C&H sex discussion thread

Ginja Ninja · 14-01-2009 8:55pm #1

with a very mature take on the subject what are your opinions with the whole underage thing?

personally i'm a virgin,but then again i don't buy in to this whole one night stand bull you only get one first time then,go ride like jockies.

oh and the underage law ...what's the point? if you do or not i can't imagine a garda going round *ahem* ""investigating" young ladies/fellas business

okay the dazzler reminded me of something this is NOT about the law in particular just the general subject

14-01-2009 8:58pm

The law is there to protect young children.If their was no age of consent.Some person(40) could convince a 14 year teenager that it is ok to have sex and then we wouldn't be able to act and try and stop it without the age of consent.Although, I can see a reason for it being on a case by case basis.(ie a 17 year sleeping with a 16 year old.)

14-01-2009 9:12pm

Deleted User wrote: »

The law is there to protect young children.If their was no age of consent.Some person(40) could convince a 14 year teenager that it is ok to have sex and then we wouldn't be able to act and try and stop it without the age of consent.Although, I can see a reason for it being on a case by case basis.(ie a 17 year sleeping with a 16 year old.)

The law has to be absolute. Law has to be objective; it can't be defined for each subjective case. Thus, it has to apply for 17 and 16 year olds if it is to apply for 40 and 14 year olds. Even though I don't agree with it being strict on 16/17/18 year olds, I can see why it is the way it is.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 14-01-2009 9:19pm

When I was 14 or 15, there were classmates doin' it all over the place who thought they were the bees knees, and part of me was kinda jealous. Looking back though, I'm glad I didn't join in. Jesus, some of the lads I fancied back then...

As well, I might sound like a prude, but there is a maturity issue imo. Young teenagers seem to see sex as a status badge, or something to do to prove how mature they are. There's something really depressing about a 15 year old boasting about their conquests, and, especially in the case of girls, it's easier to lose your virginity than the slut-badge you get for starting too early. I think about 17, 18 is plenty of time to have an anyway serious sexual relationship. But then again, some of the aforementioned class mates who gave it up in their early teens are still together so...I dunno.

challengemaster · 14-01-2009 9:29pm

Only real complaint I have about not starting early is a sore wrist :pac:

Seriously though, I'd agree with electro~bitch on most things. As for people with the one-night thing, meh, that's their own business. Personally I'm more of a relationship kinda guy..

LivingDeadGirl · 14-01-2009 10:19pm

Lost mine at 16, which may seem early to some, I suppose it kinda is! I wasn't going out with him at the time either! However nearly 2 years on it's a different story

tolosenc · 14-01-2009 10:41pm

Those of you who haven't done it, don't rush into it. I had it massively built up in my head, and as much fun as it was, I was disappointed by it.

giggsy664 · 14-01-2009 10:46pm

I'm 13. Yeah.

Besides, sex is icky and ooey

Davidius · 14-01-2009 11:04pm

obl wrote: »

Those of you who haven't done it, don't rush into it. I had it massively built up in my head, and as much fun as it was, I was disappointed by it.

I always thought everybody was disappointed by it. :pac:

Staying true to my nerdish tendencies I have never had sex. Based on my experiences with women, that's not going to change for a long time. :pac:

Though the idea of sex with a girl I barely know is really off putting. It seems very weird.

"Hi, I don't really know you. Can I put my penis in there and release some DNA paste for the craic?"

It doesn't really matter anyway. The girls around here aren't all that great. River in Egypt?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 14-01-2009 11:05pm

obl wrote: »

Those of you who haven't done it, don't rush into it. I had it massively built up in my head, and as much fun as it was, I was disappointed by it.

I've never heard of anyone who wasn't disappointed with their first time, I've heard some stories that make me wonder why the person even did it again.

Insect Overlord · 14-01-2009 11:13pm

The over-all experience of the first time, if it's with somebody you're close to, someone who means a lot to you, someone you share a bond with, can be amazing even if the physical act itself is underwhelming.

