Door-to-door b*stards

Mr Benevolent

Two Aussies come to the door last Thursday. 'Gday moit, have you got basic cable?' he asks. I told him that yes, we have. Naturally I wasn't going to tell him the truth, namely that we have The Box, mainly because he might've been from NTL or whatever.

Next thing he starts his spiel and practically elbows his way past me into the house! Being polite doesn't work, and eventually I'm force to yell 'WE DON'T F*CKING WANT ANY! NOW GET OUT!'

His 'no worries mate' was barely audible on the way out.

Anybody else dealt with these c*nts?

TestTransmission

Madness

AlmightyCushion

Yeah a bunch of those mormon guys came to our door years ago. Dad opened the door to be greeted with "Hi can we have a moment of your time" or some other such shíte. My dad just said there was no one home and slammed the door in their face.

Zwillinge

Not exactly...

Last week I had a guy from Wexford trying to sell me pillows.
I was standing in my pyjamas looking very confused and shook my head before he went off shouting to his friend/coworker "Have you got the quilts with you?"

Sierra Oscar

Better than Jehovah Witnesses!

BrokenArrows

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

.......My dad just said there was no one home and slammed the door in their face.

thats like someone asking are you asleep and getting the reply "yes".

delta_bravo

Confab wrote: »

Anybody else dealt with these c*nts?

You know you dont have to answer the door?

PrivateEye

Speaking of b*stards going door to door, I really can't wait for the 'lightbulbs and backtracks' Party to knock on my door ahead of the local elections.Bring-er-on.

Religious people can be fun too. We get the 'give money for the local oldfolks' people around as well, and everyone naturally puts the hand in the phoca for themselves, but the God Squad are never welcome. 7.43 on a matchnight lads?

Abi

delta_bravo wrote: »

You know you dont have to answer the door?

I have every entitlement to answer my door. If its not a family member or friend- expect píss-taking and / or karatchy.

qz

It's still somewhat on topic.

dollybird09

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

Mossy Monk

dollybird09 wrote: »

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

She should have hunted him down and slit his throat. that would learn him.

Biggins

Priest came to my door once when I was in the kitchen. Pregnant (showing large) wife opened the door. He pushed her aside, trapping her between the wall and the door, squeezing her there till she fell down. I heard her collapse and the door bang.
I came out, saw him on the sofa demanding to know who lived in the house (we were new to the area), saw my wife on the ground in the hallway further down crying to me "he pushed me!"
Well that was it - priest or no priest - I smacked him, the fcuker!
The hard neck of him He refused to move! So I called the cops. Honest.
They know me well in a legal law abiding sense (in the cop station "'er we just had a call from XXXX") and they were here in a flash.
Just in time to see me throwing the fcuker by his collar out the door!
I sent in an official complaint to HQ in Armagh too!

DundalkDuffman

I take the approach that nothing good can come from answering the door. Any of my family or friends know to sms ahead or phone.

January

Zwillinge wrote: »

Not exactly...

Last week I had a guy from Wexford trying to sell me pillows.
I was standing in my pyjamas looking very confused and shook my head before he went off shouting to his friend/coworker "Have you got the quilts with you?"

Are you sure he wasn't a Traveler? A guy knocked on my front door about three weeks ago and when I answered said "Is your Mammy there?". I said "I am the Mammy..." and he was like "oh right... Do you wanna buy these memory foam pillows, €30 for two" I said "No thanks" and he said "I tell ya what give us a tenner and you can have them"

I had to tell him I'd no money in the house before he'd leave the bleedin' garden!!

FlutterinBantam

Biggins wrote: »

Priest came to my door once when I was in the kitchen. Pregnant (showing large) wife opened the door. He pushed her aside, trapping her between the wall and the door, squeezing her there till she fell down. I heard her collapse and the door bang.
I came out, saw him on the sofa demanding to know who lived in the house (we were new to the area), saw my wife on the ground in the hallway further down crying to me "he pushed me!"
Well that was it - priest or no priest - I smacked him, the fcuker!
The hard neck of him He refused to move! So I called the cops. Honest.
They know me well in a legal law abiding sense (in the cop station "'er we just had a call from XXXX") and they were here in a flash.
Just in time to see me throwing the fcuker by his collar out the door!
I sent in an official complaint to HQ in Armagh too!

You seem to be a rather angry kind of person?

