Funniest accident you've seen/done Merge

foundry · 26-01-2009 05:52PM #1

I work in a large interiors shop and one day a lady came in to look around.

I happened to notice her as she had a large tin of paint (she must of
bought it next door in DIY shop) with her, it looked to be weighing her down. I was walking towards her to offer some assistance when (in slow mo now!!!) the handle of the tin snaps, the tin starts to fall, then roll (with no seal on it) and then before I knew it a puddle had formed of bright RED paint all over the carpet. The customer started to shriek, followed by shout, followed very closely by tears!! Was hilarious to see a grown woman FREAKIN out so much. She got down on her hands n knees and started to clean it up with her pocket sized kleenax tissues!! needless to say this didnt help as the paint was gushing in every direction.

My manager came onto the scene and the customer asked her for towels. Fair play to the customer she spent a solid hour trying to mop it up!

That was few months ago there is stil a stain bout 8 ft long and the smell was horrific for two wks.

Was worth the laugh I got outta it. . :pac: :pac: Iv plenty more stories but would like to hear some of yours?

Turd Ferguson · 26-01-2009 05:56PM

I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

Jesus Juice · 26-01-2009 05:58PM

I was in my dealers house recently when i owed him cash but didnt have it so he knee-capped me.

course i can laugh about it now.

thefinalstage · 26-01-2009 05:58PM

foundry wrote: »

the smell was horrific for two wks.

You sure that was paint?

Quazzie · 26-01-2009 05:59PM

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I was in a shop and this old lady was trying to get a jar or sauce off a high shelf. As I was going over to give her a hand a jar fell on her, followed by more. They were glass so it smashed on her head, cutting her face up pretty bad. Then the whole shelf collapsed on top of her. She died. I lolled.

That story got progressively better as it went along.

That is all!

_feedback_ · 26-01-2009 06:02PM

foundry wrote: »

I work in a large interiors shop and one day a lady came in to look around.

I happened to notice her as she had a large tin of paint (she must of
bought it next door in DIY shop) with her, it looked to be weighing her down. I was walking towards her to offer some assistance when (in slow mo now!!!) the handle of the tin snaps, the tin starts to fall, then roll (with no seal on it) and then before I knew it a puddle had formed of bright RED paint all over the carpet. The customer started to shriek, followed by shout, followed very closely by tears!! Was hilarious to see a grown woman FREAKIN out so much. She got down on her hands n knees and started to clean it up with her pocket sized kleenax tissues!! needless to say this didnt help as the paint was gushing in every direction.

My manager came onto the scene and the customer asked her for towels. Fair play to the customer she spent a solid hour trying to mop it up!

That was few months ago there is stil a stain bout 8 ft long and the smell was horrific for two wks.

Was worth the laugh I got outta it. . :pac: :pac: Iv plenty more stories but would like to hear some of yours?

I was going to do the whole "I went in to a furniture shop ... annoying assistant .. red paint on floor" thing. But I couldn't be arsed tbh.

The_Minister · 26-01-2009 06:10PM

thelastangryman wrote: »

You sure that was paint?

ewwwwww!

whiskeyman · 26-01-2009 06:14PM

I was in a large homeware / hardware store in Stillorgan early on Sat morning a few years ago, when wandering around for wallpaper. While walking past some of the bathroom displays, I saw a little girl sat on one of the display toilets with her pants down and happily doing her business. Her mother must have lost sight of her, and was mortified when she found her!! I couldn't stop laughing!!! Would have hated to be the staff member who had to clean that one up!!

RandolphEsq · 26-01-2009 06:18PM

Girl broke her finger playing mercy where I work!

phasers · 26-01-2009 06:22PM

I was in a pet shop in town and a dog ran in and knocked over a display rack of collars and leads. The owner comes out of his office and goes "I f*cking hate animals."

PurpleBerry · 26-01-2009 06:41PM

BrightEyes wrote: »

Girl broke her finger playing mercy where I work!

What's "mercy"?

phasers · 26-01-2009 06:44PM

Neesa wrote: »

What's "mercy"?

That's what Hitler said! :pac:

Abi · 26-01-2009 06:52PM

Neesa wrote: »

What's "mercy"?

Oooherrr. Tis dangerous stuff.

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers. Often seen in retail establishments with mostleh young 'uns workin there. Like HMV and Gamestop.

AnonoBoy · 26-01-2009 07:06PM

Abigayle wrote: »

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers

In my day we called that 'drinking a few cans of cider under a bridge somewhere'.

Gummy Panda · 26-01-2009 07:12PM

Abigayle wrote: »

Oooherrr. Tis dangerous stuff.

Its like this pre-mating ritual for teenagers. Often seen in retail establishments with mostleh young 'uns workin there. Like HMV and Gamestop.

so what is it?

Redpunto · 26-01-2009 07:23PM

my little one projectile vomited over half the floor in a barbers,, i was trying to catch it in her coat but there was just too much of it, stunk the place up something terrible.

Abi · 26-01-2009 07:24PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

so what is it?

It involves the inter-locking of fingers and bending back wrists of the other player, until one or the other says mercy.

Stoopid really. Im with Anonoboy on this one, with added boy swopping.

BrokenArrows · 26-01-2009 07:39PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

so what is it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rEqdZzYxW4

that is mercy

Terry · 26-01-2009 07:48PM

BrokenArrows wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rEqdZzYxW4

that is mercy

Yep.

Some of you never heard of mercy?
Clint Eastwood was right.

I used to always win.
The trick is to apply pressure with your little fingers. The other fingers fall after that.

Doctor DooM · 26-01-2009 07:52PM

I once held the door open for a one armed man and asked him:

"Do you need a hand there?"

WooPeeA · 26-01-2009 08:02PM

About month ago I saw one Afro-European lady with the broccoli in her hand asking salesman "How do you want for that tree?"

