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Funniest accident you've seen/done Merge

24

Comments

  • #32
    segasega
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 785 ✭✭✭segasega


    I was in a clothes shop in Barcelona. Looking at some jeans on a shelf, I noticed what I thought was a manikin falling towards me, so I turned stuck out my arms and went "Aaawww". I think you can guess what happened, but Ill tell you anyway. It wasn't a manikin at all but a men just browsing the store too. He just gave me a funny look and walked off. This set my girlfriend telling everyone this story for at least two months after.

    Writing it down it seems more like a "you had to be there" kind of a story.


  • #33
    Zangetsu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,218 ✭✭✭Zangetsu


    2 pretty funny ones...

    Was in the shop with a few mates when I was younger, we used to hang around outside annoying the owner most of the day (such productive times!). Anyway, one of the lads, most unlucky bastard on the planet walks up to the counter shelf and picks up a mars bar, the whole rack somehow collapsed and chocolate went everywhere. Cue about 15 kids filling their pockets and flying out the door.

    The face on the owner was priceless!


    The other was in the local superquinn. One of the floor staff was moving one of those tall carts filled with wine, he was at the back of the store, I was at the checkout. All you could here was a gigantic smash and when I turned around there was a flood of booze flowing down every isle. Laughed my ass off (then hit the deck with a straw)...

    :pac:


  • #34
    Michellenman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭Michellenman


    Was in work one day discussing cakes with a customer, showing her what we had. She reached into her bag to take out the name of the cake she was looking for that she had written on a piece of paper. As she pulled her hand out something came out with it so I bent over to pick it up, being the helpful salesperson that I am, thing is though, I didn't look to see what it was first. I only realised when I picked it up that it was a pantyliner, out of its packaging.

    Scarlet for me.


  • #35
    Loco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 742 ✭✭✭Loco


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

    post of the day? wtf.

    thats not even remotely humorous


  • #36
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Loco wrote: »
    post of the day? wtf.

    thats not even remotely humorous

    Not if you're the old lady anyway


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  • #37
    Quazzie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 30,772 ✭✭✭✭Quazzie


    Loco wrote: »
    post of the day? wtf.

    thats not even remotely humorous
    Thanks loco. I read that post again and its just gotten funnier... That Turd and his little adventures.. he just cracks me right up!!


  • #38
    delllat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭delllat


    some idiot today in jarvis centre carrying 24 bottles on his shoulder

    smashed the lot

    lovely smell of beer though


  • #39
    Diabhal Beag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,238 ✭✭✭✭Diabhal Beag


    Me getting a job. HAHAHAHAHA SOCIETY :pac:


  • #40
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Years and years ago, was no more than 12 myself, I was in a shop with my ma (Crumlin Shopping Centre I think) and the shop had a nearly full length mirror on the wall. A little kid - no more than 2 or 3 - was running around and must have thought it was an entrance to another room, because he ran right into it, and bounced right back, cartoon-style.


  • #41
    briantwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 505 ✭✭✭briantwin


    I worked in that DIY shop when that guy threw the full bag of peat on top of the paint spillage.Well if it was atlantic homecare then i did. That was funny!

    One of the funniest shop based incidents i saw was when i was working in SuperValu stacking 2L bottles of coke on a shelf. and if you've ever done the job there is nothing more unsatisfying then being left with 1 or 2 bottles out of a case. So i was jamming the last bottle in with a bit of force awhen it gave. I looked up the aisle and in slow motion watched a bottle of coke fall off the shelf and bounce then explode between an old woman and a young couple walking with their trollies. Coke going all over the place and the 3 of them screaming their heads off.


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  • #42
    Quackles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,484 ✭✭✭Quackles


    I slipped on a banana skin in Tesco. It was like one of those cartoon slips, went sliding along then landed right on my arse. Seriously wounded my pride :( My housemate at the time was with me, she couldn't breathe because she was laughing so hard, the cow :)


  • #43
    Valmont
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,849 ✭✭✭Valmont


    I work in Woodies and I had to clean some piss that fell out of an old incontinent woman. Although now that I think of it, that wasn't funny at all. Just feckin horrible.


