C&H sex discussion thread

Aisling(",) · 16-01-2009 12:57am

cautioner wrote: »

Interesting thread. I'm 18, in 6th year, and almost certain I can count the people in my year who've lost their V-plates on two hands. (about 90 in my year btw).
I can count them because everyone gossips about it if someone does get some poontang. Woe, the conversation-starved youth of the day...

jebus.my school must really live up to its reputation id say at least 3/4 of my year have done the nasty and theres like 127 of us.i know loads definietly have for certain.

cautioner · 16-01-2009 1:01am

Yeah, from my own experience there seems to be a fairly large divide between rural and urban schools in that regard.

Dang.

tribulus · 16-01-2009 1:08am

Deleted User wrote: »

Though it has to be said they do have an incredibly inventive secret handshake.

The Dutch rudder ? :pac:

Hindsight is great but there's really far too much of a deal made out of it in school. I can remember a few of us slagging a guy in our group because he was still a virgin :rolleyes:, such childish w*nkery behaviour that only belied our own immaturity on the matter.

Insect Overlord · 16-01-2009 1:09am

My only memories of in-school bragging about sex involved 3 lads from the rugby team gossipping like little girls. It wasn't a big deal at all for my LC group, which is funny when you think there was 140-odd guys in that year.

Aisling(",) · 16-01-2009 1:15am

No one really cares if you are or arent in my school.just as its such a gossipy all girls school and everyones connected by people out of the school aswell so lots of stuff gets around.

thusspakeblixa · 16-01-2009 1:41am

When I was in school (last year) it was a feckin HUGE thing!
People used to think you were a freak if you were a virgin.
College is different though, people genuinely don't care

Sútalún · 16-01-2009 3:22am

Meh.. It was never a big deal to me. Just never really felt under great pressure to have sex. Have had one or two occasions where I could have but no way was I/her in any way to have it.. To be honest, personally, i'd feel under more pressure to kiss girls than I would be to have the seeex with them.

Rozabeez · 16-01-2009 12:55pm

An File wrote: »

My only memories of in-school bragging about sex involved 3 lads from the rugby team gossipping like little girls. It wasn't a big deal at all for my LC group, which is funny when you think there was 140-odd guys in that year.

Yeah, you did have some pretty odd guys in your year..

Limerick Dude · 16-01-2009 1:47pm

Rozabeez wrote: »

Yeah, you did have some pretty odd guys in your year..

:pac:

Piste · 16-01-2009 5:04pm

Haha "losing their V-plates". What an excellent way to put it!

Shacklebolt · 16-01-2009 8:18pm

cautioner wrote: »

Yeah, from my own experience there seems to be a fairly large divide between rural and urban schools in that regard.

Dang.

Sure there is if you live in a place like Tipp :rolleyes:

Actually I would reckon most of my year had sex by the time they done the LC so my school was a obviously little different to yours (By 'different' I mean '****').

Ginja Ninja · 16-01-2009 10:52pm

i'm shocked and appalled that this thred survived (looks towards piste's banhammer)

and no changing of the icky ooey part (it's copyrighted)

but anywho i thought this up because we we're doing a list of who in my year has and hasn't for curiousity purposes(i've an odd year)
and over half my year has (out of 30)

i'm one of those who have not,all the ones who didn't do ty haven't
but i asked a mate(who i thought was a virgin and my lack of knowledge of this insulted me [known him since 1st class] and some other guys did know?when i asked him he said in a grave yard i was like "............:eek:........"he said he was wasted i know the girl she's got a *ahem *reputation*and personally i think it's just so wrong

16-01-2009 10:52pm

I'd love to know what percentage of people claiming to have had sex actually have done it. I wouldn't be surprised if it's fairly low.

titwank · 16-01-2009 11:02pm

This whole Irish prude thing is so Catholic. You don't see the rest of the world giving a toss about sex.

cautioner · 16-01-2009 11:12pm

United States of Wherenow?