I had a chance to lose my virginity in an alley-way when I was 15, but ended up waiting til I was 18. I'm glad I did. It felt much more right than the original scenario.

aloevera · 14-01-2009 11:16pm

i was 16 when i lost my pureness

myself and the guy discussed it thoroughly and were going out a year before we had sex.

we broke up 2 months later, and 5 years on are still friends...

i love thinking back to the 'first love'/'puppy love' days..

i think personally, its a bigger deal for girls, as they can tend to get more emotionally involved and therefore i feel, maybe its best that if a teen is willing to hae sex at a young age - 15/16- that they be in a relationship with someone they trust and can talk to about it. it makes it hell of a lot easier - more comfortable and relaxed/at ease :cool:

Piste · 14-01-2009 11:42pm

Phew, when I saw this thread I was very apprehensive, wondering if I'd have t go editing and deleting left right and centre.

But nope

all genuine contributions and thoughts, thank you all for making my Wednesday night so much easier!

*kisses*

I used to think the age of consent was a load of rubbish and limited our freedoms etc. but I realise now that if an underage couple want to have sex they can do so illegaly, but seeing as they're both consenting, neither is going to run to the Gards (unless one is seriously vindictive- lesson to underage guys with underage girlfriends: DON'T EVER CHEAT ON THEM) so in that way the age of consent doesn't really inhibit them.

What it does is protect someone who is being abused or manipulated. Although one thing I never really understood is why normal rape laws can't be applied here instead of the age of consent laws. Ho hum.

It's incorrect to say "sex is a big deal" or "sex is no big deal" because everyone has a different take on it. You can view sex as being a big deal and still have loads of casual sex, you can view sex as being nothing too important at all but still have meaningful sex with someone you love. There are no right or wrongs as long as the both of you are happy.*

*and legal. Boards.ie does not condone any illegal underage behaviour.

cocoa · 14-01-2009 11:45pm

a serious thread in C and H? odd...

Personally I don't think the whole underage thing ever really comes into it. The only people going to stop you are parents, not the gards. I'm 19 now, but although I've never checked, I think my parents still wouldn't be ok with me having sex at home...

the underage law is there to protect minors, and it means rapists can be prosecuted without forcing the victim to appear in court.

Personally, I'm 19 and still a virgin, but it stopped meaning anything a good while ago

Anyone making a big deal out of it is just silly IMO, it's not what you do, it's who you do it with. I'm single now but I probably would've done it with the last girl I was with if she'd wanted to. At this stage, I don't really expect anything of it and don't build it up. When and if I get involved with someone again, then we'll see

Oh and personally, everyone's different and everything but for me, I wouldn't want to do it with anyone I wasn't also really close to, could talk to about everything, was totally comfortable being with etc.

Once again, just say no to high expectations kids

KnifeWRENCH · 14-01-2009 11:51pm

Piste wrote: »

Phew, when I saw this thread I was very apprehensive, wondering if I'd have t go editing and deleting left right and centre.

Heh, I thought the same.
[jinxes thread]Things seem to be going fairly smoothly though.[/jinxes thread]

cocoa wrote: »

a serious thread in C and H? odd...

We live in hope...

cocoa wrote:

Personally, I'm 19 and still a virgin, but it stopped meaning anything a good while ago

Snap!

I've no idea when my first time will be or who it'll be with (been single for a long time unfortunately). When it happens, it happens. I don't let myself get bothered by dwelling on it.

Piste · 14-01-2009 11:54pm

It's surprising how many people don't seem to care about being virgins. Not that I'm saying you should, but it really goes against the stereotype of teenage guys trying to ride anything they can get their paws on.

At least it means you probably wont be disappointed

Sex is nice and all, but it's not the be all and end all and isn't a huge life-changing event (unless you get pregnant or an STI). You'e still the same person after as you were before.

cocoa · 14-01-2009 11:56pm

square_igloo wrote: »

Snap!
I've no idea when my first time will be or who it'll be with (been single for a long time unfortunately). When it happens, it happens. I don't let myself get bothered by dwelling on it.

wow we should totally meet up sometime...

ahem...