Húrin

I expect door salesmen of goods will increase with this recession, and the religious ones will decrease. Most of them are OK I find. Get a few beggars too, they're always grateful for food and change.

dollybird09 wrote: »

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

What a deranged tool. It's a pity that nuts like him discourage people from giving soup to sane beggars.

I once spent a fiver on a beef sandwich for a beggar in town who asked me for money. When I offered it to him, he told me he was 'a vegetarian', and that I could 'choke on it'. Fair enough it's not exactly what he wanted, but a sandwich, is a sandwich.

Biggins wrote: »

Priest came to my door once when I was in the kitchen. Pregnant (showing large) wife opened the door. He pushed her aside, trapping her between the wall and the door, squeezing her there till she fell down. I heard her collapse and the door bang.

Unbelievable, I've never met such an ass of a priest.

chickenhawk

When I was 15 some Jehovah Witnesses came to my house. I opened the door and got the usual 'are your parents in' so I replied 'I don't know, what do they look like?'

Que confused look on their faces and me closing door.

Mr Benevolent

You seem to be a rather angry kind of person?

Are you saying you wouldn't be angry to have someone push your pregnant wife to the floor? Perhaps you'd leave her there and invite him in for tea and biscuits? :rolleyes:

Jesus Juice

Biggins wrote: »

Priest came to my door once when I was in the kitchen. Pregnant (showing large) wife opened the door. He pushed her aside, trapping her between the wall and the door, squeezing her there till she fell down. I heard her collapse and the door bang.
I came out, saw him on the sofa demanding to know who lived in the house (we were new to the area), saw my wife on the ground in the hallway further down crying to me "he pushed me!"
Well that was it - priest or no priest - I smacked him, the fcuker!
The hard neck of him He refused to move! So I called the cops. Honest.
They know me well in a legal law abiding sense (in the cop station "'er we just had a call from XXXX") and they were here in a flash.
Just in time to see me throwing the fcuker by his collar out the door!
I sent in an official complaint to HQ in Armagh too!

Fuckin Cuntbag!!...why did he push her!?

Biggins

Húrin wrote: »

...Unbelievable, I've never met such an ass of a priest.

You should visit my town. We had one of worst utterly corrupt priests in the country (but thats for another thread...)

Biggins

Jesus Juice wrote: »

Fuckin Cuntbag!!...why did he push her!?

It was raining outside and he wanted to get in the house quickly - or so he told the cops!
They just ran the schite.

Biggins

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

You seem to be a rather angry kind of person?

Only when extremely provoked.
Rest of the time, I'll help anyone out if poss', do the usual charity work and treat others as I'd hopefully like them to treat me and my family.

Jesus Juice

Biggins wrote: »

It was raining outside and he wanted to get in the house quickly - or so he told the cops!
They just ran the schite.

And why was he demanding to know who lives there???....fcukin priests thinking they still have control over people!:mad:

Sam Kade

Confab wrote: »

Are you saying you wouldn't be angry to have someone push your pregnant wife to the floor? Perhaps you'd leave her there and invite him in for tea and biscuits? :rolleyes:

You have to admit that the story sounds fictitious.

OneThingIKnow

Biggins wrote: »

You should visit my town. We had one of worst utterly corrupt priests in the country (but thats for another thread...)

The priest we had when I was in primary school raped half of my class. Father Tony Walsh. The gardai arrested him in 1992 and he got only 8 years but the b*stard got out in 4.

Jesus Juice

Sam Kade wrote: »

You have to admit that the story sounds fictitious.

Well i believe Biggins hes not exactly the type to make up a keyboard warrior story!!.....or is he?

Mr Benevolent

Has anyone else seen those cable f*ckers?

Puck

Biggins wrote: »

You should visit my town. We had one of worst utterly corrupt priests in the country (but thats for another thread...)

Just out of curiosity Biggins, why did he demand to know who was living in the house? You handled the situation quite well in my opinion, I'd have probably reacted the same way, and I work for the church (albeit not the RCC).

Biggins

Jesus Juice wrote: »

And why was he demanding to know who lives there???....fcukin priests thinking they still have control over people!:mad:

He wanted to know I'm guessing for his church funds list (you know the envelopes that come thru the door with your name on it) or something

Sam Kade wrote: »

You have to admit that the story sounds fictitious.

I wish it bloody was but I swear, sadly it happened.

