Funniest accident you've seen/done Merge

foundry

I work in a large interiors shop and one day a lady came in to look around.

I happened to notice her as she had a large tin of paint (she must of
bought it next door in DIY shop) with her, it looked to be weighing her down. I was walking towards her to offer some assistance when (in slow mo now!!!) the handle of the tin snaps, the tin starts to fall, then roll (with no seal on it) and then before I knew it a puddle had formed of bright RED paint all over the carpet. The customer started to shriek, followed by shout, followed very closely by tears!! Was hilarious to see a grown woman FREAKIN out so much. She got down on her hands n knees and started to clean it up with her pocket sized kleenax tissues!! needless to say this didnt help as the paint was gushing in every direction.

My manager came onto the scene and the customer asked her for towels. Fair play to the customer she spent a solid hour trying to mop it up!

That was few months ago there is stil a stain bout 8 ft long and the smell was horrific for two wks.


Was worth the laugh I got outta it. . :pac: :pac: Iv plenty more stories but would like to hear some of yours?

Turd Ferguson

I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

Jesus Juice

I was in my dealers house recently when i owed him cash but didnt have it so he knee-capped me.

course i can laugh about it now.

thefinalstage

foundry wrote: »

the smell was horrific for two wks.

You sure that was paint?

Quazzie

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

That story got progressively better as it went along.


That is all!

_feedback_

foundry wrote: »

I work in a large interiors shop and one day a lady came in to look around.

I happened to notice her as she had a large tin of paint (she must of
bought it next door in DIY shop) with her, it looked to be weighing her down. I was walking towards her to offer some assistance when (in slow mo now!!!) the handle of the tin snaps, the tin starts to fall, then roll (with no seal on it) and then before I knew it a puddle had formed of bright RED paint all over the carpet. The customer started to shriek, followed by shout, followed very closely by tears!! Was hilarious to see a grown woman FREAKIN out so much. She got down on her hands n knees and started to clean it up with her pocket sized kleenax tissues!! needless to say this didnt help as the paint was gushing in every direction.

My manager came onto the scene and the customer asked her for towels. Fair play to the customer she spent a solid hour trying to mop it up!

That was few months ago there is stil a stain bout 8 ft long and the smell was horrific for two wks.


Was worth the laugh I got outta it. . :pac: :pac: Iv plenty more stories but would like to hear some of yours?

I was going to do the whole "I went in to a furniture shop ... annoying assistant .. red paint on floor" thing. But I couldn't be arsed tbh.

The_Minister

thelastangryman wrote: »

You sure that was paint?

ewwwwww!

whiskeyman

I was in a large homeware / hardware store in Stillorgan early on Sat morning a few years ago, when wandering around for wallpaper. While walking past some of the bathroom displays, I saw a little girl sat on one of the display toilets with her pants down and happily doing her business. Her mother must have lost sight of her, and was mortified when she found her!! I couldn't stop laughing!!! Would have hated to be the staff member who had to clean that one up!!

RandolphEsq

Girl broke her finger playing mercy where I work!

phasers

I was in a pet shop in town and a dog ran in and knocked over a display rack of collars and leads. The owner comes out of his office and goes "I f*cking hate animals."

PurpleBerry

BrightEyes wrote: »

Girl broke her finger playing mercy where I work!

What's "mercy"?

phasers

Neesa wrote: »

What's "mercy"?

That's what Hitler said! :pac:

Abi

Neesa wrote: »

What's "mercy"?

Oooherrr. Tis dangerous stuff.

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers. Often seen in retail establishments with mostleh young 'uns workin there. Like HMV and Gamestop.

AnonoBoy

Abigayle wrote: »

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers

In my day we called that 'drinking a few cans of cider under a bridge somewhere'.

Gummy Panda

Abigayle wrote: »

Oooherrr. Tis dangerous stuff.

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers. Often seen in retail establishments with mostleh young 'uns workin there. Like HMV and Gamestop.

so what is it?

Redpunto

my little one projectile vomited over half the floor in a barbers,, i was trying to catch it in her coat but there was just too much of it, stunk the place up something terrible.

Abi

Gummy Panda wrote: »

so what is it?

It involves the inter-locking of fingers and bending back wrists of the other player, until one or the other says mercy.

Stoopid really. Im with Anonoboy on this one, with added boy swopping.