Yeah, at some stage a while back I read a lot of info online about the mysterious sex monster and eventually altered my outlook. Many people consider penetrative sex to be the be all and end all but it's far from it, in fact some people prefer other kinds. Considering it like a hierarchy starting with kissing and ending with sex is a bad idea IMO. Now I really look at it as all about who you're with, just do whatever you're both comfortable with and it's gonna be loads of fun

challengemaster · 14-01-2009 11:57pm

Piste wrote: »

ride anything they can get their paws on.

Well technically....:pac:

but yeah, not as big a deal as its made out to be.

KnifeWRENCH · 14-01-2009 11:58pm

Piste wrote: »

It's surprising how many people don't seem to care about being virgins. Not that I'm saying you should, but it really goes against the stereotype of teenage guys trying to ride anything they can get their paws on.

It used to bother me a lot. Now I just don't focus on it.
Obsessing over it and being miserable isn't gonna solve anything.

cocoa · 14-01-2009 11:59pm

Piste wrote: »

Not that I'm saying you should, but it really goes against the stereotype of teenage guys trying to ride anything they can get their paws on.

I hate that stereotype!!! A girl was surprised when I said no, that I wasn't ready. Guys don't have to be the gas and girls don't have to be the brakes!!!

</rant>

oh, not attacking you by the way Piste, just the stereotype

Unregistered. · 14-01-2009 11:59pm

thenewbigguy wrote: »

jost asking if it wrong for a 18 year old woman has sex with a 16 year old boy would the boy get in trable

An File wrote: »

Probably not, but the girl definitely could.

Wasn't the legal age 15 for men and 17 for women? I know the debate about making it 16 all around started a few years ago but I haven't been sure since! Which is it?

Piste · 15-01-2009 12:04am

I think it used to be 16 for men and 17 for women. Have no idea if it's changed.

Unregistered. · 15-01-2009 12:07am

different sites are yielded conflicting results, I defo think it was 15 for men though. I remember having a MASSIVELY-blown-out-of-proportion row with a friend of mine who said it was 17 all round. Had good reasons for the arguement but it was 2~3 yearsa ago now.

KnifeWRENCH · 15-01-2009 12:08am

Professor Wiki Pedia says:

The age of consent in Ireland is 17 for carnal contact, with non-carnal contact being allowed at 15, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender (although this relies on an interpretation of what "carnal contact" and "non-carnal contact" refers to). Sex with a minor over the age of 15 carries a lower sentence than that for when the minor is below 15, although the punishments were raised in the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2006.

Piste · 15-01-2009 12:08am

From the website www.ageofconsent.com it says:

The legal age at which a person is currently competent to consent to sexual intercourse is currently seventeen (17) years.

eVeNtInE · 15-01-2009 12:08am

This post has been deleted.

Piste · 15-01-2009 12:10am

Yeah I'd be surprised if it wasn't challenged, seing as it's blatant gender discrimination.

challengemaster · 15-01-2009 12:16am

I'm 1000% certain its 17 for both now.

Aisling(",) · 15-01-2009 12:21am

I had just turned 15 the first time i had sex and it was a huge mistake.Stupid night with a friend who i dont even talk to now.At the time i was so flattered that he liked me i felt as if i owed him something and that sex and the like would suffice and he was rather pushy.I had that mentality for a while and my self confidence was really low which wasnt helped by the sex thing as it became all he saw me as.

After a while i became more comfortable in my own skin and became more confident and realised that i deserved better then to be thought of as just some pathetic girl who went along with what ever the lad wanted.I'm a lot happy now because of it.When i had sex with someone who i cared deeply for it meant somthing to me and it just felt a lot more special.

As for the physical side sex has been one of the most painful things ive done at times so that has kinda sucked but in general is alrite not great.WAY over rated and doing it dosent change you at all.To anyone who feels bothered by being a virgin i just hope you wait till its someone special and have a better first time then i had.:)

Unregistered. · 15-01-2009 12:23am

Section 2 of Criminal Law Amendment Act, 1935...