Nehaxak

I got 3 "miraculous medals" of the virgin Mary from some old dear who called to my flat about a year ago. She was a lovely woman and I had a great philosophical chat with her about me not believing in God and all that jazz. She must've spent about a half hour with me at the door and we had a great chat.

Mormons though I just tell to fck off and the only politicians that call around to the doors here in person are from Sinn Fein, at the last election even driving old people (LOADS of them) to and from the local polling station in the school. Fianna Fail send around some agency workers or bum fluffed teenage fans with Fianna Fail calendars every January. I've never seen Labour, Greens or Fine Gael EVER call to anyones door here. NTL call a lot and Sky spam post once every two weeks or so.

Other than that it's the bloke selling the dodgy dvd's :cool:

OneThingIKnow

I hate door to door sales people. Years and years ago, some salesman come to the door selling some window cleaning thingy that was supposed to be "absolutely amazing" that was been advertised on telly. Me da acted really interested and tricked him into cleaning all our front windows before telling him he wasn't interested then shut the door in his face.

RoundyMooney

Zwillinge wrote: »

Not exactly...

Last week I had a guy from Wexford trying to sell me pillows.
I was standing in my pyjamas looking very confused and shook my head before he went off shouting to his friend/coworker "Have you got the quilts with you?"

Just as well you weren't female...

Sam Kade

I have become an expert in hunting combined insurance salesmen/women from my door; only problem is they keep coming back as they keep changing their sales people.

Overheal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf4ev4DuXIY

RoundyMooney

On another note, those pricks with the "Saev Teh Childeren!" clothing stickers are now getting regulation phunts up the hole anytime they call to Chez Roundy. My biggest problem is catching the shaven headed knapsack wearing vermin in the act.

I don't give a feck if they're dole dodgers on minimum wage, they're shoving sh1te thru my letter box and getting under the counter cash for it; ergo they can, politely, shove off.

White_Feather

dollybird09 wrote: »

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

Prick

OneThingIKnow

^^^

Whatta bollocks. He was most likely looking for money for drugs or drink.

Overheal

White_Feather wrote: »

Prick

Wait a minute: I agree. What a prick.

Scarinae

A few years ago, my mother was putting Immac on her legs in the bathroom when the doorbell rang. She assumed it was our blind next-door neighbour, who had said she was going to call around that morning to return some teacups she had borrowed for a party. So my mother went to answer the door in her knickers, and as she walked down the hall our two labradors brushed past her and ran to the door, getting depilatory cream all over their fur in the process. Anyway, she opened the door in a t-shirt and knickers, with cream all over her legs, trying to hold back two overexcited dogs, and realised it was actually two rather horrified Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep! They'd been bothering us for weeks, but they never came back, must have written us off as a madhouse!
Incidentally, mum had to hose down the dogs in the back garden so they wouldn't lose half their fur, and she ended up leaving the cream on for so long that she got a rash on her legs. She said it was worth it to get rid of those religious nutters though

Nehaxak

Fishie wrote: »

A few years ago, my mother was putting Immac on her legs in the bathroom when the doorbell rang. She assumed it was our blind next-door neighbour, who had said she was going to call around that morning to return some teacups she had borrowed for a party. So my mother went to answer the door in her knickers, and as she walked down the hall our two labradors brushed past her and ran to the door, getting depilatory cream all over their fur in the process. Anyway, she opened the door in a t-shirt and knickers, with cream all over her legs, trying to hold back two overexcited dogs, and realised it was actually two rather horrified Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep! They'd been bothering us for weeks, but they never came back, must have written us off as a madhouse!
Incidentally, mum had to hose down the dogs in the back garden so they wouldn't lose half their fur, and she ended up leaving the cream on for so long that she got a rash on her legs. She said it was worth it to get rid of those religious nutters though

pics or gtfo ?

walshb

Confab wrote: »

Two Aussies come to the door last Thursday. 'Gday moit, have you got basic cable?' he asks. I told him that yes, we have. Naturally I wasn't going to tell him the truth, namely that we have The Box, mainly because he might've been from NTL or whatever.

Next thing he starts his spiel and practically elbows his way past me into the house! Being polite doesn't work, and eventually I'm force to yell 'WE DON'T F*CKING WANT ANY! NOW GET OUT!'

His 'no worries mate' was barely audible on the way out.