Ginja Ninja · 16-01-2009 11:25pm

titwank wrote: »

This whole Irish prude thing is so Catholic. You don't see the rest of the world giving a toss about sex.

what else is there to toss about ................the news?(mods feel free to edit):D

whadabouchasir · 16-01-2009 11:27pm

titwank wrote: »

This whole Irish prude thing is so Catholic. You don't see the rest of the world giving a toss about sex.

Ever been to the middle east?

16-01-2009 11:30pm

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

what else is there to toss about ................the news?(mods feel free to edit):D

Well I generally toss over anything ...

cson · 17-01-2009 12:14am

This isn't going to be popular but anyway....

For all of you who are waiting for the 'right' time or 'right' person, you could be waiting an awful long time. I admire that sort of fairytale mindset to a point but there comes a time when (and I know this will be hard for some to get their head around) it becomes an immature mindset, despite most people thinking the opposite.

So the best advice I can give everyone is don't have too many inhibtions about it. I think Nike put it best: Just Do It!. Because while nothing may come from your dalliances bar a bit of fun, and good fun at that, sex is a learning experience and you can learn from a lot of people. And the point of me saying that is, when you finally meet someone you connect with it'll mean a whole lot more to you with the added advantage you'll prolly be quite good at it by that stage.

cocoa · 17-01-2009 12:27am

cson wrote: »

This isn't going to be popular but anyway....

For all of you who are waiting for the 'right' time or 'right' person, you could be waiting an awful long time. I admire that sort of fairytale mindset to a point but there comes a time when (and I know this will be hard for some to get their head around) it becomes an immature mindset, despite most people thinking the opposite.

So the best advice I can give everyone is don't have too many inhibtions about it. I think Nike put it best: Just Do It!. Because while nothing may come from your dalliances bar a bit of fun, and good fun at that, sex is a learning experience and you can learn from a lot of people. And the point of me saying that is, when you finally meet someone you connect with it'll mean a whole lot more to you with the added advantage you'll prolly be quite good at it by that stage.

ermm, as far as I can see no one's mentioned waiting for the 'right' person

I would, personally, go for not having sex with someone unless I felt close to them and was totally comfortable with them, but I'd totally acknowledge that's not for everyone. There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex as just a physical, I'd just personally prefer for it to have a strong emotional element as well. Also I wouldn't recommend to anyone waiting for the 'right' or worse still the 'perfect' person, just someone you're comfortable with and can talk to.

Also, I'd say different strokes for different strokes applies in two ways here. First, having intimate emotionally driven sex isn't a priority for everyone, nor is just plain physical sex without such a large intimacy aspect.

Secondly, I wouldn't agree with the idea of 'getting good at it' with other people so you're quite good at it by the stage you meet someone you connect with. Different strokes for different folks, there isn't just one good way to have sex and 'being good at sex' with one person could be totally different to 'being good at sex' with another.

However, I admit I'm taking things a bit literally there and it would certainly be true to say that experience would certainly help in terms of being less awkward or embarrassed etc.

How would it mean more to you when you meet someone you connect with, if you've had 'less meaningful' sex with others? I'm seriously just curious here, also I don't think 'waiting' would make it any more meaningful either.

cson · 17-01-2009 12:39am

I never said less meaningful, cos at the end of the day sex means as much as you want it mean. My stable of thought, and again it suits some but not others I concede, is that I think its better to go out there and have as much fun while you're young. Its a big world out there and personally I'm of the opinion it makes you a more rounded person. Of course horses for courses and all that! :P

cocoa · 17-01-2009 12:51am

cson wrote: »

I never said less meaningful, cos at the end of the day sex means as much as you want it mean. My stable of thought, and again it suits some but not others I concede, is that I think its better to go out there and have as much fun while you're young. Its a big world out there and personally I'm of the opinion it makes you a more rounded person. Of course horses for courses and all that! :P

yeah, sorry. less meaningful is the wrong phrase. I think I meant just without so much 'relationship' or 'intimacy' involved.