(1) Any person who unlawfully and carnally knows any girl who is of or over the age of fifteen years and under the age of seventeen years shall be guilty of a misdemeanour and shall be liable, in the case of a first conviction of such misdemeanour, to penal.....
...
...(2) Any person who attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of any girl who is of or over the age of fifteen years and under the age of seventeen years shall be guilty of a misdemeanour....

No mention of males what so ever! hmmm....

Piste · 15-01-2009 12:28am

Yeah I noticed that too, deeply unfair.

Insect Overlord · 15-01-2009 12:28am

Unregistered. wrote: »

Section 2 of Criminal Law Amendment Act, 1935...

No mention of males what so ever! hmmm....

Dude, you have no idea how out-of-date that legislation is...

Piste · 15-01-2009 12:31am

Has it been amended since then with regards males?

eVeNtInE · 15-01-2009 12:35am

This post has been deleted.

15-01-2009 12:38am

Piste wrote: »

Has it been amended since then with regards males?

No, I don't think it has been. At least I haven't heard or read anything about it being changed.

It is ridiculously unfair really. It shows how far gender equality has really come.

Unregistered. · 15-01-2009 12:44am

An File wrote: »

Dude, you have no idea how out-of-date that legislation is...

Eh well the name says it all (1935), I'm not the one who updates it, so don't shoot the messenger! Right?!
Just beacuse it is over 70 years old does not mean it cannot be used today. Take our "new" constitution for example(1937), which you can find on the same website.
However, if you'd like to help enlighten yourself and indeed those on boards.ie who are expressing an interest in this thread then please, go find the most recent amendment of that act, and post it here.

Piste wrote: »

Has it been amended since then with regards males?

Beening looking, but nothing explicitly obvious! And the "search" box on that sight isn't working for me

Eric Cartman · 15-01-2009 12:57am

An File wrote: »

The over-all experience of the first time, if it's with somebody you're close to, someone who means a lot to you, someone you share a bond with, can be amazing even if the physical act itself is underwhelming.

I had a chance to lose my virginity in an alley-way when I was 15, but ended up waiting til I was 18. I'm glad I did. It felt much more right than the original scenario.

but alley ways are the best part :pac::pac:

drkpower · 15-01-2009 1:02am

-JammyDodger- wrote: »

The law has to be absolute. Law has to be objective; it can't be defined for each subjective case. Thus, it has to apply for 17 and 16 year olds if it is to apply for 40 and 14 year olds. Even though I don't agree with it being strict on 16/17/18 year olds, I can see why it is the way it is.

????
The law is full of non-absolutes......"reasonable" must be the most common word used in legislation/court judgments...?

eVeNtInE · 15-01-2009 1:04am

This post has been deleted.

Insect Overlord · 15-01-2009 1:13am

I'm going to ignore most of Unregistered's last post because he/she clearly misunderstood what I meant by out-of-date.

There was a high-profile case a few years ago when a man was acquitted of statutory rape because, in his defense, he claimed that he firmly believed the girl in question was over the age of consent (she was 2/3 years too young in reality). This led to a quick run of appeals, in which two more (I think) men had convictions over-turned. It led to some ammendment of the laws surrounding the age of consent, but these were never properly cleared up for the general public.

link

Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2006
1

The former offences contained in the 1935 Act and the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act, 1993 have been replaced by two new offences of broader scope. S2 and S3 of the 2006 Act prohibit sexual intercourse, buggery, aggravated sexual assault and Section 4 Rape , or an attempt at any of these, with a child of either gender.

2

There is also a higher penalty under S3 if the person who commits the offence is a "person in authority" in relation to the victim.

3

S2 deals with children under 15 years old, and S3 deals with children under 17 years old. There are four substantive changes between the old offences and the new ones:

1) The defence of honest and reasonable mistake is now available;
2) The new offences can be committed against a child of either gender, not just female children, and female children have a positive defence under S5;
3) The new offences have a much broader scope and they are not just confined to sexual intercourse, buggery or gross indecency; and
4) S3 refers to children under 17 years old, while the former law referred to children between 15 years old and 17 years old. Under the new law a person can be charged with S2 and S3, whereas before they could only be charged with one or the other. Therefore, if a person raises a defence that he thought a girl was 16, it will be a defence to S2 but not to S3.