BrokenArrows

Gummy Panda wrote: »

so what is it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rEqdZzYxW4

that is mercy

Terry

BrokenArrows wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rEqdZzYxW4

that is mercy

Yep.

Some of you never heard of mercy?
Clint Eastwood was right.

I used to always win.
The trick is to apply pressure with your little fingers. The other fingers fall after that.

Doctor DooM

I once held the door open for a one armed man and asked him:

"Do you need a hand there?"

WooPeeA

About month ago I saw one Afro-European lady with the broccoli in her hand asking salesman "How do you want for that tree?"

Hank Scorpio

WooPeeA wrote: »

About month ago I saw one Afro-European lady with the broccoli in her hand asking salesman "How do you want for that tree?"

ROFL!:D

AidanBoland

A few years ago I was in one of those big chemists, cant really remember where now though.
Anyway I was walking around looking for something when I saw these ball things on a counter, you those things there about the size of a malteser and theyre squishy with like bubblebath or something inside them.
So i was there messing with one of these but i burst it by accident, all the liquid shot out and went straight into the face of a woman about 5 feet away from me!:eek: I was mortified.
Straight away started rubbing her face and was saying how much the stuff stung her eyes, at this point an unhappy boyfriend was heading my direction, needless to say I made a quick getaway:D

Ardscoil Ris

Use to work in Superquinn in Limerick. Seen many a funny thing, but my personal favourite is with a shop lifter. He was in with his girlfriend stealing. He loaded up a full trolley worth about 700 or more Euro and casually walked past the Super scan till thinking nobody would notice because the place was packed.

Anyway, security was on to him and were on their way down. He spotted them and took off into the parking lot still with the trolley and girlfriend. I was working on the tills, but was sent out to bring the trolleys into the bay area so I saw all this. The trolley full of stolen goods was slowing him down so he ditched it.

His girlfriend was still trying to keep up with him and I could hear saying "Wait for me". This scumbag then stops to grab his girlfriend, but instead of getting her to safety he pushes her into the two security guards following him knocking her and both them over making his getaway. I thought it was so funny as I was thinking: "Ah look, he's getting his girl to safety...oh wait..no...he's using her as a bowling ball to knock over security guards."

Talk about selling out your other half. He was never caught and Superquinn pressed charges against his girlfriend.

Good choice love!

gerrycollins

the shop lifting ones are the best,

one woman I caught protested her innocence but follow me to the office peacefully, there she spoke to her mother about how much they would get off my employers for false arrest and that they were never in trouble before, and that she needed her "tablets" as she was having a panic attack.

Anyway half her shopping was robbed and when the gardi came they were on first name basis with each other.

Or the very well to do woman who I caught after a short chase down the street who proceeded to lay on the ground in front of cars willing them to driver over her.

The kids who do a brown number in the school pants when we ring their parents so many i lost count.

DonalN

worked with this bird in a shoe shop years ago. she told us how she was giving her cat 'personality' pills as it seemed depressed.

Carroller

I shìt myself

Sam Vimes

A friend who worked in a large diy store told me once that paint spilled on the ground and one of the staff was told to put peat on it to soak it up. He took one of those massive bags and plonked it down onto the paint, still sealed in the bag. Paint splashed everywhere and he walked away, job done

When i worked in dunnes, they put in new shelves one day, including one that was about 20 metres long. They'd forgot to put supports on one side but the manager said it'd be fine. The side it landed on had tea and a few rows of cups and marmite that smashed and was impossible to clean up. The other side was full of peas and beans. So the side that fell had sharp stuff and the side that ended up on top had heavy stuff. Apparently a customer had just walked off the lane when it fell. Good times

UpCork

Two very embarassing things happened to me. One as a child and one as an adult.

When I was about 5 or 6, I'd the day off school (must have been a Holy Day or something like that) and I wasn't feeling the best. However, I hadn't told my Mum as I really wanted to go visit Granny that day. On the way to visit Granny, my Aunt who was minding me at the time took me into town as she had a few things to get for Gran. Whatever smell I got in there, didn't mix well with the upset stomach I had & before I had a chance to tell my Aunt that I was feeling upwell, I upchucked everywhere. Only problem was, I didn't just vomit on the ground, I managed to somehow puke all over the vegetables. My poor Aunt, was there trying to apologise to the manager, but also trying to get me to the loo as quick as she could to clean me up. I laugh at it now, but it was an embarassing day.