  • #44
    Kirnsy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 970 ✭✭✭Kirnsy


    Valmont wrote: »
    I work in Woodies and I had to clean some piss that fell out of an old incontinent woman. Although now that I think of it, that wasn't funny at all. Just feckin horrible.


    lovely description there..


  • #45
    Pen1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Pen1987


    VIDEO INCLUDED!!! nnnooooo... I'll have to find it and re-upload.

    Working on the fitting rooms in Debenhams about a year ago. A fella I was working came past me from the stockroom and stopped to talk to me. I had nothing much to do so with went over to the towels section with him chatting along the way. Being lazy, the usual. He bent down to pick up a towel off the ground and all i heard was "BURRRRUKKK", the seams of the arse of his trousers ripping.

    Cue me dying with laughter.

    He stood up and put his back against the towel rack "Mark, get the manager"

    I whip out the video phone.

    "Mark dont be a spa, get the manager"

    I continue filming...

    "Ah you're a ****er"

    He takes a big dressing gown off the shelf and puts it on over his uniform. Starts storming over towards menswear to get a spare pair of trousers.

    I continue filming. We're looking through the rack for a pair to fit him, then a customer gets near.

    I begin filming covertly, SAS style.

    "Excuse me" she says to me dressing goaning wearing friend "Do you have this in a 34/32?"

    My friend, clearly busy with his own problems "emm, hold on, I'll check". He starts rummaging through the rack for her. About a minute later the customer goes "em, why are you wearing a dressing gown?"

    I burst out with, still almost dying laughing "cos he ripped his kacks"

    He customers first reaction was so call over her cracker of a daughter around our own age and say "Sinead, Sinead look, he's after tearing the bottom out of his trousers!"

    Tears running down my face.

    The video doesnt show it but the customer waited until he came back out of the changing rooms to see how the new trousers fitted him.


  • #46
    lovemypinkhat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 68 ✭✭lovemypinkhat


    Pen1987 wrote: »

    "Excuse me" she says to me dressing goaning wearing friend "Do you have this in a 34/32?"


    lmao! :pac:


  • #47
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    One day in my teens, I decided to go into Dunnes for a laugh after nearly drinking an entire bottle of Powers to myself. I was having a browse around the menswear when I suddenly got that awful cramp feeling in my stomach. I just started running towards the exit hoping to get to the toilet at least before I projectiled all over the place. No such luck however. I ended up diving in slow motion between a rack of womens dresses and absolutely puked my ring up for a good 5 minutes straight, hidden inside the rack.

    All the puking sobered me up slightly, so I had a quick look around and decided to get the **** out of the shop as fast as I could. As I was heading away from the rack, a girl and her friend had just started looking through the dresses on it. I remember hearing the girl say something about the lovely patterns on the skirt before there was a scream and I saw the skirt being thrown into the air. It was completey blanketed in vomit, which was now also on her handbag and her own pants as she was sizing it up before she realised. To this day I wish I could watch the CCTV of it just once. :D


  • #48
    phasers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    DarkJager wrote: »
    One day in my teens, I decided to go into Dunnes for a laugh after nearly drinking an entire bottle of Powers to myself. :D

    That's one depressing adolescence.


  • #49
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    phasers wrote: »
    That's one depressing adolescence.

    Not really :confused: You've never been in a shop drunk?


  • #50
    The Citizen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78 ✭✭The Citizen


    The scum thought this was very funny....until I showed up.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055471146

    :mad:


  • #51
    00112984
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭00112984


    A friend's brother works in an off-license. A customer had just gone outside the door and there was an almighty smash. Friend's bro couldn't go outside as there were other customer but checked it on the CCTV afterwards.