4

It should also be noted at this stage, that there is no provision which exculpates children of a similar age from engaging in sexual activities. Thus, on a bare reading of the Act, it is illegal for all children under the age of 17 to have sexual contact with each other, with the exception of girls as provided for in S5. While sexual acts are permissible between married persons, the Family Law Act, 1995 states that a marriage between persons under 18 years old is not valid unless exempted by the courts.

5

The 2006 Act was enacted within 2 weeks of the CC case, and the Oireactas must be commended on the speed at which they closed the gap in Irish criminal law. However, because of the foregoing issues, it may be difficult for the Courts to interpret the 2006 Act. It may be desirable that the 2006 Act be amended in the near future in order to avoid another situation similar to the CC case.

Useful links: CRIMINAL LAW (SEXUAL OFFENCES) ACT, 2006 - Bar Council of Ireland

Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Bill 2006 (No. 27 of 2006)

Irish Independant article

"Statutory rape bill becomes law"

15-01-2009 4:13am

All I am saying is that I was way way too young when it happened.

JC 2K3 · 15-01-2009 4:26am

Piste wrote: »

It's surprising how many people don't seem to care about being virgins. Not that I'm saying you should, but it really goes against the stereotype of teenage guys trying to ride anything they can get their paws on.

You're forgetting we're all outcasts

I reckon the stereotype is a lot less common than you might think, and it all comes from peer pressure really. Virginity was never a big deal to me, because due the friends I hung out with when I was in secondary school, I was never exposed to guys my age bragging about sex, and I never really felt under any pressure to lose my virginity. For example, when I was with my first girlfriend at 16, the thought of sex might have crossed my mind occasionally, but I wasn't pushed about it, and certainly didn't expect it.

15-01-2009 12:15pm

Your friends say they were having sex at 16. Or whatever. But how do you know it's not just them bragging over nothing?

I lost my virginity when I was 18. Was in no real rush. My first time was a drunken mess; didn't even know the girl, where I was. Obviously have had better experiences since then (I'm 23), but there was no rush.

Unfortunately it's not always a case of waiting for the right one. But there is no point rushing into anything.

Rozabeez · 15-01-2009 12:15pm

Internet nerds don't have sex!

15-01-2009 12:17pm

Rozabeez wrote: »

Internet nerds don't have sex!

Really?

Damn.

Rozabeez · 15-01-2009 12:45pm

Yes, and ESPECIALLY not with each other, in the top sekkrit boards.ie underground swingers club.

15-01-2009 12:47pm

Rozabeez wrote: »

Yes, and ESPECIALLY not with each other, in the top sekkrit boards.ie underground swingers club.

Ssshh you can't mention the top sekkrit boards.ie underground swingers club!

Though it has to be said they do have an incredibly inventive secret handshake.

KnifeWRENCH · 15-01-2009 1:44pm

JC 2K3 wrote: »

You're forgetting we're all outcasts
Virginity was never a big deal to me, because due the friends I hung out with when I was in secondary school, I was never exposed to guys my age bragging about sex, and I never really felt under any pressure to lose my virginity.

I was in a similar situation. Most of my friends were back then were girls, and at least two of my male friends were gay. So I never heard other guys bragging about sex either.

Eric Cartman · 15-01-2009 3:31pm

Rozabeez wrote: »

Internet nerds don't have sex!

thats why your here roz

Insect Overlord · 15-01-2009 4:38pm

Rozabeez wrote: »

Yes, and ESPECIALLY not with each other, in the top sekkrit boards.ie underground swingers club.

O_o

*walks away whistling innocently*

cautioner · 16-01-2009 12:54am

Interesting thread. I'm 18, in 6th year, and almost certain I can count the people in my year who've lost their V-plates on two hands. (about 90 in my year btw).
I can count them because everyone gossips about it if someone does get some poontang. Woe, the conversation-starved youth of the day...

C&H sex discussion thread

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