Totally accept the horses for courses

Personally I'll stick to sex with people I'm really into emotionally / personality -wise, i.e., someone I felt close to and could talk to about anything. But there's no reason why everyone, or even anyone should do the same. At the end of the day I'd say almost anything is fine as long as you're personally comfortable with what you're doing.

Shacklebolt · 17-01-2009 12:55am

whadabouchasir wrote: »

Ever been to the middle east?

Or bible belt USA? To be honest Ireland is quite liberal these days.

*adele* · 17-01-2009 1:22am

EDIT-Aimed at cson

Thats a strange outlook to have. Its not like everyones waiting for their Mr/Ms.Right, Its more like waiting for a moment/person when it means something, its not something you should try get done as fast as possible,like ripping off a plaster hahaha. Most people could lose it young if they wanted, but some would choose not to.

On a seperate note,I dont think EVERYONES first time is a disappointment.

cson · 17-01-2009 2:36am

Not a strange outlook, just a different one to most here

Again, everyone is different and what suits one person may not suit another. The point I'm trying to make is that from my experience and that of my friends (and I include girls in that) sex wouldn't be looked upon as a major deal... thats probably the wrong choice of words tbh, the best way I can put it is we've a liberal attitude and wouldn't see any harm in having a bit of fun with someone you weren't that emotionally attached to.

Also with the first time thing, I think too many put it up on a pedestal for want of a better phrase and inevitable end up feeling disappointed. Plus you're not gonna be all too great at it your first time, but you've got to learn to walk before you can run and I guess in that case you'd be better for those experiences.

*adele* · 17-01-2009 2:53am

I can kinda see your point, though it wouldn't be my opinion. Everyones going to have a different attitude towards it,i guess.
I have to disagree with you about the waiting thing, I was glad I didnt do it with some guy when I was younger. I would have regretted it.

17-01-2009 2:56am

I believe it's important to stress the importance of safe sex. Always, always wear a condom. Even if you think it's inconvenient. The 10 seconds it takes to put one on is nothing compared to the consequences if you don't- the obvious being pregnancy or STi's.

And even if your first time is bad, there's even more experiences out there to get better.

Oh and a word about coldsores. If you have a cold sore; it is vital not to give any form of oral sex. You will likely pass the herpes virus on to him/her and then if you proceed to have unprotected sex with this person, you will pass it on to yourself.

cocoa · 17-01-2009 9:46am

cson wrote: »

Not a strange outlook, just a different one to most here

Again, everyone is different and what suits one person may not suit another. The point I'm trying to make is that from my experience and that of my friends (and I include girls in that) sex wouldn't be looked upon as a major deal... thats probably the wrong choice of words tbh, the best way I can put it is we've a liberal attitude and wouldn't see any harm in having a bit of fun with someone you weren't that emotionally attached to.

Also with the first time thing, I think too many put it up on a pedestal for want of a better phrase and inevitable end up feeling disappointed. Plus you're not gonna be all too great at it your first time, but you've got to learn to walk before you can run and I guess in that case you'd be better for those experiences.

I agree with a lot of that. I'd definitely say putting it up on a pedestal is a terrible idea and thinking of sex as being the be all and end all is not good.

Back when I was younger and foolisher (yes, it's a word =P ... holy crap, spellchecker actually doesn't mind that... weird...) I used to think of things in terms of stages, you'd start with kissing and sex was like THE END. Bad idea

For one thing, it builds it up as some huge thing, which it's not, it is good and great fun, but it's definitely not THE END. Also, if you think of it in stages etc. when you *do* have sex, you may get this feeling of 'what next?' or 'ok, it's over now'. Now I try not to think of things in stages, just enjoying time with whoever I'm with and doing things we're both comfortable doing

Oh and you're absolutely right boneyarsebogman, everyone who's having sex should be having safe sex.

seanybiker · 17-01-2009 9:56am

I had to wait till I was 16 to lose my virginity. Couldnt belive it when after 6 months of begging she said yes. Didnt have a fecking clue what i was at ha ha. I thought i was gonna be some porn star person who was gonna last hours so i went about 90 miles an hour . About 2 minutes later I was texting all my mates ha ha.