    The customer came in, bought a crate of bottled Heineken (24 bottles) and went outside the door with the crate balanced on his shoulder by one hand to wait for his lift. Obviously, he started to keep the pressure of the weight of the crate and hoiked it up only to do it too hard and fast and feck the whole thing over his shoulder where every single smashed to bits, leaving the poor fella standing in the middle of a pool of beer and glass.

    Best this is that the guy working in the offie recorded it onto his phone from the CCTV and sent it to all of us. It's brilliant.


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  • #52
    Princessa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 581 ✭✭✭Princessa


    I nearly fell off my bed laughing with the post about somebody's little cousin taking a dump right in the middle of xtravision. :D


  • #53
    WooPeeA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,136 ✭✭✭WooPeeA


    It's not in the shop, but beside shop. Picture taken in Krakow. No comment needed.. :pac:

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dUe7qPQtcrQ/SPHiSNYtivI/AAAAAAAAAgU/UYs-jTV2BlI/s400/DSC_0007.JPG

    (picture not taken by me by the way)


  • #54
    foundry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭foundry


    Princessa wrote: »
    I nearly fell off my bed laughing with the post about somebody's little cousin taking a dump right in the middle of xtravision. :D


    In the interior shop i worked in i was walkin down the aisle lookin at a lil boy squatin.

    I thought "he isn't"...

    Oh yes he did. he left a lil poo on the carpet.

    He runs over to him mammy and screams "look at my baby sasuage from last nite" !!!

    She was scarlet. Picked it up wit tissue and ran out the door so fast there was skid marks.. ha no pun intended.....


  • #55
    Ross_Mahon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭Ross_Mahon


    There's always a kid wrecking the shelves in work, Climbing around the bottom ones and knocking down all the stock, and the mother knowing what the child is doing, Continues to let him do it, after a huge mess calls the child to follow her.

    Then one day the shelve collapsed and a whole load of stuff came crashing down on the little sh*t, The mother goes bonkers and makes a huge scene trying to attract attention, Making a show of herself.

    Justice served


  • #56
    mercuroman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 177 ✭✭mercuroman


    I worked in a cinema and was working on the concessions stand. This woman walked up and asked for a small Coke and a medium Cockporn.

    Fool


  • #57
    Berty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,198 ✭✭✭✭Berty


    Myself and the GF were in her shop which was a wine warehouse and parents used to bring their kids in which was a disaster waiting to happen. All the box's of wine were stacked on palletts with bottles of wine casually yet neatly sitting on top of the box's.

    The parents could never concentrate on browsing because of little johhny running around the place.

    One day the parents were shaking waiting for him to knock down a display of wine when he said he wanted to go to the toilet. The mother politely asked if he could use the staff toilet so we agreed.

    The child slammed the staff only door so hard that it knocked off 3 bottles of dom perignon off the display outside the door. We gave them the staff discount but they still left €310 + whatever they bought lighter. Worse still they had to take that little **** home with them as well. :D


  • #58
    Jesus Juice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,111 ✭✭✭Jesus Juice


    mercuroman wrote: »
    I worked in a cinema and was working on the concessions stand. This woman walked up and asked for a small Coke and a medium Cockporn.

    Fool
    LOL!
    thats ****in brilliant!!!


  • #59
    david
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,694 ✭✭✭david


    Once saw a clown cack his pants in Centra.


  • #60
    Pistol
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Pistol


    Working in a supermarket a few years ago a heavily pregnant girl bout 17/18 vomitted into the freezer all over the McCains Oven Chips.

    The more disturbing thing was that it wasn't something she had eaten but she had drank one too many Fat Frogs the night before.

    I'm sure she's a fine mother now tho!!!!


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  • #61
    foundry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭foundry


    Pistol wrote: »
    Working in a supermarket a few years ago a heavily pregnant girl bout 17/18 vomitted into the freezer all over the McCains Oven Chips.

    The more disturbing thing was that it wasn't something she had eaten but she had drank one too many Fat Frogs the night before.

    I'm sure she's a fine mother now tho!!!!


    That is awful..
    Smelly...... lol


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