Hank Scorpio · 26-01-2009 08:08PM

WooPeeA wrote: »

About month ago I saw one Afro-European lady with the broccoli in her hand asking salesman "How do you want for that tree?"

ROFL!:D

AidanBoland · 26-01-2009 08:14PM

A few years ago I was in one of those big chemists, cant really remember where now though.
Anyway I was walking around looking for something when I saw these ball things on a counter, you those things there about the size of a malteser and theyre squishy with like bubblebath or something inside them.
So i was there messing with one of these but i burst it by accident, all the liquid shot out and went straight into the face of a woman about 5 feet away from me!:eek: I was mortified.
Straight away started rubbing her face and was saying how much the stuff stung her eyes, at this point an unhappy boyfriend was heading my direction, needless to say I made a quick getaway:D

Ardscoil Ris · 26-01-2009 08:18PM

Use to work in Superquinn in Limerick. Seen many a funny thing, but my personal favourite is with a shop lifter. He was in with his girlfriend stealing. He loaded up a full trolley worth about 700 or more Euro and casually walked past the Super scan till thinking nobody would notice because the place was packed.

Anyway, security was on to him and were on their way down. He spotted them and took off into the parking lot still with the trolley and girlfriend. I was working on the tills, but was sent out to bring the trolleys into the bay area so I saw all this. The trolley full of stolen goods was slowing him down so he ditched it.

His girlfriend was still trying to keep up with him and I could hear saying "Wait for me". This scumbag then stops to grab his girlfriend, but instead of getting her to safety he pushes her into the two security guards following him knocking her and both them over making his getaway. I thought it was so funny as I was thinking: "Ah look, he's getting his girl to safety...oh wait..no...he's using her as a bowling ball to knock over security guards."

Talk about selling out your other half. He was never caught and Superquinn pressed charges against his girlfriend.

Good choice love!

gerrycollins · 26-01-2009 09:12PM

the shop lifting ones are the best,

one woman I caught protested her innocence but follow me to the office peacefully, there she spoke to her mother about how much they would get off my employers for false arrest and that they were never in trouble before, and that she needed her "tablets" as she was having a panic attack.

Anyway half her shopping was robbed and when the gardi came they were on first name basis with each other.

Or the very well to do woman who I caught after a short chase down the street who proceeded to lay on the ground in front of cars willing them to driver over her.

The kids who do a brown number in the school pants when we ring their parents so many i lost count.

DonalN · 26-01-2009 11:44PM

worked with this bird in a shoe shop years ago. she told us how she was giving her cat 'personality' pills as it seemed depressed.

Carroller · 26-01-2009 11:57PM

I shìt myself

Sam Vimes · 27-01-2009 12:09AM

A friend who worked in a large diy store told me once that paint spilled on the ground and one of the staff was told to put peat on it to soak it up. He took one of those massive bags and plonked it down onto the paint, still sealed in the bag. Paint splashed everywhere and he walked away, job done

When i worked in dunnes, they put in new shelves one day, including one that was about 20 metres long. They'd forgot to put supports on one side but the manager said it'd be fine. The side it landed on had tea and a few rows of cups and marmite that smashed and was impossible to clean up. The other side was full of peas and beans. So the side that fell had sharp stuff and the side that ended up on top had heavy stuff. Apparently a customer had just walked off the lane when it fell. Good times

UpCork · 27-01-2009 01:00PM

Two very embarassing things happened to me. One as a child and one as an adult.

When I was about 5 or 6, I'd the day off school (must have been a Holy Day or something like that) and I wasn't feeling the best. However, I hadn't told my Mum as I really wanted to go visit Granny that day. On the way to visit Granny, my Aunt who was minding me at the time took me into town as she had a few things to get for Gran. Whatever smell I got in there, didn't mix well with the upset stomach I had & before I had a chance to tell my Aunt that I was feeling upwell, I upchucked everywhere. Only problem was, I didn't just vomit on the ground, I managed to somehow puke all over the vegetables. My poor Aunt, was there trying to apologise to the manager, but also trying to get me to the loo as quick as she could to clean me up. I laugh at it now, but it was an embarassing day.

A few years ago I was in the shop in college & I'd purchased the newspaper or something like that. As I was leaving, something on the shelf caught my attention and I turned back to have a look. However, the floor was wet and I went flying. I had the summery shoes on me (slip on version) and as I fell I naturally put my hands out to save myself as I knew if I didn't my head would end up on the corner of the shelf. After impact, I thought right up I'll get and leave the shop as fast as I can as I was totally mortified. The shop worker (who was about the same age as I was then - early 20s) came over to see was I alright. I was mortified, and mumbled 'I'm fine thanks' as I picked up my belongings from the ground. Worse thing was when I turned round, he handed me my shoe back. When I'd fallen, my shoe had flown off and went across the shop - so to add to the embarassment, I had to stop & put my shoe back on. For months (even a year afterwards) when I passed that shop, I always looked to make sure that guy wasn't in there before I went in to buy anything.

Slidey · 27-01-2009 04:50PM

While working in Dunnes on the deli counter a few years ago.

Used to get all the chicken fat (double yuck) and fill the trays with ice to cool it before loading it into double layered black bin bags.

Young fella who had just started did this but didnt use enough ice prior to filling the bag.

He was walking across the shop floor while struggling with the weight of the bag when the bag melted and 20 litres of chicken fat and slop went all over his leg and floor.

Was fcuking gas to see the townies in a flap trying to clean it up and stop the slick with tubs and tubs of salt!

Gary ITR · 27-01-2009 04:52PM

My young cousin dropped his pants in an xtra vision and took a dump right in the middle of the floor.

Funniest accident you've seen/done Merge

Comments