Ginja Ninja · 17-01-2009 11:07am

seanybiker wrote: »

I had to wait till I was 16 to lose my virginity. Couldnt belive it when after 6 months of begging she said yes.

wait till you were 16 what exactly would you call early to so ? 13?*shivers*

Toto Wolfcastle · 17-01-2009 11:13am

I'm hugely surprised that people have mentioned that those who haven't had sex are regarded as weird in some schools.

When I was in school (not that long ago!) I never felt any pressure from others to 'do it'. People had sex if they wanted, and didn't if they didn't want to.

Perhaps the fact that I had a boyfriend contributed to it. Perhaps they presumed I had it on tap, so to speak!

To those who deal with that crap daily, do you really want to be like the ones who put pressure on others to have sex just to be 'cool'?

Most of the posters on here are better than that anyway.

whadabouchasir · 17-01-2009 1:29pm

I agree completely with you I go to an all lads school and there are about 100 lads in my year. In all my time I have never been put under any pressure to lose my virginity nor has it ever been an issue.Also in my school it is seen as far worse to be a "man whore" than a virgin.

Nightwish · 17-01-2009 3:55pm

When I was in secondary school I was in a long term relationship. The only time sex was an issue was when one of the "cool" girls asked me in front of everyone was I sleeping with my boyfriend. She was just being a b!tch though. Now she is the mother of a 5 year old son, and she genuinely doesnt know who the father is and living on benefits in a council house, not working.

See kids! If you're a b!tch, you'll end up like that

fonpokno · 17-01-2009 4:20pm

janeybabe wrote: »

I'm hugely surprised that people have mentioned that those who haven't had sex are regarded as weird in some schools.

Really?? My school was like that. I was considered a freak for most of school! We had a boys school right across the road and another about 5mins away and it was almost expected that we would be with those guys. A lot of girls from my year gained a reputation of being easy pretty damn quickly in those schools. I think 3 girls in my year had kids before the leaving cert.

I didn't kiss anyone til I was 15 and I didn't have sex until I was almost 19. The guy I slept with was a randomer who I'd met a few times. I had a good time but it was purely physical and I don't regret that. I wasn't nervous about it cos I knew nothing was going to come of it.

I must say though, the difference between having sex with any random fella and having sex with someone you actually care about is great.

cautioner · 17-01-2009 4:22pm

Maybe I should revise my urban/rural comment to single-sex/mixed schools? I have noticed very different attitudes to sex from friends who go to an all-boys school.

thusspakeblixa · 17-01-2009 4:28pm

Yeah... maybe it is is a more urban thing that being a virgin in school is weird.
I don;t really know why, maybe you culchies are just more relaxed toward the whole thing

cautioner · 17-01-2009 4:30pm

Perhaps all the turnips we munch have some manner of anti-aphrodisiac effect? :P

DenMan · 17-01-2009 4:35pm

Well said janey.

It all depends on your school. Mine was an all boys school and there was a lot of rivalry between both those from the town and the country. The girls school's weren't too far away. I was a Dub in Sligo so naturally was mistrusted by both sides. That being said I had a girlfriend in school so I always kept out of the fighting. Was an outsider.

However, I do recall one of the "top blokes" asking me in front of his pals was I sleeping with her. Told him I was and that was the end of it. Incidentially he now has no job, lives in a council house with his partner and has 6 kids. It's just the way it works out. Not somebody I kept in touch with.

Diabhal Beag · 17-01-2009 4:44pm

You can't trust girls under 17 with sex. They don't understand the difficulties of having a pregnancy so they don't ever tell you when they are having "THE DAY".

Be careful like I was and you'll have no problems kids.

fonpokno · 17-01-2009 4:49pm

Perhaps it is the single-sex/mixed school thing. I was in all girls' schools all my life until college and grew up with two older sisters so men were kind of mysterious and such until quite recently!