A few years ago I was in the shop in college & I'd purchased the newspaper or something like that. As I was leaving, something on the shelf caught my attention and I turned back to have a look. However, the floor was wet and I went flying. I had the summery shoes on me (slip on version) and as I fell I naturally put my hands out to save myself as I knew if I didn't my head would end up on the corner of the shelf. After impact, I thought right up I'll get and leave the shop as fast as I can as I was totally mortified. The shop worker (who was about the same age as I was then - early 20s) came over to see was I alright. I was mortified, and mumbled 'I'm fine thanks' as I picked up my belongings from the ground. Worse thing was when I turned round, he handed me my shoe back. When I'd fallen, my shoe had flown off and went across the shop - so to add to the embarassment, I had to stop & put my shoe back on. For months (even a year afterwards) when I passed that shop, I always looked to make sure that guy wasn't in there before I went in to buy anything.

Slidey

While working in Dunnes on the deli counter a few years ago.

Used to get all the chicken fat (double yuck) and fill the trays with ice to cool it before loading it into double layered black bin bags.

Young fella who had just started did this but didnt use enough ice prior to filling the bag.

He was walking across the shop floor while struggling with the weight of the bag when the bag melted and 20 litres of chicken fat and slop went all over his leg and floor.

Was fcuking gas to see the townies in a flap trying to clean it up and stop the slick with tubs and tubs of salt!

Gary ITR

My young cousin dropped his pants in an xtra vision and took a dump right in the middle of the floor.

segasega

I was in a clothes shop in Barcelona. Looking at some jeans on a shelf, I noticed what I thought was a manikin falling towards me, so I turned stuck out my arms and went "Aaawww". I think you can guess what happened, but Ill tell you anyway. It wasn't a manikin at all but a men just browsing the store too. He just gave me a funny look and walked off. This set my girlfriend telling everyone this story for at least two months after.

Writing it down it seems more like a "you had to be there" kind of a story.

Zangetsu

2 pretty funny ones...

Was in the shop with a few mates when I was younger, we used to hang around outside annoying the owner most of the day (such productive times!). Anyway, one of the lads, most unlucky bastard on the planet walks up to the counter shelf and picks up a mars bar, the whole rack somehow collapsed and chocolate went everywhere. Cue about 15 kids filling their pockets and flying out the door.

The face on the owner was priceless!


The other was in the local superquinn. One of the floor staff was moving one of those tall carts filled with wine, he was at the back of the store, I was at the checkout. All you could here was a gigantic smash and when I turned around there was a flood of booze flowing down every isle. Laughed my ass off (then hit the deck with a straw)...

:pac:

Michellenman

Was in work one day discussing cakes with a customer, showing her what we had. She reached into her bag to take out the name of the cake she was looking for that she had written on a piece of paper. As she pulled her hand out something came out with it so I bent over to pick it up, being the helpful salesperson that I am, thing is though, I didn't look to see what it was first. I only realised when I picked it up that it was a pantyliner, out of its packaging.

Scarlet for me.

Loco

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

post of the day? wtf.

thats not even remotely humorous

phasers

Loco wrote: »

post of the day? wtf.

thats not even remotely humorous

Not if you're the old lady anyway

Quazzie

Loco wrote: »

post of the day? wtf.

thats not even remotely humorous

Thanks loco. I read that post again and its just gotten funnier... That Turd and his little adventures.. he just cracks me right up!!

delllat

some idiot today in jarvis centre carrying 24 bottles on his shoulder

smashed the lot

lovely smell of beer though

Diabhal Beag

Me getting a job. HAHAHAHAHA SOCIETY :pac:

stovelid

Years and years ago, was no more than 12 myself, I was in a shop with my ma (Crumlin Shopping Centre I think) and the shop had a nearly full length mirror on the wall. A little kid - no more than 2 or 3 - was running around and must have thought it was an entrance to another room, because he ran right into it, and bounced right back, cartoon-style.

briantwin

I worked in that DIY shop when that guy threw the full bag of peat on top of the paint spillage.Well if it was atlantic homecare then i did. That was funny!

One of the funniest shop based incidents i saw was when i was working in SuperValu stacking 2L bottles of coke on a shelf. and if you've ever done the job there is nothing more unsatisfying then being left with 1 or 2 bottles out of a case. So i was jamming the last bottle in with a bit of force awhen it gave. I looked up the aisle and in slow motion watched a bottle of coke fall off the shelf and bounce then explode between an old woman and a young couple walking with their trollies. Coke going all over the place and the 3 of them screaming their heads off.

Quackles

I slipped on a banana skin in Tesco. It was like one of those cartoon slips, went sliding along then landed right on my arse. Seriously wounded my pride My housemate at the time was with me, she couldn't breathe because she was laughing so hard, the cow

Valmont

I work in Woodies and I had to clean some piss that fell out of an old incontinent woman. Although now that I think of it, that wasn't funny at all. Just feckin horrible.

Kirnsy

Valmont wrote: »

I work in Woodies and I had to clean some piss that fell out of an old incontinent woman. Although now that I think of it, that wasn't funny at all. Just feckin horrible.

lovely description there..

Pen1987

VIDEO INCLUDED!!! nnnooooo... I'll have to find it and re-upload.

Working on the fitting rooms in Debenhams about a year ago. A fella I was working came past me from the stockroom and stopped to talk to me. I had nothing much to do so with went over to the towels section with him chatting along the way. Being lazy, the usual. He bent down to pick up a towel off the ground and all i heard was "BURRRRUKKK", the seams of the arse of his trousers ripping.

Cue me dying with laughter.

He stood up and put his back against the towel rack "Mark, get the manager"

I whip out the video phone.

"Mark dont be a spa, get the manager"

I continue filming...

"Ah you're a ****er"

He takes a big dressing gown off the shelf and puts it on over his uniform. Starts storming over towards menswear to get a spare pair of trousers.

I continue filming. We're looking through the rack for a pair to fit him, then a customer gets near.

I begin filming covertly, SAS style.

"Excuse me" she says to me dressing goaning wearing friend "Do you have this in a 34/32?"

My friend, clearly busy with his own problems "emm, hold on, I'll check". He starts rummaging through the rack for her. About a minute later the customer goes "em, why are you wearing a dressing gown?"

I burst out with, still almost dying laughing "cos he ripped his kacks"

He customers first reaction was so call over her cracker of a daughter around our own age and say "Sinead, Sinead look, he's after tearing the bottom out of his trousers!"

Tears running down my face.

The video doesnt show it but the customer waited until he came back out of the changing rooms to see how the new trousers fitted him.

lovemypinkhat

Pen1987 wrote: »

"Excuse me" she says to me dressing goaning wearing friend "Do you have this in a 34/32?"

lmao! :pac:

DarkJager

One day in my teens, I decided to go into Dunnes for a laugh after nearly drinking an entire bottle of Powers to myself. I was having a browse around the menswear when I suddenly got that awful cramp feeling in my stomach. I just started running towards the exit hoping to get to the toilet at least before I projectiled all over the place. No such luck however. I ended up diving in slow motion between a rack of womens dresses and absolutely puked my ring up for a good 5 minutes straight, hidden inside the rack.

All the puking sobered me up slightly, so I had a quick look around and decided to get the **** out of the shop as fast as I could. As I was heading away from the rack, a girl and her friend had just started looking through the dresses on it. I remember hearing the girl say something about the lovely patterns on the skirt before there was a scream and I saw the skirt being thrown into the air. It was completey blanketed in vomit, which was now also on her handbag and her own pants as she was sizing it up before she realised. To this day I wish I could watch the CCTV of it just once.

phasers

DarkJager wrote: »

One day in my teens, I decided to go into Dunnes for a laugh after nearly drinking an entire bottle of Powers to myself.

That's one depressing adolescence.

DarkJager

phasers wrote: »

That's one depressing adolescence.

Not really You've never been in a shop drunk?

The Citizen

The scum thought this was very funny....until I showed up.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055471146

:mad:

00112984

A friend's brother works in an off-license. A customer had just gone outside the door and there was an almighty smash. Friend's bro couldn't go outside as there were other customer but checked it on the CCTV afterwards.

The customer came in, bought a crate of bottled Heineken (24 bottles) and went outside the door with the crate balanced on his shoulder by one hand to wait for his lift. Obviously, he started to keep the pressure of the weight of the crate and hoiked it up only to do it too hard and fast and feck the whole thing over his shoulder where every single smashed to bits, leaving the poor fella standing in the middle of a pool of beer and glass.

Best this is that the guy working in the offie recorded it onto his phone from the CCTV and sent it to all of us. It's brilliant.