Anybody else dealt with these c*nts?

Your mistake was opening the door in the first place!

Scarinae

Nehaxak wrote: »

pics or gtfo ?

What? I wasn't in the house when this happened, otherwise I would have answered the door obviously

Sharpshooter

dollybird09 wrote: »

little off point but still relevant to what OP is talking about...

friend's mum feels sorry for everyone!!! had a guy knock on the door and ask for money for a hostel and she told him to wait a second, closed door and poured some freshly made soup into a flask for him instead of giving him money. he thanked her repeatedly before setting on his way.... but before leaving the driveway, poured the soup all over her car..... I presume he wasn't really all that hungry or cold.....

White_Feather wrote: »

Prick

Overheal wrote: »

Wait a minute: I agree. What a prick.

So do I actually, he wouldn't have done that if a 6 ft well built guy had opened the door.
And it is a pity there wasn't one somewhere in the house at the time.:mad:

SV

Jehovah Witnesses' came over there once and I decided to listen to them.


they're a boring bunch of fúckers.
they didn't even want to talk about anything interesting..just some God lad.

Sharpshooter

Jesus, don't I know it.
They have a problem understanding how Mary got pregnant.
I told them she was clean as a whistle.
Immaculate,in fact.

Amalgam

RoundyMooney wrote: »

On another note, those pricks with the "Saev Teh Childeren!" clothing stickers are now getting regulation phunts up the hole anytime they call to Chez Roundy. My biggest problem is catching the shaven headed knapsack wearing vermin in the act.

I don't give a feck if they're dole dodgers on minimum wage, they're shoving sh1te thru my letter box and getting under the counter cash for it; ergo they can, politely, shove off.

Why discourage them?! Do you not get the bags as well round your neck of the woods?

The SVP bags make great bins.. little holes as well, no trapped air, thoughful.

Back on topic, I was 'targeted' by two Jehovah's witness (women), in my late teens. I would be trapped on the doorstep, with that same look people have when contemplating jumping off a cliff. I spent 40 minutes 'debating' once, it was like a marathon, exhausted. I was too polite to tell them to f-ck off.

I was acting the maggot one week, my Mum thought it would be hilarious to invite the same two in for tea and cakes, I came home from school and jumped at the sight of them, inside..! No..! :eek:

Abi

Keep an axe near the front door. If you have a glass panel, wait till you connect eyes with the chugger / offending family member, and lick the axe.

Not likely to key the car, but might leave skiddys. Leave residue, acts as natural deterant.

jiltloop

I remember some poor bugger calling around to my house when I was living with 2 friends. We happened to be having a mad 21st birthday party with loads of people around and a bath full of drink and ice, bouncing castles out the back garden and such. So I drunkenly talked to him at the front door for about 30mins during which time he ended up offering me a job to which I replied "are you mad? sure look at the state of me, I drink like this everyday, I'd never turn up." Anyway ended up getting him into the party and he had a few beers and had a bit of cake. He's in all the blowing out the candles photos.

SV

jiltloop wrote: »

I remember some poor bugger calling around to my house when I was living with 2 friends. We happened to be having a mad 21st birthday party with loads of people around and a bath full of drink and ice, bouncing castles out the back garden and such. So I drunkenly talked to him at the front door for about 30mins during which time he ended up offering me a job to which I replied "are you mad? sure look at the state of me, I drink like this everyday, I'd never turn up." Anyway ended up getting him into the party and he had a few beers and had a bit of cake. He's in all the blowing out the candles photos.

that's fecking brilliant :D:D

Zwillinge

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Are you sure he wasn't a Traveler? A guy knocked on my front door about three weeks ago and when I answered said "Is your Mammy there?". I said "I am the Mammy..." and he was like "oh right... Do you wanna buy these memory foam pillows, €30 for two" I said "No thanks" and he said "I tell ya what give us a tenner and you can have them"

I had to tell him I'd no money in the house before he'd leave the bleedin' garden!!

I think he was a traveler after all he did come all the way from Wexford to West Dublin to sell pillows.
I was too in shock to actually say anything to him, 'cause I found it quite bizarre to be selling pillows. He was quite insistant for me to open the door also, he leaned on the doorbell and it rang for more than the average doorbell and he also knocked/banged on the door.

RoundyMooney wrote: »

Just as well you weren't female...

I was then and still am :rolleyes: