang the doorbell ask the auldlad to get him a bill,my da being the gobsh*te goes in and gets it,and came down curious,see this little 'swarrr' with a footballer haircut about 17,looked like he was wearing his da's suit,I asked him who he was,says he's from BT,the da comes back with the bill,then I copped what he was up to,he was looking for the account num off the eircom bill so he could switch the phone to BT(I work for Eircom),I quizzed him about this and he got very nervous,and ran from the door like lightning,roaring 'their on to us lads',about 2 other swarrs beling it down the street after him,very strange!.......................................................But in general I used to love when religous nuts used to knock at the door,one time was having a party in the house two mormons knocked at door,we brought them in and wouldnt let them leave,kept asking them mad questions,kept offering them drinks and other lads offering them spliffs and everything,one of them caved in and had a bottle and a puff,three hours later they left,but have to say,two sound blokes.'elder and elder',really friendly mannerly,cant fault them

peasant · 11-02-2009 10:27AM

There is a reason why I never taught the dogs to sit nice and quietly when there is someone at the door.

Nothing gets rid of unwanted visitors as fast as opening the door just a bit, say "No" to whatever it is they want while an excited dog is barking its head off through the gap at the exact height of the visitors privates.

All the dog wants is for them to come in to cuddle it and play with it ..but they don't know that

mkdon05 · 11-02-2009 10:53AM

Its the Eircom phonewatch fellas i cant stand. 2 of them call the other night and start their spiel. One of them is obviously the smooth talker and the other looked like someone who just witnessed their folks at it!
-Were doing a really great deal this week
-I was offered that deal a few weeks ago by eircom and told them NO then
-but you cant be too carefull thes..................
-Listen save your breath for the next house (Close Door)

These pair of twats call the next night durin dinner

-Jesus, You 2 again
-Oh, did we already call here
- Yes you Fu*kin did, last night, and I told you to forget it.
-we dont have you crossed off our list.
-Believe me, I never forget a smarmy face! (Close Door)

Another guy called on night during a big match trying to sell something,
I hurredly told him i wasn't interested and told him I was watching the match, when he popped his head in to see the game on and sighed.
I felt sorry for him though, he obviously wanted to be somewhere watching the match too!

Big Knox · 11-02-2009 10:57AM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

My Uncle is a Jehovah Witness,(I know, WTF?) and he was knocking on doors one day when eh eventually knocked on the local Parish priests door. The Priest opened the door and was obviously not impressed. My Uncle started talking to him politely, spinning his usual JW story, to which the Priest replied "You won't get anyt interest for your lot here, and in none of the houses aroud here either" to which my Uncle replies as quick as a switch "Why, Do ya own them all do ya?"

Quite the master of whitty retorts!! :pac:

Loomis · 11-02-2009 11:10AM

My parents were in Florida last month for a couple of weeks and rented a villa. Two days before they came home there's a knock at the door...

Dad answers and is met by a typical American surfer looking fella who opens with
"Hi, are you a violent person?" I **** you not.
"Eh, no."
"Oh good. Because you just never know...
Anyway, I'm your neighbour. I'm moving to the UK soon and I'll be working for the BBC. Do you know the BBC?"
Didn't seem to register with him that it was a holiday home that has a constant stream of people coming and going so "neighbour" really meant feck all.
"Eh, ye..."
"And I'm going to be working with John Cleese. Do you know John Cleese?"
"Ye...."
"Well anyway, my dad wants me to earn my own money til then so I'm selling these magazines."
"What magazines?"
He hands my dad a card with pictures of magazines on them which made very little sense.
"Well how much are they?"
"Oh they're $40 each sir. And we like you to buy 3 at a time."
"Eh, I don't think I'd be interested."
"Well if you don't want them you could just give them away. Or send them to the guys in Eye-raq."
"No thanks."
He looked like someone just shot a puppy at being told no. Presumably the American people whose door he knocked on bought them without a word.

It's this type of thing that inspired my signature.

30txsbzmcu2k9w · 11-02-2009 11:23AM

Zwillinge wrote: »

I think he was a traveler after all he did come all the way from Wexford to West Dublin to sell pillows.
I was too in shock to actually say anything to him, 'cause I found it quite bizarre to be selling pillows. He was quite insistant for me to open the door also, he leaned on the doorbell and it rang for more than the average doorbell and he also knocked/banged on the door.

I was then and still am :rolleyes:

Don't want to scare you but that sounds like the pillows were just a prop to see if there's anyone home and get a gander at the security of the house.
I worked on a building site a few year's ago and a family in a Hi-ace (all in wexford jerseys too actually lol) pulled in looking for old bits of planks. Next morning the mixer and generator were gone, sly fu'ckers. :mad: seemingly it happens all the time.

Door-to-door b*stards

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