Little Shyte wrote: »

You can't trust girls under 17 with sex. They don't understand the difficulties of having a pregnancy so they don't ever tell you when they are having "THE DAY".

Be careful like I was and you'll have no problems kids.

Well that's hardly fair. Quite frankly, that's bollocks.

Toto Wolfcastle · 17-01-2009 4:52pm

I just remembered that one of the girls in my class was pregnant in 6th year, so perhaps after that no one wanted to mention sex just in case!

(She had the baby and went back to do an exam the following week!)

However, even before that there was no pressure. There was more pressure to kiss guys when I was younger.

cautioner · 17-01-2009 4:55pm

Yeah, I remember being supremely embarrassed that I hadn't kissed a girl when I was in first year. Ha, first year! So ridiculous...

fonpokno · 17-01-2009 5:11pm

I was the same cautioner! But I was mortified because I was generously informed that I was a freak. At the age of 12. Girls suck.

Fad · 17-01-2009 5:31pm

cautioner wrote: »

Yeah, I remember being supremely embarrassed that I hadn't kissed a girl when I was in first year. Ha, first year! So ridiculous...

I more or less wish I knew the first couple of girls I kissed names

"Meeting" complete strangers really wasnt a good idea:rolleyes:

So knowing their name is now a rule for all forms of contact in my books:pac:

cocoa · 17-01-2009 5:37pm

Fad wrote: »

I more or less wish I knew the first couple of girls I kissed names

"Meeting" complete strangers really wasnt a good idea:rolleyes:

So knowing their name is now a rule for all forms of contact in my books:pac:

lol, snap. I remember pressure over being a fridget (uh oh, spell checker doesn't like it...) and meeting some girl whose name I didn't know, who a friend asked to meet me... In hindsight not that great of a friend but oh well

Knowing the name is a great rule IMO

tolosenc · 17-01-2009 6:21pm

I'd definitely say the difference exists betwenn mixed and single sex education. Guys I know who were in an all boys school still, at age 20/21, can't accept that if I'm in my female friend's house we're just hanging out. I mean, they thought watching a movie was a euphamism...

Though, having been in mixed education all my life, it feels more natural to be mates with a girl rather than go out with one. I dunno. That's my 2 cents.

cHaTbOx · 17-01-2009 7:01pm

cautioner wrote: »

Yeah, I remember being supremely embarrassed that I hadn't kissed a girl when I was in first year. Ha, first year! So ridiculous...

fonpokno wrote: »

I was the same cautioner! But I was mortified because I was generously informed that I was a freak. At the age of 12. Girls suck.

I felt like that but thing is it was the language barrier. In like sixth class and such they asked me had I "shifted "(I hate that word) a girl .
I didn't know what they were on about it so I said no thinking it meant the whole way .Thing is I did when I was five or six . Just look back and laugh at what a load of BS it was.
I need to get a connection with someone,be it physical or emotional , otherwise I regret anything I do and don't enjoy it .

Davidius · 17-01-2009 7:05pm

obl wrote: »

female friend

This is where I get lost. Can you explain?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 17-01-2009 7:07pm

obl wrote: »

I'd definitely say the difference exists betwenn mixed and single sex education. Guys I know who were in an all boys school still, at age 20/21, can't accept that if I'm in my female friend's house we're just hanging out. I mean, they thought watching a movie was a euphamism...

Though, having been in mixed education all my life, it feels more natural to be mates with a girl rather than go out with one. I dunno. That's my 2 cents.

Yeah, definitely. Some girls I know who'd been in all girl schools their whole lives had a very difficult time relating to guys as just friends when they got to college, they were in girly-girl mode the second a guy walked through the door. That doesn't apply to all girls who went to single sex schools by any means though.

challengemaster · 17-01-2009 7:10pm

Ah it's great to be able to have a bit of craic with girls aswell as lads. mixed schools ftw.

Must say though... there's some fun to be had in single sex schools too

:pac:

C&H sex discussion thread

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